Sarcasm At Its Best

by ParaNoiablooD

P.E. class was probably the most horrid class on the face of the planet. At least for everyone else that's what P.E. class is to them. For Tsunayoshi Sawada P.E. was boring as hell. Thus he took it upon himself to skip class and take a nap in the RR. 1827 DISCONTINUED. WILL BE REWRITTEN. NOT COMPLETE.

11. Chapter 10

IMPORTANT NOTICE: Okay, so I was mauled by a tonfa wielding cat…I don't remember who it belongs to…but it threatened me to write this chapter…right…to the story…

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"Lambo, I'm ordering this as your boss," Tsuna started, arms crossed and face serious. He stared down at the eight year old sternly, "You are not a part of the Bovino familigia anymore, and thus you follow me."

Lambo was uncharacteristically serious, "What are my orders, boss?"

Tsuna reached his hand out and placed something in the child's hands, "I order you to use these in your battle along with that."

Lambo looked down at the objects in his hands before look up at Tsuna in shock, "But these are—"

Tsuna held his gaze, "Exactly."

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Start Flashback

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"Sho-chan, can you do me a favor?" Tsuna asked over the phone, pacing his study.

On the other line Shouichi Irie blinked in surprise, "Depends on what you need."

"I need you to tinker and improve something for me," Tsuna replied.

"What is it?" Irie asked warily, organizing his notes on the latest thing Tsuna had him working on. If it weren't for the fact that he greatly respected the teen he probably would never do this or have his true personality come out.

"A time traveling bazooka," Tsuna answered. "I need you to recreate it, but to make so that the future person can stay for up to twenty minutes."

Shouichi fiddled with his pencil, chewing on the eraser, "When do you need it?" It sounded like an interesting project and his hands were already itching to take apart and study the object.

"Soon."

Shouichi smirked, eyes flashing, "Alright, I'll do it."

"Thanks, Sho-chan, this means a lot."

"Any time, boss." Shouichi snapped his phone shut and waited for the arrival of his new assignment. Not even five minutes later a DC member was at his door with a box in his arms. Shouichi smiled and thanked the teen before vanishing into his room. His parents shook their heads when they went to bed that night and their son's bedroom light was still on.

Tsuna flipped his phone back open after cancelling his call and dialed a reluctantly memorized number. "Hello, Sawada Iemitsu."

"Dad, you are going to do something for me and there will be no arguments," Tsuna snapped back in greeting.

"Huh?" was Iemitsu's intelligent answer.

"I need you to get something for me from the Bovino boss," Tsuna started. "It's an old and worn pair of horns."

"Son, I can't jus—"

Tsuna interrupted his excuse, "You want to live in this house right?"

Iemitsu sighed, "Alright, I'll do it."

Tsuna smiled brightly, "Thank you." Then in a more dark and dangerous tone added, "I better have them soon, or there will be hell to pay." He then snapped his phone shut. He sat at the study's desk and held his head in his hands sighing. "I hate being boss, sometimes."

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End Flashback

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Tsuna smiled wickedly as he twirled in the rain, Lambo was trailing behind, looking drunk, though that was because of all the thunder and lightning. Gokudera sighed, gripping his lover's hand, "Where is the next battle taking place?"

Mukuro did his little Kufufuing and Chrome sighed, shaking her head. Ryohei was punching the air out in front of him and whispering extreme under his breath. Ken and a reluctant Chikusa were with the group this time, mostly because Ken was worried about his 'little brother' not that he'd tell anyone. Hibari was at the back of the group, arms crossed and jacket flying out behind him. The two Crevello appeared on top of a building and the first one pointed at the roof, "Please look over there."

The other Crevello continued, "That will be tonight's battle field."

Lambo looked up and he suddenly smiled wolfishly, his eyes glittering with anticipation. He jumped up and down, "I think I'm going to enjoy this one!"

Tsuna's smile grin more wicked.

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"Tonight's combat area will be fitted with lightning rods for the match between the thunder guardians. The battle ground is called Elettrico Circuito," the Crevello announced. Lightning flashed and slammed into one of the rods. Lightning crackled dangerously and lit up the entire floor of the arena.

"The Elettrico Curcuito's floor has been coated with a special conductor. The lightning that strikes the rods will be discharged onto the floor at several times its normal potency," the other Crevello explained. Lambo was jumping up and down excitedly, eyes gleaming with dangerous curiosity.

He wasn't wearing the horns Tsuna gave him, but they were on his person. His grin sharpened and looked up at Tsuna, "Tsuna-nii, I wanna play with the toy!"

Tsuna sweatdropped when Gokudera snapped, "Don't bug the tenth, stupid cow!" The Italian took one of Lambo's horns and took a marker out before quickly scrawling, 'stupid cow' on it. He gave it back, "Here, stupid cow."

Lambo blinked, having not realized that Gokudera had even taken one of the horns, too preoccupied with staring at the arena. "Oh, thanks, Bakadera."

Before Gokudera could retort, the first Crevello announced, "Thunder guardian, please go to the center of the battleground. Your opponent has been waiting for two hours."

Lambo sighed, "Two hours? How lame…not to mention troublesome…" Before he entered the arena Yamamoto grabbed him and dragged him in the suddenly formed circle.

Ken blinked and whispered, "What the hell are we doing?"

Nobody answered him as Lambo, Yamamoto, and Ryohei shouted, "LAMBO! FIGHT!"

The rest of the group let out the same reluctant semi-loud, "OH!"

Lambo sighed and entered the arena. Belphegor grinned, "Levi showed up two hours early again! I can't believe him."

Mammon kept her face blank, not that you could see it much anyways, "Unlike you, he's sometime over zealous."

Squalo scowled sharply, "Just finish it already!"

"Then now, the battle for the thunder ring, Levi A. Than vs. Sawada Lambo, you may now begin!" the Crevello shouted.

Lambo ignored his opponent and crouched down, touching the floor, "I wonder how this works…?" Lightning flashed and hit one of the rods. The electricity travelled and screamed through Lambo. Lambo screamed, but it wasn't so much of pain, though that was still there, but relief. When the lightning vanished his body was limp.

The Crevello blinked, "We have to check if he is alive." She was bit unnerved by the seemingly uncaring faces of the Vongola family.

Levi scoffed, "There's no need…he's gone."

Lambo suddenly sniffed and sat up, wailing at the top of his lungs. "It hurts!"

Belphegor held his chin, "Maybe this will make Levi serious."

Mammon quietly agreed and added her own thoughts, "Levi is completely dedicated to the boss. He accomplishes his jobs, is punctual, and became a guardian—all to get boss's appraisal. If he hears there is someone better suited to be the guardian…He'll probably burn in the fire of jealously."

Lambo suddenly stopped crying and whipped out a bazooka; he aimed it at his head and fired. A cloud of smoke exploded and Levi continued his charge. Levi threw a punch at his opponent and a fist caught it. A bored voice cut through the cloud of smoke, "Jeez, my younger self always gets into the worst situations…"

When the smoke cleared it showed ten year later Lambo holding Levi's fist. In his other hand he was holding chopsticks which had a dumpling on it. He shoved the dumpling in his mouth and ate it. He then let go of Levi's fist and the taller man jumped back. Lambo cracked his neck and shifted his horns. "Thunder set." Lightning flashed down and screamed into Lambo.

The eighteen year old charged his opponent, "Elettrico Cornata!"

Levi scoffed, "You stand out too much. The one who'll fulfill the role of the thunder guardian and gain the most trust from the boss…" Levi tossed his umbrellas into the air and screamed, "WILL BE ME!" Lightning jumped from umbrella to umbrella, charging them up. Then all at once they shot lightning out at Lambo.

Lambo screamed his body glowing. He landed on the ground and all was silent. Then the young adult wailed for that entire he was worth, "IT HURTS!"

Levi scoffed once again and shot one of his weapons at the crying cow, "I will kill you thoroughly. I'll cut you up and make steak out of you." Still crying Lambo picked up the fallen bazooka and shot it at himself. Clouds exploded once again.

This time a much deeper and mature voice cut through the smoke as it dispersed, "Ah…this situation…" The man hummed and smiled wryly, "If I'm not dreaming, I must be in the past…"

Tsuna whistled loudly, "Damn, I knew Lambo grew up to be hot, but I didn't know he was going to be one sexy beast twenty years from now!" He clapped his hands happily, "I must be a wonderful brother to him for him to grow up sooo handsomely!"

Lambo turned and his smile turned somber, "I didn't think I'd get to see you guys again…how nostalgic…" He sniffed and wiped away a fake tear, "I'm going to cry now…my own brother is going on about how sexy I am when a very rough looking man is trying to stare me down!" Lambo his face in his arm and fake sobbed into it.

He looked up, however, when Levi spoke, "It doesn't matter who you are. I'm going to kill you."

Lambo gasped mockingly, placing a hand on his chest, "Great goddess of pocky, aren't you a brute?" He then leaned down and picked up the fallen half of the thunder ring. He then smiled, "But I'm different."

Levi scowled, "No more talk!" He threw his umbrellas once again, "DIE!" Electricity pulsed in the umbrellas and Lambo scratched the back of his head, bored. The lightning began to fall towards Lambo and Levi repeated, "Die."

The lightning screamed through the air as it slammed into Lambo. Lambo's scream echoed, and to the select few who paid attention to it noted it was in pleasure not pain. Tsuna smirked with Hibari and Reborn. Levi turned his back on his opponent, "He will be burnt to ashes. I wish the boss could see this light."

The screaming suddenly stopped and a sigh was heard, "And where the hell do you think you're going?"

Levi looked over his shoulder in shock, "What!"

Lambo smirked at him, "Watch." Lambo slammed his hand into the ground and the lightning exploded outwards, travelling quickly as it separated and jumped down the sides of the school chaotically. "Elettrico Reversal!"

Levi turned around fully, eyes wide, "He transfigured that huge amount of electric current into the ground?"

Lambo held his hand up and lightning was crackling playfully around it. He smirked, eyes becoming half-lidded, "Electricity is like a sensual pleasure to me. I can control it at will. Do you understand yet?" His eyes bored into Levi's, who suddenly felt very terrified. "I've perfected the Elettrico Cuoio."

Levi shoved his fear out of the way and charged at his opponent, "I'll kill you no matter what! Watch me go straight for the heart with my electricity!"

Lambo looked down and noticed the worn out horns lying on the ground. He smiled brightly and scooped them up, using one of them to block the strike of lightning heading towards his heart. He skidded back slightly. "Man have I missed my babies!" he shouted gleefully, rubbing the horns against his cheek. On the horn that blocked the strike, pieces were falling off and revealed the insult that Gokudera had written earlier.

Gokudera gaped, "He actually kept those? Even with the insult?"

Levi held his weapon up and stated calmly, though he was sweating bullet on the inside, "You won't get away this time!"

Lambo ignored him and replaced his current horns with his old ones. He sighed when they were on, "So much better than those damn back up horns." He leaned forward a bit and grinned in a way reminiscent of Tsuna's "Demon Smile." "Now I can go full out." Lightning flashed from the sky brightly and headed straight for Lambo, "Thunder set." He charged towards his opponent, "Elettrico Cornata!"

Levi laughed and held his weapon up to the sky, "Idiot, it won't work, because it has a fatal flaw."

Lambo smirked darkly and muck like Hibari, "That was then." He continued his road, but the electricity that was jumping from his horns suddenly exploded towards Levi. The attack hit Levi's weapon straight on, travelling up the conductor and screaming through the adult's body. Levi screamed and it was not in pleasure like Lambo's were.

Lambo's gaze held no sympathy, "No matter what time or place, if you insult my boss…" Lambo's cold eyes bore into Levi's terrified ones and he spat, "…I will not show mercy to that person." The lightning suddenly exploded and Levi's scream reached such a pitch that most had to cover their ears. Then it was gone and Levi was on the ground unconscious. Lambo's lip twitched coldly and reached down and ripped Levi's ring half off its chain.

He connected the two and just as he waved goodbye to his family he exploded into a cloud of smoke and eight year old Lambo was standing there, slightly singed and holding the ring in his hand. He smiled tiredly and the Crevello entered the ring. The first Crevello announced, slightly shocked, not that it showed, "Winner of the scramble of the rings of the thunder, Sawada Lambo!"

Lambo made his way slightly unsteady to his family. When he reached Tsuna the brunette pulled him into a hug and whispered in his ear, "You did well, Lambo, I'm proud of you."

Hearing those words from his big brother set Lambo into fresh tears as the rest of the family cheered and congratulated him.

IMPORTANT!_insert page break here_IMPORTANT!

ParaNoiablooD: Alright, explaining Shouichi's part and Lambo's age. So I decided that three years pass instead of just one and a half since Reborn came, so Lambo would be eight and Tsuna recruited Shouichi during that time. Also, the gang is in their third year, Hibari stays there until Tsuna graduates; Ryohei is actually in high school.

I actually decided it last chapter, when I made Lambo eight, but I won't fix the few edits I would have to do in the other chapters, so please just bear with me!