I heard a quote that I thought epitomized the relationship between Ed and Mustang: "When you laugh, I'll laugh. When you cry, I'll cry. When you jump out of a window...I'll laugh."

And so, I'll be adding another running gag that'll pop up once in a while: Hilariously awkward parental RoyEd. Not yaoi, just awkwardly parental stuff. Yep.

Also, I did a tally of how often the characters appeared or were mentioned, and I realized that I've been neglecting Hughes. Guys, you need to let me know when I do stuff like this!

Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist, Toy Story, Legend of Zelda, Chronicles of Narnia, The Goonies, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Mission Impossible, My Little Pony, or any of the songs used.

121.) I will not tell Major General Olivier Armstrong to get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich.

"Look, the name's Greed!" the Homunculus told the Major General and her present soldiers. "I'm going to be leading this march from here on out, so make yourself useful and get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich!"

Olivier's eyes narrowed...In the end, she sliced up Greed more than she did Sloth. Poor guy.

He didn't fare any better when he made the same suggestion to Izumi Curtis...or Riza Hawkeye...or Lan Fan...or Winry Rockbell...or pretty much any other female Fullmetal Alchemist character.

122.) Ed's theme song is not "Sexy and I Know It."

Ed hadn't been the one to come up with it...rather, it had been Mustang's other subordinates, who failed to realize they were bullying the dragon.

"So, Ed, do you wear animal print pants on patrol?" queried Havoc.

"Tight jeans, tattoos?" asked Breda.

"Come on, just wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wig-"

Clap...BANG!

The two second lieutenants were reported missing for three days. When they were found, their faces caked with blood and a few bones out of alignment, all Lieutenant Hawkeye could do was shake her head and say, "You had it coming."

123.) -Nor is Envy's theme song "Dude Looks Like a Lady."

"I still say he's a genderless palm tree!" Ed exclaimed during one session of mortal combat.

"SHUT UP, PIPSQUEAK!"

"AT LEAST I'M WEARING MEN'S CLOTHES AND NOT A SKORT!"

124.) If I am fighting Lust, I will not point at her fingernails and cry out, "Oooooh, the claaaaaaaw!"

After Lust's disintegration, Alphonse sprinted up to the Colonel, a look of joy somehow on his expressionless face...no one could comprehend it. Something to do with art style, but that'd be breaking the fourth wall. "You have saved our lives!" he cried out in almost monotone. "We are eternally grateful!"

And so "You've Got a Friend In Me" played out as Hawkeye and Alphonse tried to prevent Mustang and Havoc from bleeding to death.

125.) Ed and Al are not Link and Zelda as they appeared in Spirit Tracks.

"Come, Zelda, my totally platonic partner who is not my brother!" Ed exclaimed as he placed a pointy green hat upon his head. "We must go on our quest to find the Compass of Light and the Bow of Light in order to restore your body, and then we must defeat Malladus to save the nation by taking trips on trains to various places!"

"Ed...I mean, Link..." Al reprimanded. "You're not supposed to talk that much."

"Oh, right. HUH! HYAH! HEY-YAH-YAH! HUZZ!"

126.) The Gate of Truth is not the door to Narnia.

Ed didn't know what to expect when he had disintegrated with all the knowledge of the universe, but this sure wasn't it.

Gaping like an asphyxiated fish, he approached the snow-laden lamp post with something akin to wonder. As he pondered the sight before him, a sled flew toward him until it was just mere feet away. Inside its bowels was a woman swathed in white, and it was driven by a rather...ugly stagecoach.

"Who might you be, denizen of the woods?" the woman in white inquired.

Deciding he had nothing to lose, he answered, "The name's Ed. And who are you?"

The woman raised an elegant eyebrow, and her expression morphed from benignly if eerily beautiful to fuglier-than-Grumpy-or whoever-he-was-that-was-steering. "Do you know not of your queen? I am the white witch, you fool!"

"...Bull crap."

"Are you a spy of the woodland creatures? Answer me, dwarf!"

"YOU DID NOT JUST GO THERE, LADY!"

Days later, the snow cleared away. No one knew exactly why, but a legend was passed down from generation to generation that a golden haired midget cloaked in red had thoroughly kicked the white witch's pale behind. It was a much loved tale when it came to bed time stories.

127.) I will not ask Gluttony to do the Truffle Shuffle.

Asking Gluttony to shake his belly fat was a VERY BAD idea, it turned out, as it was his second stomach that was quaking, and frankly, the giant crimson eye and the tusks shaking to and fro along with his gelatinous shape was disturbing and far too dangerous to those involved.

128.) I will not train turtle chimeras to be ninjas.

"Stop throwing around words like 'love' and "sorrow." Wrath narrowed his lone human eye at Lan Fan, trying to be as intimidating as possible. Unsurprisingly, the girl did not falter under his gaze. "You know-"

"You!" Suddenly, four green mutant turtles were between the Homunculus and the bodyguard. A turtle with a blue bandana was speaking. "You killed Master Fu!"

Wrath blinked, totally blown away. "...What?"

"Dude, you're a total jerkface!" one in orange jeered, clearly distressed.

Another in red scowled darkly at Wrath. "You're goin' down, mistah." He had an unusual accent, the origin lost on the Fuhrer.

And so, yet another epic ninja fight ensued, with Lan Fan watching over her awesome apprentices.

129.) I will not sneak into Father's lair by Mission Impossible cable drop.

It worked successfully...until the cable locked just as Envy walked into the kitchen to get himself a fudgesicle. "What..."

Edward Elric shot an aggravated look up to the ceiling. "Mustang! Code Tango Alpha Mango Salsa, over!"

"ED! I'LL SAVE YOU!" Far above, the Colonel was tugging on the cable, but to no avail; it wouldn't budge a centimeter.

Envy glanced at the Fullmetal Alchemist for a few more seconds, then he shrugged and yanked his fudgesicle out of the freezer. "Whatever. Fighting you guys would interrupt my TV marathon anyway."

Ed was stuck there for a few more minutes, but, to his dismay, he could overhear Envy singing something about ponies being in his heart and the power of friendship...and his singing was very off-key. Then Gluttony stumbled in and talked about the seventeen different ways he'd cook Ed if he could reach, but it was all in such sharp detail. Then Pride waltzed on in, and his shadows were awfully touchy-feely...

As much as it freaked him out, Mustang didn't want to know why Ed immediately started sobbing into the Colonel's shoulder the moment he had succeeded in pulling the boy back up...

130.) Father's problem is not that he needs a girlfriend.

As a matter of fact, Father's eHarmony profile led him to one woman by the name of Pinako Rockbell. The granny ended up drinking him under the table at the bar.

131.) -Father doesn't need a boyfriend, either.

Afterwards, he went on a date with someone by the name of Garfiel, whom he'd naïvely assumed was a woman.

There were some things the eyes could never unsee...

132.) I will not set Jean Havoc up on a date with an unknowing Olivier Armstrong.

"Sir!" Fuery sprinted into Mustang's office, where both the Colonel and Lieutenant Colonel Hughes were gathered, Hughes shoving his pictures of Elicia in Mustang's face.

Relieved for the interruption, Mustang snapped, "What? What is it?" as he rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"My radio's picking up some distressing calls from a restaurant in Central!"

Hughes immediately sobered. "Is it Scar? Chimeras? Some sort of uprising?" he queried.

Surprisingly, Fuery shook his head and bit his lip. "No...apparently, a man with a cigarette in his mouth was seen fleeing from a blond woman wielding a sword. She was screaming something about neutering and false masculinity..."

Havoc didn't show up to work for three months after that. Once again, Mustang was submitted to the hospital for "laughing too hard," only this time Hughes joined him.

Don't forget about Equivalent Exchange: I write a chapter for you, you give me a review. That's right, all ninety or so of you. I see you. I know you're reading, watching... (Narrows eyes) I will be on you like a spider monkey on caffeine, only without the dopamine to make me happy!

So...which was your favorite? I liked Narnia.