Don't shoot me! I'm not even going to try to list any excuses for why I didn't update because even I think none are valid and I'm so sorry. I'll /try/ to get the next one up much faster, I even already started it and I usually wait until posting to start another chapter. Hope you like this chapter!

Cat's POV:

It's Monday morning and I look out the window silently as my mommy drives me to school. I can feel the leather of the car seat sweating the backs of my thighs but I don't know if it's because it's really warm today or because I'm really nervous. People sweat when they're nervous, right?

I shift in my seat, feeling uncomfortable, but that causes the leather to make a light squeaking noise from under me. I part my lips to gasp softly in slight surprise at the noise, but I hold the air in my lungs as I purse my lips together and swallow hard. I feel a lump beginning to grow in my dry throat while my mind runs wild with the nerves that take over. I lick the inside of my lips and press my tongue to the roof of my mouth.

My fingers bend to curl into my palms and my hands start to shake on my lap. I tilt my head downward to look down at my lap and my eyes fix on the pair of shorts I'm wearing around my upper legs. They are black shorts with the word 'RUN' on them in pure blue letters. I don't usually where much black but these aren't just shorts... these are the shorts Jade gave me to borrow but I never gave them back.

I want to do what the shorts are telling me to: I want to run... I don't want to go to school today or go back there ever again. I bet everyone knows I tear apart my skin to make my emotional pain feel better, but I don't want them to find out I'm a liar. They just wouldn't understand and then I would be rejected again.

I close my eyes and try to picture myself under my bed where I'm safe, but instead all my brain can comprehend is Jade. I can feel Jade's fingers slim fingers tracing my body and I can feel her lips sucking and kissing my skin softly. She slams behind my eyes in a very clear snapshot and she begins to take over my thoughts. I remember the smell of coffee and vanilla again... she's inside of me and I can't get her out no matter how hard I try, especially not now.

I feel my arms tingling. I feel the urge to tear my skin apart... I need the pain; I'm addicted to it and now I'm craving it. I want to drawl another line on my arm and I want to see the vibrant red blood ooze out of it. I want to feel the relief at the sight of my pain...

I feel a hand gather my hands together, but this time I know this is not Jade; this hand is small and warm... it's real; it's my mom's hand. Her hand holds both of mine down on my lap in attempt to stop them from shaking, but it doesn't work. I can still feel them twitching from under her hand while Jade invades my mind as if she's all that's important.

"Cat...breathe, please," she reminds me, her voice just above a whisper.

I can just barely hear her when she talks because there's too much going on in my head for me to focus, but I slowly open my eyes and then remember that I've been holding my breath all this time. I open my mouth and I feel all the air I've been trapping in my lungs finally escape at once. My pulse repeatedly slams against my throat as I begin panting to catch my breath.

"You're gonna be okay..." My mom assures me but it sounds like she's trying to convince herself instead of me.

Once she brings her hand back to herself, my eyes fall on her but she doesn't catch them; she doesn't even glance at me to at least acknowledge me. She just stares at the road while her teeth sink into her lower lip. Her eyebrows tremble as her eyes grow teary, but I know she doesn't want me to see. She doesn't want me to know that she's sad, scared, and disappointed, but I know the truth.

Eventually, the car comes to a stop right in front of the Hollywood Arts entrance. I slowly unbuckle my seat belt, allowing it to slide off my chest, and I lean up in my seat, looking at the car door. I see through the window all the familiar faces I'm so used to seeing every day, but now every face counts because they can all stare at me and they can all reject me. My hand quivers as I slowly bring it up to the handle, but I don't want to open the door, so my hand just stays there.

I feel her small hand press against my back. "Cat, sweetie," my mom asks in a soft, quiet voice. "Are you alright?"

I turn my head to meet her concerned eyes. I just nod my head quietly and take a deep breath then let the air out. I curl my tongue and swipe it across my lower lip then bite down hard, hoping that it would hurt to make me feel better, but it wasn't enough.

My mom's lips curve into a weak smile that's supposed to make me feel better, but it doesn't at all. "If you need anything at all please tell someone, Cat," she says and takes a deep breath. "I'll be here to pick you up after school."

I swallow hard. "Kay, kay...I love you mommy," I say weakly and I lean over giving her a kiss on the tip of her cheek bone.

"I love you too Cat. I'll see you later."

I slowly open the car door, feeling the warm, fresh air instantly slam into my face. The sun shines into my eyes as I hop out of the car. I look at my mom who looks nervous too, but not more than me.

"Bye..." I say quietly.

She just waves in response as I close the car door before I slowly make my way to the entrance. Keeping thought of what'll happen when I walk through the front doors causes my pace to grow even slower, but I continue walking because I know I need to go inside... I just don't want to.

When I get to the entrance my fingers shudder more at the door handle, but I just throw the door wide open, feeling the air conditioning hit my skin. I take a few steps inside, hearing all the noises of people talking, laughing, walking... but I just stand in front of the doors while they close behind me.

"Look!" A voice calls out among the others and I see a few fingers pointing at me. My mommy always taught me that pointing was rude, and now I can see why.

I scan the school and realize everyone is staring at me while some are whispering things to the people around them, but their eyes are all still on me. Why are they all staring at me like that? Why are they all whispering things?

I gasp softly with my eyes wide when I realize my fears came true, they all know I'm a liar and they are all rejecting me with their eyes.

"Hey, little red!" I hear a familiar voice say which causes everyone to look away from me before I get the chance to run. All I want to do right now is run, fast and away from here.

I twist my head to see Andre walking over with Beck next to him. I let out a breath as they each give me hugs, but not firm ones that I'm used to getting from boys... Instead the hugs were loose, soft and delicate like they were scared to break me. I'm broken on the inside, way more than they can even imagine and the pain is too much to handle... but I'm not broken on the outside; my skin may be ripped but my bones aren't broken just my heart and my soul...

"So how does it feel to be back?" Beck asked me, slipping his hands into his pockets.

"Scary..." I answer, the word slipping quietly out of my mouth before I even have the chance to think.

"Don't worry, we got your back." Andre assures.

I nod, but I don't believe it... they probably think the same way everyone else does; they are just better at hiding it and better at acting. They probably hate me for lying, and they probably don't even care... I know Tori doesn't, but she's not as good at pretending as they are.

"If you ever need anything or someone to talk to then just let us know before..." Andre starts, but then he pauses and tilts his head, looking in thought. "Before you um...you know..."

"Yeah Cat," Beck agrees. "Just talk to us; we all care about you."

I remember when Tori kept asking about what happened between me and Jade.

"Cat, if you don't talk to me, I can't help you."

She didn't really care about helping me, she just wanted to know the truth; that's all Andre and Beck want too, but I can't talk about it. I won't.

"Kay, kay..." I say quietly, even though I know I'm lying like I always do.

"Howdy Peeps!" I hear an enthusiastic voice greet.

I look over my shoulder and see Robbie walking toward us without Rex on his arm. I sigh in relief; I don't like when he has Rex with him because Robbie is nice but he makes Rex really mean. I feel like Rex is a part of Robbie he's too afraid to express… Rex is his release like tearing apart my skin was mine, but now I don't have that anymore. I wish I did because I need it so badly.

"Dude, no one says that," Andre points out.

Robbie's lips twitch downward into a small frown before he turns to look at me and puts a smile back on his face, probably to make me feel better, but it still doesn't.

"You're back," he states. Robbie slowly slips his arms around my back, pulling me gently into a hug. He slowly rubs my back but only using his fingertips before finally he pulls away. Again, the hug was so loose and he's treating me like I'm a porcelain doll that he's scared to break. The thought makes me sigh through my nose.

"How are you?" Robbie asks.

"I'm okay..." I mumble, digging my teeth into my lower lip.

"She's just a little scared," Beck tells Robbie.

I am scared, but not just scared... And I'm not a little scared; I'm very scared. But those are thoughts that will just stay in my mind and I'll never let them leave my lips. I can't...some things are better left unsaid.

"Cat, it's okay to be scared. You-"

I let my teeth drag back into my mouth. "Robbie," I interrupt and take a deep breath, letting the air travel in and out of my lungs. "I'll be okay..." I swallow hard, trying to get rid of that sad stingy taste burning the back of my throat, but it doesn't work.

Right after the words leave my mouth, I hear the bell sound throughout the hallway.

*Better Left Unsaid*

Everyone is treating me like I'm a stranger. None of my teachers call on me during class anymore... I've raised my hand for almost every question, hoping I would prove myself wrong, but it hasn't worked. Not even Sikowitz called me up onto the stage to do an acting exercise, and he usually likes to give everyone at least one turn (except the shruggers because they don't do much). He was treating me like a shrugger…

I saw Tori in a few of my classes, but I didn't talk to her and she didn't talk to me either. It really hurts how she doesn't even feel the need to pretend to care about me... I always said to myself that I didn't think anyone cared about me just like Jade doesn't and I didn't think I deserved it either like I don't deserve her, but I never knew if I was right until Tori showed me how right I was.

I was in the hospital, but she didn't act like a friend; she never hugged me or tried to make me feel better and she never asked how I was... All she cares about is Jade; that's why at the hospital all she asked about was Jade, Jade, Jade! I just wanted to forget about Jade...but whether Tori brings up Jade or not, I know I'll never forget her. Jade isn't forgettable, but I wish she was; it hurts too much that her face is glued behind my eyes and in my brain.

I sit during study hall just tapping my fingers against the desk... I just found out I have history project where I have to print and cut out pictures of work by famous artists that have done art from medieval or renaissance time periods, then write facts about each one. I could go into the library to work on it, but I just feel really weak right now with everything I'm thinking about and all the emotions rushing inside of me.

"Hey, Cat..." I hear Tori say softly and I turn my head just in time to see her take a seat in the desk next to mine. I look at her, but all I can see are her brunette locks and the side of her face as she looks down at the desk.

"Hi," I say quietly, my tone of voice close to a whisper.

"So you're back..." she says. Her eyes don't leave the desk as she grips the edge of it in her hands.

I swallow hard and nod... I wish I wasn't back, but I am. "Yeah..." I answer trying my best not to sound like I'm scared or upset.

Tori lets a small sigh leave her lips. "Look, I'm not dating Jade anymore... If something went on between you and she hurt you, then I won't see her anymore." She turns her head, her eyes meeting mine.

I can't help but sigh in relief...

I don't have to see Jade and Tori together... I don't have to see Jade do things to Tori that I want her to do to me. I don't want to see Jade with Tori; I don't want to see her with anyone but me. I want her to belong to me... she has my heart, but I don't have hers and it's not fair. I want her to kiss me, touch me, smile at me, and look at me like I'm the only thing that's important to her... I want her to love me the way I love her... more than anything, but that will never happen. I'm not good enough for her... I'm not good enough for anyone.

"Cat?" Tori asks, pulling my attention back on her.

Tori is hurting me right now... she doesn't really care that Jade hurt me; she just doesn't want Jade to hurt her. She just wants to talk about Jade; she just wants answers from me... Why can't she give up? I told her that I can't... but she doesn't care; she doesn't know how much even thinking about the answers kills me inside. All the pain I felt is like bullets shooting into my heart; I'm already dead, but the shooting doesn't stop.

I keep my mouth shut because I don't want my thoughts to accidentally escape my lips. I prefer to be a martyr; I'd rather suffer in silence because saying it out loud only makes it worse and I don't want people to know I'm hurting. No one can fix me, but they don't want to anyway... I have to admit, I wish someone cared enough to at least try...

I shake my head. No, I'm being selfish; I shouldn't think that.

I press my lips tighter together to prevent my mouth from opening and releasing all my thoughts. Some things are better left unsaid.

"I know something happened..." Tori states when she realizes I'm not going to respond. "Cat, you're one of my best friends... Just, please trust me," she pleads.

How can I be her best friend? I keep secrets because I don't trust her; I don't trust anyone, so all I do is lie to everyone. I act like I'm happy and I act like I don't understand things when I do. But how could Tori be my best friend? She doesn't really care about me... If she did, then she would understand that I can't tell her about me and Jade, Tori would listen instead of ignoring every word I say... yet don't I do that to Jade, the girl I love more than anything? Jade says every word that she says goes in one of my ears then out the other...

I haven't seen Jade all day today; I hear no one has seen or heard from Jade in a few days, and I keep going through every possibility of where she could be or what she's doing in my head. I haven't seen her since I was in the hospital. Tori, Andre, Robbie, and Beck all visited me in the hospital, but Jade didn't. I didn't expect her to because I know she doesn't care... but I wish she did. I wish everything I felt wasn't so unrequited...

I take a deep shaky breath. "Tori...I'm okay," I say and curve a wide fake smile onto my face. But I can't keep it there; the smile hurts my cheeks because of how much I'm struggling to keep it plastered. The lies used to come out so easily; they would just slip out of my mouth and I wouldn't always notice, but now everyone knows my lies... it's harder to lie, but it's easier for the truth to fall out of my lips.

"Are you really?" Tori asks, arching her eyebrows suspiciously.

I swallow hard and force myself to nod. "Yeah..." I say.

"Cat I know you're not-" Tori starts to say but gets cut off when the bell rings.

Saved by the bell...

*Better Left Unsaid*

Later at night I sit, bending my knees, on my bed as I gather the pictures I printed out for my history project. I look at the poster and start to think of where I'm going to paste each picture, but first I have to cut them out. I hold the handles of the scissors in between my fingers as I pull them apart, ready to start cutting out a picture when my mom opens the door.

"Hey Kit-Cat what are you-?" my mom starts to say, but stops when her eyes fall of the scissors I'm holding open in my hand.

She looks at them nervously and swallows hard, shifting on her feet before she looks up, and her face shifts quickly putting a wide, dimple-showing smile back onto it.

"Are you doing arts and crafts?!" she asks enthusiastically. Before I have the chance to open my mouth, she walks over quickly and sits down criss-cross apple sauce on the bed next to me.

"Can I help?" She asks as she gently slips the scissors out of my grip before I can even answer. "I'll cut out the pictures and you'll glue." I know she won't take no for an answer because I know why she wants to help.

She starts cutting out every picture and I begin gluing the backs of them, then putting them onto the poster. I let out a soft sigh as we continue and one word flashes into my mind: Spoons.

*Better Left Unsaid*

"Wouldn't it be cool if we ate our dinner with spoons instead of forks or knives?" My mom asks excitedly with a wide smile on her face as she sets a spoon next to each of the four plates on the table. A soft sigh escapes from her lips and she looks down at the table. "I feel bad for spoons ;we only use them for soup or cereal..." Her lips curve into a frown.

I knit my eyebrows together as I put napkins on the table. "But... but how are we going to eat our steak with a spoon?" I ask her, confused.

She smiles again. "That's the fun part!" she exclaims, jumping excitedly.

*Better Left Unsaid*

I know why she had that idea. Not because she thought it was a good one; she knew it wasn't, but she didn't want me near anything sharp. Ever since I got back from the hospital, she hasn't let me near one sharp tool and she's always watching every move I make. It makes me feel uncomfortable because she's never watched me this much... at least not since I was really little.

"We're done!" she exclaims, releasing me from my thoughts.

"Thank you," I say quietly.

"You're welcome," she says, giving me a big hug before she leaves the room.

Andre, Robbie, and Beck's hugs were loose, but my mom's arms still wind around me tightly. She knows I'm not broken on the outside, but her hugs have gotten even tighter because she's scared that I'm going to leave her grip and now she doesn't want that.

She wants to know that I'm still here.

I start writing facts down for each picture when I hear voices outside my door. I know eavesdropping is wrong, but curiosity gets the best of me and next thing I know, I'm climbing off my bed and slowly walking to the door. I press my ear against the door so I can hear the voices clearly.

"I feel like such a bad person..." My mom's voice says. I can hear the pout in her voice.

"She's just going through a rough time; we'll help-"

"But what if this was happening longer than we think?" she asks nervously, interrupting my dad.

"Taylor, you're worrying too much about this..." he tells her.

"But I feel like I don't even know her anymore," my mom explains sadly. "She's my daughter and I always thought I knew her, but now...she's like a completely different person." There's a pause before I hear her talk again. "I'm scared..." she says quietly.

"Of what? Our daughter?" he asks.

"Yes..." she mumbles and after that I wait for my dad's response, but I don't hear anything else.

I swallow hard feeling my eyes grow watery. She's scared of me... I scared her and it hurts. My mommy is hiding from me now. When around me, she tries to act like I was never in the hospital, like nothing is wrong and everything in the world is okay. I know why she's hiding from me: because she's afraid of me. I want to scream at her to not be afraid, but my voice just feels weak and I don't know what to do, or if I can even do anything but stand here with tears streaming from my puffy red eyes and down my cheeks.

I feel so selfish... Every word she said was all my fault; my actions made her say those words and as much as it hurts to hear her say how she doesn't know me, it's true. She doesn't know me because I lied to her and to everyone else, but I thought telling the truth would be worse and lying would be easier. I hurt her because... I couldn't even trust her.

*Better Left Unsaid*

The next day, I walk through the completely empty hallway while everyone else is at lunch. I keep thinking of last night and how my mom is scared of me and how scared everyone is of me because they all treat me differently. I think of Tori and how she pretends to care just for answers, and I think of how my arms won't stop tingling because I can feel Jade all over me. I don't want to feel her; I want her to go away for a while, and if I slide the razor blade across my skin then I'll feel the relief I need. Feeling Jade hurts too much... it hurts knowing that it will never be real because I'll never have Jade.

I just want the pain to stop; I need my relief, but there are no razor blades anywhere... or anything sharp. My mommy and daddy searched through all of my stuff and they took them all. It's all my fault; I was the one stupid enough to cut myself too deep and I was the one who couldn't forget about what happened between me and Jade during my freshman year.

I remember I hid a razor blade in my locker... maybe it's still in there. I quickly run to my locker which is pink with fake flowers on it. 'It needs to be here, it needs to be here, it needs to be here...' I repeat in my head as I twist the locker combination as quick as I can. I need relief fast and I need it now.

I open my locker see books, binders, pencils, and pens all in one organizer. I reach behind the organizer and feel around until my hand hits cold metal. I gasp softly in surprise because I thought this one would be gone too... I didn't think it would be here, but then I let out a comforting sigh of relief because I'll get to feel better for a little bit before she creeps back inside of me, but that's better than nothing.

Once I close my locker, I walk as fast as I possibly can to the janitors closet. I just need to get in there fast, to get her out of me... I'm speed walking across the hallway, breathing hard with each step, but as fast as I'm going it's not enough, so I start running until, finally, I'm inside the closet.

I don't even bother to lock the door before I press my back against the wall and slide down onto the cool floor. I don't even care that it's dirty. But when it came to feeling relief, I never did because I was too desperate; I needed it. I need it now too which is why I quickly press the razor blade onto my arm. I take a deep breath and begin to press down, feeling the blade break my skin.

Before I can even move another inch, the door yanks open and hits the wall behind it with a loud bang. "What do you think you're doing?!" A familiar voice shouts angrily.

I wasn't fast enough... but the worst part is the voice I just the heard caused my heart to pound a thousand different drum beats just thudding and hammering out of control in my chest. I'm frozen and every part of my body stops moving, except my hand that's squeezing the razor blade tightly as if it could sink into the palm of my hand and hide.

But it won't; it's too big.

I slowly look up to meet two light blue orbs and my breath catches in my throat as I look at her. She looks mad...mad at me like always, but something looks different about her. I trace my brown eyes along every feature that makes up her face while trying to figure it out, but she just aims a powerful glare at me, one that makes me try to scoot back farther away. I can't because I'm already against the door.

I swallow hard. "Jade."

I watch her walk over to me and grab the razor blade out of my hand quickly. I squeak, feeling my relief being ripped out of my hands... She took everything. She took my innocence, my happiness, my heart, and now my relief...Why do I love her?

Because she's Jade.

Her arms cross like a pretzel over her chest and I just wish that it was me snuggled against her chest instead of her arms. I want her arms wrapped around me in an embrace so tight that my skin sinks against my bones; I just want as much as she has... I want all her energy drained down and wasted on me and only me, but that's just selfish of me to want all of her, because I don't deserve any of her.

"Hi J-Jade. Um... h-how are you? Are you good? Where are you? Well now you're here so I mean, where were you yesterday and this morning? I didn't see you in any class and not in the halls either, and I heard that you haven't gone to school in a few days, so I was wondering-"

"Answer my question," Jade demands through gritted teeth which makes me stop babbling.

I was talking so much, but I didn't stop to breathe in between words and I didn't think of what I was saying. Sometimes I do that and I always feel so stupid, which is how I feel right now while taking in short breaths. They become deeper and deeper until I have enough air again.

Why does she want to know? She sees the razor blade still held up to my wrist and she sees that I already broke my skin and all I have to do is drag. She knows what I'm doing...so why is she asking me? Why is she forcing me to say it? Does she think I deserve to break more than I already have? It's too much pain already... it hurts too much and I just want my mind to go blank... But even if it does, then it won't be long before she's creeping back into my thoughts.

"Why...do you want me to...answer?" I ask hesitantly and take a deep breath, trying to hold in a soft whimper. "You know, don't you." I state as a fact rather than a question because I know she knows...she's smart and if she didn't, then she wouldn't be standing here right in front of me.

Jade's jaw clenches, her lips press together in a thin line and a muscle flickers in her cheek. She looks even madder but something about her still looks different. I notice she isn't looking at me, but she's looking above me. I wonder why because there's nothing above my head that's interesting... just the wall meeting the ceiling or maybe some janitor supplies, but nothing else. Then I realize she's not looking above me; she's just staring into space as thoughts fill her mind.

"You know, Jade," I repeat which causes her eyes to look back down at me.

I feel the words begging to slip out of my mouth...many things better left unsaid just begging to be said and it's getting harder to control and to keep all my feelings inside. It will hurt even more to say everything because I know I'll be rejected again; I know I will. I don't want to be rejected again; I can't. It's becoming so difficult to hold all of these emotions inside, to pretend I'm happy because I'm not, which everyone knows since they all know I was in the hospital, but they don't know everything.

I feel adrenaline rush through my body as my heart beats so loud that I can almost hear the thumps in my ears... maybe even Jade can almost hear it because it's getting harder and harder to breathe. I feel my lungs growing tight around my chest. I take a deeper breath, trying to loosen my lungs, but it doesn't work. My lungs are still squeezing inside of me with all the uneasiness and fear, it's painful...

"You know, but...but you don't know...how I feel..." I tell her and feel the air travel through me and then back out, but it doesn't make me feel better. Nothing can fix this pain...the pain that Jade's emotional scar leaves on my heart. This isn't like normal scars because on normal scars the pain goes away like it supposed to... On Jade's scar, the pain just deepens...and it never feels better, only worse. "It hurts so much to...to love you," I admit and I look down at my lap because I don't want to see her face when I speak... her face has too much power over me and too much rejection filled in every single one of her features because she wants me to forget about her, but I can't. "I wish I could forget... I wish that I don't have to feel this way… I wish that I can stop loving you but...but I-I can't." I feel tears blur my vision and irritate my eyes.

My throat tightens as the taste of salty tears enters me and my lips curl, quivering when they swallow the taste. "That night was the most amazing feeling ever... You took my innocence, but it didn't feel like just... 'fucking' as you call it." I frown at the way the word sounds coming out of my mouth...I don't like the f-word; I don't like any curse words, but that one is the worst because Jade keeps saying she did that to me, but...if felt like so much more. I felt emotions and sparks... but she didn't feel any of it.

"Ever since that night when you...did that to me, I haven't been able to forget. I haven't been able to move on because whenever I tried to forget and tried to replace you, I just would compare the way they kissed me, the way they touched me to the way you did, and...you're always the best. The way you make me feel is astonishing because no one has been able to make me feel that way, and words can't even describe it...but it still hurts so much... You made me feel alive, but then you rejected me and...and I started feeling dead..." I inhale deeply into my lungs then exhale as I struggle to hold in a whimper begging to escape from my lips.

"Whenever I close my eyes, I feel your lips everywhere and your fingers everywhere on my body. You take over my body, my thoughts, and my emotions... I want to feel the way you made me feel that night again and I want it to be real, but I want to have you... I want your heart because you have mine, but all you do is break it every second of every day and I just want you to stop hurting me and to stop breaking my heart but I know you won't... I don't deserve for you to because everything is my fault."

"It's my fault that I let you do that to me...I didn't understand; I was stupid because I didn't realize you would treat my innocence like it was nothing and it didn't matter. Back then I didn't know I was worthless, but...but well, now I know... and I let you take over every part of me; I let you take any normalcy I have left because I feel like I'm just crazy now. You're all that I can ever think about; you're all that's important and I never tried to fight, but I couldn't anyway. My feelings beat me..." I finally let out a soft whimper but immediately scold myself when I do so.

This is too much. Talking about this isn't helping; it's only making me feel worse I wish I had never even started talking because some things are better left unsaid...especially this. This is the worst thing I could say, and I never heard the click of the door, and I can still feel her presence in the room; I know she's still here and she's listening. Jade never really listens; she does most the talking usually because she always cuts me off before I can say anything, but now I have her attention... Her attention is on me...and I can't dare to look up at her because I know I shouldn't be saying this.

"It's my fault I started to cut myself instead of dealing with my pain. I'm not strong like you... I'm weak on the inside and I needed to feel more pain to make my insides feel better. I needed to release everything, but even that would only last so long because what I feel inside is so strong that it over powers me..." I feel a tear roll down my cheek and I blink trying to hold the rest in my eyes.

"I want to say that I am sorry because it's all my fault and I hate myself for all of this. I'm sorry that I'm making you mad; I really don't like making you mad... I'm sorry that I'm talking about this now, but I couldn't hold it in; I already have held everything in for these few years...I've lied and now it's slipping from me too easily... I'm so sorry and I'll leave you alone. I'll accept that you don't feel the way I do and that you won't, but...I can't let you go; I can't stop feeling this way and I don't think I ever will..."

I let my words hang there and after a while of hearing only my heartbeat and the sounds of my breathing, I hear a deep breath fill the space between us, then the sound of her boots clicking against the floor. The door opens and the sound of her footsteps grow farther and farther away until the door shuts and I can't hear them at all. I still refuse to look up, but I don't even have to.

I know she left.

So Cat kept saying some things are better left unsaid but then she said them... If you have to choose between reviewing or not, then I think we all know what the right choice is... Let me know if you like this chapter and tell me what you like. It may take me long to update but I will not stop updating. I will complete this story. Up next up is Jade's POV, I bet your all wondering what will happen. Please review, favorite, and follow!