As I sit here, typing, sucking on a Dr. Pepper candy cane, enjoying the peace after a 7 hour car ride from Dark forest I realize we only have 25 days until Christmas. Twenty five days left of stuffing Tigerstar into a big red suit. :O

Elf Rankings

Mapleshade- 8

Brokenstar- 6

Thistleclaw-3

Darkstripe- 4

Hawkfrost- 2

Redwillow- 1

Breezepelt- 1

Scrouge- 1

A Grumpy Dustpelt- 1

Jayfeather did not like the Christmas tree. They had chosen a pine tree near Jayfeather's garden which meant that all his herbs had been smashed into an unusable pulp. Pine needles were scattered every where. It filled the entire forest with a piney scent that was somehow amplified and which meant everywhere Jayfeather went that tree's scent followed him. Circling the tree like a vulture of cheery doom was a train that whistled at random and played Christmas Carols 24/7. Jayfeather wanted to smash it, then throw it in the dirt place. And don't even get him started on what was actually on the tree.

The tree had been decorated with colored baubles from Walmart with other weird shaped ornaments. Some were shaped like animals, others like snowflakes, and some like this weird two leg in a red suit and a beard. Jayfeather had been told it was Santa Claus, that dreaded merry maker of 'cheer.'

Besides the Santa Claus ornaments, there were cat shaped ones. Jayfeather found these ornaments even more insulting than the Santa Claus ornaments. Dovewing had tried to find ornaments that matched all the cats in the clan. Ivypool had said not to bother getting her one because she'd be gone if they kept this up. Dovewing still got her one anyway. Dovewing had not chosen very well. They didn't even look like cats, let alone individuals in the clan. All they looked like was kitty pets wearing red hats and batting balls of yarn and hanging on lights. Jayfeather's alter ego of an ornament was wearing a collar, a collar! If Firestar hadn't already banned him from doing in, Jayfeather would have ripped that tree to shreds.

What else was wrong with the tree? The mother, freaking, lights. Since no one could agree on the color for the lights, they got all the colors available. So the tree was a shining, twinkling, rainbow disco tree. Some of the lights flashed, some were always lit, some changed color, some stayed the same, some were white, some were multicolored, and others were neon. No matter what it was a blinding flare of the reminder of this dreaded holiday. Even though he was blind, in his dreams he could see it, and that was enough.

What else around the clan had been decorated? In the center of the clan Dovewing had set up a Christmas village. Mini Twoleg nests with fake two legs set up doing various actions, like skating on a pond, sledding down a hill, and dancing. Dovewing loved that village. When she thought no one was looking she played with the two legs, making them move and talk. Unfortunately it was positioned right outside Jayfeather's den.

The training hallow had been made to be a Christmas Heck, I mean, wonderland. It was filled with fake snow and fake snowmen and fake igloos. The fake igloos served as a playground for kits but was used by every cat. It was really embarrassing to see your own brother slide down the plastic slide on his belly shouting 'FOR NARNIA!' at the top of his lungs. A hill had been made from the fake snow and cats would sled down it on pieces of bark. This was supposed to be fun. Jayfeather considered putting it down in his 'Ways Everyone is Torturing Me' book, right next to 'Finding out my parents are not my real parents.' As if this wasn't enough, in the middle of all of it a red and green throne was set up with a banner that read 'Welcome Santa Claus!'

Most cats were excited. The queens watched their kits slide down the slide and pelt each other with fake snow and chatted excitedly. The apprentices played 'Who Can Rip the Most Tinsel from the Trees.' (Which Jayfeather may have or may not have encouraged) Warriors went 'Caroling,' which was patrol except with eggnog and singing and had snowball fights. Lionblaze enjoyed targeting Jayfeather during these spars, which meant Jayfeather steered clear of this new game.

Not all cats were as excited as everyone else. Ivypool hissed at all the decorations and did her best to be as grumpy as possible. Twice, she had climbed the big trees, smashing ornaments and ripping out lights until Firestar had banned her. Then she sulked in her den, until Dovewing had decorated the place. Tinsel, lights, mistletoe, The whole thing. Ivypool threatened to strangle Dovewing with garland if she didn't stop.

Jayfeather just couldn't believe the insanity of it all.

I felt like Jayfeather this weekend because we put up the Christmas tree. It involved a lot of screaming, yelling, and broken ornaments!

QOTD: Are you Jayfeather and Ivypool or Dovewing and Lionblaze?

Next year's Christmas Story Title: to revealed on Christmas day!