Sorry for the wait! Not only was this a hard chapter to write, but I have had virtually no time to write it. Thanks to all my reviewers! It always makes my day to read your words of encouragement.

Bella

I slid in to my normal spot in Edward's tree. My legs dangled off the edge of the branch, but I was careful not to make any sudden movements that could cause a loud noise. This was my third night watching over Edward's home. No one asked me where I was going and I didn't tell. Esme was increasingly worried and Carlisle was troubled because I had called out of three consecutive days at work.

Alice was insanely curious. She was anxious to know Edward—I could tell. Her eyes were always on Edward's future, of course, because we needed her to advice us if he were to ever spill any incriminating information about us. I doubted he would.

He was doing his homework at a desk with a sleek looking lap top nearby. There was a crease in between his eyebrows as he worked and his pencil was grinding hard in to the paper in front of him. It looked like some form of math from where I watched and he didn't look too happy doing it. I laughed breathlessly as he erased his work with a furious look on his face.

A cell phone rang and Edward threw his pencil away happily to answer it. It was Danny. He smiled fondly in recognition and chatted happily with her. I squeezed my eyes shut. This Danny, whoever she was, was someone I could never be. Someone who could be a confidant to Edward—and perhaps more. She could love Edward openly and unabashedly. He would never have to fear her. Edward could love her just as she loved him. They could live in peace without her struggling not to kill him on a daily basis. He would never have to be cautious of her. She would never be a monster.

I would always be a monster.

I had been in pain before but this was different. This wasn't my usual guilt and remorse for my past—this was something much more excruciating. Could a heart that had been dead for so long finally break? When had I allowed the sheet of ice covering it melt enough to let it?

I never wanted something for myself—I never actually loved someone…other than my family.

I finally realized it. Love. I was not just protecting him from some enemy or admiring him for his pure heart… I loved Edward.

Although I knew I was growing feelings for Edward, I didn't know it would ever develop in to this.

One would think that now that I had finally realized my true feelings, it would feel like a large boulder lifted off of my shoulders or perhaps even a sensation of jubilance would fall over me but…I felt even more ache. I could never have Edward in the way I wanted him.

My chest heaved and my breath hitched. It was as if I was in physical pain. I leaned against the tree, my hand to my heart. There was no movement underneath my palm. I listened to Edward laugh easily at a joke, his heart pounding healthily in my ears. For some reason, I waited for tears though I knew they would never come.

I sat in that position for a long time. It didn't seem long to me, but I felt the sun set and rise around me. I jumped off the tree with quiet feet. There was a lingering darkness to keep me hidden from any early risers.

My mind was turbulent on the run home. What would I do now? Act normal? I wasn't sure if I could. This love was permanent. It wasn't going anywhere. But, I could. I could leave…I would only put Edward in danger if I continued to stay here. Alice had a vision of Edward in trouble—could that threat be me? His blood was still so intoxicating. I still struggled to control my animalistic urges when I was in his presence. He had blushed in the car a few days ago…his cheeks were pink with sweet, pulsating blood…

Oh, God. Just thinking of it made my throat burn. I should have hunted last night.

Alice's other vision had involved Edward as well, but not in the way I had expected. He was going to be "our friend". This was good news at the time because it dissuaded Jasper from killing him. Now, I'm not sure if it can be considered that anymore. My continued involvement in his life seemed to throw him in to more perilous situations.

I had to leave. What other choice was there? Put Edward in even more danger? I was the biggest threat to him. I could trust my family to keep an eye on him if there truly was something hazardous ahead in his future.

I was pacing the length of my home when I felt a small hand touch my shoulder. I shrugged it off and kept at my path. "You're making me crazy, Bella. Stop." The aggravating edge to Alice's words made me halt.

Our eyes met, they were the same exact amber shade. I saw the hurt in her orbs, "Don't leave."

"Why not?" I scoffed, "What am I to anyone? I am no use to any of you."

Alice raised her eyebrows, "Oh please, Bella. You know you don't believe that. This would crush Esme. Not only her but Carlisle…Emmett…Me." Then she scowled, "And you're making my job very difficult. The choices that you're contemplating… they're messing with the future that's already in place."

"Exactly! It's me, Alice. I'm putting Edward in danger. I have to remove myself."

She shook her head patiently, "Give me a little more credit. I know your future too and it's not you hunting Edward." Alice took my hand in hers, "You can't leave."

Something about her last sentence sounded more like a demand than a request. "Why not?"

"Trust me. You'll throw everything off. This is where you're meant to be, Bells. I can feel it. I see it." Her tiny face was earnest and her eyes were beseeching.

I sighed and ran a hand over my face in exasperation. "There is no right move. Any choice I make, someone gets hurt…one way or another." I thought of how I would feel if I had to be separated from Edward. The following sharp stab inside me let me know.

When did my life become so chaotic? Just a few months ago I had been living morosely through my existence and now I was expressing more emotion than I had in decades. I was feeling more emotion than I had in decades…

"Fine, I'll stay." I had given up. I was obviously a selfish creature—there were too many strings keeping me here and I did not have enough will power to cut them.

Alice perked up remarkably. "Fabulous. I knew it all along." She winked at me—distracting her for a second—while I crouched quickly and tackled her.

--

After Emmett came outside hoping to join in on the fight, Jasper swiftly broke us up. Rosalie laughed haughtily from a window and Esme looked upset until she realized it was more of a playful scuffle than anything else. Alice and I laughed as the remaining tension of our conversation dissipated. She curtsied at me before Jasper escorted her back inside the house.

I let my thoughts settle for a mere moment while Emmett grumbled angrily about missing out on a piece of the action. "Jasper, I bet you that I could kick your ass tonight!" I heard as he hightailed it back inside.

So I wouldn't be leaving anytime soon. Would I have been able to stay away long anyway? It would hurt much too much to be separated from Edward and my family. I sighed sullenly and ran to my room, thankful once again that Alice still picked out my clothes for me. I pulled a piece of grass out of my hair and winced. If I wanted to make it to Edward's house in ten minutes, I had to hurry.

Edward

Today was the day.

I woke up early this morning and helped my mother make French toast for breakfast. She was delighted with the company and by my good mood.

I felt liberated today, I guess. I was going to finally give Bella a piece of my mind. I was going to give her an ultimatum—either she was going to tell me what kind of superhero she was or we weren't going to be friends. It sounds kind of silly out loud…but, I was hoping it would work. Either she was going to laugh in my face…yeah, she was probably just going to laugh at me. What did she care if we weren't friends? Still, though, I couldn't help but be in a good mood for some reason. I felt like things were going to change for the better.

The sound of Christmas music floated throughout the house as my mother belted out lyrics. I laughed, "Keep your day job!" I shouted before heading up the stairs to change.

I was right on schedule and then some. After a quick shower and a reluctant shave (I always managed to nick myself somehow), I changed and waited at the door for my mysterious ride. I stared out the window patiently.

My mother sidled up next to me. "Don't forget your coat, it's getting colder out." She turned to look out where I was staring, "What are you looking for?"

"My ride," I blurted accidently. Instantly I regretted opening my mouth at all.

"What ride? Why aren't you driving?"

I laughed nervously, trying to think on my feet. "Um, something's wrong with it. A friend's driving me to school now."

"What friend?" Curiosity killed the cat, Mom.

I continued to stare away from her. "Bella. Bella Cullen."

My mother squealed like a little girl on Christmas. I grimaced, "Mom—" I knew she was going to get way too excited for this.

"A girl! Is she your girlfriend? What's she like? Have I ever seen her?"

I grabbed her shoulders, "No, she's nice and no. Now please stop. It's no big deal, we're just friends."

Elizabeth smiled that "all-knowing-mom" smile. "You're just being modest. I bet she really likes you."

I heard a small beep outside and suddenly, both my mom and I were reaching for the door. Horrified, I pleaded with her, "Mom, please don't embarrass me. Just let me go, you'll meet her someday, I swear!" I once again cursed the words as soon as they were out of my mouth. That could be a complete lie.

She saw the desperation in my eyes and let go of the door knob. "Okay, okay. Get going or you'll be late." She patted me on the cheek and pushed me out the door.

I practically ran to the car and the words 'GO GO GO!' was almost out of my mouth before I realized I didn't want to sound like a total freak on this day of all days. I saw my mom from the doorstep, watching us as we pulled away swiftly. I let out a heavy, relieved sigh when I was certain she couldn't come outside and embarrass me in front of Bella.

I turned to her; her gorgeous face was lit with a small smile. "Morning," She looked at me curiously, "You're flustered." It wasn't a question. I saw my reflection in the window—my cheeks were a little red. My breath was slightly labored from the sprint to the car.

"I was dodging my mom. She tends to be a little too nosy."

Bella raised a perfectly arched brow, "About what?"

"Everything...My life… It gets pretty annoying." I rolled my eyes at the thought.

She turned to look at me head on. I was initially surprised that she actually took her eyes off the road and then I was shocked by the raw emotion in her golden eyes. They weren't sad, like they usually were, but they were severely interested. She was looking at me like I was some exotic animal. "Isn't that what mothers are supposed to do? Be interested in their child's life?"

There was hint of mirth in her voice, like she was teasing me. I scoffed, "Yeah, I guess. I just always feel like the adult compared to my mother. She's like a cheerleader hopped up on speed all the time...But, she can make a mean meal." I gave her a sideways grin. She turned her eyes back on the road with a laugh, "You're a strange one, Edward Masen."

The rest of the drive was filled with the soft sounds of a classical orchestra. Although I knew I heard it before, I struggled to remember the name. My dad was a classical music buff. On his days off, he used to sit in his office in Chicago with a glass of scotch and Beethoven in the background.

I raised a brow at the choice though—not many sixteen year old girls enjoy a nice ride with classical music on their radio. Another tally for the vampire theory. Maybe I should be a little wary with a possible vampire in such close proximity. I waited for fear to kick in but I only found my heart stuttering as Bella smirked at me.

We got out of the Volvo after we arrived at school. I noted happily that she was walking closer to me into the school than she usually did. Our arms were practically touching. But, there were moments that her face looked pained again. I saw the severe heels she was in and thought of how I'd feel walking all day in those baby's. I'd be in a little pain too.

As we were near departing for class, I felt the words bubbling in my throat. I had practiced an entire speech last night as I lay in bed (yup, I'm that ready for this), but this wasn't the time. I would let the day unfold and when she dropped me off after school I would hit her with my best shot.

I watched her out of the corner of my eye as she glided down the hallway next to me. She was watching her foster-sibling, Alice, wave at her happily from down the hall. I noticed an annoyed eye roll in response before we stopped at my locker. "Alice seems happy," I remarked, watching Bella's face for any type of emotion to read.

Bella shrugged nonchalantly. "She's seems…smug." Her narrowed gaze was still at the other end of the hallway.

"She seems nice." Alice always seemed fun to me—definitely more approachable than any other Cullen. I recalled the muscles on Emmett and stared at my own arms. Maybe I should join baseball; it would give me the chance to actually get in shape.

With a shake of her brown hair over her shoulder, Bella turned back to me. "Hmm…Perhaps. In an annoying type of way." She let out a small, musical laugh. Then, she looked at me again with her interested eyes, "You don't have any siblings, right?"

I shook my head, "Nah…"

Her eyes were still intense as she probed for more information, "Did you ever want any?"

I opened my mouth to respond but the "warning" bell let out an angry ring. I grabbed my books and slammed my locker, "See you at lunch?" I asked hopefully. Sometimes I felt like she was going to disappear on me or something.

Bella was slowly backing away down the hall, "Yeah," She had a mischievous smile on her face.

The roguish look in her eyes made me laugh, "You're gonna be late for class." I chuckled at her continually sluggish steps. Her heels on the smooth floor made a loud and exaggerated clunk.

She checked the hall for any more students—there were none. She smirked at me, "I won't be late."

I shook my head and headed into my class, which was right by my locker. Before I was fully inside the door, I turned to look at Bella again but she was gone. I listened carefully for her heavy footsteps down the hall but there was nothing. I laughed; she was a tricky one.

--

My classes went agonizingly slow, lunch and History went by too quickly, and Gym was more boring than ever. I practiced my speech in my head while we played basketball. It was a little embarrassing when I passed to the opposite teammate. Mike laughed, "Try out for baseball but stay far away from basketball."

I was hurrying out the gym doors when Mike stopped me, "Hey, guess what?"

"What?" I asked, clearly distracted. What now?

He smiled smugly, "Jessica asked me to the dance the other day. I forgot to tell you."

I smiled back, I figured it had happened. "Yeah? That's great."

"Are you sure you don't wanna go? You could come with all of us."

I shook my head quickly, "No, thanks. Not a fan of dances, remember?"

"Right. Well, see you on Monday." He patted me on the back and made way toward his car. "Have fun this weekend," I called to him as I walked away.

Before my foot could take one step Bella's sleek Volvo was in front of me. I jumped slightly, not expecting to see it. I heard a muffled laugh from inside. I climbed in and attempted to warm my hands on the heater, but there was no warmth coming out of it. I frowned, "Aren't you freezing?" Forks' weather had dropped dramatically in the previous weeks. Winter was in full swing.

She fidgeted a bit but immediately switched on the heat full blast, "Obviously, I just didn't have time to turn on the heat yet." There was an edge of panic in her following laugh. Hmmm…

For the next five minutes I ran my words over in my head again (as if I hadn't done it enough this afternoon or last night). Listen, Bella… We're friends, right? And friends tell each other things. This isn't going to work out if you keep—"Edward?"

"Wha—" I looked around us. We were suddenly out front of my house. I snuck a glance at Bella. Her face was amused, "You do this a lot." She commented with a grin.

My face felt hot. Great. "Right, sorry."

She must've seen my blush and looked worried, "What's wrong?"

I stared at her. Her big tawny eyes were boring in to mine—and all of a sudden, every word I had thought of flew out the window. I gulped, "Bella, I can't do this anymore."

"Do what?" I kept trying to read her expressions but they were just as smooth as always.

I sighed, "This," I motioned between us. "If we're going to be friends then… you have to tell me stuff. Friendship isn't a one sided things it's—" I'm drawing a blank. "…two sided…" Smooth, Edward.

I reveled in the small hint of shock on her face. She wasn't expecting this, "What—"

Cutting her off, I said, "I know you're…different. I want to know what or why. I think I deserve to know why." She was silent. "Tomorrow morning. Pick me up at 10 AM if you want to let me in. If you don't then, I don't think we can be friends anymore." I opened the door and got out. As I was about to shut it and turned back and said, "I just want to know you, Bella."

I closed the car door and walked toward my house. When my foot hit the side walk, I heard the sharp screech of Bella's tires against the street. She was practically flying away when I turned around.

I closed my eyes. I expected to feel liberated after the speech—like, finally my cards were all out on the table. I was all in. But, I felt worse. What would I do with myself if she didn't show up tomorrow?

Bella

I sped away as fast as possible. Here I was—running again. This time I wasn't running from saving Edward's life from a bear, I was running from potentially ruining Edward's life from myself.

This was the right thing to do.

Edward's speech must've been a sign. He was showing me the kinship he wanted with me—giving me the ultimate warning that I must stop this before it really begins. What would my friendship bring him but pain?

Could I really even be his friend? I wanted so much more.

Alice had to be wrong. I wasn't meant to be here.

My thoughts were blank as I sped out of Washington. It was safer that way…then I wouldn't have to think about what I was leaving behind.

--

I was gaining on Seattle before I turned around. I imagined the look on Esme's face…on Carlisle's… on all their faces. Edward as he waited for me tomorrow morning. My heart wrenched. I had to go back.

I could lie and say that I was only going back so that my family wouldn't be hurt. But I was more selfish than I was willing to admit. This was more about me than anything else. Though, I didn't want to hurt anyone I loved, I didn't want to hurt myself either… Not anymore.

I wanted all the things Edward did. I wanted to know him; I wanted him to know me. The walls I built around myself were so high—too high for Edward. I wondered if he could climb them…or even if he would want to when he learned what I truly was.

Shuddering, I thought about turning back around and leaving. The reality of tomorrow sunk in—Edward and I, alone. There would be no other scents to clear my head. I swallowed the venom that crept in to my throat. How could I put him in danger like that?

I shook my head; my will was more powerful than I knew. I struggled through many car rides and still succeeded. Knowing my true feelings for Edward, I doubted I could ever actually let myself hurt him.

My decision was made. I was a fool… that was for certain. How did I let this happen to me? How did I fall for a little boy? A human?

"I just want to know you," I repeated his last words to me.

How did I fall for Edward? His heart helped me. He wasn't a normal human… he was different. He was uninterested in the usual teenaged drivel… he was more than that. Although he was still young…there was something very old about him too. More mature than his companions and yet… still fresh and unintentionally funny.

As I was pulling in to the mansion garage, I closed my eyes and breathed in the last of his scent. My muscles tightened and my stomached lurched with a dry ache. If I was going to be alone with Edward tomorrow, I was going to have to be a glutton tonight.

--

I pulled up to Edward's street slowly the next morning. I kept telling myself I still had a chance to back out—but, I knew in my heart there was no way.

I looked at myself in the overhead mirror. Alice set my outfit out today despite the fact that Saturdays and Sundays are the days she usually doesn't bother. Of course she knew what was happening today—I suspect she knew it all along. What was going to happen was something I'd really like to know but she made herself conveniently unavailable today. She and Rosalie snuck off for a day of shopping. I was too busy hunting to hear them leaving.

As I stopped at Edward's house, I saw his green eyes peek from out of his bedroom window. They widened comically. I wanted to laugh but I was not in the light-hearted mood I was usually in when picking Edward up. I was too distressed.

He jogged out of his home with long strides. Edward was quite athletic, though he had almost no idea. Mike Newton and his baseball friends had complimented him on his agility but Edward simply shrugged it off.

Edward jumped in the car but was wordless. He looked at me warily. I stared straight ahead. I was almost angry with myself now. What had I gotten us in to?

"Where are we going?" I asked plainly.

He licked his lips nervously and waved his hands in front of the heater (I remembered to put it on this time). "Go down Route 12 and I'll direct you from there."

"Where exactly, Edward?" I had to make sure I was going to be able to run if I had to.

He was getting angry now too, "Just drive."

I followed his orders and drove past the town, toward the woods and closer to my home. I eyed him with a growing trepidation. Where the hell were we going?

Edward

I didn't suspect the underlying hostility that would be heavy in the air as I got in to the car. Usually, I could barely tell what Bella was thinking and now it was blatant. She was pissed.

I had paced the length of my room the entire night and I was genuinely surprised that she had showed up this morning. Unfortunately, that pleasant revelation was followed by her obvious anger. I was angry that she was angry. Why was she mad?

Her face was in a scowl—a beautiful scowl, but a scowl nonetheless. I scowled right back. She stared straight ahead at the road instead of looking at me. I pursed my lips. If she was going to be silent, so was I.

The air in the car was thick with an uncomfortable stillness. Angry silence. I waited for the familiar place that I had went camping at with Mike and the rest of the gang weeks ago. There was a small ditch I remembered where Mike's dad had dropped us off at.

"Pull over here." I said, finally seeing the recognizable dip in the road.

With a sharp turn, she pulled over and stopped the car. "Where—"

I opened the car door, cutting her off quickly. "Just follow me," I growled.

She let out an exasperated sigh and followed me. I noticed then how very appropriately dressed she was for today—like she knew where we were going all along. Her jeans, rain boots, and fitted hoodie were a definite change compared to her school attire when she was in sky high heels and the most expensive looking outfits. Her hair was pulled out of her face and in a simple looking twist at the back of her head. She looked so normal and yet so not. Even her plain clothes couldn't make her look any less extraordinary.

She made an annoyed face at me and cleared her throat. I was shaken out of my daze—I'm sure I had been staring for a while, again. Oh well.

I tried to remember the path to the clearing that I had enjoyed for a short time before I was attacked by a bear. I thought it would be a fitting place to talk—seeing as things had changed then and would indefinitely change now. I kept at a good pace in front of Bella, who was lagging uncharacteristically. Her thoughts were clouding around her and she was barely paying attention to her speed.

When I was sure where I was going, I sped up and ventured in to the heart of the woods. Bella followed behind unsurely. "Edward, where—"

"We're almost there." I stated cryptically. I'll admit, it was kind of fun to be the mysterious one for once.

We finally made it. I entered the clearing—still as beautiful as it was before. The open space wasn't large but big enough. It was a broad and clear space in contrast to the darkness of the forest surrounding it. There was frost covering the tips of the grass underneath my feet. A rabbit turned and flew in to the tall trees as soon as I took a step. It looked kind of like a meadow now that I think about it…

She left herself in the shadows of the woods, watching me as I stepped out in the center of the clearing. Recognition lit her eyes. She remembered. "Well…"

"Well…" I shoved my hands in my pockets. Where to start?

Bella was still and didn't even look like she wanted to follow me out in the open. I frowned, "Can't you even come out here?"

"Edward—"

I bit the inside of my lip, "You saved me here. That was when I knew you were something more… but, when I think about it really… I guess I knew it all along," I paused, "Problem is, I just don't know what you are. And why…and how the hell any of this is possible!" I clenched my fists, "Am I going insane? You leave me in the dark to actual contemplate these things. I have no idea what to think, feel—"

"Don't you think its better this way? You're not in danger if you stay away from me, if you don't know the real me." She was walking closer to me. Her voice was angry.

I scoffed, "I don't care about danger. All I know is that I can't keep guessing! You need to fess up."

She was before me suddenly, her face was sad. "Is that all you care about? Just figuring me out?"

I was taken aback by the raw emotion in her voice. It sounded like she was on the verge of tears. "No," I said, breathlessly. "I just…" I guess I had to fess up too, "I think I already know."

Bella raised a brow, "Do tell." Anger again.

"I read all the tell-tale signs. You're pale, you never come out in the sunlight," I remembered the heater, "You're never cold…You're superhuman for Christ's sake!" This sounded so ridiculous out loud.

"Go ahead; tell me…What am I?" She ground out between gritted teeth.

I swallowed, "Vampire."

"Are you afraid?" Her voice was vulnerable, the most exposed sound I had ever heard it.

I shook my head fearlessly. I honestly wasn't. "No."

She shoved me hard on to the ground. I fell in to the grass and groaned. It felt like I had just been tackled by a linebacker. Bella stood before me in all her glory, her gorgeous face twisted with malice. "Did that hurt?" There was no sympathy in her voice; it was more of a sarcastic remark. I nodded slowly.

Bella's laugh was humorless, "I barely used any of my strength." She raced in circles around me, so fast I could barely see her. "I'm faster than you…"

Then she was uprooting and tree and throwing it across the meadow. The tree flew effortlessly. I watched in complete awe. "I'm stronger than you…"

All of a sudden, Bella was in front of me again and I was on my feet. She leaned in to me, her face closer than it had ever been. She smelled like millions of sweet scented exotic flowers. Her flawless skin was even more perfect close up and she was just—"And to top it off, everything about me is appealing to you… Perfect." Bella was breathing on me now and I felt myself falling deeper and deeper under her spell, "My scent, my face, my body." As I began to lean in she was gone and halfway across the field.

"I could kill you so effortlessly right now," She cried out, "You've made it so painfully easy, bringing us here out in the middle of no where. I suppose you probably didn't even tell your parents where you were going either." I shook my head in response. Bella choked on an outraged howl, "If you knew what I was… why would you do this?"

I knew what she was trying to do. She was trying to make me afraid… scare me away from her. I set my shoulders straight and folded my arms, "I'm not scared, Bella. You won't hurt me."

Bella glided closer to me again, her facial expression was of indignation. "I've never smelled blood like yours before. I almost killed you," Her eyes pleaded with me, "A part of me wants you dead…"

She was trying to drive this fact in to my brain… that's for sure. I was unrelenting, "And the other part?"

Her anger evaporated. Bella's face crumble, her mask tumbling down with it. I could read her so easily now: the self doubt on her face, the turmoil etched in her skin. She ran a hand over her eyes exhaustedly, but didn't respond to my question. "Bella, I…" I struggled with my words. How to put this without sounding wrong? I was crap at expressing my emotions. "I…don't care about the vampire thing. It doesn't matter."

"Yes, it certainly—"

"It doesn't! If you were a donkey in disguise I wouldn't care!" I took a steadying breath, "I know I said I wanted to be your friend but, I can't just be your friend, I want more than that." That part was quiet and unsure.

She looked at me with wide eyes. I stared straight back at her. I don't know how long we stood there and stared at one another…it could've been ten years or ten seconds. I suddenly felt a cold hand in mine. I glimpsed at our clasped hands and looked at her questioningly. Though her face was still hesitant and uncertain, her eyes were expressing something I had never read in them before: happiness.

Phew, that was a hard chapter. Yay! Almost everything is out in the open! What do you think of the chapter? I know the beginning was a little heavy and kinda depressing but I was really trying to convey how deep Bella's feelings run…I wasn't sure that I did that as accurately in the previous chapters. As for the "meadow" part, I tried to make it similar to the book but special in my own little way. Gimme feedback, I love to hear all your thoughts!