Ranger24: Sorry for the wait. For reasons see my halo parody.
Chapter 9: Training with master Roshi
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Unknown world
Sasuke sat in a very dark corner while orchimaru looked down on him.
Orchuimaru: How about you turn on a light?
Sasuke: I prefer the dark.
Orchimaru smiled and walked out of the room and into a strange white skinned creature with purple patches on his arms legs and chest.
Orchimaru: Freeza.
Freeza: Don't see why you coddle him so much.
Orchimaru: Silence fool.
Freeza watched as Orchimaru walked down the hall.
Freeza: Pedophile.
The next world they landed on was perpetrated by a small island on which was a little house and palm tree. Church landed the pelican in the water. Everyone had woken up before the landing although Caboose seemed a little dumber (If that was physically possible).
Naruto climbed out the back and found an old bald guy with a long white beard standing there working on something around his house.
Naruto: Excuse me?
: Oh good you're here. Could you move that tree over there two feet to the right?
Naruto raised an eyebrow but did as he was told. However he couldn't get the damn thing to budge.
Naruto: It's to heavy.
The old shot up!
: What? Too heavy! Goku have you gone soft!
He whirled around and then realized he'd goofed.
: Oh wrong person. Sorry kid.
Naruto: Hey I'm not a kid! My names Naruto!
: Well I don't give a flip. My name is master Roshi and I train real hero's not wimps.
Naruto: Hey I am a hero!
Roshi: Yeah right you wouldn't last five minutes in the world martial arts tournament!
Naruto: Oh yeah! Tell 'him guys!
Church and Caboose were silent. Church shuffled his feet.
Naruto: Come on guys!
Church: Well you really haven't done anything. We failed to save Wanda, failed to find Sam, nearly failed to beat that copy of the heartless who likes like the one we killed before, and you lost your world.
Naruto: Geeze thanks for the vote of confidence guys.
: Hey master Roshi! Who are your friends?
They glanced up to a see a guy with spikey black hair wearing a orange and black combat training outfit.
Roshi: Goku! 'Bout time! I need you to help me with some redecorating.
Goku: Umm. You really didn't answer my question.
Roshi: Oh these idiots just want me to train them.
Goku: Well how about you train them and I do that work?
Roshi: No you know the rules. I only train those who can get me what I want.
Goku: You mean woman?
Roshi: Bingo.
Naruto: Easy! Sexy Jutsu!
Instantly Naruto changed into a tall blonde girl with no clothes on! Master Roshi had a nose bleed and Church fell over. On the dawn Tucker fell over in his chair twitching every second or two. Then Naruto changed back to normal. Freeza who was watching from behind a tree cursed.
Freeza : Damn! Now how am I supposed to gain his trust by giving him this copy of playboy I stole! Now what am I going to do with it?
Roshi: Okay I'll train you boys. Just put these on.
Roshi pulled out three very large looking turtle shells.
Roshi: There's only two days left before the tournament so were doing the crash course!
Meanwhile at the city where the world martial arts tournament is taking place…
Freeza: Stupid punks. At least I have a chance to finally kill Goku for good!
Standing next to him was a tall blonde spikey haired man with a really big sword.
Freeza: First you win the tournament then you kill Goku. But first you kill the kid.
The man, Cloud, shook his.
Cloud: Sorry but my contract says I'm only to…
Freeza: I know! Your contract says you're supposed to kill Goku but you have to pwn this kid to get to him! A little more blood around won't hurt.
Cloud sighed.
Cloud: Fine.
He walked away leaving Freeza seething.
Freeza: Dumbass can't even keep his cool here, hate to see how he'll do in the turnoment tomorrow. Still he's the best I can get on short notice. Finally I'll destroy Goku! MWHAHAHHA! ACK!
He started choking on something in his throat.
Meanwhile back at Master Roshi's Island.
Roshi: Swim faster you knuckle heads!
Church, Naruto, and Caboose all screamed like little girls as the struggled to swim away from an angry shark while wearing the uber heavy turtle shells. Church had already called Johnson and Tucker about the tournament and they were landing the ship to watch.
Next Tucker, Johnson, and Master Roshi sat on a very large piano as the morons carried it along the bow of the Dawn.
Roshi: Come on boys its only a few more meters!
Johnson: Hey Tucker pass me a beer from the cooler.
Tucker: Sure.
Then they had to read a 20 chapter book in one night and write an essay on it. Naruto got a C, Church a B and Caboose an A . Which doesn't seem physically possible.
Next they had to eat non stop for half an hour, then they had to run the length of the forward unto dawn 30 times, roughly 22 kilometers which I believe is around 10 to 12 miles, they barfed a lot. After that they stopped panting at midnight.
Naruto: How long have we been training?
Church: 36 hours, 19 minutes, 35, make that 36, seconds.
Caboose: I am very sleepy. Can I have a pillow?
Roshi: Okay boy's one last lesson then off to the tournament.
Church: F#k.
Roshi: Boys, it doesn't matter who has the most strength, or who has the most guts, or power, or anything else that might really determine a battle, all that matters is who has the most heart! The most determination! That's what gives you true strength.
Long silence.
Tucker: Kinda gay man.
Roshi: Up yours.
Johnson: Good speech man. Made me proud to be a marine.
Roshi: Thank you.
Johnson: By the way. Church, Caboose, Naruto! Drop and give us one hundred.
Naruto/Church: OH COME ON!
Caboose: Yeah more fun time!
Meanwhile at the arena…
Kin, Zaku, and Dosu landed the spirit dropship.
Kin: Okay remember the plan. We use these sniper rifles to kill the keyblade master.
They all pull out beam rifles.
Zaku: This'll be great I spent five hours last night playing call of duty four!
Dosu: What'll that do?
Zaku: Absolutely nothing!
Kin: Idiots.
Ranger24: So tomorrows the tournament! Can our heroes win and prove they are tough and manly?
Seamus: Twenty bucks says the win easily.
Rolo'mono: Twenty says they lose to Cloud!
Seamus: You're on!
Ranger24: Are you guys gambling over my story?
Seamus/Rolo'mono: Maybe.
Ranger24: Assholes.
Seamus/Rolo'mono: Hey!
Ranger24: Read and review.