A/N: Eeek, this update took ages too, it seems like I'm always apologizing. Forgive me, but since I'm extremely busy with school and everything I think the publishing schedule with be about once a month. ENJOY!

I Promise

BPOV

I pass the phone to Alice and immediately go up to my room without a glance at anyone.

When I hear a knock on the door half an hour later, I call out for them to go away.

When Edward tries to call, I cancel it immediately.

When Jasper comes up to tell me he's leaving, I don't reply.

I know I'm being childish but right now I just need alone time in my room to cry.

The one person I was beginning to count on let me down and I couldn't even talk to my best friend about it. Alice would never really understand. She has known heartbreak but she'd never really be able to empathize because Edward is her brother and that love runs deep.

Two days ago I wouldn't have had a single complaint about my life. Loving family, friends, and fans. Things going well with Edward. The Oscars coming up soon. No recent break ins from stalkers or attacks by creepy ex-boyfriends.

But for some reason Edward was able to get such a hold on me that I was so devastated by this one irresponsible act so uncharacteristic of him.

It wasn't the fact that he went out with some friends to have a good time. It wasn't that he missed my dress fitting. It was all of those things combined with the fact that he made me sick with worry for twenty four hours because of some stupid choice. It hurts me so much that I can't forgive him, but I can't have someone in my life who cares for me so consistently and then does something so extreme the next day.

I live somberly for the next few days, barely leaving the house. I go out only a few times to Starbucks with large sunglasses and hats, trying my hardest to be inconspicuous with Jasper or Emmett in tow. A girl needs her coffee.

I talk to Alice, but neither of us bring up Edward because she knows that if I was ready to talk, I'd be the one to initiate.

A week later, I decide to call him back to discuss things and see how I feel after thinking things over for a bit.

"Hello?" Edward answers, as if he's questioning the accuracy of his call display, not believing it's really me.

"Hi, It's Bella."

"Oh god, love, I know it's you. Thank you for calling. Bella, I've missed you, I know I was stupid but I want to make it up to." He rambles.

"Edward, can we meet?"

"Yes, of course. Where? When?" He sounds eager.

"Wherever, somewhere a bit privater."

"My house?" He asks.

"No," I respond, probably a bit too quickly, "How about that sushi place near me?"

I want to be able to have a civilized conversation without him pushing too much. If we're in public he won't be able to show the affection that I'm not willing to return right now.

"Yeah, sure. Today? Now?"

"Are you busy?"

"No!" He replies, and I can hear him shuffling around, probably packing up whatever he was doing before I called.

"Okay so in half an hour?"

"I'll see you there Bella. Thank you."

I hang up the phone and call down to Emmett.

"Em! We're going out in twenty." I yell down to the kitchen where I'm sure he is, without a doubt.

Half an hour later I'm parked waiting at the side door of the restaurant while Emmett is inside making arrangements for me to come in unnoticed.

"Edward's inside, Bells. They set up a private table at the back, no one should see you unless they pass you to use the restroom. And you can go in and out through here so you don't have to be seen on the main street." He explains when he comes back.

"Thank you so much Em, I just can't deal with everything right now." I thank him sincerely.

"I'll always have your back," He gives me a quick hug from the side, "I'll be at a table near the front window if you need anything."

I walk in, and as soon as Edward sees me, he gets up to pull out my chair.

I shake off his efforts, and grab the chair myself instead. He sits awkwardly back into his seat and puts his arms out in front of him on the table. He leaves them there palm up, not wanting to push me, but making it know that the opportunity is there if I'm ready for contact.

I don't move, so he nods and brings his hands to his lap.

"I wish I could explain myself Bella, but I really can't. I was stupid, and there was no excuse." He starts, but we're interrupted by the waitress coming to take our order.

I order a drink and two types of sushi, and Edward orders almost the same after me.

The waitress leaves but we sit there in silence for a few moments, each waiting for the other to talk first.

"Can I tell you how I feel, Edward?"

"Yes, of course, love, please."

Stop calling me that right now. It isn't fair, you're playing on my emotions. I love when you call me that.

But I don't say anything out loud.

I take a deep breath before I begin, not knowing exactly where to start.

"Well first, I'm so angry. I don't think you understand, Edward. It isn't even the fact that you missed our commitment even though that in itself was important to me, it's that your actions affected me deeper than disappointment. You made me so worried. With all that is going on right now, there is someone after me, how did I know that you didn't get caught up in all that? I want to believe that you don't do what you did a lot, that you're responsible and dependable, but how am I supposed to truly know that when the first time it happens, I go crazy with worry and guilt and 'what-ifs'? I can't feel that way. And I know I might sound like a controlling girlfriend when I say all that, but your family felt the same way too. I know they will easily forgive you, but I don't know if I can accept what happened a move on.

But at the same time, Edward, I know that why I was so stricken with emotions for the hours you disappeared is because of the way I feel about you. I've never been so attached and that scares me because we aren't on the same page. You don't get what my life brings. You don't get that you have to be careful, because if I don't hear from you, I'm not going to assume it was a drunken night out, I'm going to automatically assume that it was a stalker. And I'm so torn between my feelings and the reality that I may not be able to rely on you."

He was silent through it all, taking it in, word by word.

He waits a moment after I finish, making sure that I'm really done this time.

"Time, Bella. Let me prove to you that that wasn't a normal thing for me. Give me time to show you who I really am. That you can rely on me, that I can change to your life, and be who you want me to be." He pleads.

"That's just it, Edward. I don't want you to change. Not for me. I want you to be able to be who you are and not worry about the things that I have to worry about."

Our food comes, so I stop, and resume just after she leaves.

"What happened just made me realize that maybe I'm not in the position to be with someone right now. Not until I'm stable, at least, and the person I'm with is stable as well." I continue, "That's how it started with Jacob. I forgave all his little things until he cheated and that was too big for me to push aside. I'm scared Edward that these little things are going to get bigger unintentionally, and that I'm going to get hurt again."

"Bella, please, you know I'm nothing like him."

"I know you aren't, Edward. You're a hundred times better, and I know that, I promise. I just need to figure things out. Like the other issue of us disagreeing on going public and such. We just pushed that aside, we never decided, that's not something we can just do."

"We'll figure that out - together."

Eventually we would, but it's just one of those other things that shows that maybe we were going into this a little bit naive. Thinking that our lifestyles would just fit together easily like puzzle pieces. But they don't Edward. And I'm not giving up on making this work, I just think that I need some time."

"Don't say that."

"Edward, it's what I need. I need to think things over and figure things out with a clear head." I say, making it final as I get up and sling my purse back over my shoulder.

He gets up as well and gently holds my arm. He turns me around to face him and holds one hand in his and put the other on my cheek.

"But I love you, Bella." He says sincerely, his eyes piercing into my soul.

I say nothing and blink a few times, letting a couple tears roll down my face and onto his hand.

I look down, "That isn't fair, Edward." I sob.

"I know, but it's the truth." He says, releasing my face, but still holding my hand.

I shake my head and pull my hand away, now using it to cover my face so he doesn't see the fresh stream of tears now starting to fall.

I continue shaking my head and I turn around, "Bella, please, I'm sorry. Don't go." Edward says, rattled now, probably regretting his spontaneous decision.

I almost sprint to the back door until I'm outside in the fresh air. I lean against the brick wall and slide down until I'm sitting and now crying into my knees.

Edward emerges from the door, not ten seconds later and kneels beside me. Eventually, he helps me to my feet and I let him hold me against his chest.

"How can me feeling so right about doing this, feel so wrong?" I sob into his chest.

He strokes my hair, "I respect that you need time, Bella, and I'm going to give it to you. I won't call, I won't come by. But promise me one thing, love. Promise me that you won't just shut me out and that one day you'll be ready to talk to me, whether it's good news or bad news. Okay? I'll be waiting, but promise me that you'll call either way."

"I promise." I state simply, looking up at him.

He walks me to the car and promises to get Emmett as soon as he gets back inside.

"Thank you, Edward."

He smiles sadly, as I get into the car and he shuts my door.

A/N: Next chapter: EPOV or BPOV? Who's point of view would you rather see the aftermath of the break up through? Comment to vote - majority wins! xx