This is a short chapter. I think anyway. I haven't checked the word count so... Whatever, all my chapters are short so why would this be any different? Lol. I'm going to try and work on my chapters being longer in future stories, but this one is drawing to a close so I dont think I'll bother. Lol. Well anyway enjoy and the next chap may or may not be up in a reasonable amount of time. Most likely not because I'm not entirely sure of the details yet.

Life... Is shit. That's all it really is. You can't rely on anyone and nothing you do is ever good enough. There will always be people who disagree with you and who hate you no matter what you do. And the most important thing is to find the people who do agree with you, who value the same things you do and can connect with you because if you go around trying to please everyone, everyone will reject you. This is a lesson I learned the hard way.

I fought tooth and nail to be at the top and gain the reverence and fear of the entire school. But it was impossible that I could ever have the entire school. There would always be people who hated me.

I couldn't accept that at first. I was convinced that I was right, as all teenage girls are. I thought that people were being unreasonable when there was nothing they had done to me that I hadn't deserved. But I couldn't see that. I couldn't see that sometimes you have to backdown, that something's aren't worth it. Sometimes, you just have to accept the way the world is, the way human kind is, even it it sucks.

I think the first time I was really forced to notice his was my fight with Ikuto. I wanted to be mad at him, I really wanted to, but I couldn't. I knew he was right. I jumped people before I even gave them a chance. I didn't give anyone a chance to explain themselves before I decided they were horrible people. And because I hadn't realized this for so long, the entire school was turning against me. I rolled over on my bed and stared out into the stormy night as I let out a bitter laugh. That was the exact opposite of what I had wanted. I suddenly remembered meeting Ikuto's sister for the first time and how I had made her so angry. I hadn't realized how horrible I had been to her.

What was with the sudden change of heart? I was suddenly seeing all the bad things I had done to people, he everything was starting to work against me, and it scared me a bit. These whole sudden life changing larger than life moments were always so calming and freeing in the movies.

So why was I so frightened?

I honestly didn't know what to make of this situation. Amu was digging herself a hole that she would never be able to get out of and refused to listen to reason. It was true that earlier in our relationship, I would have just sat back and watched this happen. I had only started dating her because I was bored, but now... It was different. I cared for he and what happened to her and didn't want to see her destroy herself like this. I wanted to help her, but the stubborn bitch kept pushing me away! It was so frustrating, yet understandable at the same time. What reason did she have to trust me anyways? I was probably to her what she had been to me at this point...

But I realized that even if that was true, I didn't care. It didn't matter to me how often she tried to push me away, how much she rejected me and refused my help. I didn't change the fact that I cared how things turned out for her in the end.

So that settled it. I would try one more time. If she still couldn't accept any advice from me, I would go behind her back to stop her suffering. I stood up and pushed the chair away from my desk abruptly and pulled on my coat. I didn't bother with the door - if I used the door I'd have to come up with an excuse to go out for Mom, which I really didn't want to waste any time on. I jumped out the window and landed quietly in the soft grass of my backyard. I would get hell when I came home for this. But as I walked towards the street and turned to walk towards Amu's house, I couldn't bring myself to give a fuck.