Submission for fma_fic_contest prompt #284: Catch in the Throat. Fleshed out a little.

Royai Collection

Chapter 11

50 Shades of Roy

Roy swiveled back and forth in his chair as chewed on the pen cap in his mouth. He looked over at Hawkeye who was still diligently working on her paperwork and then shifted his glance up at the clock. His stomach growled it's protest as he realized it was now 2100. He crunched down on the pen cap out of frustration and the pen fell out of the housing and hit the floor. He quit swiveling and looked over at Hawkeye sheepishly before spitting the cap out. "I broke my pen, can't work anymore."

Riza didn't look up at him, it would only allow her to see how much work he didn't do in the last four hours. "I'm going to use the restroom."

The Colonel frowned as she stood and ignored his attempt to dismiss them for the evening. He looked at the stacks of forms on his desk and wondered where the hell it all came from. He took the small stack of completed work and stood up, hoping that if he proved he had done something he could earn a reprieve and finally go home. He walked over to her desk, put the stack neatly upon her blotter and then grabbed a new pen. Then he smiled and drew a cute little dog on her notepad in hopes of reminding her that her own puppy was in need of some outside time. He added a little pee puddle with the yellow highlighter just to drive home the point. Satisfied he turned and accidentally kicked over her bag.

He bent down to pick up what spilled out and noticed a romance novel on top. He always wondered what was in these things. Perhaps it would make the rest of the evening more interesting if he had something better to read other than requisition forms, furlough requests and damage claims. (Thanks Fullmetal). He went back over to his stack of work and sat down then opted to skip to the middle of the book assuming that's where all the raunchy sex scenes would be.

Riza returned and looked at the drawing on her notepad. "What's this supposed to be? A drowning muppet?"

He feigned hurt and looked at her over the tower of paper. "It's a puppy. Peeing."

She shook her head. "Rebecca is walking Hayate. Nice try."

Roy sank back down behind the paper wall and flipped a few pages before chuckling. He sat up straight and lifted the open book up to show her he had stolen her reading material. He raised it enough that he could still look over the top of the book but the rest of his face was hidden. Then he began to read. "Her nether regions quivered as his calloused hands cupped her delicate mounds."

Riza felt a blush tinge her cheeks and looked down at her bag. Oh no, he didn't...

"Her heart raced as he pulled her closer to his body and felt his manhood pressed against her hip." he snorted. "Manhood. God, who writes this? Toddlers?"

She looked over at him and those playful eyes watching her over the top of the book. His eyebrow gently raised and his dark hair framed the subtle tells of his mischief perfectly. She was glad he was covering his smirk behind that book, she doubted her ability to ignore him if she could see that. His voice was bad enough and there was a catch in her throat as she asked, "Branching out from alchemy books?"

"Curious as to why there are more of these printed annually than any other genre." He returned to words on the page and said. "His intentions were to deflower her, taking her most precious and delicate gift right there in the library...without even taking off his uniform."

Riza held her breath. Rebecca gave her that novel for a reason. She could still hear her laughing about it. Oh God, how the hell was she going to explain why she had that in her possession?

Roy he flipped the page and prepared to use one of his mock girl voices to read the next line. He kept his eyes on Riza and only glanced down to see the line and not comprehend it before he said it, "How dare you take liberties with me, Colonel Mustang..." He glanced down and read that again. "What? Why the hell am I in this!?"

""Sir, you're pretty popular with the ladies and...they all seem to want to take their turns riding Mustang."

"Someone wrote smut...about me!?" Roy suddenly sat bolt upright, his shock overriding his immaturity.

"A whole series." She informed him and waited for the inevitable. "50 Shades of Roy."

"And you're reading it!?"

"Rebecca thought it was funny so she..."

"She read this!? She's dating Havoc!" He stood up and narrowed his eyes at her. "You're reading this?"

"Technically, you're reading it to me." Riza replied.

"If I was going to read you something sexual, it wouldn't be from this book."

She replied so quickly she surprised herself. "And what book would you be reading from?"

"Art of the Bedchamber." He smirked and watched her cheeks flush before he realized he was having this conversation with his Lieutenant and not some girl at a bar.

She was used to covering his ass for him so as soon as she saw him realize how bad the conversation was going she felt obligated to try and give him a way out. "Isn't that the one with the bad translations? "

"It's better in Xingese." He smiled. "However even with the bad translations I think "kitten" is better than "nether regions" any day."

"Maybe we should just call it a night. Apparently I'm tired enough that I'm allowing you to lure me into lewd conversations."

"What exactly is a woman like you doing spending her spare time reading this crap for? You should have men lined up at your door begging to spend time with you, yet you're reading this garbage?" Roy slapped the book shut.

"I believe the last man that told me I was attractive was Barry the Chopper." She said and stood up to gather her things. Then bent down to pick up her bag before going over to take her book back. "And he's more obsessed with finding his own body than mine."

"A criminal..." He muttered and shook his head as she held her hand out for the book. "What's criminal is that you have to hear that from some disembodied soul and spend your nights alone reading some trash like this."

He just had no idea what compliments like that did to her, how she could feel her heart swell thinking that they meant something. She looked down as he dropped her book in her bag and wrapped his hand around hers.

Then without any hesitation he pulled her over to him and just kissed her. No stupid lines, no apologies...he simply couldn't suppress his feelings anymore. He spent half his workday trying to concentrate while he thought about her. Let her shoot him, let her file a harassment claim (Form 315C), he didn't care. Right at this moment, the biggest problem in this world was that Riza Hawkeye thought that she was only attractive to some deranged sardine can serial killer and was having to read romance novels to keep her company. Out of the millions of scenarios that he daydreamed about, he never thought their moment would be this one. He didn't push the kiss too far, just long enough to show her the emotions that fueled it and assure her that this wasn't just some act without backing.

She felt shell shocked. His kiss, his touch, his words all combined to just freeze her in this moment. It lasted briefly as she realized that she had to do something other than stand there enjoying his scent. "The book says you taste angelic...I didn't realize Jack Daniels was an angel."

So this was their moment, the moment that all that tension finally came to something and she was playfully teasing him about it. Damn. Could she be any more perfect? Her hands were on his chest, ever so slightly rubbing him and poised to make the move to wrap one of her hands around his neck. He wanted to tell her it was fine, that he'd love to feel her touch him and take his breath away but he knew why she was frozen in place. She didn't want to torture herself with the promise of something more, anymore than he did. So they stood here, embracing, trying to make this moment last as long as it could because there was nothing but uncertainly in the moment after. He cleared his throat and whispered, "Well you know that old nursery rhyme? Little girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice? Well angels are made of corn, water and yeast. They leave it out of the rhyme because it didn't translate well and they don't want to give any alchemists a list of ingredients for angels."

"Apparently you're not the smooth talking heartthrob these books make you out to be." She said and tried to calm down her heart rate. She looked into his eyes and soft, a pleading expression on his face and realized he was letting her make the next move. That she could move her chess piece closer to him or remain distant. That this moment would be either the start of something for them or a promise of something to come later. How much later? Could they really go one for years like they had been, with just the memory of this moment to keep them going? It's why she couldn't do more than half-heartedly joke about this, she was terrified of the ramifications of her decision. Either one. So here they stood in the moment that would define them from here on out. "But I like this version of you better."

He pulled her back to kiss her again since it didn't end with him being beaten, shot, slapped or spanked. Though he technically wouldn't mind the last one. "I'd like to say I'm sorry, but I'm not. I've been wanting to do that for a very long time. Will you have dinner with me?"

"We can't..."

"Why the hell not? Right now I can't keep my mind off you anyway, what's it going to hurt if we make something of this?" He leaned in closer to her ear and whispered, "It's the book of the month and we're discussing it. Let's discuss it over dinner."

"Will it be warm and moist?" She asked and held her breath to stop from laughing.

Roy bit his lip and tried to keep a straight face, "I thought you said you didn't read these things?"

"I've read cookbooks." She let a smile creep to her lips and he bent down to kiss her again.

"Are we dismissed for the evening, Lieutenant?" He asked as he placed his forehead against hers. "I'd hate to make you late for your date tonight."