Chapter 11 – You've Got to Be Kidding Me
"There must be no work today" said Jim Raynor as a fist slammed down on "Snooze" for the fourth time (Jaina, despite her helpful nature, knew better than to try to assist with this again). "Who volunteers to explain what happened last night?"
Jaina wore the sourest look anyone had ever seen on her—which wasn't saying much compared to anyone who wasn't Jaina—as she waited on the table, standing next to a cereal bowl that came halfway up her shin. She didn't even wait for a greeting before launching into an explanation of the night's events.
"As you're well aware, someone attempted to break into your home last night. We managed to clean up the shattered glass, and while plant growth may not be the optimal solution it sufficed to keep any non-human would-be houseguests at bay."
Nova stepped up.
"We also found this after they turned tail and ran. You should have heard the screaming after…"
She paused.
"We get it, blondie. You don't want to talk about how my snake sent them running like scared terran babies who heard the 'zergling under the bed' story again" interrupted Kerrigan, though more teasingly than an actual put-down.
The Ghost looked tongue-tied, before finishing her sentence.
"…yes. That."
She stuck her hand out, holding a tranquillizer dart they'd pulled from Jake, who other than being a little more sleepy than usual, seemed no worse for the wear after being knocked out.
After some typing on the computer ("Googling" it was called), all came to the conclusion said dart would offer no clue—they were sold by the box on Amazon. It wasn't as if the only place such equipment could be purchased was the local Crook-Mart.
"I'm not calling the police" insisted the player emphatically. "They'd come over here, then I'd have to explain you all…"
"Did anyone determine what the malcontents were after?" asked Johanna. "Or do we only know they wanted 'two things?'"
"The only information we have is what you heard" replied Raynor. "You were the one who got thrown at 'Harry.'"
Big hands obscured face and elbows rested on the table.
"This is insane! What could anyone possibly want from me?"
Two things served to take minds off the attempted burglary. First, Brightwing fluttered around like a very large, green butterfly, demanding to be "let outside."
Malfurion explained that while he'd done the best he could, "a few small critters got in. And our fey friend here had herself some nighttime snacks."
"Please let Brightwing out! Many…things…must be eaten!"
"You do resemble a small bird. I guess if you stay in the yard… Someone keep watch on her!"
With their large roommate seemingly in a better mood, Valla hopped up next to Nova and Raynor, followed by a new Hero.
"I suppose we are long way from Sanctuary and Arreat."
Shrugging huge shoulders, the player remarked "This is undoubtedly magic. I definitely didn't paint you…"
"What is my purpose here?" demanded Sonya, wandering Barbarian. "There is only one demon. Who I cannot kill no matter how many times I drive my blades through his chest!"
She sounded almost disappointed by this. Upon receiving an explanation (mostly from Valla), Sonya confessed that "This whole thing makes no sense."
"Why did you put Sonya in the chest?"
Raynor gave the player a "you have got to be joking" look.
"Now hold on a minute. You were going on and on about how you put all this work into us—Nova's hair took two days!—and then you assemble this Sonya without so much as a drop of paint? Seems like you were gonna put her there yourself!"
No response.
"So even though we nearly killed you, you still want more of us, huh?" asked Nova.