A Long Way From Here
11
"Discretion?"
Sonny fought the urge to bury her face in her hands. Maybe they should have had this conversation two days ago before they'd spent forty-eight hours in various states of undress and mostly making love. It would have been much better coming then than now when they were in the back of a cab on their way to set.
"Explain?" His voice wasn't demanding or even annoyed, for which Sonny was eternally grateful.
She spread her hands in entreaty. "I mean just… not… Fuck, I can't say this right." He was silent for a long minute as she sat there trying to disappear into the seat.
"You don't want to tell anyone." It was a statement, not a question; Sonny hating the accusation she swore she could hear in his voice.
"I just want you to myself. I don't want to share you," she said helplessly.
She expected recrimination. What she got was a fairly wide smile.
"I actually feel the same way, Sonny," he told her and Sonny breathed a sigh of relief. He leaned forward and kissed her gently. "I'll take you on any terms I can get, sunshine, and be grateful for it."
It saved her from having to tell him the rest of her reasoning—that she didn't want their relationship impinging on the film. God, what a nightmare that would be. It was no secret back in the States that they'd had something of an unfriendly relationship. It had been popular in Sharona's gossip column until she'd disappeared, and how Marshall had stopped any reports on her leaving So Random Sonny might pay good money to learn. Though Marshall would most likely tell her at the drop of a phone call. She made the mental note to call him later just to say hi, and to finally return Tawni's last voicemail that had come while she was busy having her own wicked way with Chad.
But, and it was a huge one, that kind of publicity while generating interest, could easily overshadow the movie. And that couldn't happen. Owen was talking about premiers, it was going to be a worldwide theatrical release. The last thing they needed was drama making it take second seat to them. And god, Sharona was more than capable of doing that.
She knew if she told Chad he'd understand that reasoning, but Sonny was loathe to do that because she honestly didn't want to bring the relationship out into the open. She really did want him all to herself. Without the stares and giggles and innuendoes and double entendres that would be inherent, especially when so many costars got into relationships that didn't ever seem to last.
And Sonny didn't want that.
If she were completely and perfectly honest with herself… She was falling for him.
She knew, could easily admit now that she'd been half in love with him when they were younger. If it hadn't been for the fact that she spent all of those years arguing and fighting with him she might have realized it sooner. If she'd listened to her mother, sooner than that. But denial is a wonderfully terrible thing and Sonny was pretty sure if she hadn't somehow tumbled into his bed two days prior she might never have really realized it.
She did now. It was the most painful, most wonderful thing. When he looked at her she could see so easily how she was obviously the only thing he saw. She had been, Sonny knew now, since she'd arrived, even if the initial meeting had been completely fucked by the rain and his missing picking her up at Heathrow.
She found she didn't mind so much anymore. In fact, it was really rather endearing thinking back on his completely shocked and appalled realization that she'd been forgotten, however unintentionally. It could even be an inside joke one day. Not now, though; it was too soon into—whatever this was between them. She wanted to say relationship, but she wasn't sure of it yet.
She remained distracted as they were delivered to the shoot. It was only going to last a couple of hours and then there was going to be a potluck at someone's house. Chad was carrying their endeavors for her since she'd gone with one of her mother's hearty stew recipes. It was fitting for the weather since it was getting colder out every day. Thank god she could warm up in between takes otherwise she might have froze the first hour.
It was good though, there weren't that many things left. The next week would be devoted to the relationship scenes. She was a little nervous about those, but only because she didn't want anyone to see the new easy familiarity between her and Chad. She was being far too protective over it, she knew, but Sonny couldn't help it.
"You've been thinking hard today, Allison. Have any mind left?" Owen asked her as he sidled in with a cup of coffee extended. She took it gratefully and shrugged.
"Just thinking about things. Life. Important things I could probably wait on," she told him as vaguely as she could.
He made a low noise in his throat as he sipped his coffee. "Ah, Coop then, I expect. It's good to see the two of you getting on so well."
She flushed and took a hurried gulp of the dark brew, grimacing as it burned its way down.
"You don't do a good job of hiding it, either of you," he teased gently. She flushed again but said nothing. "Of course if you didn't disappear with him twice today I doubt anyone else would notice it. He's a good actor."
He paused. "You're just as good, you know."
"Thanks," she said softly, her fingers wrapping around the mug.
"He told me about the row you two had."
"Row?" she inquired, unfamiliar with that particular slang. At least in its British vernacular. The only rowing Sonny was familiar with had to do with boats and paddles.
He smiled down at her, green eyes twinkling. "Fight. Argument. Like that, you see?"
"Oh. When? Today?"
Owen gave her a graceless shrug. "Last night on the phone, actually. He said, if I recall it aright, that he wanted to warn me in case someone else gave you the wrong impression."
"Oh god," she muttered, this time ducking her head against the embarrassment.
He waved a hand carelessly as he took another sip of the warming coffee. "Nothing to be embarrassed about, I know something of the bad blood you and he had in years past. I did, however, want to reassure you about your being hired on."
"If I kill him for talking to you about this are you going to be annoyed?" Sonny asked him in all earnestness. "I swear I never meant for you to hear about this. It's just hard to… let it all go. Well, it was."
"Ah, not anymore. That's good." Owen sighed a little. "I took his suggestion is all, Allison. I had business in New York already or I might not have interviewed you at all. But you won this part on your own merit. He just recommended I check your ability out."
Sonny shifted uncomfortably. She hated the feeling that Owen felt the need to reassure her. She hated more how much the reassurance felt in receiving it. Chad might have had no business taking it to Owen, but she could forgive him for it. After giving him a good talk about keeping their private affairs exactly that: private.
"So you and Chad, huh?"
The old habit of chewing her lip reared its head and Sonny made the mental note to have her makeup checked before she went back on set. "I swear it won't interfere with the performance, Owen."
"Never said it would," was his airy reply. His voice turned a little more serious after that. "I can't blame him. I fancied you when we first met. But Coop had a much prior claim."
His easy admission made her glance up, startled.
"Oh, it's nothing really," Owen said. "You're a beautiful woman, talented and funny. Any man would be lucky to have you. I could almost envy him, were it not for the fact that there's no chemistry between us."
"Should I say I'm sorry?" she asked hesitantly.
"Not at all, Allison. Not at all. I just wanted to give you my blessing, as it were. Though I know you want, how did you put it? Discretion. That's the word."
"He told you that? Of course he did," she replied sourly at the amused look on his face.
"We're friends first, business partners second, and director and actor last. I prefer it that way." Hearing it explained made perfect sense to Sonny, even if she was still a little put out that her one request had made it to Owen's ears within hours. "Don't be too cross with him alright? He just wanted to make sure I wasn't surprised during filming."
She sighed. "Alright, alright, he's off the hook. For now."
The smile Owen gave her as he drifted off to order the extras around didn't make her feel any more charitable towards Chad, but Sonny was pretty sure she could live with that. After all, Owen was Chad's best friend. She knew she was reading it right, and she was pleased to have his approval for the relationship. Funny how she'd stumbled across that word not very long ago. Now it was just the thing to call it.
xXx
The week of shooting passed quickly in Chad's opinion, which was all to the good. There had been no major issues on set, nothing to make anything an issue, and they were fast approaching the final day of shooting before they went to Wales for the last week of the movie. And, Chad was most pleased with the last, he'd managed to all but convince Sonny to move into his own room. Most of her clothes were there, her toiletries were now scattered on the counter in his bathroom, and her smelly soaps and shampoos cluttered the shower.
Not the tub, he already had enough clutter there of his own, the imminent hint that he wanted to join her there. But so far she hadn't agreed. That would change tonight once the day's filming was wrapped. He'd get her home, feed her, and soothe her into the warm scented water to join her. He may have had ample opportunity to join her in the shower but somehow it wasn't the same.
Not that he didn't like the feline way her eyes slitted closed when he convinced her to let him wash her hair. Now that had been an experience in eroticism. It had led to them being very late for shooting, but Owen had covered willingly. It was good of him, too good knowing now that Owen had been interested in Sonny. But Chad refused to feel guilt over that. Sonny was his, finally, and nothing was going to take her away from him if he could help it.
Now all he had to do was convince her of the same.
He shrugged into the leather coat for the scene, returning his focus to his job and vocation. "So you want me to fling it down?" Chad asked Owen to double check his instructions. There had been minor changes to the way scenes were set as they shot, and this was one of them. They'd already filmed it three times in the original version, but Owen wanted more drama.
Chad could give it to him. After all those years on Mackenzie Falls he should be well able to. That show was based on drama. Bad drama, but the teenaged audience fed on that like a drunk on alcohol, so Chad wouldn't point fingers. Especially since he'd netter a couple of his own Emmy's for it.
"We want passion, anger, fire," Owen was explaining as he headed back to the set. "It needs to bring the audience to their knees. I want no dry eyes in the house."
Chad grimaced as he chuckled. "I could just slit my wrists on camera. That should be good for a tear or two."
Owen rolled up his copy of the script and batter Chad upside the head with it.
"Coop, quit being an arse."
Chad laughed outright as he smoothed his hair back down. "Yes, master."
"And don't you forget it."
The scene was set and Owen called it the moment Chad hit camera range. The strangest thing about it all was talking into a dead cell phone, trying to gauge the timing of the nonexistent conversation. He'd always hated that part, but most productions outside of major studios didn't care to carry the cost of active conversation rolled over into a price on cellular minutes. Chad could deal though, it wasn't as if it were his first time.
"Look, he told me exactly how he felt about it and I really don't feel the need to give up my life here to go back to his house and his rules," he said into the phone with heat. He recited the reply mentally as he strode across Colin's apartment and damn near threw his keys down on the table.
"No," he said just as forcibly. "No! Mom, you have to understand. I have a life here. And it may not be living off of a trust fund, but it's not like I'm in dire straits."
He snorted and started emptying his pockets. A wallet, a few pound notes, some loose change. This time the mental recital went slower because he knew that Colin's mother was to be cajoling her son into returning home. On a sudden urge he pulled the phone away from his ear and closed his eyes, pressing his fingers to either side of the bridge of his nose. It was a universal sign for impending headaches, which Chad thought might lend itself to the tone of the scene.
He could practically feel the vibes of approval from Owen as he pulled the phone back to his ear. "Mom, I'm not coming home. You called me, remember? There's no reason for me to leave and I sure as hell doubt Dad's going to try and give me one."
He paused as he turned back towards the couch and coffee table. "No. I'm sorry. I love you, Mom, but I can't." Another pause, drawn out a little longer. "I know. Alright, I'll call you. I promise. I promise." The urge to throw in an adlib about being a terrible son tickled his tongue, but Chad held it back. It had no place in the scene, not unless he wanted to make it too melodramatic.
"Yeah, I love you. Bye, Mom."
On cue he flipped the cell phone closed and dropped it to the coffee table as if it were burning his hand. Then came the added intensity Owen want, shrugging the coat off roughly to throw it with violence at the empty couch. He followed it down on an angry sigh.
"Damn it. Just… damn it," he muttered dropping his head forward into his hands. Chad held the pose for a moment until Owen cried cut.
"Brilliant. Fucking brilliant. I told you it would work a charm," Owen chortled at him. "That's going to print. I think we're wrapped for today, people."
Packing up went quickly and before the sun had set Chad had Sonny tucked under his arm and walking back to his apartment. It had taking some cajoling, but he'd convinced her to brave the elements for it. And besides, it gave him a chance to show her London as he saw it. Home.
"I liked watching you today," she told him as they crossed a street, dodging pedestrians going the other way. "It was educational, too."
He chuckled. "I could say the same watching you. You've got a great knack for drawing on your own life to give more emotional value."
She blushed prettily and snuggled in closer to him. He let her, they were both cold. "We'll be home soon enough, Sonny. I'll get you warm then."
She pulled away laughing, aiming a smack to his arm. He rubbed it aggrieved. "My Sonny is so cruel to me," he teased her before pulling her close again. He chuckled again. "Come on, sunshine, let's get moving."
"Why do you call me that?" she asked after another block of him pointing out random places that he'd visited. "Everyone else calls me Allison but you still insist on calling me Sonny."
"Do Nico and Grady and Tawni and Zora call you Sonny?" Chad asked her pragmatically.
"Sometimes," she said with a flounce of her hair, a difficult thing considering most of it was buried under his arm.
"And why do they do that?"
"Because they're my friends and that's how they've always known me," she muttered. "I tried making them call me Allison all the time. They all laughed at me and called me Sonny with every sentence for weeks."
Chad hid the sudden hurt quickly. He knew she hadn't meant that he wasn't her friend, too. He knew logically that it was simply because she'd never really lost touch with her old cast mates. But it still stung, even if she hadn't intended it that way.
"I'm your friend, too, even if we didn't speak for five years," he told her as he turned them down another street.
She sighed and he felt one of her hands come up to slip her slim fingers through his where his own hand dangled from her shoulder. "I know we're friends. It's more that I was trying to shed the 'Sonny Monroe' image. It's a stupid nickname. Allison sounds more mature. But you still haven't answered my question."
"Oh, look. That's one of my favorite pubs. They do one pound pints every Wednesday night," he pointed out with his free hand.
"Chad," she said, annoyed. He chuckled.
"Alright, alright," he gave in with a faint smile. "Come on, out of traffic. I'll tell you."
When they were safely out of pedestrian right of way he did, swinging her around so she could look up at him with her dark brown eyes. He pressed a kiss to her forehead and another to her lips.
"When you smile you light up the entire room. It's like sunshine, a single smile from you can make everyone else who sees it smile," told her softly, ignoring everything else around them. "Me included. It's one of my favorite things about you."
Her eyes darkened for a moment and then her hands were cold on his cheeks pulling him down for a kiss. It was all he could do not to tell her how much he loved her right then. There was time enough for that.