Chapter Eleven
The other side of the river was decidedly different from the lush forests Jaina and Ganner had been slashing their way through for days. Although the banks were very much covered in the same type of shrubbery and annoying vines as the previous side, once the Jedi passed through about a mile of this, they encountered a sudden change in the landscape. The bushes had all morphed into tough, brown grass, the trees no longer anything but small stumps with a few leaves here and there. Not too far in the distance, Jaina could see large mountains springing up out of the ground, each of them snow covered and looking rather foreboding.
"Great," she muttered as she trudged along behind Ganner. "No one told me I was going to have to climb a mountain."
"Hmm," Ganner replied, stopping suddenly and glancing around. Jaina nearly walked into him--instead, she stopped quickly and placed a hand on his back to steady herself. She caught herself leaving it there longer than necessary, and silently cursed. But Ganner didn't seem to have minded. He continued, "I don't really want to climb mountains myself." He rubbed his chin with his hand and turned to face Jaina. "Maybe there's another way around."
"Would we ever be that lucky?" she asked, sarcastically. He shook his head no. "Yeah, didn't think so," she mumbled.
Ganner smiled. "We are going to freeze," he said, reached out and touching the flimsy jump suit she had been wearing for most of the trip.
"Didn't you bring your mittens?" Jaina scoffed, reaching into her bag. She didn't pull out mittens, though, just her Jedi robe. "These should keep us fairly warm," she added, pulling her dark, heavy cloak around her shoulders and securing it into place. "Or at least, I hope they will."
* * * * *
The robes were warm enough for the Jedi, who hurried quickly through the snow that proved to be not that deep. Every time they stepped, however, they had to be careful not to crush the tiny, camouflaged, bunny-like creatures that liked to hide in the snow. At one point, Jaina bent down to touch one that looked like it could use some help getting freed from the ice. Once it had scurried away, Jaina stood up, and was promptly met with a snowball to the back of the head.
"Ouch!" she yelped, rubbing her neck and glaring at Rhysode, who was trying to look as innocent as possible. "You're going to pay for that, buddy!"
She scooped up a handful of the white powder and began to mold it when she was hit with another snowball. "Ok, I am pissed now," she muttered, leaping at him. He tried to duck, but she caught him mid-waist and tackled him to the ground. Pushing is face into the snow, she laughed and struggled to keep hold of the much stronger Jedi.
Ganner yelped at her and flipped over quickly, trying to pin her into the snow. Jaina struggled and flipped over. She was now facing him, and he was lying on top of her. She wiggled again, but he didn't move. Jaina's eyes met Ganner's--his looked like liquid ink, melting and shifting and sucking her in. She blinked, and he let go of her arm, reaching forward to brush a piece of snow out of her hair. Jaina remained unmoving, enjoying the warmth of his body pressed up against hers and not knowing entirely what she was doing. She thought he might kiss her, and she knew that she couldn't resist.
Then the moment was over; Ganner stood up and brushed the snow off of his robe. "We had better get moving," he said, turning away. "We need to find a place to sleep before nightfall."
* * * * *
Jaina didn't speak for the rest of the afternoon. Her insides were churning, and she was thoroughly confused. During the moment in the snow, she had been so sure that Ganner wanted to kiss her, and she would have let him. But then he had suddenly stopped, and now she too doubted the feelings she had had. Would she want to be with Ganner? She'd thought about it once, briefly, a few years ago. She'd had what she thought was a childish crush on the handsome Jedi. And they'd always been very flirtatious together, but that was always just the nature of their relationship, she had thought. Now she was wondering about whether this was true, or if there really were feelings underneath it all.
"Over there," Ganner pointed, snapping Jaina out of her musings. "See that cave? Let's go check it out."
It was beginning to get dark, and the air was growing colder. Jaina's skin began to shiver underneath her robes. She hastily followed Ganner over the next small hill and scurried upward behind him toward the mouth of a dark cave. Ganner poked his head inside, and said quietly, "I don't sense anything in there, but have your saber out just in case."
Jaina nodded and snapped her lightsaber to life. Ganner did the same, and she followed him into the cave, her senses on high alert.
The cave was much smaller than she thought it was, and there was just enough room to stand straight up. Ganner was having a harder time, having to duck so as not to hit his head on the jagged ceiling. The light of their sabers lit the open room. In the back corner was what appeared to be an abandoned nest of some sort. Ganner kicked at it, and a small white "snowbunny," as Jaina had nicknamed the small creatures, bounded out and into the night.
"We can use this to make a fire," Ganner said, pulling some of the brush forward and holding his saber to it. It sparked and began to burn brightly. Jaina dropped her pack onto the floor of the cave and headed towards the warmth of the fire. It felt wonderful on her small hands, which were now numb and barely moving from the cold.
Ganner moved to stand next to her, holding his hands out over the fire too. "So..." he said, looking around. Jaina glanced up at him quizzically. Ganner didn't respond; instead, he shot her a roguish grin that nearly made her heart melt.
Ganner turned and set out his blanket, sitting down on it and crossing his legs. He pulled out some ration cubes, and handed a few to Jaina. Ganner patted the blanket next to him and said, "Sit. Eat. Relax."
Jaina smiled and sat down, gratefully taking the food from him. She hadn't realized how hungry she was until she began to eat. She glanced up at Ganner, who was looking at her intently. "What?" she questioned.
"Nothing," he said, and then after a moment, "Well, not nothing. It's just that...I don't get it."
"Don't get what?" she asked, turning to face him.
"How Kyp could have resisted you."
Jaina felt her face turn red and her blood begin to boil. "Rhysode, I told you not to bring that up!" she shouted, turning away from him.
"I didn't mean it like that," he said, placing a hand on her shoulder and turning her to face him.
"Well, then, what did you mean?" she asked harshly, looking over her shoulder and glaring at him. "Huh?"
"Never mind," he muttered and released her shoulder.
"I've never met someone in my whole life who was as interested in my personal life as you are!" she exclaimed, turning to face him again.
'Maybe there's a reason for that,' he thought, and knew instantly that Jaina had heard the thought as well. Her eyes softened, and she examined his face the same way as a small child would examine a puppy for the first time.
"Why are you so interested?" she questioned softly.
Ganner shrugged and threw another piece of brush onto the fire.
Jaina sighed. This was not going to be easy. "I haven't told anyone about me and...Kyp," she stated, averting his eyes as he leaned back onto his elbows. "Not even Jacen really knows. Though I assume he's had his suspicions... Part of the reason is...well, I don't like to go back to that time in my life. The Dark Side...still frightens me more than anything."
Ganner didn't say anything, but thought to Jaina, 'It's okay, you don't have to go on.'
But the gates had already opened, and Jaina couldn't stop herself from telling her story. It felt so good to finally have someone to share it with. She'd held her emotions inside for so long.
"It all started when..." she began, and Ganner listened intently as she told the story of her...encounters...with the Jedi Master.
* * * * *
When Jaina was through, Ganner did nothing. She looked at him, confused. Was he upset with her? Ashamed? Did he think it was amusing? For the longest time, he didn't say anything, just stared into the fire, unmoving. At last, the weight of what she had just told him hit, and he rubbed at his face.
"I had no idea," He said simply.
Jaina smiled, feeling a sudden release of tension and emotion and everything else that was inside of her, and she wanted to stand up and shout, feeling suddenly free. Ganner could sense the overflow of emotions through the Force, and smiled back. "Thank you for letting me share all of this with you," she said quietly.
"Thank you for sharing it. And...I'm sorry."
"For what?" Jaina asked, confused again.
"For everything," he continued. "I'm sorry that I was never there for you through all of this."
"But you were," Jaina said matter-of-factly. "All of the Jedi were. Otherwise, I may never have come back."
She leaned towards him, and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. "Thank you," she said again, standing. Jaina walked to her pack, rolled out her sleeping bag, and climbed in. "I'm tired. You should sleep too," she added. "Goodnight."
Jaina pulled her bag up over her head, and slapped her hand over her mouth. 'What have I just done? Did I really kiss him?' she thought, her eyes wide.
Ganner simply sat, unmoving again, wondering about what might happen next.