I'm baaaaack!

I've also fixed some tiny things for previous chapters (my God how could I have miss-spelt that?), so there should be less typos and some sentences have been modified to make better sense. Also eidetic memory :D

Okay, I'm not promising anything, but whenever I have the time, I *might* do a chapter. Like now. It's short, but at least I ain't dead, right? :D

SPOILER (read only if you've seen all episodes "up to and including coitus"): Hooray, Leonard and Penny broke up! How I waited for the day when salvation would come..or something. Sheldon's new girlfriend (? We'll see) is not as much of a problem for me, as I think it will be quite humorous to see her interact with Shelly (unless they cop-out the whole thing and she is a no-show on the 4th season).

Back to my story:

I want them out of this hospital. Seriously.

The Chocolate cake disturbance

3pm, Huntington hospital:

Rick watched as Penny stormed by him. She seemed to be headed to the hospital cafeteria. Her expression indicated that she was not to be messed with nor spoken to at that particular moment, so Rick didn't bother going after her to see if she needed company. He put his forefingers on his temples and tried to relieve his headache by massaging them.

Is this apartment really worth all this? He thought to himself. Hm, I'm a 25 year old waiter who's saving up to do-I don't even know what. Yeah, what's a little plotting to get to live in a sweet apartment with nice neighbors?

He felt a new weight on the bench, and looked to his left where he was greeted by Leonard's gaze. The scientist seemed to have trouble forming a sentence that would make sense. He began many times and coughed and gasped, but nothing came out. Right when Rick was about to say something to put him out of his misery, Leonard said:

"Okay, here's the thing. We're both a part of Penny's life. I used to date her, but you are with her now and that's not going to change, so we might just as well get along with each other."

A passer-by wouldn't have even seen Rick's eyebrows because Leonard had made them say 'buh-bye' to their owner. Oh. HELL no.

"So, I think we should try getting to know each other a little better. Try to find something that we both have in common and work from that. Are you uh- on board with this? Do you think it's ah." Leonard's voice trailed away as he was looking for a reaction from Rick, who was looking back at him, remembering quite clearly the day his father had walked in on him and his friend Alan with their pants down and how scared out of his life he had been back then. He answered in the same way he had answered his father when he had asked him if he understood that their Mormon neighbors might beat him up for being who he was.

"Yeah, but I'll be the one who sets the date. Shall we say seven at my place?"

"Well, I was thinking of- uh, tomorrow, since today we have the whole Sheldon-thing.. you know?"

"Okay, tomorrow then. Fine- with - me."

Leonard seemed relieved. His first man-date proposal, and the person in question had agreed to see him. Rick was so proud of him.

A few minutes later at the hospital cafeteria:

At the cafeteria Penny bought two expensive pieces of chocolate cake. Sheldon's inexplicable behavior was driving her nuts and he was going to pay for it, for once literally. As she started heading back to the room Sheldon was kept in, she started thinking about Sheldon's words. He had the nerve to blame her for the kiss that had thrown her off so completely? Dilated pupils my ass. She caught herself behind Sheldon's door, as she noticed she was nearly growling. Keep it together. He's always been insufferable. This is just another level of crazy, that's all, she thought as she pushed the door open with her right elbow, since both of her hands were occupied by the tray on which the delicacies were.

"Well hi there, Penny!" Mary Cooper, who was trying her best to tie prayer beads around her son's neck, greeted her fondly. Sheldon kept resisting but his mother was surprisingly strong and he was also raised not to fight a woman (not because of chivalry or anything but simply because he would lose, as his sister had taught him). His mother told him to sit straight and stop crouching. He obeyed with a small grunt.

"Hi Mrs. Cooper", Penny said as she handed Sheldon one of the plates. Sheldon accepted his plate with a little nod. He mouthed to Penny 'help me' but she brushed him off with a sweetly vicious smile. "I didn't know you were already here, otherwise I would've brought you some too. Here, take mine and I'll go get another one", she suggested and tried to hand the older woman the remaining piece.

Mary waved her hand to refuse. "That looks delicious honey, but I think I'll pass. Why don't you and Shelly eat while I go call my daughters again, see if they'll pick up", she said and got up. "I'll see you kids later." She walked out of the room, leaving Penny and Sheldon to stare after her. When she was gone, their gazes met.

Their eyes were locked. Before she could think, her body moved on its own and took a step towards him. She sat down on the bed next to him.

Without breaking eye-contact, Sheldon placed his plate on his night stand. The proximity between them was quite..nerve-wrecking. Penny's lips were moving, but he didn't hear her speak. In a very soft tone of voice, he asked: "Excuse me?"

Penny leaned in, close-enough for Sheldon to feel her breath on his skin. "Do you now know why you kissed me back then?"

Sheldon's eyes widened. He glanced at Penny's eyes. Her pupils were once again dilated, indicating either sexual arousal or an opiate dependency, and as far as his (and Howard and Raj's) research had showed, Penny's vice was alcohol, not drugs. All signs seemed to indicate a green light for him to kiss her, but the last time he kissed her she got upset for reasons beyond his understanding. He wasn't even sure why he had kissed her in the first place. He decided to stay on Penny's good side until further notice (as in, until he figured out why he felt he needed to perform amorous activities with the waitress), so he was most definitely not kissing her again. Penny could be scary when she was mad.

Despite his resolve, the girl in front of her kept moving closer to him. She wrapped her arms around his neck, causing him to blush nervously. She shifted slightly to straddle him, but she didn't break contact with him at any point. Sheldon had never been in this type of situation before, and he was unclear as to what he was supposed to do. She didn't seem to be looking for anything behind his ears or something similar, she was just staring at him. The only person around he could ask guidance from was Penny, but he suspected she wouldn't explain her actions any better than what he could decipher. He tried to think back on TV shows for assistance. He suddenly remembered one movie that Howard had made him watch. The film was supposed to demonstrate how women could seduce men, or something to that effect. Sheldon figured he would never use the info, so he hadn't paid that much attention to Howard's efforts to educate him about seduction. In the film the woman had positioned herself just like Penny had right now, and according to Howard, he was supposed to... Blank. Sheldon couldn't remember a thing Howard had said to him. Having an eidetic memory, this meant he had never learned the info in the first place. He cursed himself. He gave up trying to figure it out, and decided to go straight to the source. "Penny. What- I mean what are you.."

"Your pupils are dilated", she replied softly. As he opened his mouth to argue, she covered it with her own. She felt him tentatively kiss back, eager but without the confidence of practice. She trailed down to his neck and enthusiastically sunk her teeth onto his pale skin as he tried to smother a moan.

They were interrupted by the sound of Mary Cooper's voice. "So can I take him home now?"

Presumably the doctor's voice answered. "No, we'll keep him here at least until tomorrow. He seems to be recovering quite well, though."

Penny practically jumped off of Sheldon's lap and grabbed her plate and started eating. Sheldon did the same.

"Thank you doctor."

"No problem."

When Mary walked in she saw two perfectly well-behaved little kids eating their cakes in peace. She smiled knowingly as she saw Sheldon's uncharacteristically flushed complexion, but said nothing.

"Those pieces of cake looked rather small, but apparently it takes a longer time than I expected to eat them", she pointed out to the duo, who sheepishly stared at their feet.

4pm, Huntington hospital – East Texas (phone)

Leonard finally reaches Missy, and Raj and her hurry to Sheldon's side.

Missy woke up to the sound of her phone ringing. She grabbed her cell, still half-asleep. "Mmmyes?"

"Missy? Oh thank God you're there!"

"Who is this?"

"Leonard, Sheldon's friend, remember?"

"...sure."

"Well, never mind. You have to get back here. Sheldon's in a hospital!"

"He's always in a hospital. He loves getting x-rays done."

"This time it's a real tumor."

"Oh."

Missy took a deep breath. "I'll be right there."

She hang up, and gently kicked the figure sleeping on the floor. "Shelly's hurt, so we're heading back, sweetie pie."

Raj made an 'ingh' sound and got up surprisingly fast. He felt as if he'd follow Missy anywhere.

The next morning 10am, Huntington hospital:

As Missy and Raj had arrived just when Sheldon was to be released from the hospital, it was decided that Leonard would drive Howard, Raj and Missy home while Mary would take Missy's car and drive Sheldon, Penny and Rick home (featuring a stop at the comic book store, of course). Howard face grew stiff at this announcement. "I think I'm going to head on home, I can get there on my own", he muttered, all the while avoiding looking at anyone. Before they could stop him he had already stomped off away from ear shot.

"What's with him?" Leonard asked. Everyone save Raj shrugged. He was still looking at his best friend's back, trying to decipher what was wrong.

"Come on, let's go already", Missy poked him gently and everybody got up in the cars.

In Missy's car, Penny greeted Rick enthusiastically as a girlfriend should, but her performance was shattered quite a bit when Mrs. Cooper asked her to hand her her bag from the back and Penny laid his hand on the seat to take support as she looked for the item, but when she joyously handed the item to Mary, she noticed that her hand was on Sheldon's thigh. The mantis was eying her quite nervously. Penny moved her hand away and muttered 'sorry'.