EDITED CHAPTER 9 (as of Aug 20 2013)
An-chan: Hey Guys...Sorry for not updating quickly...it's just that life is so busy right now...But I shall repeat, this story will be continued till the end, I will continue to update this until the story is over. I'm not feeling like myself today...I'm just...confused...tired and disappointed...and just...plain sad. I...I just...feel depressed. I'll just move on with life...I guess... It's not like the world is ending for me...haha...I'm still young and...I still have a long way to go with life. I...I just wish...that...it isn't like that...
Anyway...I just wanted give out a shout out to my own angel up there, Happy first death anniversary, Fluff! I know you'll always be there for me. Nothing big happened, so don't worry! I'm just over reacting...It's...It's natural I guess...
I want to thank everyone who supported this story, reviewed, favorited, followed etc. As in everything! I hope you keep loving me and MMGA until the very end!
I hope my beautiful reviewers understand that I don't have the energy to mention you all in this chap...I hope you know who you are! Please review again! Thank you and I love you so much!
A good dose of I'm Not Over You will make me feel better :) Lolz. English translation is the best XD
) Meet My Guardian Angel (
Why am I bad, because I'm better than you?
Because I'm different, because I'm not the same?
I think I told you to not point fingers at me
Saaya had seriously expected her plan to go well, she thought he'd be a little angry, rant about how much he was thankful to her, throw some insults and call the other woman a slut, or at least be happy that she told him and like treat her to dinner or something...Not get out of his sight.
She really didn't expect this.
"Get out." His voice echoed through her car, strong, firm, without emotion.
"Wha-?" She had just started to argue when he repeated.
"I said, NOW." This time it was apparent that he was angry, infuriated even.
And it frightened her. She never thought he'd be this mad! His face remained stoic without emotion but his voice betrayed his emotions, his hands gripped the steering wheel hard, and she was sure that now wasn't the right time to provoke him even more than she already did.
She tried one last time to reason with him though.
"B-But the c-c-car's mine, T-Tsukiyomi Ikuto!" She hated how her speech stuttered and how much of a mouse she was in these situations. When did she start to fear men?
"I don't care! If you don't leave right this second, I might really do something to you!" He ground out.
Saaya didn't really have much of a choice; there was no knowing what he would do to her in this position. She quickly scrambled out of the car as if it was a life or death situation. She would have to find a way to retrieve her car later when he wasn't about to blow up at her.
Her hair was standing on end when he started driving with great speed away. Leaving her alone, like what all the others did before...
Nagihiko sighed as he pushed open the brown windows of the beige room, for he felt the need for some fresh air and to let some light into the dim space. He already woke up hours ago, but he had this strange obligation to stay in the room and wait.
For the meantime he stared and listened at the birds singing a beautiful melody outside peacefully, before a quiet knock sounded from the door.
His feet glided on the bamboo floor, silent and gentle, and caused no noise to disturb, before he opened the door. (a/n: You know...this would be a good time for someone to scream: "like a ninja!")
"Nagihiko-obocchama, I have brought the jasmine tea you requested. Enjoy!" A petite but endearing brown haired girl said while carrying a tray of Fujisaki specially brewed tea.
He immediately recognized her as the newest and youngest requited staff member of the house. He instantly smiled at her and said, "Thank you Hana-san, I am grateful for your hard work, I hope you continue your efforts. You can hand over the tray to me now, I can manage to bring it in myself."
"Hai!" She steadily transferred the dish to his hands and bowed before she took her leave.
Nagihiko capably balanced the tray on one hand, while the other gently closed the door. He definitely moved with grace as he set the tea on the small bedside table.
He proceeded to sit down on the floor and lean his arms on the soft mattress of the expensive futon.
"Good morning! Have some tea, it will help sooth you." He said as he looked at the bundle of blankets.
For a moment nothing happened. Then suddenly, the blanket pushed down and a dark blond haired woman sat up and rubbed her tired eyes.
Nagihiko visibly beamed.
"Are you always like this?" She murmured. By the looks of the window, it wasn't even morning anymore.
"What do you mean?" He asked innocently.
The woman only glared at him before saying, "You know what I mean, cross-dressing freak."
His smile didn't waver despite the insult. "Haha, Rima-chan, you never cease to amuse me..."
"You know what? I hate your pleasant personality, and you make me want to punch away that perfect face of yours..." She clenched her teeth together.
Her words only seemed to improve his humor. "Thank you, Rima-chan. I didn't know I was that perfect..."
Rima sighed in exasperation. "Fine. I give up! Give me that stupid tea of yours..."
She then watched as Nagihiko silently and gracefully poured the tea on to two small cups and then served one to her. Rima took a deep breath of the steam from the tea, and she had to admit it does calm oneself.
But still, the way he's staring at her is starting to creep her out.
"Stop staring will you? How did you even know I was awake?"
"I heard you shuffling. You sleep very still, Rima-chan...so I immediately knew."
This guy is too observative...
"You haven't answered my earlier question." She moved to another topic.
"Ah..yeah, I'm usually nice to everyone. It's how I've been raised to be." He smiled and said it sofly, while staring into his own cup.
Rima was sure she saw something in his eyes then, an emotion she couldn't quite decipher, it appeared for a second, but quickly disappeared the next moment.
He then smiled the same beautiful smile he always wore, even though she didn't know what was really behind it, it was still ten times better than the darkness that materialized an instant ago.
"Well...I guess I'd prefer an annoying kind idiot like you rather than an obsessed slave..." She murmured, and when Nagihiko laughed, she finally let her cold self go, and smiled a small sweet smile, something rare and precious...It was a picture he would treasure and etch into his mind, a reminder of how even the most distant star could shine brighter than all the rest.
There were no people loitering along the quiet halls of the Fujisaki Mansion. It was almost lunch time so most of the servants had gone off to prepare the food and do their other respective chores. No one was allowed to waste their time fooling around, during work and all the servants were responsible. Only guests and the masters were allowed to linger around.
Her dark orange hair swayed as a soft breeze entered the hall through an open window. She stood silently in front of their door, hand half-raised and poised, already prepared to knock. She heard their entire conversation the whole time, and when she heard them laughing and seemingly enjoying each other's company, she just couldn't find the nerve in herself to ruin their special moment.
She parted her lips as if to make herself be heard, but only let out a tired sigh. She set her mahogany eyes down cast as she turned around and leaned against the wall.
Sometimes she really wished that she was still alive.
) Meet My Guardian Angel (
Inside the mall, the two girls were sitting in the food court while each ate their ordered food. Amu always ordered her favourite drink, a strawberry smoothie, which Rima often pointed out as something that almost accurately described and reminded her of Amu's character.
Strawberry, to Rima was a fruit that represented a pleasant, friendly, smart and fun-loving person, beautiful on the outside, sweet with a tinge of sourness inside. Amu didn't know how Rima knew this but she said that it also meant absolute perfection in the Victorian language of flowers. The red and pink of the strawberry kind of reminded her of Amu's hair too.
Rima didn't hate the taste of the strawberry smoothie, but she much preferred the mango one. That day when Rima brought up the topic, made Amu also notice how the mango smoothie also embodied Rima's personality. Mangoes were fruits that needed time to ripen before they would taste their sweetest. They were green and sour at first but slowly they become yellow, ripe and delicious. Rima was just like that. When Amu first met her, she was such a lonely girl, quite bossy, cold and rude, selfish even. She built up a wall to conceal her emotions and a facade to mask all her problems.
Amu's relationship with her started out...pretty sourly, I guess...Amu had to endure and take all her cruel blows and see through her, that inside Rima was lost, in pain, and needed a person to confide in, rely on, a friend. She just didn't know how to trust another. But once she'd warm up to you, Rima was sweet, elegant, protective, caring, and encouraging. She would definitely defend you, make you feel spoiled or even pampered sometimes like how she was treated. She was a person you can really call a true friend.
At times like this, Amu seriously missed her...how long has it been since she'd last seen Rima? Amu wondered how her life was going now...did she miss her too? Did she think of her all the time? She wondered if Rima would have remembered her just by seeing a strawberry smoothie...
"Hey Ame..." Amu went back to the present world when Utau called her, by now, Utau had successfully adjusted to calling her by her new name, Ame instead of Amu. At first Utau kept calling her Amu, because of failing to remember her new name and at Amu's insistence...but at this point she finally got the hang of it, even though Amu didn't really mind being called her real name.
"Yeah? Utau?" Amu quickly looked up from her smoothie and chicken fillet, the other thing she ordered, and met Utau's eyes.
"I know I've said this before, but you're really like Amu..."She said while smiling, the sentence trailing off as she bit into her garlic bread which came with the carbonara she bought.
"Huh? Oh... I've only been told that I look like her..."Amu muttered nervously, this wasn't a good topic considering she's supposed to be hiding her identity.
Utau grinned despite the longing she felt for Amu, because somehow she felt comforted with Ame's presence. "Actually...aside from that, you guys have similar tastes, for comfortable but cute outfits. I remember when we were young, Amu had this thing for cute gothic clothes...I'm glad she upgraded her clothing palette to brighter shades. Your personalities are alike, too nice for own good; you also seem to prefer the same kind of food! Amu really loved strawberry smoothies, whenever we went to a mall, she'd always order that if it was available..."She laughed.
Amu didn't know her actions were that obvious, she wasn't aware that her friends could distinguish her so easily. How had they become so familiar with her details? In spite of the danger this topic and questions posed, she smiled.
Her friends really knew her.
"Maybe it's a big coincidence...or maybe I was her twin separated from birth... " She said.
"Now that you mention that...it is possible!"Utau laughingly replied while twirling the carbonara on her fork. "Sometimes you guys are so alike that it's as if you're the same presence."
"We're still different though...Can you tell me more of Amu and your friends when you guys were younger? I think you're childhood memories are interesting!" Amu decided to blurt out. It will be far too risky to keep talking of her similarities with herself.
"Well...Amu was the one who really brought all of us together...There's Rima, the annoying, stubborn, cold one... she used to be like that when we first met...but I guess she does warm up despite the fiery inflammatory attitude. She didn't really like Ikuto though. Yaya was the baby among us, I don't really know why but she likes speaking in third person...she's like a kid who absolutely loves sweet and cute things...Kukai is the sporty competitive one..." Amu noticed how Utau blushed when she mentioned Kukai's name. "He plays soccer really well and he's actually in the national team...he's also like a brother to Amu and Yaya..."
"Let me guess, he's the guy who helped you and he's the guy you like, so he's like a god to you..."Amu smirked as Utau's cheeks got even redder.
"Okay I don't know how you noticed but maybe I do like him, but he is not a god to me, he just likes spending time and having ramen contests. He just thinks of me as a friend!" She defended.
"That's what you think..."Amu muttered...
"Anyway then there's Tadase..." Utau hesitated a bit with a somehow guilty expression. When Amu heard his name she fought hard to try and not cringe, instead she only smiled and nodded at Utau to continue.
"He's the prince charming of all of us I guess. When we were younger he was always the sweetest and the nicest...I don't really know if I should say this, actually I shouldn't... I know he's changed somehow...ever since we were young it's as if something changed. He doesn't seem to be the sincere child I'd always known...I don't feel like I can trust him anymore, sure even...He's actually kind of engaged with Amu..."
Her mood turned kind of sad when she said this but resumed talking anyway. "Well at the same time not really...Amu's parents wanted them engaged or somehow make their relationship really official and threw a party a few months ago but Tadase hasn't really proposed for some weird reason...I don't really know why he seems hesitant...Their relationship started three years ago, and Amu really-"She took a big gulp of air,"-likes him, I see it in her eyes whenever she talked about him...she had a crush on him for years actually..." Utau talked as if it was painful and difficult but she pressed on.
"At first, I was kind of flabbergasted. I was fine with the crush thing because I thought she'd get over it...I...I was shocked though when she told me they got together...It just doesn't feel right, I know it isn't right...for me I guess. There's this distant thing about Tadase that only I seem to notice. Some of his actions doesn't make any sense...I silently accepted the fact that they were in a relationship for Amu's happiness. Besides, she didn't even notice my uneasiness when I talked to her about it. It just isn't the same when he looks at her..."
Utau let the sentence end but she muttered something under her breath that Amu failed to catch. "and aside from that, he absolutely hates Ikuto..."
Amu was actually quite stunned. How can Utau be so sure? How was she able to notice that there was something wrong about Tadase from the start? Utau suspected Tadase of something from the beginning...even before their relationship. Amu had to admit there was something lacking...something missing in the way Tadase looked at her...something absent whenever he kissed her hand or her lips.
She already knew that a long time ago...
But why was she so blind to ignore everything? Why did she think it was all natural, that she would manage to fill it up? She should have suspected something was wrong. Why didn't she know all these things while Utau did?
Gosh, she had been so stupid! She wanted to hit her head a gazillion times, for being so...so dim-witted! What had she been thinking the past two years?! All her insecurities surfaced at the engagement party! How could she forget that?! Her conversations with Utau started replaying themselves in her mind. Utau had voiced her suspicions!
Was her heart too wrapped around his finger to care about the facts? Tadase was good in acting the way other people thought he felt. Even her parents probably didn't know. Utau knew Tadase...even before middle school...but then again she remembered the letters. Her childhood memory was blurry. She knew him even before that...she was never really as close to him as Utau, so of course she would notice him changing much more than Amu did... She shouldn't have trusted Tadase so much! She wished she had been more observant of Utau's words beforehand! The only thing Utau didn't know was that there was another thing to Tadase's insincerity, he was actually cheating.
Now Amu had to figure out why...the reason why Tadase cheated on her.
"Oh...well maybe He just doesn't love her as much as Amu loves hi-" Amu abruptly stopped her sentence when her head started to ache. She didn't know what was happening to herself, she was fine a moment ago, now she felt as if her head would split in two and the pain wouldn't stop.
"Ah...oww! It hurts! Make it stop..."She suddenly clutched her throbbing head and fell from her chair.
"Ame! What's wrong?"Utau stood up and quickly moved beside her worriedly, while Amu squirmed, struggled and writhed on the floor. She almost couldn't handle the pain even as she felt herself slip away.
"One, two, three! Ready or not here I come!" Her small pink haired self announced before removing her hands which covered her eyes. "I'm going to find all of you!" She giggled as she skipped and hopped down the halls, while occasionally looking under tables and opening doors.
As she passed by an open door with light seeping outside of it, she quickly stopped walking and smiled as she peeked inside.
"Anyone in here? If you're here I'll find you!"
Suddenly she sees another taller girl with her back turned to her, lifting books to a desk.
"Amu-chan?" Was the only thing the older girl said, but you can clearly hear the smile from the sound of her voice.
"Onee-chan!" Amu laughed and hugged the older girls back. "Why don't you join our game? Did anyone ask you to hide them?"
The older girl only chuckled and lifted the rest of the books. They landed with a loud thud on the table. "You can't remember? I have a midterm examination to study for! And I didn't hide anyone here..."
"Oh."A little disappointment laced her voice but it rapidly became cheerful again. "What's a midterm examination?" She asked while looking up to her Onee-chan.
The other girl blocked the light as she stood directly in front of the desk. Her hands separated the books into different subjects as she said, "It's a piece of paper with questions to see if you learned by the middle of the year. You're still too young to have those though. I'm studying so I can get good answers and beat others, it's like a very very hard test." She said before turning around.
Now the light from the desk lamp blinded me, and my vision blurred, and I couldn't distinguish Onee-chan's face. "Being 8 years old is pretty old to me... "
She could only perceive her smiling expression with the blinding light. I knew my eight year old self knew and recognized her though.
"Not really...I'm still two years older! Look! I think I saw Tadase-kun pass by." Hearing this she quickly ran outside the room, hearing only the faint sound of the other girl laugh.
"Boo! I got you Tadase-kun!" Amu giggled as her hands clamped down on the unsuspecting boy's shoulders.
"A-Amu-chan!" He squeaked. "You scared me! I thought you already found everyone and was waiting for me to come out."
"Haha! I've only started looking for a short time...Why did you come out? Now you'll be it in the next turn!" His face quickly turned from surprise to disappointment.
"Let's find the others!" She grabbed his hand and dragged him forward, when suddenly they heard a voice coming from the closet beside them.
"Shhh! You're so noisy! Keep down your voice! She'll find us!"
Amu's eyes quickly brightened, and she smirked.
"Gotcha!" She said as she used both of her hands to pull open the doors.
5 little kids tumbled out onto the floor.
"Ouch! You hit me!" Sceamed the one who's hair was tucked in a small blue bonnet.
"Yaya-chii is sorry..." The girl with bows in her hair said while sucking a small lollipop.
"See! I told you she'd find us! You're too excited to be found..."grumbled a spoiled girl with her long blond hair tied to pigtails as she stood up.
"Don't worry Utau-chan! Being found is much more fun!" cried the one with a darker shade of pink hair. She flashed a broad smile before helping the one with a triangular piece of green cloth in her hair stand up.
"Yo, Amu, bet Tadase-kun got found first."
"Yeah, Miki-chan...he said he thought the game was over so he came out..." Amu replied.
"Speaking of which...where'd he go-desu?" The green clothed girl asked.
"Eh? He disappeared...He was just here awhile ago Suu! Let's look for him later! I still need to find Ikuto-nii and Kuaki-nii."
"Man, I should've just gone and hid with Ikuto-nii..." Utau complained.
"Well, he always gets found last! Kukai-nii must have tugged along with him!" Ran exclaimed.
"I wonder where Ikuto-nii hid this time..."Amu wondered.
Together they set out to find the others.
"Ikuto-nii~ Where are you~?" Amu called out.
"Haven't you guys looked the kitchen?" Miki's dreary voice said while tiredly lagging behind.
"Oh yeah..." Ran agreed.
As they entered the doorway of the kitchen, it was so dark. The lights were closed and they couldn't reach the switch.
"So annoying! I wish I was a grown up already!" Utau growled.
Suddenly they started hearing weird sounds. "Awoo..."
Yaya started gripping her lollipop tighter. "W-what is that? Yaya-chii is scared..."
A raspy voice started whispering... "We're gonna eat you..."
A big dark shadow came out, and the girls screamed and pushed each other out in fright. "A ghost!" They shrieked.
"Yaya-chii doesn't want to die! Lollipop's not done yet!"
Then they suddenly heard loud laughter from the kitchen. "Hey...isn't that..." Miki started when Utau finished her sentence for her.
"Ikuto-nii! Kukai-nii! You...you evil monsters!"
They failed to suppress the sound bubbling from their throats as soon as they saw them.
Ikuto barely managed to breathe. "Now that was the funniest thing I saw in my whole 11 years..."
"Haha-hahaha-haha! Y-you..you—should've seen the look on your faces!" Kukai doubled over.
Utau marched right up to him and kicked his shin, earning a very loud ouch from Kukai. "If Yaya wasn't here I would have chopped you into pieces!" She seethed.
Kukai only covered his mouth and tried not to laugh even more.
"Really? Why won't you then? Is Hoshina-chan scared?" He teased the already angry Utau.
"Oh you'll get it alright Souma!"She proceeded to hit him with her arms and chased Kukai around the room, laughing.
I smiled, they were always like this...Suddenly, I felt a head rest on my shoulder.
"Told you I'd be found last, Amu-chan~" He smiled a little, while I only pouted in annoyance and crossed my arms before replying.
"No you didn't! You were with Kukai-nii so basically you weren't the last." His eyes twinkled mischievously and raised an eyebrow.
"I wasn't with him; he was the one who tagged along..." He scanned the room and smirked. "Let me guess...Tadase got found first..."
"Yeah...ah! That reminds me...we need to find Tadase-kun!" I turned around and walked pass the others, who were now running around and joining in on the ruckus that Utau and Kukai caused.
Ikuto only shrugged and followed me as I pondered where he would go.
"He's probably sulking in the corner of the backyard and imagining Betty at home." He commented casually.
"Ah!" I clapped my small hands enthusiastically. "I haven't seen Betty in a long time! I actually bought a blue collar for her! I should give it to Tadase-kun when we find him! I wonder how big she's grown..." I practically skipped to the door.
"I didn't know you were a dog person, Amu-chan." He said as I tried opening the screen.
"I'm not, I mean not as much as Kukai-nii or Tadase-kun. I don't know about you though." I huffed as I failed.
Ikuto rolled his eyes and pointed to the lock. "I like cats better...Dog suits Kukai, but Tadase is more like a bunny to me..." He reached up and unlocked the door. My eyes widened in understanding.
"So that's why it wouldn't budge...Tadase must've went out through the backdoor." I said as Ikuto-nii held my hand and together we walked outside.
I breathed in a lung full of air and sighed, the fresh air was soothing. I spotted Tadase-kun crouched on the bench with his head cradled by both hands.
He stared far off to the side absently with a glare.
"Tadase-kun!" I called out as I slipped my hand out of Ikuto-nii's and waved though he frowned when I did so.
Tadase seemed to have snapped out of his reverie, and brightened up when he saw me. It was short lived though when he noticed I brought company.
He sulked even more as I approached him with Ikuto-nii trailing quite slowly behind.
"Amu-chan, Ikuto-nii..." He acknowledged us.
I sat beside him and smiled. "What are you doing alone here, Tadase-kun? I found everyone and they're playing inside. Why'd you disappear?" He sighed even more and flicked his eyes to Ikuto, who was standing a bit far away, looking engrossed with the tree.
"It's nothing, Amu-chan..." He muttered quietly.
"You can tell me anything, Tadase-kun! You know, you don't look handsome when you're sad..." I beamed at him.
"The thing is Amu-chan...You'll never understand..." He sniffed, his brows knotting together and his eyes becoming watery.
My eyes widened, why would Tadase-kun cry? I tried to light up the mood by saying, "Are you crying Tadase-kun? What could be so bad that you'd cry? Big boys don't cry you know?"
It got worse, now his face scrunched out into an even bigger glare, with his ruby eyes getting even more glassy.
"Tadase-kun?"
He sighed louder and with his voice choked out, "You should just leave me alone for a while Amu-chan...It's none of your business..."
"C'mon, Tadase-kun, don't tell me you're so down because a girl dumped you..." I said unsure.
"You won't understand..." He gulped and his tears started sliding down his cheeks.
I got worried and asked, "What's wrong? Of course I can understa-"
Before I could finish my sentence, I knew something in Tadase-kun snapped.
"Stop! Just stop!" He shouted at me suddenly as he rubbed his tears away and stood up angrily.
"You don't understand! You aren't me Amu-chan! You don't know how I feel! I hate how I'm always the loser! I hate it when you guys are all nice but when I'm gone I'm sure all of you laugh! I hate how Ikuto-nii is always wins! I hate how you always think you get it when you don't! I try so hard but no one notices!" His voice got louder and louder, until he unexpectedly got pulled back by Ikuto with a scowl on his face.
"Tadase, stop." He said quietly. Tadase glared at him and pushed him away. "Don't touch me!" He shouted and started walking away.
Halfway through the steps, he turned back, glowered at us and said, "And you know what I hate the most, Ikuto-nii? It's when you always try to save the day when you aren't really that great!" Then he slammed the door to our faces.
I sat, frozen to my spot. Tadase-kun never got mad before, nor had he ever lost his temper, he was always nice and happy. He never complained, and was actually quite friendly with Ikuto-nii. I was rendered speechless by his outburst. What had I done wrong? I never bragged that I always knew everything, I just wanted to cheer him up...
My eyes brimmed with unshed tears, while Ikuto stood silently on my side, hands in his pockets, his scowling face upturned and facing the house.
I turned my head to where he was looking, only to see a window on the second floor, open with yellow blinds rustling on a breeze.
"Let's go in." He said monotonously, as he started walking to the house.
I didn't quite register what he said at first...I was just too shocked. Ikuto didn't bother waiting for me, as I watched his slowly retreating back. He hung his head low, and slumped his shoulders.
It must have already been a minute since Ikuto disappeared into the house, when I realized I was alone.
I shivered as I quickly stood up, the sudden wind chilling me as I wiped the tears that had leaked onto my face.
"It's not like that...Tadase-kun...Not like that at all..." I murmured when I finally got going.
I knew then that moment, I had matured. I would never be so innocent again without a care in the world. My eyes were opened. Not all people were like me, always surrounded with love and appreciation. Not all people had problems a little talking would fix. Not all people showed their feelings and thoughts easily and openly without a second thought. But he was right on one thing; I didn't really know how he felt.
He had doubts, he felt things I never would have thought or felt. He knew the feeling of being alone.
I didn't.
My eight year old self always thought life was a piece of cake, when you get pushed down you get up like it was nothing and stay happy, you sleep knowing you're a winner no matter what you do, no matter how many times you get pushed down, because there's always someone pulling you back up. You never think about losing other people, you think that everybody knows you, and you know everybody.
You don't envy, because you don't know it exists and because you are the person most people envy. You don't feel hatred, because you're too good for that. You feel sad when you do lose but you always know you'll win another day.
But what if you don't? You never win? And when you do, no one notices? What if no one cares? They forget and never pay attention.
A hundred other emotions other people feel, you don't. You always assume things are okay when they aren't. I was young, but Tadase, even Ikuto, knew.
That everything was not that simple.
If I couldn't understand it, I might never. All people feel different.
I knew what I'd done wrong now. In my young mind something had changed. Something I wouldn't understand until I looked back and remembered this memory as an adult. Life wasn't always a fairytale. I had underestimated his feelings; I had insulted them by claiming I could easily make it all better when he knew I couldn't.
Even up to the point where Ikuto-nii disappeared, I had learned something. He understood, and accepted, never forced something on Tadase while I did. He knew people could feel deeply, I didn't.
But now, this moment, I realize that this was the first time I had felt it so deeply, the harsh reality.
That there was this feeling.
The feeling of being on your own.
Alone.
A/n: Sorry about my very depressed author's note on top, I had a small misunderstanding, and it was far from the end of the world and I was acting all ridiculous. By the time I was 1/4 the way in writing this chapter I was back to normal. Man I was so slow and out of it when I started writing this chap, hope it don't suck. It's just me being so tired. So sorry for the delay.
It's not the end of the world and I am still forever continuing this story until I die.
Pls read and review if you have time, I love hearing your thoughts. I wanted to make it clear that I love all of you. I read each and every one of your reviews.
I made this chapter so long because I was guilty. I don't know how else to prove that I am continuing this story!
Sorry for that. XD It's just because some people keep thinking I'm discontinuing this and I'm like where'd you get that? I never said so. So please keep reading and don't leaveeee!
Did you guys notice that in the long italic part, Amu started reliving it using third person,but changed to first person? I would dedicate the next chapter to the first person who can tell me why you think I did that! It's not so hard, just tell me what you think!
Love all of you ! I promise to reply to all of you in the next chap! R and R!
a/n: Wow, I think this is actually one of my favorite chapters, I was amazed at when I reread the last parts...Anyway, minor changes and additional details to keep up with my fixed timeline.
Love you all!