Chapter 10

Tobias starts to walk towards me and when I think he is going to hug me he ends up scooping me up. I am actually kinda happy he did. I was concerned for a second that I might pass out and if he wasn't freaked out enough. In just a few long strides we are at our apartment and after we get in he gentle rests me on the bed. He runs around the apartment picking up a few things. He grabs an ice pack, damp cloth, towels, and our medical kit. He still hasn't said anything but I can see the look in his eyes as he starts to disinfect the wound on my forehead. It's a mix of horror, anger, and I think guilt.

"Tobias say something"

"I need to say something?" He has a crazy smile on his face as he smirks, I have only seen it a few times and I know something inside him has cracked and if I am not careful he will shatter. "You were attacked Tris, for God sakes what happened! When I couldn't find you I assumed you were with Christina so I went over to Zeke and Shauna's. I was laughing, hanging out as someone did this to you. Who did it? I am going to kill him, when I get my hands on him all hell will break losses y-"

"Tobias calm down. Yes I know who it was because Eric pulled him off me an-"

"Eric saved you," he whispered. He glares off into the distance I can almost hear what he is think. How he should have been there to rescue me but he was having too much fun with his friends so Eric had to do it.

"Yes. He pulled Carter off me and beat him up."

"Wait, wait, wait. I don't understand you have to start from the beginning. I don't understand how this could happen"

I start from the beginning with the bottle and emphasize the fact that he was drunk out of his mind, in the hopes that Tobias wont feel so strongly about killing him, all the way through to me stumbling down the hall. I tell him every last detail except for the conversation with Eric. When I tell him about Carter touching me I have beg him not to leave me just so that he wont go to the infirmary, grab carter and through him over the chasm, I don't tell him about Eric though because that is a conversation I know we are going to fight abut and I really don't have the energy.

After Tobias is done cleaning up all my cuts I lean down in our bed and pull the sheets and thick comforter over me. Tobias lays next to me and envelopes me in him strong arms. I am just so tired. I need to process everything that ahs happened. Lying next to him helps, but there is still a dull ache that covers my body. Maybe sleep will take the pain away…

TOBIAS POV

We lay in silence and just as I notice Tris drifting off I whisper, "I am so sorry Tris. You didn't deserve this. I should have been there to protect you and I fail. I failed you and I am so sorry. I love you. Please don't stop loving me because I let this happen."

She stiffens when I start to spoke. Shit she is still awake.

"None of this is your fault. It is Carter's. You are the reason I am okay. You are the reason I was strong. "

"Tris I love you so much."

"I am yours and you are mine"

And with that she can't fight off sleep any longer. No matter what she says I will be carrying around this guilt for the rest of my life. If I just hadn't gone to the ring store she would have been fine. I would have been with her and Carter wouldn't have tried anything. This mess is all my fault. And the worst part is Eric saved her.

Eric.

I am supposed to be the good guy. The boyfriend that is there to save her. The fiancé to take care of her. The husband to love her.

We have been together for five years and if she can't trust me to protect her, how will she trust me to protect our kids.

Before I can show her the ring I have to prove that I can protect her and that she can trust me because it will never work if she doesn't. I can't imagine my life without my one true love and she night leave me because of this…

Uhh I have to sleep maybe that will make this all go away…

***Page Break***

When I wake up in the morning I squeeze my arms together to embrace Tris but she as escaped my grip. My eyes shoot open and I think God no she left in the idle of the night, never wanting to see me again. I yell, "TRIIISS!"

She peaks her head out of the doorway and I am immediately relieved.

TRIS POV

I hear Tobias call my name so I just pop my head outside the doorway of our bathroom. I know that if I try and say anything that I will cry and I can't keep doing that.

Before this morning I hadn't looked at myself. I could feel that I was in pain but I hadn't checked to see what I looked like. I stand in front of the full-length mirror in just a bra and underwear and I see what got Tobias so worked up when he first saw me.

I had the same reaction.

There is a cut on my forehead and on my cheek. I have bruises up my arms and thighs from where he held me down and grabbed me. There is a little dried blood in my hair that Tobias couldn't get out without hurting me. I look like a mess. I am so sore.

I do my best to get put together and not look so broken but that is difficult. I put on a long sleeve tee shirt and leggings so that my arms and legs are covered but there is no covering the cuts on my face so I think I am just going to embrace them. Seem confident and strong, because at the moment I am really not feeling that way.

When I walk out of the bathroom Tobias has a weird look on his face. Like he is pitying me and trying not to show it because he knows I would hate that.

"What are starring at?" I snap. I didn't mean to but I couldn't take that look he was giving me anymore.

"I'm sorry it is just all my fault and you have the right to blame me. You should blame me because if I had been there to protect you this wouldn't have happened"

"Will you stop with that? You have no reason to feel bad. You did nothing wrong. You cannot blame yourself for this just like I can't blame myself for this. To me it feels like I should have been better. I should have been paying more attention and should have been able to defend myself but my guard was down and I didn't. Now you think that that statement is crazy but it isn't to me just like I think what you are saying is crazy. There will be if and buts in every situation but there is nothing we can do about it now except for move on and that's what I plan on doing so are you going to help me move on or not because right now I could sure use your help with that not you blaming yourself."

That shuts him up. He stands up from our couch and hugs me placing his chin on m head and sighs.

"I'm sorry this happened Tris. You just mean so much to me and I always want to be here to protect you."
"I know"

"I just couldn't imagine what I would do without you"

"I know"

"I love"

"You are mine and I am yours"

"You are mine and I am yours"