Chapter 10 – The Little Squall That Could
All three of the group stumbled off of the train. They had all experienced dream synchronisation and it was weird as hell. Squall tried putting it to the back of his mind, where it could niggle away quietly, slowly causing a tumour. Timber was a murky looking place; it was a rather industrial town, so little effort went into actually making it look like a nice place. There were greys and faded greens all over the place; as if some godly artist had run out of paint. But Squall had to keep his mind away from the topic of abstract art; it wouldn't be helpful in a mission.
"So," Zell said to the other two, "we're looking for some guy?"
"Yeah..." Squall said, looking to see if anyone was trying to catch his eye. There was no one, apart from the person who looked like a transvestite, but they wanted Squall for other purposes and Squall really didn't have the time right now.
"Okay, some guy... Some guy... Is that him? No wait, that's a woman..." Zell searched the station.
"Oh, the forests of Timber sure have changed!" shouted someone on the platform. He was young, not much older than Squall, and wore a white shirt over which he had a sleeveless yellow jacket. What kind of person wears a sleeveless jacket?
"Is that him?" asked Selphie.
Squall nodded. Now all he needed to do was say the password.
"Yeah!" Zell said, strolling over to the man, "but the chocobos are still around..."
Squall launched forward and grabbed Zell.
"Chocobo?" the man asked.
"Sorry..." Squall said, offering his hand.
"Yeah, chocobo! This guy ain't part of the resistance! Let's kick his ass!" Zell drew his fists.
"Zell! You got the password wrong you putz!" Squall said, throwing him back.
"Sorry!" Selphie chirped, "but the OWLS are still around."
"Oh, thank god," the man sighed, "for a minute there I was like 'oh no, we hired idiots'!"
"You hired one," Squall muttered.
"Welcome to Timber! Please follow me!" He walked off to a small platform in the middle of the road. It looked like a local track; the trains that rode on it could only travel around town and surrounding areas.
No sooner had they stepped onto the platform, a rusting yellow train screeched to a halt in front of them. Or so it tried; it screeched right past them and stopped a couple of feet after the platform.
"Sorry about that," the man said, beckoning them forward to the train, "we've been having trouble with the brakes."
The three members exchanged cautious looks as they boarded the train.
The inside of the train was as shabby as the outside. Parts were falling off. Lights were flickering. And the train didn't sound too healthy.
One of the doors, which led to a conference room of sorts, started to open. But it was also broken, and kept stopping as it opened.
"What the hell is this!?" shouted a voice from the other side.
"I'll help you, sir!" said the man from the station.
Together, he and the man on the other side pried open the door.
"That was effort... Don't let it close!" the other man shouted at the one from the platform.
"I don't think that door's going anywhere..." Squall thought.
"Well well, what do we have here?" he said, eyeing them up, "SeeD?"
This one was wearing a simple blue hooded top, which was stained with food and oil. His hair was also unkempt, giving him the look of a hard worker. Or a homeless person.
"I'm Squall," Squall said, stepping forward, "I'm the leader. And this is Zell and Selphie."
"Good to meet you! I'm Zone, leader of the Forest Owls!" he offered his hand to Squall, who just nodded hello instead of taking the hand. Selphie took the hand and shook it excitedly. Zone withdrew his hand and shook the pain away, leaving Zell hanging.
"What the---" he stuttered, "but it's only my left hand..."
"This here," said Zone, pointing to the one in yellow, "is Watts. You've met him."
Watts gave a meek wave.
"Right," Squall said, "let's get down to business."
"Whoa, whoa, hold your horses. We've not met everyone! There's still the Princess!" Zone said.
"But it's the Princess' nap time. She doesn't like being woken up. Especially if she's having one of her 'special' dreams..." Watts noted.
"Squall, would you be a darling and go wake her..." Zone asked, beaming.
"Wake up someone I've never met?"
"What? I do it all the time. Easy peasy!"
"I'm not some errand boy... I'm a SeeD."
Zone's smile disappeared, "you're not angry are you?"
"No," Squall snapped, "I'll do this one thing, but not again. We're not here to do your laundry.
"Oh course not!" Zone laughed, kicking away a basket of dirty clothes. Suddenly, his face screwed up and he crouched down in pain.
"Are you all right, sir?" Watts asked, concerned.
"The less you know, the better..."
Squall shook his head and just walked away.
"There must be something in the water. Today's been abnormally trippy..."
Squall searched the train for the 'Princess'. Luckily, trains have a habit of being a rather linear experience, so Squall's search didn't go beyond 'she's not in the is room, so let's move on'. Soon enough he found her room, right at the end of the train. He instantly knew it was the Princess' room; it was adorned in pink all over. Squall wasn't going to enjoy the company of this girl.
He walked over to the Princess' bed and gave her a nudge. She was still wearing her day clothes, a simple black shirt and shorts combo with flowing blue knitted top, which tied neatly at the front. She had beautiful black flowing hair, which reminded him of someone he knew.
He nudged her a few times more.
She grunted and rolled over, slowly opening her eyes. Squall's apathetic face transformed into one of shock. The girl in front of him was very familiar, looking strangely like the girl he met not twenty-four hours ago. The same girl he danced with at the Inauguration Ball.
"You!" she screamed.
Squall was stunned. She was a big player in a Timber resistance, something which Squall had never expected. Although, if he had of expected it, it would have been weird. Who sees someone and thinks "they must be the leader of a resistance".
"You're the one from the party! The rubbish dancer!"
"I'm Squall, leader of the SeeD you hired..."
She shot up, "you're Seed!? I just thought you were some weird stalker!" she jumped on him, hugging him.
"Take it easy," Squall may just get along with this one...
"I'm just so happy! I didn't think Cid would listen to me, I mean, why would he want to help out a small resistance group..."
"Yeah," Squall thought, "why would he go to the effort, unless he had ulterior motives..."
"So, it was Headmaster Cid you were looking for at the party?"
"Yeah... You know Seifer?"
Squall's stomach lurched, "we've met before..."
"Well he introduced me to Cid! And Cid said yes straight away! And now you're here! I need the toilet!" she skipped off to the toilet, "stay away from my fish bowl..."
Squall's head was spinning again. What the hell was going on? First he has a freaky dream which was made freakier by the fact that his team mates had the exact same dream. And then he met the resistance which was nothing more than three people in a tin on wheels. The leader of said resistance was an arrogant, constipated idiot who used the SeeD to do his odd-jobs and now it turns out one of the members of the resistance was the same girl he danced with the night before who somehow managed to get Cid obeying her every whim. And it also turned out this girl knew Seifer, and by the look in her eyes, it was a special kind of pre-existing relationship.
What the hell was going on!?
"Squall," said the girl, returning from the toilet, "is he here?"
"He?"
"Seifer?"
Squall bit his tongue. If she did have a relationship with him, it would be better not to offend, "no, we left that bastard back home..."
"Oh..."
"He's not a SeeD. He's too immature and self-righteous and cocky and arrogant and smarmy and is the worst leader in the world, no regards for safety..."
"I get the idea..." she looked down in the dumps now.
"Rinoa... I'm Rinoa by the way..." offering her hand to Squall. Squall took it and shook it.
A dog walked into the room. Squall's head was going to explode; he explored the whole of the train and never saw the dog, where the hell did it come from!? Squall was now sure he was still unconscious on the train.
"This is my partner, Angelo!" Rinoa said happily, it appeared the dog had cheered her up.
"Nice dog..." Squall winced; he wasn't a dog person.
"He's a smart dog. He helps me all the time. Aren't you a smart doggie. A yes you are, yes you are. A boobauidnakjd..." Rinoa said... Kind of...
"We better get to this meeting..." Squall said, looking at an imaginary watch.
"Yes, captain!" Rinoa saluted. She jumped up and ran for the conference room.
Squall was left in awkward silence with the dog.
"Smart dog... Bet it can't talk. That's where I trump you, you smug son of a bitch! Quite literally!"
Squall backed out of the room, not taking his eyes off of Angelo. Dogs can smell fear...
"I'm Selphie, and this is Zell!" Selphie chirped, shaking Rinoa's hand vigorously.
"Yeah, I'm Zell," Zell said, acting cool, "I have a penis..."
"Interesting..." Rinoa said, backing off.
"What the hell Zell!?" Selphie said, disgusted.
"What? The chicks dig that kind of dirty talk..." Zell raised an eyebrow to Rinoa.
Squall emerged at this point, unaware of his comrade's ramblings.
"We've only just met, but that won't stop me kicking you in the balls so hard that you'll only be able to communicate with dolphins, and even they'll be complaining about your high pitched voice!" Rinoa stormed off into the conference room.
"What did you say Zell? I leave you alone for two minutes and you immediately alienate Rinoa..." Squall said, barging past Zell to enter the conference room.
"What? Seifer said it would work!" Zell said, confused.
"Since when did Seifer give good advice?" Selphie asked.
Zell scoffed, "what would you know, you've only known him five minutes..."
"Yeah," Selphie fumed, "but at least I have the brains to know he's full of shit; just like your head!"
Selphie stormed into the conference room, Zell cowering behind her.
"Right gang!" Zone chirped as Zell sneaked in, hiding in the corner, "time for Operation Train... Steal... Thing... I'm no good at coming up with names..."
"How about Operation Rainbow, sir?" Watts said as he walked into the conference room, holding papers close to his chest.
"Rainbow!?" Zone choked, "it hardly brings fear to a man's heart..."
"I thought it would brighten up the day, sir!"
Zone shook his head, "what have you found out?"
Watts shuffled his papers, "I got the info, sir!"
"About the VIP from Galbadia?"
"Super VIP, sir!"
A smile spread across Zone's face. He looked to Rinoa, who's eyes lit up.
"Vinzer Deling! Our nemesis! President of Galbadia! He's gonna be on that train! And we're gonna do him in!"
"He's a scoundrel, sir! More a dictator than a President!"
Rinoa jumped in, "his train is coming to Timber, and we're..."
"Ooh, ooh!" Selphie squealed, "we're gonna blow it up with a rocket launcher!?"
Rinoa looked in disbelief, "not quite..."
"Aww... It's never a rocket launcher..."
Zell leaned to Squall, "when the hell else would it be a rocket launcher?"
Squall rolled his eyes, "this is Selphie. I wouldn't be surprised if it's always about rocket launchers..."
Rinoa cleared her throat, "have you girls finished talking?"
Zell and Squall nodded.
"Good! Let's get on with this plan!"
Rinoa grabbed a cloth that covered the only table in the room and yanked it from its resting position. Underneath it was a model train track, with a couple of badly made trains. Squall didn't like the look of this...
"Right, this model here," Rinoa pointed to a yellow train, "this is us, the train we're in right now. The carriage attached to it, the red one, is the dummy car, it is a near exact replica of the actual Presidential car."
"Okay," Squall thought, "we have a dummy car. What do we do with it?"
"You may be asking 'what do we do with it?'. Well I'll tell you; this train here, with three carriages, is the actual presidential train. This is the First Escort carriage, followed by the Presidential carriage and then the Second Escort Carriage. All we have to do is get onto this carriage..."
"Wait, wait," Squall interjected, "how are we supposed to get onto the Second Escort? They won't let us waltz on there, I'm sure..."
"Well," Rinoa continued, "we jump. Jump from our car onto theirs. Simple."
"Dangerous, too!" Selphie said. She seemed a little bit too excited.
"Our ultimate goal is to kidnap the President!" Zone said smugly.
"You look a little bit too cheery considering that isn't an easy task. What are we going to do, tie him up?" Squall said. This plan had too many holes.
"Tie him up?" Zone scoffed, "why do that? What do you think the dummy carriage is for? Aesthetic value?"
"It's a simple matter of switching the two cars, sir!" Watts said.
"Yeah! They end up with our dummy, and we get the real deal!"
"Wait, wait," Squall interrupted again, "simple matter?"
"There are two switch points along the rail road to Timber," Rinoa said, "we just need to uncouple the cars as we reach the switch points."
Squall wasn't convinced, "I'm not convinced."
It's simple enough..." Zone said, "let us guide you through the plan..."
"Step 1," Rinoa started, "we jump onto the roof of the Second Escort. We run across avoiding the sensors..."
"Sensors?" Zell asked.
"Well, there are two sensors on the train; a sound sensor and a temperature sensor, sir!" Watts explained, "the sound sensor will go off it there is any sound so STAY STILL. The temperature sensor will go off if it detects heat, so KEEP MOVING. The blue guard has the sound sensor, the red one carries the temperature sensor."
"Simple enough!" Rinoa beamed, "so, we move on to the Presidential car. Run across it..."
"Sensors?" Squall asked.
"No," Zone said, "Deling hates being crowded with stuff like that. No need to worry."
"Anyway..." Rinoa continued, "we cross the Presidential car and uncouple it from the First Escort. Uncoupling is easy enough; I tell you a code, you type it in and BAM, done!"
"So, who's doing that?" Squall asked.
"Er, you sir!" Watts said.
"Great..."
"SO..." Rinoa growled, "at this point, our train will move in. So the order will be First Escort, Dummy, Us, Presidential car and First Escort. Then we move back up the train and uncouple the Second Escort while Zell and Selphie uncouple our car from the First Escort. Then BAM; we escape with the real Presidential car and they're left with the dummy. Cheesecake!"
"Sounds good... Wait; cheesecake?" Squall scratched his head.
"Remember," Zone said, "we only have five minutes, otherwise we'll collide, and it won't be pretty..."
"Five minutes?" Zell gulped, "is that enough time?"
"Is that enough time," Zone mimicked, "of course it is! Grow some balls!"
"According to the simulation we ran, it should only take three minutes, sir!"
"Piece of cake!" Selphie chirped.
"Cheesecake by any chance," Squall muttered.
"That's a cool train, Rinoa!" Selphie said in awe, "but this Presidential car looks... Shabby..."
"Yeah," Zone said, "all of the trains are store bought, apart from that one, which Rinoa made herself..."
"Made it when she was five?" Zell joked.
"Ha ha!" Rinoa said, "I made it like that to show my hatred for Deling!"
"Sure..." Zell mocked.
Squall rubbed his temples, "let me get this straight..."
Everyone turned to him.
"You want to kidnap the President. Okay, fair enough. But do you really think its going to be as easy as you say it is? Have you had a reality check?"
The resistance looked disheartened.
"Do you really think the security is going to be that scarce on a President? Do you think it'll just be the couple of guards? Even if you do kidnap him, do you know what to do then?"
Rinoa glared at the floor.
"Have you thought about the consequences? Do you think you'll escape this alive? They'll have your head! Your putting SeeD at risk, threatening world safety! You think it'll all be peachy, but look at you guys; a self proclaimed 'Princess', an idiot with constipation and that lesbian from the Snoopy comics! Hardly the Round Table!"
"Squall..." Selphie said, "we're not here to criticise..."
"No, Mr. SeeD!" Rinoa barked, "it isn't your job to criticise! It is your job to do as your told! We hired you, we own you! So be a good little bitch and do as we say, no matter how outlandish and dangerous!"
Squall sighed, "my priority is the safety of my team and SeeD worldwide..."
"Your priority is me," Rinoa said, squaring up to Squall, "SeeD are nothing more than expendable soldiers, just about as important as the dirt on my shoes. You'll do what I say, and you'll do it now! Watts, let's get going! The train's coming! NOW!"
Watts jumped to his business. Zone made it look like he was busy.
"We've got a job to do, soldier," Rinoa said, marching past Squall.
Zell stood next to Squall, "be a good little bitch and get going..."
Squall glared at him. He was in hell.
"Good luck!" Watts shouted over the roaring wind. He closed the hatch to the roof, leaving Squall, Selphie, Zell and Rinoa on top of the train.
"Follow me!" Rinoa shouted running to the dummy car.
Squall could see the Presidential train approaching. It got closer and closer, to the point where Rinoa could reach it.
She took a running jump and landed safely on the Second Escort. Squall took a deep breath and followed, along with Selphie and Zell.
The Second Escort; Squall had to watch out for the sensors. Squall was happy to see he was right; the train was crawling with soldiers, most of them decked in blue. He noticed the ones with sensors; they were the one's patrolling up and down the corridor. Squall stepped cautiously. He looked beneath him to see the soldiers bashing their sensors, screaming at them.
"They must be broken!" Rinoa told him, "feel free to make as much sound as you want! You can also go ahead and be as exothermic as you please!"
Squall took a full sprint across the carriage and onto the Presidential car.
"Just across this car!" Rinoa shouted, taking the lead.
They marched onwards, bending over to fight against the wind.
"Do you hear that?" said one of the guard, perking up.
"Hear what?" said another.
The first stood up and followed the banging sound, "it's above us..."
He wandered absent mindedly into the President's car.
"Can you hear that?"
"Dude..." the other stepped out of the room, almost stumbling over his own feet.
The first one was stunned. What had spooked his friend.
"What are you doing in here?" came a gruff voice.
The soldier froze, "er, er..."
"Why have you disturbed me? Why must everyone disturb me?"
"S-Sorry, Mr. Deling, sir!" cowered the soldier.
"You will be sorry..."
"N-Not my pay check, sir! M-My girlfriend..."
The President chuckled, "not your pay check. I have another thing in mind..."
The soldier cowered, backing into the corner. His eyes widened and he screamed. That was all he could do...
"Do you hear that screaming?" Squall asked.
"No," Rinoa said back, "all I hear is your whiny voice! We're here!"
They had reached the end of the Presidential car. They hopped onto the First Escort.
"Selphie! Zell! Keep watch of the guards!"
Zell and Selphie nodded to confirm, and ran to their positions.
"Can you manage three codes?" she asked Squall mockingly.
"Easy," Squall smirked as he attached himself to the car. It was unfortunate that the codes had to be entered on a panel underneath the door of the train, on its side.
Squall jumped down.
"3, 3, 2, 4!" Rinoa shouted down to Squall.
"3, 3, 2, 4..." Squall muttered to himself, biting his tongue, "done! Next!"
"Squall watch out!" Selphie shouted to Squall.
Squall glanced to his left and saw a guard walking towards him.
"Shit..." he tugged at the rope that connected him to the train and it yanked him up.
"Next code!" he panted.
"Wait until you get down there!" Rinoa snapped.
"It's easier to give it to me now!"
"No!"
"Stop bickering!" Selphie screamed at them.
"Squall sighed, checked the coast was clear and jumped back down.
"Code, please!" he barked.
"Yo! Guard!" Zell bellowed.
"If she'd given me the bloody code..." Squall muttered as he pulled the code.
Squall started to ascend, but a sudden gust of wind blew him away. His feet slipped beneath him and he started to swing wildly.
"Dude! Guard!"
"Shut up!" yelled a frantic Squall.
He banged against the side of the train. He couldn't find his feet. He tried to pull at the rope, but it wouldn't move. He hacked away at it furiously, until it budged, throwing him towards the ground. Squall stopped short of the ground, but he was dangerously close to the wheels. He had to move, otherwise the guard would see the rope, or maybe even Squall. Squall stretched his arms as far as he could and grabbed onto the train. He tried to drag himself to the end of the train, hoping to hide behind behind it, but as he got close, his fingers slipped throwing him in the opposite direction like a swing.
This the guard noticed.
He flung open the door, "what the hell is going on!"
But before he could call for backup, Squall came swinging back – thanks to good old gravity – and smashed into the guard, dragging him out of the train and throwing him onto the earth below. Squall used the open door to regain his position, remembering to shut the door behind him.
"Code," he panted, sweating furiously.
The other two codes went in easily enough. Squall pulled himself back up onto the roof of the train and they all dived onto the Presidential car just as it uncoupled from the First Escort. It flew forward and the dummy car, along with the resistance's base, slotted into the gap.
"Right!" Rinoa shouted, "onto the Second escort! Zell and Selphie need to head over to the First Escort again! GO GO GO!"
They made a full on sprint for the Second Escort.
"This is it! Nearly done!" Rinoa laughed. Maybe it was just that easy.
Squall fastened the safety cable, "another three codes?"
"Five codes! Don't ask why! Continuity's a bitch!" Rinoa threw Squall down to the access panel.
"4, 1, 3, 4!"
"4, 1, 3, 4..."
Squall could see the guard approaching the door.
"3, 1, 4, 2!"
"3, 1, 4, 2..."
They were getting closer.
"4, 4, 4, 4!"
"4, 4, 4, 4... Who the hell made that code?"
They were practically at the door.
"3, 1, 1, 2!"
"3, 1, 1, 2..."
"2, 2, 4, 4!"
"2, 2, 4, 4... Done!"
Squall tugged at the rope and was pulled back up, but not completely. He was hanging just above the door, the door which a guard was currently stood at.
"It's such a beautiful day, isn't it Marv?"
"Sure is, Johnny."
"Don't look up..." Squall begged.
"Why, if I looked above me I'd see nothing but clear blue sky!"
"Sure would..."
"But I won't, lest I damage my eyes with the sun! If it was a cloudy day, I may just have looked up!"
"Shut the hell up, Johnny..."
Rinoa pulled Squall up, "how convenient that the train waited for us to move before it uncoupled!"
They jumped back onto the real Presidential car. It uncoupled from the Second Escort, as did the base from the First Escort. The base, along with the real Presidential car, escaped onto the other tracks, leaving the dummy car with the First and Second Escort.
It had worked.
Unbelievable...
Squall, Rinoa, Zell and Selphie landed in front of a wide-eyed Watts. They were all out of breath.
"You guys were amazing!" Watts shouted.
"Now all you need to do is go have words with him..." Zone said, stepping into the corridor while buckling his belt.
"Guys, let's go!" Rinoa said, puffing up her chest.
"Good luck... Oh, out of the way Watts; gotta clean out the pipes..." Zone rushed back off to, presumably, the toilet.
They all took a deep breath, and marched confidently into the President's car.
The room was dimly lit. Mood lighting? More like moody lighting.
"President Deling!" Rinoa called with a confident façade, but with a weak voice.
The President's head lifted up; he was facing away from the group and he had a newspaper in his hands, something about lunar activity or something.
"As long as you... co-operate you'll be... you won't get hurt!"
"And if I choose to resist? Then what would you do, young lady..." his voice mocked Rinoa with every syllable.
Rinoa was understandably shocked.
"It's too bad, young lady, that I'm NOT the real President... What they call a 'body double'."
"Looks like they were one step ahead..." Zell noted.
The fake President arose from his seat and span on his heels to face Rinoa. His eyes were crazy and he stood at a slant, favouring his right leg. He stepped towards Rinoa.
"All these resistances in Timber... You leak a little bit of false information and... well, it's like flies to shit... An amateur mistake..."
Rinoa was taken aback, "amateur!?"
The fake President's head shook violently, his cackling laugh filling the car, "sitting on my ass all day really hurts, young LADY... So, have any PLANS for me? I am reSISting after ALL..."
Rinoa stepped back, falling over. All she could do was open and close her mouth like a fish.
Squall reached for his gunblade. Selphie reached for her nunchucks. Zell reached... Well, Zell didn't have to reach for anything, considering his weapon was attached at the arm.
"SO, what PLans do you HAve for me? A littLE bit of ROUghing up? Or how ABOut a jig? Or how about a scuFFLE? I liKE that Idea!"
The fake President launched at Rinoa. With a swift movement, Squall jumped from his position, drawing his gunblade and landed in front of the oncoming fake President. Squall stopped the attack with a deft swipe, knocking back the fake President.
"You FELL for it! AMAteurs!" the fake President sang as he danced around the car, as if he'd just come from West Side Story.
"Are we taking this guy out?" Zell asked Squall.
"Well durr!" Squall mocked as he took another swing the fake President.
"Is that ALL you'VE got?" the fake President went as far as taking a bite out of Squall's shoulder.
"What the hell..." Squall said, rubbing his shoulder.
The fake President was avoiding the attacks of the SeeD. He laughed and mocked them as their offences failed to amount to anything.
"Not JOIning in, YOUng laDY? I'm just GOIng to conTINue ranDOMly emphSISing syllabLES!"
"Randomly emphasise this!" Zell screamed as he swung his fists into the fake President.
They hit. He fell. Zell cried.
"Good... Good... GOOD!" the fake President carried on laughing and he started to shake violently all over. His laugh deepened and his shape transformed. Mutated.
Before them stood the fake President no longer, but now a large, looming beast known as a Gerogero. It had pale skin and its body was disfigured, his left leg noticeably larger.
"What is that?" Selphie screamed over the blunt cries of the Gerogero.
"I have no idea!" Squall gulped.
This monster was nowhere as near as agile as its previous form; the monster crawled across the room taking wild stabs at the team, who's attacks were landing, but not doing much damage. Zell went in for a swing of his fists, only to be stabbed by the cold hands of the Gerogero. Suddenly things declined for Zell; the piercing had left a large hole in his arm, and blood was currently pouring from it.
"Potion..." he moaned as he span around the room, "potion!"
Selphie jumped at the word and retrieved a potion from her equipment bag. She threw it to Zell who's motor skills had fallen, thus he dropped the bottle. His eyes span in his head as he fumbled with the bottle's cap. He yanked it off and attempted to pour the contents onto his wound. The bottle slipped from his hands and the content spilt onto the Gerogero. It screamed with pain at the small splash of potion.
"What just happened?" Selphie asked as she aided Zell.
"How can potion hurt it?" Squall pondered.
He remembered a class not long ago; the properties of healing items. He remembered Seifer was being an idiot that day; slipped laxatives into Squall's coffee...
Then he remembered something Quistis said...
"I have a heavy flow..."
No... She DID say that, but that was a different lesson. She said something else that was actually useful and not disgusting.
"Healing items have a positive effect on any living thing. I repeat, on any LIVING thing..."
Living thing... But what did that mean...
"LIVING THING..."
It was on the tip of Squall's tongue.
"For god's sake, Squall! On any living thing, but not on the UNDEAD! Jesus Christ, you're stupid..."
Eureka! He had it!
"Selphie! Throw me a Phoenix Down!" Squall asked cheerily.
"But no one's been killed... Or fainted... However the bloody item works..."
"Just give it me!"
Selphie sighed and threw Squall a Phoenix Down. He unscrewed the cap.
"Hasta la vista, baby!" Squall said (lamely, I might add) throwing the contents onto the Gerogero.
Using logic, Squall deducted that if a Phoenix Down revives a LIVING thing, then it would have the opposite effect on the UNDEAD. Take that Columbo...
The Gerogero cried in agonising pain and, with a last whimper, collapsed on the car floor.
"Thank god," Squall sighed, "so it WAS a good thing a shit my pants that day..."
-----
Whew! Glad that's done!
I'm starting to fall behind in my writing, so forgive me if there isn't a new chapter next week.
Just giving you the advanced heads up. Thanks for reading!