I covered my mouth with my hand as I yawned, and stretched my sore knee out. It was getting stiff from doing nothing but sitting around. Darry kept Pony and I under strict rules to not leave the house, so we tried our best to keep up with the chores while he was working. The house was looking as good as it did when Mom was around. It just wasn't fair that he was working double shifts to pay for our hospital bills, but then again, nothing in our life was ever fair.

It's only been three days since we got home, and Darry hasn't let Pony and I do anything besides sit in the living room and watch TV. I really wasn't much of a TV watching guy, but it was all I could do. I was feeling better than I was when I was in the hospital, but I still wasn't my best. The doc said it could take up to three months for me to heal fully. I've been taking it easy ever since to see if I could try to speed up the healing process.

Pony sat curled up in Darry's armchair, engrossed in one of his many novels. I could tell by the way his eyelids were fluttering that he was trying his best not to fall asleep.

I got up and turned the TV off, but Pony didn't even seem notice. That little brother of mine always got lost in the book he was reading. "C'mon Pony, let's get to bed," I said to him. "It's getting late."

"I'm not tired yet," he replied, but the way his face looked was telling me otherwise.

"Your book will still be here in the morning."

He gave in, and joined me in our bedroom. Call me silly, but it was nice to have someone I loved close to me at night, especially after the recent accident that we just went through. I didn't mind sharing a bed with him, even if it meant the two of us having to squeeze together on the little mattress. It made the bond that we had even stronger.

"Soda? You still awake?" Pony asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Yeah, I'm awake." I wrapped my arm around him and pulled him closer to me. "Is there somethin' on your mind?"

"No, nothing in particular…" He let his voice drown out, but I could tell there was something bothering him.

"You can talk to me, you know," I said, trying my best to crack the walls that he kept everything behind. "There ain't nobody here but us."

"I can't really sleep at night anymore," he finally admitted, his voice sounding like he was holding back tears. "When I close my eyes, all I can imagine is us lying on the side of the road in pain. I'm scared Soda. I don't know what to do about it, so I force myself to stay up. I'm so tired, but I can't allow myself to close my eyes."

I could hear the pain in his voice. I try to do everything I can to protect him, but I feel like I'm not doing enough. I should have done more to help him after the crash. I should have been more observant of him after we got home. He's been through so much already, and the last thing I want for him is another thing to set him back.

"I know Pony, and I'm sorry you had to experience that. I know it was scary, hell, I never even told anyone just how scared I was at the time. Seeing you all unconscious and bloody," I paused, as that terrifying image flashed through my brain. "is an image that will never leave my head. But you know what helps me through? I try not to let the accident scare me anymore because it's in the past. We're both healed now. We may have a little more scars than we did before, but we should be proud of that because that's just another example of how we don't let life keep us down. We made it through something that others might not have. You're a real strong kid Pony. Don't let this get in the way of you living your life. You have too much potential for that." I stopped for a moment to let that sink in. "We made it, Ponyboy. I'm not going to let anything happen to you."

"Who will be next Soda? I've already lost Mom and Dad, then Johnny and Dallas, and if I lose you, well, I wouldn't make it. I can't live in a world without you."

"No one will be next Ponyboy. I ain't planning on going anywhere anytime soon. I'll always be here to protect you. I'm your big brother. That's my job, remember?"

"Thanks Soda," he mumbled sleepily, as he moved closer to me. If he really has been forcing himself to stay awake, then he must be exhausted. I waited until his breathing evened out, then I fell asleep.

XXXXXX

I woke up with a start, when I felt someone hit me in the face. It could only be Pony, who was thrashing about from another nightmare. I knew this was to be expected from what we talked about last night, but I hoped that what I told him would ease his mind a bit. I know how much these nightmares terrify him.

"Pony, wake up now." I shook him. "Wake up, it's just a dream. It ain't real."

He shook awake, with his eyes wandering around the room like he wasn't sure where he was. He blinked a few times, then looked up at me.

"You were having a nightmare," I explained. "It's all over now."

He averted his eyes away from mine, and I knew that he was trying to hold back tears. I hugged him around the shoulders, and the dam holding his tears back broke.

"It's okay Pony," I soothed, speaking in a low voice as I rubbed circles on his back. "I'm here now. Do you want to talk about it?"

He shook his head no, and wiped away a few of his tears. "I don't remember it. I don't know why I can't remember them, I just don't. I'm sorry for waking you up again."

"You don't have to apologize. Don't think about it anymore. Remember what I said Ponyboy: everything's in the past. I'm here to protect you."

"I know that Soda," he sighed. "It's hard to remember that when I'm sleeping."

"You need your sleep Pony," I said. "You're going to feel so much worse if you don't sleep. You need time to heal."

"Will you wake me if I'm having another nightmare?" he asked.

"Of course I will," I said, easing him back down to get some rest. I put my arm around his shoulders, trying to keep the nightmares at bay for a little longer.