Disclaimer: The Rocky and Bullwinkle characters are owned by Jay Ward Productions.

No Springs! Or Falling for Danger

Narrator: The largest snowstorm in the history of Pottsylvania rages on.

Edgar and Chauncey are covered with so much snow that they look like snowmen. Only their hats are visible.

Chauncey: Oh, really?

Edgar: That's a shocker.

Narrator: Haha, you guys look like a couple of Frostys.

Narrator: Speaking of wintery specials, as a result of this wintery weather, Rocky and his friends-

Natasha: Are you snow blind or something, Mr. Narrator?

Boris: Yeah, we are always trying to keel squirrel.

Narrator: Oh, right. I guess I do have snow blindness. Rocky and his evil acquaintances are plummeting down a cliff!

Rocky: Hokey Smoke!

Narrator: The dastardly duo actually managed to capture Rocky, and the squirrel is now "tied up" at the moment. But the snowstorm blinded them and that lead to a dangerous cliffhanger.

Rocky: I won't be tied up for long!

He uses his incisors to gnaw at the ropes and set himself free.

Natasha: Boris, why didn't we use non chewable rope?

Boris: I got the ropes from Snidely Whiplash. He uses them to tie up Nell to railroad tracks.

Natasha: So?

Boris: Humans don't really use their teeth for stuff like that. Either way, this bites.

Narrator: Even though they previously tricked him, Rocky, being an all around nice squirrel, saves them from plummeting into an icy chasm. But he doesn't stick around for long, and leaves the baddies behind as soon as he rescues them.

Boris: Curses! Foiled again!

Narrator: Meanwhile, in Pottsylvania...

Fearless Leader: You don't have to tell me what happened. Pottsylvania has frozen over.

Narrator: Fearless Leader has also moosenapped Bullwinkle and is hiding him in the Central Control building. Where in the building is happens to be a question in which I am not sure of.

Fearless Leader: And it is wise not to find out. Or else.

Narrator: This unsolved mystery is now his most deepest, darkest secret.

Fearless Leader: Next to when I was almost usurped by Boris Badenov.

Narrator: Finding where Bullwinkle is held captive will be a daunting task for our heroic squirrel. Not only are the headquarters gigantic, but it is also very slippery as a result of Boris not closing the windows before the snowstorm. Now Boris's boss is falling all over the place.

Fearless Leader: I'd like to see you try this.

Narrator: I can't. I don't even have a character design. Or a model sheet for that matter. Which I'm not.

Fearless Leader: Why do you insist on talking to me, Mr. Narrator?

Narrator: I'd like to get to know you more. Such as where you hid Bullwi-

Fearless Leader: Never! Leave me alone!

Narrator: Fine then. Go ahead and be difficult.

Narrator: Rocky is up to flying up in the air. He proceeds to fly over Pottsylvanian places of interest such as Mount Whynchatakea Peak, the Forest of Fear, and the Pottsylvanian Badlands.

Rocky: But everything in Pottsylvania is bad.

Narrator: I can't argue with you there.

Narrator: On the Pottsylvania coast, known as the Sorbet Shoreline, the SS Guppy has reached the nation of Pottsylvania. Of course, with Captain Peachfuzz at the wheel, this is a big surprise.

Mr. Big: Not when I'm steering it.

Narrator: Pint sized crook Mr. Big conned Captain Peachfuzz into taking tourists to Pottsylvania for a new attraction.

Captain Peachfuzz: Sounds like fun!

Narrator: He obviously didn't hear the conned part. Now what is the new attraction, you may ask? Why, it's none other than our pal Bullwinkle encased in a block of ice!

Fearless Leader: Step right up to see a genuine frozen prehistoric moose! It's like a bug trapped in amber, but better.

Narrator: Comparing the immobile moose to a bug isn't very nice.

Fearless Leader: Since when did I ever care about being "nice"? And Moose has been bugging me for years.

Mr. Big: Any questions before we start the tour?

Tourist: Uh, yeah, I have a question. What happened to your legs? There's bandages all over 'em.

Fearless Leader: I slipped and fell- er, what I meant is, the prehistoric moose is very dangerous when let out of captivity. This is why we must never, ever let him thaw out of the ice block.

Narrator: You dirty liar.

Fearless Leader: Thank you for the contemptible compliment. Now Mr. Big, do you know when Badenov and Fatale will show up with a fridge for our ferocious friend?

Mr. Big: What fridge?

Fearless Leader: Don't have one yet, eh? Then I guess the primeval monster will thaw out and tear everyone to shreds!

Narrator: The visitors are really starting to freak out. In fact, the terrified tourists even seem to be too scared to move. You two are meanies.

Fearless Leader: But scaring people is fun! You should try it some time. It's good for your health.

Narrator: I'm the narrator! I don't even have a body!

Fearless Leader: I know. I just said that to bug you. Heheheheheheheh...

Narrator: Wait a minute. I just remembered that I really do have a character model. I think it was in the "Banana Formula" episodes.

Fearless Leader: That's true. Heh, you were the bald guy with a moustache.

Narrator: You're bald, too.

Fearless Leader: Yes, but I can make fun of your moustache.

Mr. Big: Now we just need to think of some Snidely Whiplash related puns-

Narrator: Never mind. Make fun of the tourists instead.

Fearless Leader: All right. But how could you be stupid enough to forget that you have a body?

Narrator: I get the feeling that no body likes me...

Narrator: That's what I get for trying to save our moronic moose. He better be thankful for what I went through to help him.

Rocky: Pun riddled insults?

Narrator: Yeah.

Rocky: I had to escape Boris and Natasha, an avalanche, and now I'm flying through a snowstorm.

Narrator: How about I call you a bragging squirrel instead of a plucky squirrel?

Rocky: Plucky squirrel sounds better.

Narrator: Then keep it that way.

Rocky: No offence, but you're kind of grumpy today.

Narrator: You're so observant. But will you be observant enough to find your best friend? And Will Bullwinkle finally thaw out of the ice block and turn back to normal? Be sure to stay tuned next time for "Have you seen this Moose?" or "The Coolest Moose on the Block".