1. This is a Role Play between myself and RipJawWolfFang. I am role playing as Light and she is role playing as L.
2. I have altered this story to that of a fan fiction format so it not in script style in accordance with the rules.
3. This story is primarily Light x L, but will feature appearances from other canon characters.
4. This is an Alternate Universe, but will contain references to original canon plot.

Disclaimer: We do not own Death Note or its characters. They belong to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata.

A/N: The normal plot resumes! :)

Part 11

After some time, even L seeks out some comfort, considering getting up and going to the boys' room to lay down with them in their beds, but just cant motivate himself enough to get to his feet.

He pauses outside of the door, warring with himself as to continue inside or go back down. The first thought wins over and he opens the door again, slightly limping. Though he is inside the room again, the smell of what they did still lingering in the air, he remains quiet; his throat constricting and betraying him, keeping him from talking. He's never seen the detective like this and though the 'Kira' persona was dancing with joy, Light felt bad, even if it was sort of...fun.
"Ryuzaki..."His voice finally cracked, his throat still feeling too constricting.
"I... I'm... s-sorry..." He diverts his gaze.

The panda eyed detective flinches at the sound of the others voice, scared for a moment that he could be attacked again at any moment.
"P-please stay away..." He whispers, keeping his tears hidden and his voice smooth and calm despite the turmoil within.

"I... I didn't mean for things to go that way Ryuzaki... please understand..." He knows that the detective could not understand, having been a victim of his that did not die of a heart attack. Light was certain that the detective would willingly face that sort of end by now. Not to mention, his 'Kira' persona was a brash and unforgiving one. He slowly approaches the detective, but making no move to touch him.
"It wasn't supposed to happen that way... I just... lost control of myself and I regret taking you in that way... I honestly do..."

Ls body shakes almost uncontrollably and he feels like he could vomit at any time but ignores the feeling.
"I-if I give you... If I give you my name... then will you kill me, without harming my... my boys... don't hurt them and I will give myself up to die..." Its the only thing he can think to do...

"No Ryuzaki..." Light makes his move then, and grabs the detective and pulls him into a full body hug.
"I'm not going to let you go that easily. I care about you too much to let your life go to waste. Sure it is indeed noble, but even if I could kill you, I cannot... no... I will not." Despite the panic reactions of the detective, Light does not let go. He wants desperately for the detective to feel that he does indeed care for him. If it was not for this other persona that was created after a long time of using the Death Note, he knows that things would be different. Light just wanted L to be his, to submit to him so that they could share their happiness. The act of raping him has shattered that and now it was time to pick up the pieces.

The older male cant help but panic, trying to wriggle free and crying loudly to be let go. He knows the chances Light will rape him again right at this second are very low but he just cant get control of his body. The raven's heart races, his breath becomes short and sharp and his whole body trembles like leaves in the wind.

"Pull yourself together Ryuzaki! You have 2 boys that look up to you as a mentor and as a father figure. You need to be strong for them!" Despite the semi-hard tone in his voice, Light's grip on the detective remained unchanged. He brings his lips to the raven's neck and places a tender kiss there.
"Look... I know what I did to you was immoral and wrong and I know that I've damaged you and I am sorry for that, but I want to make things better. I want the next time to be for you and you only. I don't want to hurt you like this, but sometimes I have no control. I wish I didn't lose control, but I can't stop it when it starts. I will try though Ryuzaki, even if it hurts me, I will try to control myself next time."

Slowly the squirming stops, not so much because the detective is calming down as much as that he is so exhausted he cant even manage that anymore.
"Y-you say that like... like its the easiest... thing in the world..." he almost cries, "You raped me... Then you... expect me to forgive you? To welcome... the next time?" He is still bleeding slightly whenever he tries to move and it hurts quite badly; his lower back feeling like its been torn apart.

"I'm not going to sugar coat it Ryuzaki, but you did agree to this. You gave yourself to me in exchange for your boys' safety. That was the deal. Yes... there will be more of this, but I will take it easier on you, I will try to control myself. Come Ryuzaki, you need to shower and get clean..." *Funny you should say that because he'll never get clean, much like you.* Light shakes that traitor thought from his head and calmly leads the detective to his bathroom, letting him go to start running the water and turning on the shower head. Turning his attention back to the raven, he starts to strip the detective of his clothes, tossing the soiled garments into the waste bin. He tests the temperature, finding it warm enough and motions the detective inside the bathtub that was connected to it. He knew the detective was a lot stronger than he appeared, but Light could not help thinking he looks far too frail.

"I know I agreed... that is why... that is why I am not fighting you..." L whispers hoarsely. The boys' safety relies on his cooperation but he is slightly offended by Lights implication that he could ever enjoy being touched by the younger male after what he has done.

The warm water is soothing however and he lays his head back and relaxes ever so slightly, some of the pain melting away. This is all to much for him to bare on his own.

Light reaches for the scented liquid body soap and brings it to his nose. Strawberry... interesting. He puts a generous amount into his hand and brings it to the detective's body and begins to rub the soap over the naked form in front of him. He feels the detective shuddering a little under his touch, but as with the massage from earlier, he remains diligent, working up a lather. No part of him was left unwashed, that was until he got to the detectives genitals and bum. He lets the detective clean himself there.

"This is demeaning Light-kun..." The raven whispers again after a long silence but despite himself he feels his body slowly relax. The exhaustion once again taking its toll on his body. He was tired… far to tired to put up any form of resistance. He was sure he would still be in the grips of a panic attack had he been able to even keep his eyes open anymore.

"It's not much, but it is the best I can do for now Ryuzaki." He gets the shampoo and washes the detective's hair and finally rinsing everything away. He pulls the detective out, grabs a towel and begins to dry him off. After this, he leads the detective back out and opens the closet, selecting a new set of similar clothes and helps the detective into the clothes before letting him settle into bed. He goes back into the bathroom and ties up the bag with the soiled clothes and sets that by the door.?
"I will check on the boys and make sure they are alright. I will not be long Ryuzaki." He takes the bag and leaves the room, seeking out the garbage chute to be rid of the clothes. True to his word though, after this is done, he goes to the elevator and descends to the second floor and walks into the former storage space to look in on the sleeping boys.

The grey eyed detective curls up in a little ball under the covers. Perhaps his boys wouldn't mind if he curled up in the bed with them? He doesn't want to be alone and he is sure his presents is of comfort to them as well. Being in a new place after such a traumatic event would be hard on them, still he won't move tonight. Maybe tomorrow when he has calmed down enough to pull back up his emotionless mask once again.

Light walks slowly and silently, making sure he does not disturb the pair, noting that they shudder every so often. That was one of the effects of the anesthesia that he gave Nate, but it was alright as he knew at this stage in recovery, they will remain in a deep sleep for another day. He turns around and goes back to the elevator and ascends back to the monitor floor and walks back to the detective, opening and closing the door behind him. He lays next to the detective and pets his back as he did before, making similar soft 'hush' sounds to lull and calm the detective.

Slowly the older raven lets his eyes droop shut, falling into a deep and restless sleep after just ten minuets of lights treatment. If only Light had not been Kira, perhaps they really could have worked together? If he where a student at Wammy's he would be among his favorites. Above all L values not intellect but willingness to act on ones own beliefs. to play the game no matter how the odds are stacked against you. Light has that willpower, yet he is acting on it in the wrong way. Perhaps he is truly as broken as Beyond? If he forgave Beyond for his own madness then could he forgive Light? *No... No they are nothing alike...*

Light does not remember falling asleep, but he wakes the following morning with the detective still beside him, though he was sure he was mostly lying there with his eyes open. He lets out a long, but soft yawn and stretches and rolls off the bed before leaving the bedroom, not saying much. He was not in the right mood to talk yet. He needed to shower and have his morning tea. He took his time cleaning, dressing and looking presentable. He takes his time preparing and steeping the aromatic tea and waited until the detective was in sight before he would pour his cup.

The detective also took his time getting ready. He spent most of the his time sitting on the bed in his usual position, trying to make sense of it all before getting up, running his fingers through his hair to stop it from knotting (though it still stuck up wildly in all directions), and then pulling on some clean clothes. Slowly he walked into the kitchen next to Light and got himself some strawberries, pretending as though nothing was wrong even though he was still physically suffering.

"They are still in recovery. They have been in deep sleep for around...14 hours if my calculations are correct. They will be out for another 2 hours and will awake. I think they would like to see you first when they arise." He pours the detective a cup of tea, unsure this time of whether he would take it or not, but that was the detective's choice.
"You hold yourself together quite well. I am almost envious Ryuzaki."

"There is nothing to be 'envious' of Light-kun." L mumbles and takes the strawberry by its little green leaves, holding it delicately between his thumb and forefinger. "I simply have more willpower then you give me credit for. I must be strong for the boys at the present time. I wish to be there when they wake and I will not upset them further with my own negative emotions." With that he nibbles the end of the little berry for a moment before putting the entire thing in his mouth.

End Part 11