Sorry for the delay! On with the show! Revised 8/20
Chapter Ten: Alone
Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye
Perfect couldn't keep this love alive
You know that I love you so, I love you enough to let you go
I'm Already Gone…
Already Gone – Kelly Clarkson
Unlike any other feeling she had felt before in her young life, Lori now felt completely lost. She knew where she was, but she was lost there. The cold water that now cascaded down on her head, danced along her back and washed over naked form, was now joined by silent tears. Her head rested on the side of the walk-in shower, eyes unfocused as the water continued to cool her body. But she didn't care. She cared about nothing at this moment for she was lost.
Have I really become nothing but a whore to a demon…?
Have I really become His whore?
You are protecting Will. And besides, what he asks is not as bad as Will dead on the floor at your feet, her mind rationalized to herself.
He wants me to kill.
They deserve it! Look at all the people they have destroyed? All those lost souls in the wing that was overdosed on Hypnocil. What about them? They can't fight for themselves, but you CAN fight for Will. Remember all the things you wanted for him and yourself. You will never have them. Let him go to protect him.
Her internal struggled continue to rage on so aggressively that she did not even hear the door open to her bedroom. She did not even register the nurse's voice calling for her and asking if she was alright. Not until the bathroom door open did Lori snap back to reality and try to quickly think of a reason why she was covered in glass, the door of the shower broken and she was lying in cold shower water.
"Ms. Campbell!" screeched the night nurse Sharon, running toward her.
"I…I…must have fell. The floor must have been slippery. I am sorry I scared you, it's really nothing."
Sharon's face told Lori she must have looked worse than 'just nothing'. Quickly turning off the shower, she pulled the Emergency cord that was by all the toilets in the hospital and reached under the sink where the bath towels were stored. "Here dear," she whispered softly, covering her shivering body.
"T..th…thank you," Lori chattered, feeling the extreme chill for the first time since she woke up. She tried to get up, but the nurse restrained her.
"Just wait till help gets here dear, if you hit your head to make you go unconscious this long, you will need to be seen."
"No, really, I am f.."
Lori was interrupted again by two more nurses now entering the bathroom, eyes wide at the broken door. "What happened?"
Sharon shook her head. "Poor dear slipped while getting into the shower. I told them about these stupid glass doors and how dangerous they are in this kind of hospital. Dealing with sleep and mental disorders and having these types of doors is absolutely reckless. I will be making another report to the board of directors on this one."
"Just…c..cl…clumsy…" was all Lori could chatter between her teeth as another wave of cold tensed her muscles. She was so numb from cold she could barely feel the glass anymore.
"Help me with her please? Let's get her on the Gurnee," directed Sharon to the other two nurses. They grasped Lori's arms and helped her to her feet. She winced and swayed slightly under her own weight, unable to really get her bearings. They eased her out of the shower to avoid the broken glass and onto a waiting hospital bed. She rested on her side, avoiding any pressure on her back and the little pieces of glass in her skin. The nurses moved her out of her room and down the hall just as Will came bursting out of his room.
"Lori!" he gasped, sprinting toward her.
Sharon moved him away from Lori. "Not now, Mr. Rollins! She fell through the shower door and was knocked unconscious. We need to clean her up and check her for a concussion."
He ignored her and edged toward the other side of the Gurnee.
"Please Will," pleaded Lori through tear streaked eyes, "just go back to bed. They know what they are doing. I am fine, just please get some sleep."
"I can't just leave you!"
"Trust me Will; it's not as bad as it looks, believe me."
"Lori…" he sighed, now grasping her hand, "I will never leave you."
She nodded solemnly, easing her head back on the bed as they wheeled her to the X-ray and CT scan room. She will have to make him leave. Make him leave her forever to protect him. To keep him from what she was planning to do. It was the only way….
_._._._._._
Will remained by her side as long as they would allow. Dr. Campbell finally stepped in about eight in the morning and told him that he was no use to Lori sleep deprived. He finally gave in and went back to his room, passing out on the bed. Again, dreamless sleep made the time fly and before he knew it, it was six thirty at night. He showered, dressed quickly and made his way to Lori's room. Barely making it but ten feet out of his door, Dr. Campbell crossed his path. "And where do you think you're going, Mr. Rollins?"
Will glared at him. "It is my visiting time with Lori, same as every day."
Dr. Campbell shook his head. "Not today. She needs uninterrupted rest and recovery. She may not have concussion, but she still had to endure three hours of glass extraction from her fall. Not to mention the stitches to her leg. So, I feel today should be just peace and quiet for my daughter."
"And 'peace and quiet' involves a session with you?" he retorted, noticing the doctor's notebook and pen in his hand.
"I have work to do here, Mr. Rollins. My visits are mandatory for her recovery, yours are not. You might do well to remember that for I may just take your visits away."
"You son-of-a…."
"That will be enough, Mr. Rollins. Please return to your room and prepare for your own visitor. Our appointment was moved to let you sleep, but we are still having our session." Turning on his heel, Will ignored whatever else Dr. Campbell was saying and moved to his room, shutting the door. Grabbing a bag of chips from his stash, he munched on them absent-mindedly. He hated the fact he was away from Lori, what if she falls asleep and forgets to take her meds? What then?
I will be burying her then, he thought with anguish. And that he couldn't live with. They would have to bury him right beside her for his whole purpose now for living was her.
Suddenly he heard a knock at the door. "Mr. Rollins? You have a phone call."
Will's spirit lightened immediately. The only person who called him here was Daniel, and if he was calling there was news. He just hoped it was good news.
"Thanks, I am coming." He tossed the empty chip bag and made his way to the nurses' station for his call.
Nurse Sharon, who had just clocked in for the night, handed him the portable phone. "Make it quick, Dr. Campbell is expecting you."
Rolling his eyes, Will took the phone and went into an empty room off the hall for privacy. No one needed to know. "Hello?"
"Will? It's me, Daniel. I can't talk long, but I just wanted to let you know that I made it to Wisconsin and I am just about four hours from her town. I will call back again when I have talked to her."
"Good. That's good because if I don't get Lori out of here soon, her father is going to commit me back to the other ward and Lori will be isolated. I can't and will NOT let that happen. Find her fast Daniel, and I will try to keep things together here."
"Ok Will, I will be in touch. Take care."
Will ended the call, looking at the phone for a long moment. His new friend was almost there and soon he would be out of this place. With that thought to keep him sane, he passed the phone back to the nurse and prepared for yet another pointless meeting with the doctor. The nurse took the phone, but grasped his arm, making him look up. "Wait, I need to speak with you for a moment. Something has happened."
He turned, looking at her alarmed expression and immediately thought something had happened to Lori. "What happened?"
She motioned for him to go back into the empty room, papers in her hand now. This alarmed him even more as she closed the door to the room. "What is it?"
She finally turned to him, a little smile crossing her face. "Lori asked me to tell you this. She is having some trouble dealing with it herself after her accident, but she seems to have accepted it and is somewhat happy about the situation. We just need to monitor her more closely now and reduce her medications down until she can be without them. But I needed to speak with you about this just to clarify some things. There are some personal questions we need to ask about….you…and Lori's….personal relationship," she stated, not looking up from her papers.
Will was confused. "What do you mean our personal relationship? What situation? And why in the world are you reducing her medication?"
She continued as there had been no interruption. "Will, have you and Lori ever…been…intimate while you have been here at Westin Hills?"
He blanched. "What has that got to do with anything? Did Dr. Campbell put you up to this? Why is that asshole having you pry into my life too?"
She shook her head. "I am doing this on the confidences of Ms. Campbell. The doctor has not received the results just yet, and since I am the nurse practitioner and a registered OBGYN I can complete this without his knowledge. He is currently now in a staff meeting for the next hour and we just got the results back about half an hour ago. So, I ask again, have you and Ms. Campbell been intimate since coming to Westin Hills?"
"Um….yeah….we…but just once…" he muttered, feel heat rise in his cheeks. He remembered the encounter very vividly.
"Was any type of contraceptive used? I mean, protection?"
"Well…we…that is to say…hadn't really planned for it and you can't really…"
She looked at him now. "So, I take that as a no?"
He grinned sheepishly, now truly blushing.
She gave a sigh of what seemed like relief as she wrote something on the papers. This got his curiosity up further. Why did she need to know that?
Unless…
Realization hit him like a ton of bricks. He felt the bottom drop out of his stomach as his heart turned over. All color drained from his face to be replaced with shock.
"Is Lori…pregnant?"
She smiled once again. "That is what it looks like dear. It is still very early to tell, but after we took some blood samples to check her medication levels after her accident, the results have all been the same. And with what you have confirmed and what she has explained to me, you are the father. We will know a little more in about a month to take an ultrasound. Mr. Rollins? Will, are you alright?"
He turned a pale shade of green and retched into the trash can next to him….
In the dim light of her room, Lori was curled in a ball on her bed. She did not want to be alone, but she really did not have much of a choice in the matter. Not after her meeting with the nurse. Not after her world had turned upside down…
After enduring hours of a surgeon pulling tiny fragments of glass out her skin, she didn't know how much more she could take. The stitches didn't hurt as badly this time on her leg, probably because she was used to them by now, but the feeling of the glass being removed and the little tinkling she heard every time one fell into the metal collection bowl was driving her mad. Finally, it was over. The surgeon ran something cold over her skin and placed large gauze bandages over the highly concentrated areas. Once he was done, he helped her get dress and gave her something for the pain. One of the nurses that was assisting him left the room and returned with a wheelchair to take her back to her room.
"Just a minute Diane," said the surgeon whose name Lori had forgotten, "Nurse Thomas wanted to talk with her in private for a few minutes. Can you take the patient to her office first?"
The nurse nodded and helped her off the table and into the chair, covering her with a blanket for warmth. It felt nice. After she was secured, she was wheeled to the room down the hall which was the registered nurses' office. Once there, the registered nurse she knew called Sharon Thomas greeted them warmly. Lori had noticed she looked strained. Did she have bad news about Will? Was she already too late? Did Freddy lie to her about leaving Will alone?
"You may leave now Melanie. I can take her down to her room once our meeting is over. Also, could you see if the prescriptions I requested have been filled?"
"Of course," the nurse Melanie agreed, closing the door to the room.
And they were alone. Lori tensed in her chair and Nurse Thomas trying to seem relaxed in hers. They were still for a moment when the nurse finally spoke. "We just got the results of your blood work back Ms. Campbell and we were quite surprised by the results."
They knew. They knew I did not take my meds last night! My levels must have been really low and now they knew,she thought to herself in a panic. Her eyes darted around the room as she thought frantically of a way to lie, a way to get out of this so she would be able to dream again. To be able to protect Will...
Sharon looked at her for a long time before speaking again. "I know this is going to be difficult for you but I need to ask this before we proceed. I want you to tell me what happened when you were attacked the second time. This is not for your father's information," she stated, interrupting Lori who had began to protest, "but for my knowledge only. And I don't need to know everything. I have read your report to the police about the second attack and have the results from the hospital of the measures taken after the first one. I understand fully what you stated. What I am asking now is more personal, okay?"
Lori just sat there, waiting.
Sharon took it as the go ahead to ask the question burning on her mind. "It won't leave this room dear, for I know that it would destroy Mr. Rollins. But, when you were attacked the second time, did the man assault you again…sexually?"
Lori looked away, hoping to hide the lie. "No. He…he just…just…"
Sharon shook her head, raising a head to stop her. "That is all I needed dear, thank you for telling me. I just needed to know that there was no chance that it was his."
This caught Lori by surprise. "His what?"
The smile that crossed the woman's kind face made Lori feel uneasy. "Well, my dear. It is still very early, but the results are positive for…"
"No…" escaped Lori's lips automatically. She had remembered something from her dream…
"Congratulations bitch. Hope he looks like me!"
It can't be…
That is what he was so confused about. That is why she smelled different to him and why he now wanted to keep her. She….was…..having….
It was his, she knew. Only he would know for certain if it was or not and he confirmed that for her last night.
"Yes, Ms. Campbell, your results are positive for pregnancy. I won't be able to tell how long until later, but from what you told me you already know. Still, when was the day of your last menstrual cycle?"
Lori lied, giving a date that would fit to make it be Will's. The nurse wrote down the date, continuing. "And that matches up to when you and Will?"
"Yes," Lori answered quickly, still looking away. She did not want to break down in front of the nurse, but the tears would not stop falling. She knew that she actually had been late before her and Will had sex but never thought it could be this. Hypnocil was known to affect women's hormones and her periods were never consistent to begin with. She knew when it had happened. The first night she had screamed his name...
The father of her baby…
"Now, I understand that this is a lot to take in right Lori, but I want you to think about the whole picture before you jump to any decisions on what you want to do. I know you and Will are very young, but every pregnancy is a blessing and something not to be taken lightly."
Lori understood what she was coming to. "No. I couldn't do that. My mom was surprised with me when she was pregnant and fought to keep me. I could never have an abortion. No matter what it becomes."
"What do you mean what it becomes?" she asked, startled.
"Oh! Sorry, I meant no matter what it is, you know, a boy of girl," she explained through tears. The nurse sighed and moved around her desk, placing a consoling arm around her. Lori let the sobs come freely to let her think it was only the shock of the news that affected her now. So many lies to keep her from being committed. To be a guinea pig for her father. Oh, he would love to hear the truth.
Dad, the father of my baby is actually the serial killer that raped me in my dreams. What's that dad? You want to me committed and run tests on my baby? That's great,she thought to herself hysterically, almost laughing between the sobs at the thought. She would become another victim to her father's experiments. Just another statistic.
"There there, dear. I know it's a lot. I am glad you plan to keep it, but there is always adoption as well. That is something you and Will need to discuss."
"Yes, Will and me," she answered emotionlessly. Then another thought occurred to her; what was she going to tell Will?
"Nurse Thomas, can you please tell Will? I…I really can't do it. Not yet. This is just…so much for me right now. And please don't tell my father until I can talk to him, please?"
The nurse smiled. "You are a legal adult Lori and can contain the information as you see fit. But since your father is technically your doctor, I will need to tell him. However, it can wait till tomorrow. Or maybe the next day…"
Lori was grateful for this nurse. She seemed to be the only one she had interacted with that truly cared about her. "Thanks, I really appreciate it. Will is going to freak."
She laughed at Lori's remark. "I bet..."
So now, Lori was alone. Even hours later the news still tearing ever fiber of her being apart. Whatever she had planned before, schemes of trying to avoid killing for him and protecting Will were now pointless.
Freddy had all the cards. He had her right where he wanted her.
Then she thought of the baby. Maybe I should get rid of it…
No, she couldn't do that. She could never kill something so innocent. It may be a part of him, but it was still a part of her, no matter how small a part. And that meant that she would have to do what he said.
And have to let Will go.
She remembered all the times they had shared, all the moments. She held a piece of paper in her hands, some words that she scribbled to Will. After this, she would leave without him. She would get away from here, no matter the cost. She read the words to herself again:
Will,
I am sorry for everything I have done. All the pain I cost you coming back to me. And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better. But I want you to move on, so I'm already gone. When you get this, I will have already checked out of the hospital and back to my life. Please live yours. Forget about me. Kill Jason and stop Freddy at all costs.
Goodbye,
Lori
She folded the letter and placed it on the counter for him to see and let it empty from her mind. For what she was planning to do, she needed to have no outside interference. She just kept staring at the clock, watching the time pass slowly, waiting till she was absolutely sure her father was asleep. She looked at the little medicine cup with her reduced dosage of Hypnocil waiting. She took the cup and walked to her bathroom, noticing the shower door no longer there and a curtain in its place. The tiny pills clattered lightly as they whirled down the sink basin and into the drain. She threw the cup away, looking up at her reflection in the mirror.
She needed to sleep, needed to get her instructions from him. Then she could…take care… of her father. It was the only way.
To protect Will and to protect her unborn child…
She was so alone…
Well, another long chapter. Hope you enjoyed it. Please review and another chapter will come very soon. This was hard to write to, but now that I have finally decided which way to go, the rest should come easier.