Oof, this chapter was hard to write.

Cross and Toga are quiet in the aftermath of my story—theirs, too. It sounds like their evening has been as insane as mine. Level Es from the Senate and the Hunters' Association attacking Cross Academy? What a nightmare.

I stare down at my empty teacup. The agitation in me wants to do something—get up and run, climb a tree, something! The china in my hands is so delicate. If I didn't have this cast on, I could squeeze my hands together and smash it to smithereens.

I blink and shake my head. Why would I do something like that? Who thinks of things like that?

Do I need another glass of tablet solution, maybe?

In his armchair across the room, Cross sighs heavily and tucks his legs up under himself. "After this, there won't be a Night Class, and with the newness of your changed state, I'm afraid I can't offer you a place at Cross Academy anymore."

I nod slowly. I could've predicted as much. I turn to Toga, who is quiet for a moment before inhaling deeply. He leans forward to set his empty teacup on the coffee table before he says anything. "As I said, your best bet is to come with me. There's always a spot for more hunters at the Association. And after tonight, that's doubly true."

I swallow heavily. "After what you've said about their involvement in this evening…" I trail off. Do I want to be involved in something as corrupt as that?

"The Association could use people like you, Hikari-chan," Cross says in a low voice, tugging his shawl around his shoulders. "People who won't instantly dismiss vampires as evil."

"Well, seeing as how I am one, now…" I bite my lip and look back down to the carpet. I never did clean up the mess from the spilled blood tablet solution earlier. "I'm sorry about your carpet."

Cross waves one hand dismissively. "The absolute least of my worries. Think nothing of it."

"What would it mean, my training to be a hunter?" I ask slowly.

Toga taps his fingers idly against his knee before he responds. "We can always use desk jockeys. Right now, I need a new secretary. Beyond that, you'd get lessons in martial arts and weaponry, and you'd learn about intel and recon. If you show an aptitude for anything in particular, we'd see what further training would best suit you."

A vampire hunter who is also a vampire. I wonder how I'd fit in. I wonder what Takuma would think of that.

I wonder where he is.

There's time enough to find that out later.

"Don't worry about being a vampire at the Association," Cross says after a moment. "There are plenty of former humans who work there." He looks over at Toga and waves a pointed hand at him as he thinks aloud. "Silas Priest has a Level D assistant—Ryuunosuke Takano, isn't it?"

"He's not long for Level D, if you ask me," Toga responds darkly. "There's Zero, too."

I'd forgotten that he was a hunter-turned-vampire. I may not like him much, but I wonder if he might be willing to talk to me about my new status, help me through this a little. Unlike the Night Class members, he'd be able to talk about the transition from human to vampire.

So we've established that I have a place where I could get a job and have a life. I'm eighteen, so legally, I can have a full-time job and get a place to live.

God, I'd have to get my own apartment.

It hits me, then. "What am I going to tell my parents?!"

Realizing what I've just said, I look over at Toga, who immediately raises a placating hand. "You can call them your parents. It's fine." He leans back to cross one leg over the other. "I'll come with you. We'll find something to say. I should've checked in with them years ago, anyway." He clears his throat. "And I'll get Zero to talk to you, too."

I nod. "Between him and Takuma, I should be able to get through the worst of the initial… shock, I guess."

Toga frowns. "Who is this Takuma?"

Oh. I hadn't quite thought of how I'd explain this. I look up at Cross, who instantly stands up. "Who wants more tea?" he asks brightly.

"Sit down, you fop-ass idiot," Toga snaps, and Cross gives him an exasperated glare. "Who is this Takuma?"

"Moon Dormitory Vice President Takuma Ichijo," I mumble, looking down. I can't face him while I say that.

"The grandson of that crusty old Senate leader, Ichio?" Toga scoffs. Senate leader? I should've guessed. "He's that blond kid who hangs out with Kaname Kuran."

I nod. "We… sort of became friends," I say diplomatically.

Toga stares at me long and hard. "You went out with him."

My face heats up and I still can't look at him. "Just for a bit, yeah." My mouth dries up before I can say anything else.

"You knew about this," Toga says, turning to Cross, who starts. He raises one hand to his chest, his entire posture screaming, "who, me?" Toga glares. "You let my daughter date a vampire and didn't tell me about it?"

"I may have… supervised them a bit," Cross says carefully. "I thought that if I could keep an eye on them, they'd be safer than if they had to sneak out. We saw how that ended up."

"How did it end up?" Toga's one eye flashes dangerously.

If tonight hadn't gone the way it did, I might be chiming in. I'd like to have a say in my own life, thank you very much. But I'm so tired. It's a lot easier to let Cross handle it and take the heat for me.

I should write him a thank you card later.

"Don't look at me like that! She's your daughter—she inherited your stubborn do-what-I-want kind of willfulness!" Cross huffs. "She got attacked by a Level E. Ichijo-kun actually saved her life. You should be grateful."

"So you fell for this prince character?" Toga asks me. His voice seems a little growlier than it did a second ago.

I shake my head. "No. He saved me after we'd sneaked off campus together on a date." My index finger traces the braided tassel on the corner of the pillow I'm leaning on. What else is there to say? "We're not together anymore, if that's what worries you."

Toga is silent for a long moment. "It might be worth tracking him down after this. You're going to need someone who knows how to control their impulses."

That wasn't quite the reaction I'd expected, but it's a sensible approach, all the same. Toga's being a lot more pragmatic about this than I'd have given him credit for. Even though he kills vampires for a living, he's being supportive, and even suggesting that I work with vampires to get through this.

I just wouldn't have expected a hunter to be so chill about this.

Then again, since he and Cross are good friends, I wonder if the headmaster's philosophy has rubbed off on him a bit. Or maybe it's just because I'm his daughter.

"Oh," I say after a moment of thinking. "I can't really talk to Takuma."

Cross frowns at me. "Why not?"

I shift uncomfortably. "My phone got destroyed tonight."

"Do you know where that happened? Maybe the SIM card is still okay," Toga suggests rather lamely.

"I can try to find it…" But I know it's a lost cause. From the looks of things, Toga knows it, too.

Finding that SIM card is going to be a breeze to moving on with my life after this. I mean, if I'd kept dating Takuma, I might've one day wanted to be a vampire, myself. But I didn't get a choice.

Do I say goodbye to my friends and family forever, now, just to keep them safe from me? What if I can't keep my new cravings in check when I see people I know and love? Or strangers on the street, for that matter. And just dropping out of school to get a job…

Well, I suppose that was the whole point of college, to try and get better qualifications for a job. And as a vampire, who's to say I can't work at the Association for a little while and then go to college in a few years if I want to study something specific? And if I don't like hunter work, then I'll burn with that bridge when I come to it. For the time being, the Association sounds like it would be a great place to learn about what I am now, and how to deal with it.

And if I end up losing control, there's no safer place for the world at large than to have me in a building full of people trained to deal with that kind of problem.

Though I might end up dead, in that case. I suppose I'd better work really hard on self-control.

I hope I can find Takuma and ask him for help. He would help me, or at least direct me to someone who could.

"One thing is certain," Cross says finally, "we need to get you moved out today, and the sooner the better. Toga, you have a place where she can stay?"

He slowly gets to his feet with a grunt. "Yeah. We'll find her an apartment this week, but in the meantime, she can stay with me." It's probably the safest option.

"So I have to say goodbye to my parents," I say. "And Etsuko, and everyone."

Toga frowns. "Etsuko is your roommate?" I nod. "If she's there, you can say goodbye, but we won't be parading through the dormitories trading farewells with everyone you've ever met."

Okay, you know what? That's it. I find myself standing without remembering getting up. Just for added gravitas, I raise my chin to look down my nose at him. "I've had a really rough night, and my future is changed forever. I didn't ask for my entire life to be uprooted like this. If I want to say goodbye to a couple of friends, then dammit, I'm going to do it!" I huff for a moment, staring at Cross and Toga's blank faces. A little more meekly, I continue. "And if you don't want to tag along, then box up my things while I say goodbye, probably forever, to a couple of friends."

Cross and Toga exchange glances in the wake of my outburst. "She's certainly yours," Cross mutters as he shuffles forward to collect the tea tray.

Toga is quiet for a long moment. It's probably really rude and ungrateful of me to act like that, when he's also going to be making a lot of changes in his life that he didn't plan for. I'm now in his life, and he's letting not only me stay with him, but all of my dorm things. He's going to train me, give me a job, help me find an apartment.

Perhaps I should've been more diplomatic in my phrasing, but I stand by what I said. I should be allowed to say goodbye to Etsuko and Mori, at the very least. It's not like I'll be making the rounds to everyone I've ever known at Cross.

"It's just a few people," I say quietly. "Sorry I yelled."

Toga stares at me, calculating. "I'm surprised you didn't yell sooner. You're taking this better than I expected."

Déjà vu. Takuma's face swims up in my mind. We're holding hands across a table in a café on our last ever date.

Am I going to go to pieces again?

Honestly? Probably. There will be nightmares and crying and sleeplessness, and goodness knows what else.

I really hope I can find Takuma.

A horrible little voice in the back of my mind wonders, what if I don't?

Then I'll have to get through it somehow, regardless. It'll just be easier with him, that's all. But I can't rely on him. I need to be my own rescuer from now on.

"For now," I respond belatedly. "Say that again later tonight when I wake up screaming." I swallow heavily and wrap my arms around myself. I really shouldn't cry. Come on, Hikari. Don't cry, not yet. You have work to do.

A hand lands on my head and musses my hair gently. I look up into Toga's blue gaze. He doesn't seem like an especially tender person, but there's something soft about his expression. I bite my lip. Don't cry. Don't cry, Hikari. There will be plenty of time for that later.

"You'll get through this," Toga says in a low voice. "You'll go through hell and come out stronger for it."

I hope so, I want to say, but nothing comes out. Instead, I nod. "Thanks," I say, then frown. "What should I call you?"

"Hm?" He looks at me strangely. It was a weird subject change.

I shrug apologetically. "Should I call you 'sir?' Or 'father?' Yagari-san?"

His hand slides off of my head. "Call me whatever you want," he says finally. "Call me Toga. Whatever you want."

"Toga-san," I say after a moment.

"Just… just Toga." He holds up a placating hand, then shoves it into his pocket before pulling out a box of cigarettes. With a practiced hand, he shakes the box so that one cigarette rises above the others and he places it between his lips, letting it remain there unlit. "We should be on our way. The sun will be up soon, and you won't want to be outside for that."

I blink. "I'm not going to fry, am I?"

Toga gives a funny sort of laugh. "No, but it'll be uncomfortable as hell."

Oh, that's right. I've seen Takuma and the Night Class out before sunset before, and Zero is always out during the day. They might just be used to it, but Toga's words make sense. Well, it's natural for me to be jumpy and paranoid.

That's what I'm telling myself, anyway.

Before we head to the dorms, I go to the kitchen to say goodbye to Cross. I stop in the doorway, seeing him at the sink, elbows-deep in dishwater, and a frilly pink apron around his waist.

How have I not seen that before?

The absurdity of it makes something in my brain snap, and I giggle. Hearing me, Cross turns around, and I see it's got a pattern of little kitty faces and cupcakes. It's so silly! But it's so very, very classic Cross.

At least some things never change.

Then I get an image in my head of Cross as a wrinkled old man, still wearing that same pink apron, still prancing around the academy, though with the help of a cane.

I slump against the doorway and grab onto it to keep from falling over as I keep laughing. It's not even all that funny!

Cross frowns at me in concern. "Hikari-chan, are you all right?"

I snicker, trying hard to calm myself down. Of course, it only makes matters worse.

It's a long time before I've calmed down. Breathing is hard, now, and my cheeks are wet with tears. I giggle again as I look back at Cross. Hands on hips, he stands there with an understanding smile. "I'm sorry," I gasp.

"It is a rather silly apron," he says, and I choke on another fit of giggles. "What can I do for you?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. It's silly, but it's not that funny. I don't know what's wrong with me."

"You've had a shock," he says simply. "It's enough to make anyone go a little funny for a minute."

I'm reminded again of how incredibly nice he can be. "I wanted to say thank you," I say. "You've done so much for me—the lessons, and dinners, tea, and… everything tonight. Thank you."

He doesn't speak, but his eyes are warm as he looks back at me. "It's been my privilege, Hikari-chan. Are you off to the dorms? It'll be sunrise, soon."

I nod. "Toga-san, er, Toga and I are off, yes."

He adjusts his glass. "I know I'm expelling you, now, and I am sorry that I can't do more for you. I told you once that my door was always open to you. That still stands." He smiles. "Toga has my private number; he'll give it to you. Call me anytime, day or night. I've dealt with a lot of vampires in my time, and I've seen a lot of things. If I can be of assistance, don't hesitate to reach out." His smile grows a little friendlier. "Even if you just need to rant to someone about that that sourpuss you call a father."

"I heard that," Toga snaps as he appears behind me in the doorway. "If you two saps are about done?"

Cross waves his hand around and turns back to the sink. "Of course, I wouldn't expect you to understand what having an emotion is like. Poor Hikari-chan is going to have a much harder time adjusting to life with you than to life as a vampire."

Toga crosses his arms. "Better than life with you. At least she won't have to put up with your cooking."

Cross raises his hand to his chest, feigning offence. "How dare you! She'll be here from time to time, won't you, Hikari-chan?"

Am I going to have two dads on this side of the family? Because they really seem like an old married couple. Though there are worse parents than Kaien Cross, I suppose. "Of course," I say after a pause. I will be back. If Cross wants me, then I owe him a Sunday night dinner from time to time. I may try to go without Toga, though, if all they're going to do is banter while I watch.

"See? She likes my cooking."

"I never said that," I mumble, and I can practically watch Cross's soul leave his body.

"Told you," Toga retorts. He turns on heel and heads for the hallway. "Come on. We need to get going."

I look back at Cross. "I never said I disliked it, exactly," I supply belatedly. "I really would love to come back and visit."

Cross gives me a smile. "I look forward to it. And I promise to work on my cooking."

I grin at him. "So will I. I can bring dessert, if you cook dinner?"

"Done," he says. "I wish you all the best, Hikari-chan."

"Goodbye, Headmaster," I say, and then I follow Toga down the hall of the administrative building and into the woods around campus.

We head toward the area where I thought Yamaguchi broke my cell phone, though as I expected, we couldn't find a trace of it. Nothing but dead leaves and pine needles.

So I need to find Takuma another way.

Inside the lobby of the Sun Dormitory is a large crowd of students, talking nervously, waiting for word of what's going on. Of course, the second the doors open, everyone turns to us. I start, then force my feet to move. This is the last time I'll enter this dormitory as a student.

I suppose the day was coming up in about four months when I'd have done that, anyway. But I won't get to fill the lobby with old homework assignments, per the tradition for graduating seniors. I won't get to take graduation day selfies with my friends, or go through that routine of emotionally telling acquaintances to "stay in touch," when we know that neither of us mean it, and we're just getting preemptively nostalgic.

Maybe it's better this way. I never have been very good at goodbyes.

"Hikari-chan!" I look over to see Mori working his way through the crowd toward us. "What happened? Etsuko-chan has been going nuts!"

I wince. "Come on. I'm heading up to our room now. I can explain everything to both of you."

"Not without me!" Ichihara appears behind us. "I need details."

I roll my eyes. "You can't wait for Etsuko to tell you later?" I ask. That was a little rude of me, but I can't quite bring myself to care just yet.

Ichihara looks behind me, and turns a little pale at the sight of Toga. Well, that's fair enough—he's not exactly a fluffy teddy bear. "Maybe I'll just… yeah, I'll wait for Etsuko-chan to tell me everything later," she says. "Sorry."

There's a twinge of guilt in the back of my head. "No, I'm sorry. Come on. I've just had a really long night."

Her brown eyes are a little suspicious. "You sure?"

I nod. "Come on. If Etsuko's going to tell you everything later, you may as well hear it firsthand."

The four of us head upstairs to my room, when I remember that I lost my keys. I rap loudly on the door, hoping Etsuko isn't asleep. When less than five seconds later, she opens the door, I see she probably hasn't slept all night. "Hikari!" Immediately, her arms are tight around me. "You're okay!"

I hug her back, once again fighting back tears. "I'm sorry, Etsuko, I'm so sorry."

Wordlessly, we stand there for several moments until Toga sighs loudly. We break apart and Toga sidles past us into the room. "Which side is yours?" he asks gruffly.

I sniff and blink hard. "It's the left side," I call inside, then follow him.

"You're leaving?" Etsuko asks, eyes wide and very wet. "Why?" Her face is pale. She knows something is up. Gee, what would give her that feeling? Could it be the tall, one-eyed man with a rifle strapped to his back, or the fact that I was out all night while our school was being attacked by vampires? The fact that I'm abruptly leaving without notice?

"We should all go in," I say quietly. "I'll explain everything."

"But hurry up," Toga says roughly.

I glare at him. "For pity's sake, let me explain things! We're not in that much of a time crunch."

Toga stares at me long and hard, then sighs. "Do you have a trunk or suitcase or anything?"

"Under the bed," I say, and sit down on Etsuko's bed. I do not have enough energy to pack and talk at the same time. Three faces blink at me expectantly.

"So… I got kidnapped last night by one of those insane vampires," I say finally.

Ichihara's eyes go wide while Mori looks willfully blank. Etsuko closes her eyes for a long moment.

"Long story short, I got… um… I'm a vampire, now." I swallow. That's the first time I've said those words. They feel wrong in my mouth, somehow. "Cross has disbanded the Night Class, so there's no place for me here, anymore."

Silence.

Though I don't know what else I expected.

Then come the rough sounds of Toga dragging my trunk from under my bed so he can start roughly throwing clothes into it.

At that rate, he'll fit maybe half of what he could pack into my trunk. I sigh and stand up. Is he packing this way just to make me get up and help? I mean, I was always going to help, but emotionally, there are different priorities. "Why don't you get your car or whatever we're going to use to get to the train station?" I suggest evenly. "I can start packing."

Toga rolls his eye. "Brat."

"Grump," I retort. If he's going to just insult me, then I'm going to give it back to him.

But he doesn't seem overly offended, and instead turns to leave. "I'll be back in five minutes," he says, closing the door behind him.

There's still silence in the room. "You're a vampire, now?" Etsuko asks weakly. "You don't look like one."

"None of the Night Class ever did," Ichihara points out.

"I'd really like to keep it that way," I say. "I don't know how to deal with it yet. I just… really don't want to test my limits yet."

Mori nods in quiet understanding.

Again, we're all silent for a bit. After a long moment, I look down into my trunk, where wrinkled uniforms and clothing are tossed in disarray. I should start putting that to rights. If Toga gets back and nothing has been done, he won't be pleased.

But I can't make my arms move yet.

"So… what are you going to do?" Mori asks.

"Toga has offered me a job at the Vampire Hunters' Association," I say.

"But you're a vampire!" Ichihara points out at the same time that Mori asks, "Toga-san?" Etsuko is still quiet.

"Toga Yagari," I say. "The guy who was just here. He's… he's my birth dad."

Etsuko sits down on her mattress. Ichihara folds her arms and opens her mouth, though she doesn't say anything. "So you found that out tonight, too?" Mori asks.

I nod. "It's been quite a night."

"I'd say."

"So… what's it like? Being a vampire," Ichihara asks. She reaches up to twirl a strand of her brown hair around one finger, looking more restless than anything.

I shrug. "So far, it's not that different, except that I can't stay with my family or here at school anymore. I've panicked a lot."

Mori nods. "So… you're a vampire… and you'll be working at a place where they hunt vampires?"

"Yeah." I really should start folding clothing. I reach down into the trunk and pull out the first thing I see, which is the green sweater Takuma bought for me on our last date. "They're only supposed to hunt down insane vampires. Level Es."

"Level Es?" Ichihara repeats. I nod.

"Will you be actually hunting them down, like a mercenary?" Mori asks.

Before I can answer, Etsuko stands up. Her hands are balled into fists, and she's trembling. "Why would you work there?" she asks in a low tone. "They couldn't even be bothered to keep you safe tonight."

I want to say something altruistic, like how maybe I can help other people from becoming vampires like I did. Maybe I can make a difference there.

But I can't.

"I know," I say. "But I have nowhere else to go where I can learn about what I am and how to… not attack people."

"You've not attacked any of us yet!" Etsuko says hotly, and again, her eyes are brimming with tears. "I don't see why you can't stay here! This isn't right!"

I swallow. Etsuko is shaking, now. "I don't want to press my luck with any of you," I say finally. "I might accidentally kill you if I forget to take my blood tablets or… or if one of you gets a cut or something."

The first tear lands on her cheek and she shakes her head. "No. This isn't right."

I drop the sweater and hug her tightly. "No, it's not," I say, and then I'm crying, too. "No, it's not! I don't want to go."

And for a long time, nothing is said.

Finally, Toga knocks on the door, and Ichihara lets him in. Etsuko and I break apart. Thankfully, Toga has enough sense not to say anything, and I pick up the sweater and fold it carefully. Ichihara reaches into the trunk and begins to help while Etsuko retreats to the en suite. I can hear her blowing her nose. It's several minutes before she returns, but when she does, it's with my bathroom caddy, full of most of my toiletries.

We pack in silence for a long while before Mori finally asks, "Yagari-san, why didn't the Association do anything to prevent tonight?"

Toga is silent for a very long time, and Mori and I exchange a glance. He realizes he's asked something he maybe shouldn't have. I open my mouth to speak, but Toga shakes his head at me. He inhales deeply through his nose. "The Association needs a lot of work. The president actually conspired against Cross along with the Senate to attack Cross Academy."

"And why should Hikari work for you there, then?" Etsuko asks sharply. "Why would she be safe there?"

"Because after tonight's casualties, we need a new president and a new board." He sighs deeply. "I'm one of the senior hunters, there. I'm in a good position to make it safe for her. And for Cross Academy."

I can only hope, anyway. I think I can trust Toga to help keep me safe, at any rate. If he wasn't there, I don't think I'd go.

But is there anywhere else I could go?

I move to my nightstand, where Takuma's manga still sits, and I have to fight off another urge to cry. I pick it up and flip through it, and a slip of paper falls to the ground. It's a little yellow Post-It with a cell phone number written on it.

Rima Toya.

I gasp and sit down on the edge of my now-bare mattress. "What is it?" Mori asks.

"Toya-senpai gave me her number," I breathe. "In case I found out what happened to Takuma." Was that really only three days ago? It feels like an absolute lifetime.

Ichihara frowns. "So… she'll give you Ichijo-senpai's number?"

I nod. "And maybe she can help me, now that I'm… like this." Reflexively, I reach for my phone, but then remember that I don't have one anymore. That's another thing I need to do soon. "Etsuko, can I borrow your phone?" I ask.

She nods and hands it to me. I dial Toya's number, and wait as it rings. And rings. And rings.

"Hello?" a guarded voice finally says, accompanied by the intermittent static of someone who's talking outside.

"Toya-senpai?" I ask. "It's Hikari Yagari."

There's a pause on the other end. "Hi," she finally says, clearly unsure why I'm bothering her. "Can this wait?"

"Sorry," I say. "I'll be quick. Can you send me Takuma's number? I lost my phone last night."

Again, there's a faint bit of noise on the line as a breeze rolls in. "Sure, but I don't know how much good it'll do you."

"Huh?"

"He's missing. No one's seen him since yesterday morning."

I sit down on the mattress again. "Oh."

There's a long pause on the other end. "We're looking for him right now, but I don't know what we'll find."

I don't say anything for a long moment, instead staring at the rug on our hardwood floor. It's teal and green, very mod. I picked it out when I was fourteen and I'd just gotten accepted into Cross Academy. It doesn't go with anything else in the room.

"Hello? Yagari-chan?"

The phone is roughly snatched by Etsuko. "Toya-senpai? This is Etsuko, Hikari's roommate. She got turned into a vampire last night. Ichijo-senpai or no, can you help her?"

Takuma's missing.

Deep breaths, Hikari. Inhale—one, two, three, four, five… and out.

"Uh-huh. Of course. No, this is my phone. She can text you once she gets a new one."

Missing.

"Oh, god. No, after what Hikari said yesterday… Uh-huh. Wow. I'm sorry. No, she's having a hard time processing everything right now. Yeah. Of course. Thank you so much. And good luck."

"What did she say?" Toga asks.

"She says that Hikari should text her once she gets a new phone, and she'll figure out something then." Etsuko shrugs. "She and Shiki-senpai are looking for Ichijo-senpai. He's been missing since yesterday morning. Hikari was one of the last people to see him."

"Damn," Mori breathes.

Toga inhales slowly through his nose. "We'll get through this somehow. Ichijo-san isn't the only one who can get you through this."

"But he's missing," I say finally. "What if he's not safe? Or if he got killed yesterday?"

Toga is quiet for a long moment. "Then if that's the case, I'm sorry. But there's not a lot we can do without any leads."

"Then we have to search for leads!" I snap. "Toya-senpai and Shiki-senpai are looking for him, but we could, too!"

Toga's one blue eye stares at me coldly. "As hard as this is for you to hear, you need to realize that there may be nothing we can do. And there's certainly not much you can do as a brand-new vampire."

"Then who else to help teach me how than people who have been vampires all their lives?"

"Someone who used to be human and who's learned how to deal with the change!" Toga snaps. "If you go to the Association, Zero can help you."

No one moves in the aftermath of this statement. I can see in Mori, Etsuko, and Ichihara's eyes that none of them knew about Kiryu.

I swallow. "Can I at least try?"

Toga's gaze becomes hard. "You're an adult, and I can't stop you from doing whatever you want. But I can tell you that the Association is going to be the best solution for you. Let Shiki-kun and Toya-kun search for Ichijo-kun. You need to take care of yourself, first."

I open my mouth to speak, but Toga overrides me. "Wasn't the whole point of you finding Ichijo-kun to have him help you?"

"I don't see why that means that I can't help him," I say.

"Because you can't, yet." Toga's voice is steely and ice-cold. "You're a newborn vampire. Once you've learned your physical limits and how they affect your thirst, and once you've learned to deal with being in the presence of blood and how to control yourself, then you can go looking for him. But until then, you're going to be more hindrance than help."

He's right.

Dammit, he's right.

Maybe… maybe Toya and Shiki will find him soon, and I'm worrying for nothing. He said he had something to do—maybe all he did was go really far away and that's why no one's found him. Or he just got knocked unconscious and he'll be fine once he wakes up.

I nod mutely.

I hope he'll be okay.

I hope I will be, too.

Everyone is pretty quiet after that as we pack my things into my trunk. Toga disappears to the canteen to scavenge for cardboard boxes to put my books in. Within two hours, my side of the room is bare. I stare up at the Gazette poster on Etsuko's side of the room, thinking of how when I first saw it three and a half years ago, I wondered if we'd ever get along if that was her taste in music. I never thought we'd be best friends.

I still don't like Gazette.

I look over at Etsuko, who looks tired. She was probably up for most of the night. Weak streams of sunlight through the window light up dust motes in the air behind her. I sigh. "I'll keep in touch," I tell her. "I promise."

"You'd better," she says with a sad smile. "Once you get things sorted out, can you come back and visit?"

I shrug. "I'll try. I don't know how slow I'll be, but I'll really try."

She nods, and then leans forward to hug me. "Take care of yourself," she whispers. "Don't spend all your paychecks on manga."

I giggle, then sniff. Not again. I inhale slowly. "And you be sure not to stay up too late gossiping with Ichihara-chan." Etsuko laughs weakly at that.

"I'll miss being your roommate," she says as we separate.

"Me, too." I look over at Mori. "And I'll miss sending sarcastic notes to you in class."

He smiles crookedly. "Me, too. They're half of what made Chemistry bearable." He reaches out his hand. "Don't be a stranger, okay?" I shake his hand and nod.

"And you, Ichihara-chan…" I stop for a moment, wondering what to say. "I actually will miss you," I finally say. "Please, if you're ever in town, look me up. We can get coffee or something and you can catch me up."

She nods with a funny half-smile. "Sure thing. Take care, Yagari-chan."

With that, Toga and I carry the last of our boxes out to Cross's car, which is waiting by the front steps of the dormitory. The sunlight is bright and fierce, more so than it should be for a ten o'clock on a cloudy winter day. Toga was right about it being different. But soon we're in the car, pulling away from Cross Academy.

I look up at my dorm window and see Etsuko, Mori, and Ichihara waving down at me. I roll down the window and wave back until I can't see them anymore.

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