Chapter the Twelth: "At Haven's Gates"

Author's Note: Hullo lovelies! Here is the next chapter, hope you enjoy it. Thank you for all the reviews, especially Kyla for reviewing so many chapters! I am going to try and answer a few questions I've gotten in my inbox as well:

*No, Megara is not a blood mage.
*I don't know how many chapters this will be yet. A lot.
*Yes, "Silence is Golden" is about Megara's life before this. No, I won't be releasing it until I've finished this.
*Because for some reason it is confusing a lot of readers, I will go into a small amount of the detail from where Megara knows Flemeth. For the full story, you'll have to wait to read Silence is Golden. At one point, Megara had traveled to Merrill's clan in the Brecilian Forest to carry a message. She learns Merrill's secret and attempts to assassinate her as she is worshipping Flemeth at the altar on the mountain. Flemeth intervenes. That is ALL I will say about that for now.
*Lol...no, Megara's children are not the Hawke twins that Leandra "took in". Megara is not that old.

Her lungs were screaming for proper air, burning from the exertion she'd pushed herself to. After Flemeth had left her, she'd grumbled and sulked about the small camp. She kicked the dirt, she yelled at the trees, she sobbed. Finally, she resolved to go back. She hated, hated admitting Flemeth had been right to herself. Maker's breath I hate that batty old bitch! Moments later as her footsteps pounded through the woods, she'd tripped and fallen face first. "Very funny" she muttered, standing up to brush herself off and continue hurtling herself back to camp. Dawn was fast approaching. Warden Tara was always up and about at first light. No one would check her tent that early, but she certainly couldn't enter camp unseen if someone was up other than the watch and last night, she was supposed to be on watch.

Her side was aching, her calves were locking up. Not much further. She pushed on, pell mell through the forest. She cursed her own stubbornness, had she left shortly after Flemeth, she could walked back instead of running like she had a rabid pack of Darkspawn at her heels. Could've taken the leisurely route. Oooo, look, here we have some Fereldan shrubs! Stunning...I put the blasted stew up for her, though, didn't I!? Coming upon the clearing which housed the camp from that night, she came to an abrupt halt to catch her breath and survey the surroundings. Sunlight was just beginning to creep through the trees. Not seeing anyone, she slipped to her tent and put her pack and staff inside. Stretching her limbs out before she climbed in, she realized just how exhausted she was.

"Megara! Good, you're already awake. I want to get an early start today, we're nearly at Haven. Can you give me a hand with this?" Tara called.

Bloody hell. Sighing, she turned to go and help Tara.

Megara had nearly fallen from her horse in exhaustion several times. When they'd packed to leave, she'd noticed Morrigan's note missing and then Zevran's she'd burned. Nodding off on her horse again, she awoke to a sharp jab in her side. Morrigan was grinning mischievously beside her on her own horse.

"Shape shifting all night, were we?" she asked saucily.

"I didn't think anyone had seen me!" Megara hissed in surprise, checking to make sure they were far enough behind everyone else so as not to be heard.

"Oh I see everything. As does Mother...now what did she have to say?" Morrigan's triumphant grin both annoyed and amused Megara.

Leaving out the part about her powers, she told Morrigan everything, as the horses headed up the mountain path to Haven. Morrigan had thanked her for the mirror, a rare moment of emotion.

"I'll never understand why women allow themselves to become so enchanted by men and make fools of themselves, though. What were you thinking?" Morrigan asked, not even a hint of sarcasm in her voice.

"There will come a day when you find your own self under such a powerful spell, witch!" she spat, venom and conviction in her voice. She is haughty now, but I suspect she's never known a lover's touch, not even when she said she was going to the Pearl. That will change her damned pessimistic view, alright!

"My, my." Morrigan replied, sounding genuinely surprised at her outburst. "So...you truly do not know where the bast...babes are?" her dark friend inquired lightly.

"No," she frowned. "They're not babes any longer. They will be going on four years old now." Only the fact that she was too tired to cry kept her from breaking down again.

"What would you have named them?" Morrigan asked suddenly.

She whipped her head over to look at the witch riding beside her. Oddly, there was not a trace of spite or malice in Morrigan's face. Only a sad sort of curiosity mixed with something even Megara couldn't identify. Perplexed at the sudden change of mood, coupled with the strange question, she paused.

"I...I truly never thought of it. From the moment Cailan rejected me, I knew I would have to give my child up for the assurance of their survival. I didn't allow myself such a fanciful thought." She clicked to her horse, spurring his pace to catch the others who were dismantling up ahead.

"A wise choice but an unwise lie" Morrigan whispered hollowly behind her.

She had whispered his name, though, her son. Only once. Dizzy from the pain of childbirth and the heartache of having her babe ripped from her, she had indeed whispered his name. "Baihlles." Closing her eyes she had prayed to every god she could think of that her child's parents would hear the whisper carried on the wind, from a heartsick mother. When she opened her eyes, the Keeper had gone. It was some minutes before she'd felt the pressure of the second child coming. She was too weak.

Having left the horses off the trail and with Sten to guard them, the rest of the group hiked by foot up the hill. Megara was numb to her exhaustion, lost in thought. Zevran's carousing and Alistair's poor jokes couldn't break her silence, nor her frown. They were very nearly to Haven, the only path up the steep mountainside being a rocky trail shaded by pine trees. The traveling was slow, it wasn't a wide path and Leliana kept stopping to pluck herbs from the ground.

When at last they came around a turn in the path which opened to a small clearing, Tara called a halt to rest and eat from their packs. Alistair pulled Megara aside.

"Hey. Look, I know you're busy brooding and all and normally I'd just sit back and enjoy it and laugh...but are you okay?"

Megara was floored. He looked...genuinely concerned. She could nothing but gape at him.

"Oh, Maker don't look at me like that. If Grey senses a disturbance he may eat me up. I just, well, I haven't been very nice to you but seeing you today concerned me. We're a team, we're in this together. To stop the Blight. So we need to be there for each other. Aaaand I just thought, I'd let you know I was there. Or here. For you I mean." He was fumbling over his words, but smiling. His cockeyed grin was goofy but infectious. She smiled back at him. His golden hair was gleaming in the sunlight and he lightly put a hand on her arm.

"Thank you, Alistair. Truly. I've not been on my best behaviour either and I'm sorry. Today I'm just tired and a little sad. Thinking about all we've lost. But I will be fine, especially with friends like you to help me."

He had surprised her even further by pulling her into a quick, crushing hug. The embrace had elicited a look from no less than everyone else in their party. Leliana was outright frowning, Zevran arched an eyebrow and kicked at the dirt, Morrigan's icy glare went unnoticed in the shadows and Tara looked as if someone had kicked her in the stomach.

"Good!" Alistair released her and clapped her on the shoulder clumsily. "Because while we're losing things you can pretend to lose to me at Wicked Grace tonight" he said and bounded off.

* Megara's son's name is pronounced "Ba-uh-leez". Rhymes with Achilles. What do you think now? Is Morrigan conspiring with Flemeth? Will Megara's little lies ruin her friendship with the witch or will they catch up with her? Why is Alistair changing his tune towards her? He IS Cailan's brother, looking a bit like him. Uh-oh. There are some jealous vibes going on now, how will that change the dynamics of the group?