Okay…I'M SORRY!!

I'm sorry it took so long for me to update!! I was going to do it about a week ago, but my memory stick was upstairs and I couldn't be bothered to go get it, then I've been busy and I forgotted and stuffs so PLEASE DON'T MURDER ME!!

I'm now off to make an almost identical apology to the readers of my Dr Who fic; Time Shift…oh boy…

I'm kinda nervous about this chapter…It's changed a lot…

Picture: wwwDOTpellinormadpeepsDOTmyfreeforumDOTorg/sutra6906.php6906

PS will SOMEONE tell me what they think of the pictures? 109 reviews and not a single person has mentioned them -sad face-

REPRISE: Maerad bent down and picked up a small piece of paper. It said simply, "The spaces between my fingers were meant to be filled with yours." It was unsigned, but she knew who it was from and smiled. She kept it safe under her pillow that night.

ELEVEN

In the land of mist,
I look for my lost love,
My heart has forgotten
The path to the above,
And I search with purpose.
I find a hateful site,
A land filled with darkness,
No love and no light.

Blinded by this endless night,
I fly to the highest height,
In search of what I cannot find.
Lost in an endless night,
I fight my fight,
And death is my sight.

A broken soul in a broken land,
A single tear shall fall,
I stand alone with sword in hand,
And listen for the call,
And at my final stand,
I crumble and I fall.

A blackness envelops me,
Devours me and then releases me,
A bright sky can be seen without a sun,
A land for the dead and the place where I am,
Finally dead and free to live,
I see my love come to welcome me,
With open arms he stands,
And I am finally home past mortal life in the eternal lands.

Thorkon of Turbansk

CHAPTER ELEVEN

On the last day of normality before they had to leave, Maerad and Cadvan went down to the field early to fetch Darsor and Imi. They rode bareback up to the stables, and put the horses into their looseboxes. There was still a certain amount of tension between them. Indik appeared when they were there, and asked to see how Maerad had progressed with her swordskills. He found them both a sword, and Maerad and Indik staged a mock-fight. Almost half of the time, Maerad disarmed him, and she could see that he was very pleased. Cadvan also noted this, from his spot sitting on the fence, and gave a small smile.

"You've come on a lot," Indik told her after around half an hour, and Maerad took this as the highest praise - which it was, coming from him - and threw her arms around his neck. He patted her back a little awkwardly, and Maerad let go. Cadvan jumped down from the fence.

"And now, perhaps, it is my turn," he said. "I should like to fight with both of you. Perhaps Indik first?" The two men began to circle as Maerad went to sit down on the spot that Cadvan had just left. They didn't fight for long - perhaps ten minutes - and then Maerad fought Cadvan. Again, Maerad was well able to keep up and disarmed Cadvan just under half of the time. Finally, Maerad and Cadvan left Indik and made their way to the garden where the fountain with the seat was, after first making a detour to the kitchens to pick up some lunch. They came out with some sweet pastries and fruit juice, as well as an apple each. They sat on the seat around the fountain. After a while, Maerad managed to ask: "Why were you being so strange yesterday?"

"I wasn't," he said.

"Yes, you were."

"Yes, I was," he admitted.

"So why?"

"Because…" He paused for a long time, and eventually continued on what seemed a totally different track. "Maerad, I want to tell you that I am over Ceredin. I understand that I made a mistake, a very bad one at that, but I didn't kill her." He wasn't looking at her; instead, he was staring at the floor. "I miss her, but I don't love her in the way I used to. That's what I was trying to tell you yesterday." He looked up at her now. "That dream I had about her - she told me to stop using her as an excuse."

"An excuse against what?"

"An excuse…against falling in love."Maerad narrowed her eyes at him. "Are you saying that…" she trailed off hesitantly.

"I'm saying…that I have feelings for you…that are more than friendship. Do you understand me?"

"Oh…Yes, um…I mean…" She laughed nervously, and a little colour rose to her cheeks. Cadvan was biting his lip.

"Are you…Is that alright?" Maerad looked up at him. She wasn't sure how she felt yet, but she did know that she cared for the man now gazing at her with anxious eyes more than she had cared for anybody before. Was that love? she wondered. To allay her instinctual fears, she gently tried to enter his mind. He seemed surprised and a little confused, but he trusted her and let down his defences. She saw no bad intentions, only truth, and love for her.

"I don't really know how I feel," Maerad warned him hesitantly but honestly, "but yes; it's alright."

Cadvan looked relieved and disappointed at the same time, and just nodded. Maerad regarded him for a moment, her brow furrowed a little. Slowly, she touched her lips to his, just briefly. Cadvan leaned forward as she pulled away, as though he wanted more, but sat back. He smiled, a small, nervous smile.

"Well?" he asked, halfway to a joke and yet deathly serious.

Maerad didn't answer, but kissed him softly again, a fraction longer this time.

"Does that answer your question?" she asked.

"Yes, I suppose it does," he replied lightly. She could hear the smile in his voice. They sat there for a long time in silence.

"I feel like Hem should come tomorrow," Maerad said eventually. Cadvan frowned.

"So do I. I think he yet has his part to play."

"I think we should ask Malgorn to let him come. Young he may be, but he has already proven himself capable."

Cadvan nodded. "You are right. Let's go and find him now." They hurried, hand in hand, to Silvia and Malgorn's house, where Silvia told them that Malgorn was with Indik. If she noticed that they were holding hands, she said nothing. They found Malgorn talking to Indik about tactics. When he saw them, he greeted them quickly then explained: "We are going to send the best fighters to the front line, with mages to support and protect them. We are going to force Sharma out by setting fire to the Tower, and then it will be up to you Maerad."

"What about me?" Cadvan asked.

"You will be with the mages," Indik told him.

"I'm going with Maerad."

"Cadvan, you can't -" Malgorn began.

"I'm going with Maerad," Cadvan repeated stubbornly. "We can't just leave her to do it alone."

"Alright," Malgorn agreed. "I suppose you're right."

"We…also think that Hem should come," Maerad said.

"He's too young," Indik replied.

"He has already proved himself," Maerad pointed out. "Cadvan and I both feel that he should come."

"Well, then, it is up to him. I do not wish to go against both of your Knowings, though I don't want to send a child to battle."

"He's no ordinary child," Maerad said. "And he has already complained that he cannot come." They left soon after, and went to tell Hem to prepare to leave. He had been staying with Silvia, Malgorn and Saliman, and Silvia helped him - although she complained profusely about him being allowed to go to battle - to prepare. Maerad and Cadvan walked a little way together, then parted with a kiss on the cheek, to go to their own houses and prepare their things; they needed a little food (although supplies would be carried by cart along with them), and Maerad took the tuning fork, feeling empty at the loss of her lyre which her fingers itched to play. She placed Cadvan's necklace carefully on her bedside table, ready to put on in the morning.

Cadvan was woken in the dead of night by a frantic knocking on his door. He was a light sleeper through habit, and immediately sat up and went to his door. He looked through the peephole to see Maerad. As soon as he opened the door, she pushed in and threw her arms around him.

"Cadvan…" she whispered. Her put one arm around her, closed the door and put his other arm around her.

"What's the matter, my sweet?" he murmured.

"I'm so scared," she admitted, her face hidden in his shoulder.

"I'm scared too," he confessed. "Shall I show you what I do when I get scared?"

"Yes," Maerad whispered. Cadvan let go of her, but put one arm around her waist to guide her outside. He lay down on his back on the grass and Maerad followed suit, confused. Cadvan held her hand and pointed up at the sky with his other hand.

"What do you see?"

"The sky."

"And?"

"The stars. They're pretty. I always call Ilion my star."

"Do you want to know what I see?" He saw her nodding out of the corner of his eye. "I see forever. Eternal. But, unlike the Elementals, the stars are happy in their immortal state."

"How do you know they're happy?" Cadvan turned his head and looked at her.

"How could one glow so brightly and sparkle night after night if one were not happy?" He looked up at the sky again. "Whenever I feel scared, I look up at the stars - or think of them if it is the day - and I think, whatever happens, the stars will still be there. If the whole of Edil-Amarandh were wiped out tomorrow, the stars would still be there. They are the lightness that keeps us sane even when everything seems so dark." Maerad was entranced by his words and gazed at him. "We can draw our strength from them, if we need to, or simply watch them and wonder at their beauty." He looked to her. "I do not pretend that I am not still scared. But do you not feel calmer?"

"I feel tiny," Maerad replied with a small laugh.

"Do you want to come in?"

"Yes, please." They stood up and Cadvan let them back into his cottage. He sat on the sofa and as Maerad sat next to him he pulled her close to him and held her tight. He went to kiss the top of her head, but she looked up at him at that exact moment and his lips met hers instead. He kissed her long, but did not deepen it.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too," she breathed. Cadvan kissed her nose and said:

"Sleep now. There is no use in worrying."

"Here?"

"If you want."

"Sing me to sleep," she implored, shifting to be more comfortable.

"Sing…? Alright." She heard him take a breath, and then he began to sing softly in his deep voice, a song very familiar to her. A song that made her think of her mother.

Sleep, my pretty one, the day is over

Sleep, my darling one, night is falling

The sun bends down to her star-crowned lover

The hare sleeps now in her scented clover

And the brindled owl is calling

Sleep, my pretty one, the night is coming

Sleep, my darling one, night is here

Soon you will ride a ship of gleaming

Silver light with your soft hair streaming

Bright on the darkling air

She was asleep before he'd finished the first verse.