Come to Light

by happylikeafool

Blindsided by a diagnosis that threatens the semblance of the life she's built for herself, Emma finds herself a patient at the Boston Cancer Center, where she meets Regina, a volunteer waiting on an adoption that can't come soon enough. They're two lonely people crossing paths in the dark and maybe, just maybe, they'll be exactly what the other needs. Slow burn Swan Queen AU.

11. Where Do We Go From Here?

Chapter 11: Where Do We Go From Here?

Regina had almost forgotten about her mother and she froze momentarily as she entered the kitchen to retrieve Henry's bottle.

Cora was leaning against the counter in the same place Regina had left her. The only sign that she had moved at all was that the kettle was unplugged again and she was sipping on a prepared cup of tea.

Regina eyed her without a word as she moved to where she'd left Henry's bottle on the counter.

"Did you fix things?" Cora asked, her tone almost conversational.

Regina's eyes narrowed, trying to decide if she should answer at all. "Yes," she finally said stiffly, offering nothing else.

"Good," Cora nodded and her tone seemed oddly sincere.

Regina eyed her suspiciously, not trusting that her mother was really going to give up so easily. She waited expectantly for her mother to say something else about how she thought that Regina should break up with Emma.

No unsolicited advice was offered though. Instead, Cora just seemed almost amused as she asked, "Am I allowed out of time out now?"

Regina quirked an eyebrow, "I don't know...are you going to behave?"

Cora scoffed, "I'm always impeccably behaved, dear."

Regina rolled her eyes but said nothing as Cora followed her back to the living room.

xxxxxx

"Henry needs his diaper changed," Cora announced sometime later, holding the infant away from her body for Regina to take him.

Regina stood from the couch to collect Henry from Cora's arms. It was only when she took the first few steps towards the stairs that she hesitated, realizing that she was about to leave Emma and her mother alone. It seemed like a terrible idea but she also wasn't really sure how to avoid it. She could ask one of them to come with her but there was no good justification for the request.

Her hesitation must have been quite apparent because when Regina glanced over at Emma, Emma tilted her head curiously, the question in her eyes evident.

Regina shrugged a shoulder. There really was nothing to do but complete the task quickly. She smiled reassuringly at Emma.

Emma smiled back and, with a quiet sigh, Regina left her mother and her girlfriend alone.

xxxxxx

Emma shifted uncomfortably in her seat after Regina left the room, wondering if she should try and initiate a conversation or if sitting here in silence was an acceptable alternative. She was leaning towards sitting in silence being perfectly fine with her when Cora spoke up.

"I'm sure my daughter would appreciate it if I apologized to you."

Emma eyed Regina's mother uncertainly, gnawing on her lip and not saying a word.

"And I am sorry dear," Cora said, sounding close to sincere, "you should not have overheard what was meant to be a private conversation.

Emma bit her lip harder, clasping her hands tightly in front of her, not sure what she was supposed to say to that. She doubted this was the kind of apology Regina would want her mother to give. Did it even count as an apology if all she was sorry for was that she'd been overheard?

Cora must not have expected a response though because she just continued, "You have to understand where I'm coming from, dear. I'm a mother. And now a grandmother. I have to consider what's best for my family. Even when…" she folded her hands in her lap, her posture straightening, "Look, you seem like a perfectly nice young woman. And my daughter is clearly enamored with you. Regina...once she gets attached to someone...she cares too much, too deeply. She's been like that her entire life. Bringing home every injured pigeon and stray dog she could find when she was a child. But caring that way, it blinds Regina. It keeps her from seeing what's truly best for her. And now what's best for Henry…" Cora paused, eyeing Emma seriously, "maybe when she didn't have a baby, she had time to be taking care of someone else. But now…" Cora let the statement hang between them.

Emma sat rigidly, her hands clasped even more tightly together, as she watched Cora with barely blinking eyes. She wanted to be angry. She knew that if Regina overheard even half of what Cora had just said she'd probably fly into a blind rage defending Emma. But Emma wasn't all that angry. The funny thing was, Cora was saying exactly what Emma had thought all along. All Cora was really saying was that Emma with Cancer was a burden. A burden that Regina with Baby did not need. And maybe Regina didn't believe that but it didn't necessarily mean it was untrue. "I…" Emma swallowed, "I don't want things to be difficult for Regina." It was the same thing she'd said to Regina but this time there were no tears with the admission, just something like resignation.

Cora nodded, something oddly like admiration flickering across her face, "I knew I liked you."

Emma wasn't sure what to say to that. Despite some level of agreement with Cora, she doubted she was strong enough to do what Cora seemed to be suggesting and actually push Regina away. Not when Regina said things like her life would be more difficult without Emma. Not when Regina was - well, Regina. Emma studied Cora carefully, wondering what Regina saw when she looked at her mother. Emma was pretty sure Regina would call this meddling. Regina might say something even worse. But Emma, who had never had a mother, never had someone who cared to meddle, never had someone to love her, saw something different. "You love her, don't you?"

Cora looked surprised, her carefully constructed mask slipping just a fraction. "Of course I do, she's my daughter."

Emma nodded and they slipped into silence just as Regina appeared with Henry in her arms.

Regina eyed them both suspiciously, as if she might be able to read their minds and sort out what had transpired without her in the room. Uncertainty was written all over her face as she finally asked, "What have you been talking about?"

Emma swallowed, looking over at Cora. Cora didn't seem about to say anything, so Emma looked back at Regina, smiling, "We were talking about you...I had no idea you were such a fan of pigeons."

"Seriously mother?" Regina groaned, the suspicion fading from her face as she settled back on the couch beside Emma.

Cora chuckled lightly, "telling embarrassing stories about your child to their significant other is a mother's prerogative. You'll see someday."

xxxxxxx

Cora announced her imminent departure sometime after dinner.

Against her better judgement, Regina offered her mother one of the guest rooms to stay the evening but Cora just shook her head and said, "I have no desire to be waken by a crying baby throughout the night. I already did that once."

Regina wasn't about to try and convince her to stay, if anything, it was with relief that she closed the door behind her mother and went back to the living room, where Henry was sound asleep in his swinging chair and Emma was sprawled out on the couch.

At the sight of Regina, Emma pushed herself back up into a seated position, making room on the couch for Regina to sit too.

Regina smiled as she lowered herself down beside Emma, where she quickly found herself pinned against the armrest of the couch, Emma's lips pressing firmly, insistently, against hers. The kiss was oddly urgent but Regina wasn't complaining, not when Emma shifted against her, their bodies pressing even closer together, one of Emma's hands resting on her shoulder, the other cupping her cheek with fingers tangling in her hair, Emma's tongue darting out, pushing into Regina's mouth. Regina reached up and looped her arms around Emma, her hands splaying across her back, tugging her impossibly closer as the urgency of the kiss only grew.

They kissed like that until Emma finally pulled back, breathless and panting hard. She rested her forehead resting against Regina's, wide green eyes staring directly into brown ones.

Regina's own heart hammered loudly in her chest and she lifted a hand to cup Emma's cheek, her thumb stroking gently along Emma's jaw line. "Okay?" she asked.

"Mmhm," Emma confirmed, making no move to pull back, if anything, her forehead pressing just a little more firmly against Regina's, her chest still heaving as she tried to catch her breath.

Regina smiled softly, her thumb still stroking along Emma's jaw line. "Are you going to stay tonight?" She only heard how that sounded after she'd said it and her eyes widened. It wasn't that she didn't want to have sex with Emma. The arousal currently pooled between her legs would suggest quite the opposite. It was that she didn't want Emma to think that she had any expectations. Emma had cancer, of course, Regina had zero expectations in that regard.

Emma didn't seem bothered though. She just sighed softly, biting her lip, her eyes sliding closed a moment and when they opened again she mumbled, "Probably not."

Regina couldn't help the tug of disappointment she felt at that but she pushed it aside, smirking, "Don't want to be waken by a crying baby either?"

Emma laughed, pulling her forehead away from Regina's, pausing long enough to peck Regina's lips, and then straightening on the couch. "Don't you remember? My red blood cell count is in the dumps. I could probably sleep through an earthquake."

Regina chuckled, shaking her head as she followed Emma's lead and pulled herself into an upright seated position as well, straightening her shirt as she did so and running a hand through her tousled hair to smooth it. "Speaking of…" she started.

"Of my red blood cell count?" Emma's brow crinkled.

"Well, not your red blood cell count exactly. But something cancer related," Regina clarified.

"Oh…" Emma looked suddenly nervous.

Regina reached over for Emma's hand, clasping Emma's fingers tightly with hers and smiling reassuringly, "I was just thinking about what we should do about your treatment next week."

Emma's brow crinkled again but she said nothing.

Regina squeezed her hand, "I know Henry isn't allowed in the chemo suite but I don't think there would be an issue bringing him to the cancer centre itself, do you? It's not as if he's been around any other children, so he shouldn't be carrying any germs." She knew that germs were the primary motivation for the no children in the chemo suite rule.

Emma still looked confused but she shrugged a shoulder, "I guess?" She didn't sound all that certain.

"Okay," Regina nodded, "then what do you say about me bringing Henry with us to the cancer centre on Wednesday? We wouldn't be able to go with you into the chemo suite but we could stay with you the rest of the time. Even to see your oncologist…if you wanted." She added the last part carefully, not wanting Emma to think she was pushing, even though she really wanted to sit it on Emma's oncologist appointment. She wanted first hand information. Wanted the opportunity to ask questions. And, maybe most importantly, she just didn't want Emma to have to do anything that might be difficult alone anymore.

Emma gnawed her lip, her eyes shifting away from Regina and over to where Henry was sleeping in his swinging chair. "You don't have to," she said quietly, "The cancer centre is no place for Henry. I can go myself. I'll take the bus."

Regina's eyebrows arched high. Emma seriously thought Regina would be okay with her taking the bus? She squeezed Emma's hand again, waiting for Emma to look back at her to say seriously, "Under no circumstances will you be taking the bus." She eyed Emma firmly a long moment, wanting that to really sink in. "And you aren't going alone. So, if you don't want me to bring Henry…" she hesitated, not sure how she felt about the option she was about to offer, but offering it nonetheless, "I could find someone to watch him."

Emma blinked slowly, watching her with almost hesitant green eyes. "No," she said finally, "bring him."

"Okay," Regina nodded, smiling.

"Okay," Emma echoed, a small smile tugging at her lips as well.

xxxxxx

Wednesday came quickly and before she knew it Regina was picking Emma up to take her to the cancer centre.

Emma was oddly quiet on the drive there and Regina reached over and placed a hand on her knee, "Are you okay?"

Emma looked over from where she'd been staring out the window, her expression blank, but she shrugged, "I'm fine."

Regina wasn't convinced but she withdrew her hand from Emma's knee and brought it back to the steering wheel. If Emma wanted to talk, she would. Regina wasn't going to push.

They rode in silence for a few more minutes before Emma said quietly, "This would have been my last treatment."

Regina's eyes widened slightly in sudden understanding. Of course. This was the second treatment of Emma's fourth cycle, her eighth treatment in total. If her CT scan results had been different, after today she would have been done. Regina felt like an idiot for not having realized sooner. She looked over at Emma, prepared to say something but Emma spoke first.

"It's okay. You don't have to say anything...it is what it is," Emma sighed, "I just wish...that it could just be over already. It would be easier for you and Henry that way."

Regina's brow furrowed. Easier for her and Henry? What was Emma even talking about? What on earth was Emma thinking? "Emma…" she said carefully, struggling for the right words, "you don't have to worry about Henry and I."

Emma frowned, "Why not? You worry about me don't you?"

Regina's brow furrowed deeper, "Of course I do Emma." She almost added because you have cancer but she caught herself, cognizant enough to know that would be the exact wrong thing to say right now.

"Then why can't I worry about you and Henry?" Emma shot back stubbornly.

Regina sighed. Were they really about to have an argument about who was allowed to worry about who? The whole thing was ridiculous. "That's not what I meant and you know it," Regina shook her head, "All I was trying to say is that whether you have one or five chemo treatments left has a much bigger effect on you than it does Henry and I. You should think of yourself first."

Emma sighed too, her shoulders slumping forward, hunching into herself, "I'm sorry...I'm just...off today. I think I'm just getting tired of this."

Regina could only assume that this was cancer. At least she hoped that this wasn't something else. She swallowed that thought down, reaching over to place a hand on Emma's knee again, squeezing gently. "Don't be sorry. You've done nothing you need to apologize for. If anything, you've just reminded me how lucky I am to have someone who cares about me and my son so much."

Emma's lips twitched into a small smile but it didn't quite reach her eyes.

They rode the rest of the way to the cancer centre in silence.

xxxxxx

A baby in a stroller turned out to be quite the distraction. Everyone in the hematology clinic waiting room seemed to want to come say hello. Perhaps her time as a volunteer here had softened Regina to the curiosity of elderly cancer patients and their loved ones, or perhaps curiosity related to her son was simply less aggravating than curiosity related to herself, either way she found that she wasn't all that bothered about everyone fawning over Henry. It certainly made the time spent in the waiting room fly by if nothing else.

It sort of felt like they'd just sat down when Emma's name was called and they were standing up and heading over to nurse holding Emma's chart.

Emma handed over the printout with her symptom assessment - Regina had had to resist the urge to debate some of the choices Emma was making when she'd filled it out on the computer earlier. It seemed to Regina that Emma was downplaying how awful she actually felt. Not that that was all so surprising, she supposed.

Emma followed the nurse to the scale, setting down her bag and her coat and stepping onto the scale.

Emma didn't even look at the number that flashed on the display screen but Regina did and it made her frown. She'd certainly noticed that Emma seemed gaunter lately compared to when they'd first met but, still, there was something shocking about the much too low weight displayed there. She really needed to figure out some things that Emma might actually like to eat.

"You're up a little from last time," the nurse smiled encouragingly at Emma.

Wait. Regina frowned further. This was Emma's weight after she'd gained some?

Emma eyed Regina curiously a moment, confusion and concern at Regina's expression evident but after a beat she turned her eyes back to the nurse, smirking as she joked, "It's because Regina keeps force feeding me pasta."

The nurse laughed, "Good."

Regina shook her head, but her frown eased.

xxxxxx

In the exam room they were brought to, Regina took Henry out of the stroller so that she could feed him with one of the bottles that she'd packed. He had just finished eating when the door swung open and a dark haired nurse stepped into the room.

The nurse seemed confused at the sight of Regina and Henry and she shot a curious look in Emma's direction as she greeted, "Hi Emma."

"Hey," Emma smiled at the nurse and then motioned with her hand to Regina in the chair beside, "This is my girlfriend, Regina. And her son, Henry." She glanced at Regina and added, "Regina this is Belle."

Belle looked a mixture of surprised and pleased, as she addressed Regina, "It's nice to meet you."

"Likewise," Regina nodded.

Belle rolled a stool over, sitting in front of them with Emma's chart on her lap. "How have you been feeling?" she asked Emma, studying her carefully.

Emma shrugged, "Fine."

Based on the expression on Belle's face, Regina guessed that this was Emma's standard answer. Based on the expression on Belle's face, Regina also guessed that she didn't tend to accept that first answer.

"Oh really," Belle said with a raised eyebrow, "Nausea has been okay?"

Emma nodded.

"No other symptoms bothering you? Anything that's gotten worse than it was before?" Belle still prodded.

Emma shrugged, "No. I'm good."

Regina quirked an eyebrow, "What about the dizziness? It's definitely worse."

Belle looked curiously over at Regina and then back at Emma, "Dizziness?"

The way Belle said it made Regina think that maybe Emma hadn't actually told her about it before, not as explicitly as Regina had assumed she had at least. She wondered if Emma would be angry with her for bringing it up - not that she really cared, she would take Emma's anger if it meant Emma's medical team was informed of what Regina considered a serious problem.

Emma looked over at Regina but she didn't seem upset, more surprised that Regina had spoken up. She shrugged, shifting in her seat almost uncomfortably, as she looked back over at Belle. "It's not that bad."

Belle had that same look on her face again, the one that said she didn't really believe Emma.

Regina shook her head. She supposed that she shouldn't be that surprised - this was exactly how Emma had been the night she'd brought her to the emergency room. "She sways nearly every time she stands up," Regina supplied, since Emma clearly wasn't going to emphasize the severity of the issue.

Belle looked genuinely surprised at that, "That's quite a lot. Dizzy how exactly Emma?"

Emma shrugged, looking sort of displeased now, as she grumbled, "I dunno. Sometimes my vision goes black. Sometimes the room just spins. It depends. You said low red blood cell count could cause it."

"I did," Belle said carefully, "But you also said it wasn't that severe or that often, which isn't sounding completely true."

Emma sighed but she didn't say anything.

Belle glanced down at the chart in her lap, "Your red blood cell count has dropped a bit more, and that could definitely be a contributing factor. Although given the severity, it might not be the only cause. Have you been drinking enough water?"

Emma eyes darted over to look at Regina, "Regina is basically the water police…"

At the same time Regina said, "She doesn't drink enough." It was true. Both post-chemo Saturday's that Regina had been with Emma, Emma hadn't had more than a glass of water and that was after Regina had insisted. Even on days that Emma deemed good, Regina didn't think she was really consuming enough liquid.

Emma groaned, "See what I mean?"

"I do," Belle's lips tugged into a smile, clearly amused, "And I think it's good that someone is looking out for your well being." She got more serious as she added, "You really need to try and drink more. Please."

"Fine," Emma conceded with a sigh.

Henry, who'd been quiet up until that point, gurgled from where he was lying in Regina's arms.

Belle chuckled, "It seems as if he approves."

xxxxxx

Emma's oncologist came in after Belle left and Regina rather liked him. He was kind and professionally and certainly significantly better than that creep Dr. Whale from the Storybrooke ER.

The visit with him didn't last long. He gave Emma a quick exam, asked some of the same questions Belle had, handed over new appointment requisitions and a prescription for Emma's growth factor shot, and just like that they were putting Henry back in his stroller and heading out of the hematology clinic.

"Why don't I take your prescription to the pharmacy and you go get checked in for chemo and then we can go have lunch?" Regina suggested.

"Sure," Emma agreed easily, handing over the prescription sheet and heading down the long hall towards the chemo suite.

xxxxxx

ID bracelet fastened around her wrist and plastic number in hand, Emma turned to head back out of the chemo suite but someone calling her name stopped her. She froze, turning towards the source of the sound and instantly relaxing as she realized who it was.

"Hey Barbara," Emma smiled as she approached the hat table.

"Hello Emma," Barbara returned the greeting, "How are you dear?"

Emma shrugged, "Alright. Yourself?"

"I'm well," Barbara smiled, "I was just wondering...I haven't seen Regina in quite a few weeks. Do you know if…" she didn't quite finish the question but the concern on her face was evident.

Emma smiled. She knew that Regina liked Barbara and it was sweet that the older volunteer cared enough to ask where she was. "Actually," Emma said, "she's here today."

Barbara looked surprised, "Really?"

"Yeah," Emma nodded. She considered explaining about Henry but then had a better idea, "Can you take a quick break? She's just waiting outside. I'm sure she'd like to say hi."

Barbara glanced over at her volunteer partner, an older gentleman that Emma didn't recognize, "I'm just going to take a few minutes, Larry, okay?"

The older gentleman nodded and Emma led the way out to where Regina was waiting with Henry.

"Oh my goodness," Barbara's eyes widened in surprised delight as she noticed the stroller Regina was leaning against and she quickly closed the remaining distance.

Emma followed more slowly, hands in her pockets, but couldn't help but smile at Barbara's reaction and at the way Regina beamed when Barbara said, "He's perfect, Regina. I'm so happy for you."

xxxxxx

Sometime after they'd had lunch and Emma had headed back into the chemo suite, Regina sat with Henry resting on her lap in a bank of vacant chairs not too far away from the entrance to the chemo suite. She held both of his hands, moving his arms gently as she talked to him in a quiet voice. He seemed to like the sound of her voice because everytime she spoke his eyes widened, tracking side to side as if following the sound of it. It made Regina's heart flutter happily. He should be old enough to smile soon and Regina couldn't wait for that to happen.

"You're being such a good boy, yes you are," she cooed at him. It was true, he'd only really had one bout of excessive crying since they'd arrived. Yet, Regina couldn't help but feel that today wasn't really a success. She was glad she'd gotten to sit in on Emma's oncologist appointment but it felt wrong to be sitting out here now while Emma sat somewhere else, all by herself with harsh chemicals dripping into her system. Regina might not like the idea of leaving Henry with someone else but she was already resigning herself to the fact that she was going to have to find a babysitter before Emma's next treatment. She supposed it was probably a good thing - after all, she would need to return to work soon and finding a daycare provider would have to be on her to do list, regardless.

Regina was so deep in thought that she didn't see the person approaching until she was right in front of her, casting a shadow. Regina looked up, smiling immediately as she realized it was Barbara again, "Hello again."

"Hello," Barbara smiled back, "My shift just ended and I thought I'd come see if you wanted to go check on Emma. I could sit with Henry for a while."

Regina had quite literally never left Henry out of her sight with anyone but Emma before. But after months of working volunteer shifts with Barbara, after seeing the woman's kindness first hand, she knew Barbara would take good care of her son. It made it very easy to accept the offer. She smiled gratefully, "That would be great. If you really don't mind."

Barbara waved that off with hand, "Of course I don't mind. I love babies. And I really think your friend could use someone in there with her...although she isn't quite your friend anymore, is she?" Barbara's eyes twinkled in knowing amusement.

Regina couldn't help the blush that flushed her cheeks, "No she isn't."

"Good for you dear," Barbara smiled, sounding incredibly sincere.

Regina was unable to contain a pleased smile. She wasn't really sure why, but for some reason knowing that Barbara approved, made her feel good.

xxxxxx

Regina walked into the chemo suite, looking around for Emma, spotting her in one of the recliners along the back wall, she quickly approached. Barbara hadn't been wrong. Emma looked worse than usual, somehow paler and greyer, looking small as she shivered under the one thin blanket covering her. Her eyes were unfocused, staring far off into nothingness, clearly lost in thought, and Emma didn't see Regina until she was quite literally right in front of her and then she startled, her entire body jerking, her eyes widening in alarm, "Where's Henry?"

It would have been a funny reaction if Emma didn't look so unwell. "Barbara's sitting with him," Regina explained.

"Oh," Emma said, her mouth opening and closing, as if she might want to say something else, but she never did.

Regina studied the IV pump a moment, noting that they were on Emma's last drug but that the bag of Dacarbazine was still mostly full. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Emma shiver again and she turned her attention back to her, reaching over to rub her arm gently. "I'm going to go get you another blanket," she didn't wait for an answer, just leaned over and kissed Emma's temple and then slipped away to go grab one of the blankets from the warmer. She didn't understand why no one had brought Emma another blanket yet. Emma was so obviously cold. It angered Regina. Made her want to demand that these nurses pay better attention to Emma. Even if, at the same time, she knew she was being unrealistic. This was a busy place, if a patient needed something, they would have to ask for it - and Regina knew Emma enough to know that she would never ask for anything.

Regina returned quickly with the blanket, spreading it over Emma and then using her hands to rub Emma's arms, hoping that that would help spread the warmth from the blanket more quickly, help it permeate into Emma's skin.

Emma sighed in content, her eyes slipping closed a moment, as Regina continued to rub her arms.

When green eyes blinked back open, Regina stilled the motion of her hands, quirking an eyebrow carefully and asking, "Better?"

"Mmhm," Emma nodded.

Regina smiled and then took the seat in the chair someone had left beside Emma's recliner.

Emma's brow crinkled, "Don't you have to get back to Henry?"

"He'll be okay with Barbara for a while longer," Regina shook her head.

It looked like Emma might protest but after a moment she relaxed, shuffling just a little further down in the recliner, saying nothing, and letting Regina lace their fingers together.

xxxxxx

Winter yielded to a slightly early spring in the week following that chemo treatment. It was warm enough that in the second week of March, on one of Emma's good days - or perhaps better days was a better descriptor, since Emma wasn't really sure she had any days that were truly good anymore - they decided to walk to Granny's instead of drive.

It should have been an easy decision. The sun was shining. Henry seemed to love being pushed in his stroller. And Granny's wasn't all that far. But Regina had instigated a solid fifteen minute debate about whether or not it was a good idea for Emma to walk there.

Emma hated it. She hated that they had the debate at all. But, more than that, she hated that Regina was right to be concerned. Even on what was supposed to be a good day there was a pretty solid cap on how far Emma could walk. Granny's was within the acceptable walking distance but, even then, Emma was quickly becoming winded as they strolled down the street.

"Would you mind taking over pushing the stroller for me?" Regina suggested when they were about halfway to Granny's.

Emma pretended that she didn't see what Regina was doing. Pretended that she didn't know that Regina wanted her to push the stroller so that she would have something to lean against. Pretended that it didn't actually make it easier for her to walk. The fact that she couldn't walk four city blocks anymore without needing to slow down to a snail's pace and use a baby's stroller to help support her weight, made her feel pretty useless. It certainly detracted from the wonderful feeling of the sun on her face. It certainly detracted from what was supposed to be a nice outing with her girlfriend and her girlfriend's son.

As they continued to walk, Emma couldn't help but think about the conversation she'd had with Cora two weeks previous. She was pretty sure that Cora was probably currently very disappointed that Emma hadn't broken up with Regina yet. It had been clear that Cora had thought she'd gotten through to Emma. And she actually had. Her words had fueled Emma's guilt - like dumping gasoline on an already burning pile of logs. It was guilt that rippled through Emma's belly constantly whenever she watched Regina with Henry. Regina and Henry who deserved so much more than she was currently giving them.

Emma wanted to be strong enough to do the right thing. Strong enough to stop distracting Regina from caring for Henry in favour of caring for her. Strong enough to stop making things difficult. But she'd finally conceded that she just wasn't. She was much too attached. And much too tired. She just couldn't do it. Even being absolutely terrified that Regina was going to wake up one day and realize that things actually wouldn't be more difficult without Emma and be the one to leave wasn't enough motivation. Emma just couldn't bring herself to withdraw. So, instead, she was just guilty. And terrified. And tired. So, so tired. Constantly.

"What are you thinking so hard about?" Regina interrupted her thoughts.

Emma blinked slowly, looking over at Regina. "Nothing," she said carefully.

Regina looked unconvinced, her lips pursed and lines etched into her forehead, but, maybe because they were coming up on Granny's, she didn't push, just sighed softly and held the door open so that Emma could push the stroller through.

xxxxxx

They settled into a booth in the corner, so that they could leave Henry in the stroller without blocking foot traffic.

Granny herself came over to take their orders. Or, that's why Emma thought she was coming over - she realized her mistake when the diner owner got closer and she saw the item in her hands.

Granny held the white knit blanket with the green ribbon trim and Henry's name embroidered on the side out for Regina to take, "I was hoping you would be in today. I made this for the little tyke."

Regina looked genuinely startled, as if she couldn't understand at all why Granny would give something to her for Henry, let alone something homemade that cleary had taken a great deal of effort to make. Her expression still giving away her surprise, she said, "Thank you, Eugenia. That was…" she swallowed, "unnecessary but very much appreciated." Regina stroked the blanket with one hand, adding, "It's really beautiful."

Granny smiled in the same gruff way she always did, but her eyes twinkled fondly the way they did when she smiled at Ruby. "It wasn't no big deal. Just thought the arrival of your first child should be treated as the special thing it is." She shrugged in a way that didn't invite further conversation, adding, "I'll send Ruby over to get your orders," before leaving their table and heading back for the kitchen.

Regina was still looking a little stunned and Emma smiled in amusement, "Pretty sure Granny is your number one fan…"

Regina quirked an eyebrow at that.

"Well, number three. After me. And Henry," Emma amended with another smile.

Regina shook her head, "She was just being polite."

"No way," Emma scoffed, "if you're being polite you say congratulations. Maybe pick up something cheap from a crappy department store. You don't knit super complicated to make looking blankets."

Regina bit her lip, a blush creeping up her neck, as she seemed at a loss of what to say. "You really think so?" she finally mumbled, in a very much not Regina way.

Emma thought Regina's bafflement that someone from the town she was the mayor of might like her was pretty adorable. "Yes," she nodded, "I'm pretty freaking sure. Did you know that she was the one who told me you liked root beer?"

"Huh…" Regina said, in the way that was clear she was really contemplating that, wondering what it meant.

Emma chuckled lightly, shaking her head at Regina, "Seriously. Is it so hard to believe that someone might think you're great and want to do something nice for you? Like. You're the greatest person I know. Obviously other people, like Granny, are going to notice your greatest on occasion too."

Emma thought Regina might say something sarcastic in response but Regina just blushed again, smiling a smile that seemed to light up her whole face, "Well...I'm glad you think so."

Emma might be guilty and terrified a lot of the time. But seeing Regina smile like that because of something she'd said - it felt pretty damn good. It made the guilt almost an afterthought. It made it impossible to imagine ever trying to break up with her.

Yes, Emma was sure that Cora would be disappointed.

xxxxxx

The night before Emma's next chemo treatment, Henry would not stop crying. Nothing Regina did would settle him down and by five in the morning she was nearly on the verge of tears and convinced that something must horribly wrong with him.

"Okay, okay, okay," she bounced Henry, the desperation in her voice clear, "It's okay. We're going to go to the hospital. We'll figure out what's wrong. You're going to be okay."

As Regina got Henry ready to take him to the hospital she debated if she should call Emma. She was terrified and desperately wished that Emma were here right now. Emma would make this situation feel more manageable. Emma would make this better for sure. But it was five in the morning on a chemo day and Emma would be able to do very little from Boston. Even if Emma, who needed at least ten hours of sleep a night, could get herself to Storybrooke safely, Regina could very well be done at the hospital by the time she arrived.

It just didn't make any sense to wake her.

xxxxxx

It took two hours in the emergency room for them to determine that the problem was an ear infection. They were two of the worst hours of Regina's life. She was a wreck.

Even though the ER doctor assured her that nothing she had done had caused this and that Henry would be absolutely fine, Regina couldn't help how awful she felt about the whole thing.

As she drove home from the hospital, she kept replaying the evening in her head, over and over again. Why hadn't she just taken him to the hospital sooner? How could she not have realized he was sick right from the beginning? She'd let her poor baby suffer for hours.

It was shortly after seven when she pulled into the driveway of their home. She got out of the car and moved around to grab Henry from the back. The medicine they'd given him at the hospital had finally settled him down and he was sound asleep now. "Mommy's sorry," Regina murmured rubbing his belly gently, just watching the steady rise and fall of his chest for several minutes before she removed his car seat from its base and brought him inside.

She settled Henry into his swinging chair and then debated what to do next. She'd planned to leave him with a woman who ran a local home daycare today, a trial run of sorts for when she went back to work. Emma had tried to talk her out of it but Regina had been insistent. She couldn't take him there now though. Daycares had rules about keeping sick kids home. And that was assuming she would be able to stomach leaving him, which she definitely could not. She wouldn't have him sick and in pain and then wondering where she was on top of that. That option was definitely off the table. She also couldn't bring him to the cancer centre. First of all she didn't want him getting worse. Second of all, she wasn't about to bring his germs to a building full of people vulnerable to infection. It was with a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach that she came to the only conclusion that she knew she could - she wouldn't be able to bring Emma to chemo today.

Remembering last week's treatment, Emma shivering in that recliner looking so small and alone, it didn't take her long to come to a second conclusion either - she didn't want Emma going there alone today. She considered her options for a moment before she decided that she was just going to have to call in a favour.

Pulling out her cell phone, Regina checked the time. It was still too early to call Emma and let her know what was going on. She would wait until just before nine, when she was sure Emma would be awake and getting ready for her appointment, to make that call. For a moment she wondered what Emma would think but just as quickly she shook her head at herself. Emma was constantly telling her to put Henry first, of course she would understand this.

Settling herself on the couch, she dialed the other number she needed to call. The phone rang twice before the person on the other end picked up. "Kathryn, hi," Regina said and not wasting any time she added, "I need a favour…"

She explained the situation and was relieved when Kathryn agreed without so much as a pause to head to Boston to take Emma to the cancer centre for her treatment.

"Thank you Kathryn," Regina sighed softly, adding, "you're a lifesaver."

It was still only quarter to eight when Regina hung up the phone. Still too early to call Emma. She yawned, adjusting her position on the couch, lying down with her head resting on one of the couch cushions.

She hadn't slept all night. She was exhausted. She would just close her eyes for a few minutes.

xxxxxxx

Emma slept until she absolutely couldn't sleep any longer and then rushed through her morning routine, brushing her teeth, and packing her medication. She was just finishing up when the knock came on the door. She frowned. Regina didn't usually come up and a glance at the clock told Emma that she wasn't early, which was the only reason she could really think of why Regina might come up. Throwing her bag over her shoulder, she pulled the apartment door open, the frown returning. This wasn't Regina. It was a tall woman with long blonde hair. Was this lady selling things door to door?

"Hi," the woman greeted with a friendly smile, holding her hand out to shake, "you must be Emma. It's nice to finally meet you."

Emma's frown returned, her eyes widening in complete bafflement. Was she supposed to know who this was?

The woman frowned too, clearly surprised that Emma didn't know who she was. "I'm Kathryn," she said hesitantly, "Regina's friend."

Emma's heart was suddenly hammering loudly in her chest. Had something happened to Regina? With dread settling in her stomach she asked, "Is she okay?"

Kathryn's frowned deepened, "She didn't call you?"

Regina was supposed to call her? What did that mean? Did it mean that nothing had happened to her? Oh no. Emma's heart hammered louder. Was it Henry? Had something happened to him? Emma felt like she was going to be sick. "N-no," she stuttered out.

"Oh. Umm...I guess she forgot?" Kathryn was clearly confused. She scratched the top of her head, explaining, "Henry is sick. An ear infection. Regina asked me to come bring you to your appointment."

An uncomfortable weight settled in Emma's stomach like a stone, the possibility that she was going to be sick still seeming very likely. "I-is he okay?" the words nearly stuck in her throat. Why hadn't Regina called her?

Kathryn's head bobbed rapidly in reassurance, "yes, yes, he's fine. Like I said, it's an ear infection. Not a huge deal. They gave him some medication in the ER and sent him home."

Regina had taken Henry to the ER? Why hadn't Regina called her? The same thought repeated in Emma's head. Henry was okay. Regina was okay. That's what mattered, she reminded herself. But why hadn't Regina called her? Knots in her stomach tightened as she just stared at Kathryn, not sure what to say now.

Kathryn looked like she was struggling just as much to find something to say but she was the one to break the silence, "Are you okay with me taking you to the cancer centre?"

Emma shrugged, answering in monotone, "I guess." What other choice did she have?

xxxxxx

The drive to the cancer centre was quiet.

Kathryn seemed to know better than to try and initiate conversation and instead she just turned the radio on.

When they neared cancer centre, Emma finally broke the silence, "Could just pull up to the front door and drop me off, please?

"Okay," Kathryn said carefully, "then I'll just park and meet you inside?"

"You don't have to come in with me," Emma answered, her foot tapping against the floorboard.

Kathryn drew in a careful breath, her eyes darting over to Emma again, "Regina...she said I should come in with you. She didn't want you to be alone."

"I don't care what Regina said. You don't need to waste your day at the cancer centre. I'll be fine." It came out harsher than Emma intended and she bit her lip.

"Okay," Kathryn conceded with a sigh after a long moment of silence. She added evenly, "but I'll give you my number so you can call me when you're done. I'll bring you back home."

"You don't have to," Emma said, managing to sound not quite as harsh that time.

"Regina would kill me if I let you find your own way home," Kathryn shook her head, "she's going to be mad enough that I'm not going in with you."

Emma's foot was tapping even quicker against the floorboard now, her insides twisting painful. "Well then maybe she should have called me," she said flatly.

Kathryn didn't argue with that..

xxxxxx

Regina slept soundly on the couch until Henry's crying woke her. She startled, shooting up, as she tried to get her bearings. It took her a moment to remember why she was on the couch and by the time she did she was already moving towards Henry, scooping him out of his swinging chair and cradling him to her chest.

What time was it? She wondered as she carried him into the kitchen. The medicine must have made Henry sleep longer than he usually would because her eyes widened in alarm as soon as she saw the clock in the kitchen.

It was almost noon.

Emma. She hadn't called Emma.

Regina felt ill at the thought, her stomach twisting in knots.

She quickly prepared Henry's bottle and brought him back into the living room. She managed to fed him with one hand, checking her phone with the other.

Four missed calls. Two voicemails. All from Kathryn.

Emma hadn't texted or tried to call at all. That felt ominous and Regina's stomach twisted painfully again.

xxxxxx

Regina finished feeding Henry, gave him the next dose of the medicine she'd gotten at the ER for him, and re-settled him into his swinging chair.

She didn't bother checking the voice mails, instead she just dialed Kathryn's number.

The phone rang twice and then Kathryn was practically shouting into the phone, "What the fuck Regina?"

Regina's posture went rigid and she pinched the bridge of her nose. "How bad?" she asked quietly.

"How bad is it that you forgot to tell your girlfriend that a stranger was coming to pick her up to take her to the cancer centre? Pretty fucking bad," Kathryn shot back, not mincing her words.

"I didn't forget. I was waiting until I knew she'd be awake to call but I feel asleep," Regina snapped defensively.

"Yeah, well, it doesn't change the fact that I showed up at her door when she was expecting you," Kathryn's voice wasn't quite so harsh now.

Regina sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose again, "How is she?"

"Not great. At first she thought something had happened to you. And then when I explained what was actually going on she just got pale and quiet. Barely said two more words. She seemed hurt more than anything," Kathryn explained.

The knots in Regina's stomach coiled tighter. This was what she'd been expecting but she hated knowing that she'd hurt Emma. "How's the treatment going?" she asked, hoping that Emma was, at least, feeling alright.

There was quiet from the other end of the phone for several long beats before Kathryn admitted, "She didn't want me to go in with her."

"You didn't go in?!" Regina hissed, irritation immediately invading her brain. She'd thought she'd been pretty clear that she didn't want Emma to spend the day alone.

"No, I didn't go in," Kathryn hissed right back and Regina could picture her rolling her eyes, "She was pretty insistent that she didn't want me to come in. I'm a stranger to her, Regina. I wasn't just going to follow her around. I'm not some kind of stalker."

Regina sighed. She knew Kathryn was right. She just hated that Emma was alone in the cancer centre again. "You are bringing her home after the treatment, correct?"

"Yes, Regina, of course I am," Kathryn was clearly irritated but there was a hint of softness in her voice.

Neither of them said anything for several long moments. It was Regina who finally broke the silence, her voice quiet, more vulnerable than she wanted it to be, "How do I fix this Kathryn?"

"Apologize. Grovel if you have to," was Kathryn's suggestion. After a beat she added, more softly, "She clearly cares about you, Regina. The worry was written all of her face when she realized who I was. You don't look like that unless you care about someone, a lot. I'm sure she'll forgive you."

"Hopefully," Regina sighed, running a hand through her hair and adding, "Will you let me know once you've dropped her off at home?"

"Sure," Kathryn agreed.

"Thanks again for helping me out today," Regina said then.

"Anytime," Kathryn fluffed off the thanks like it was no big deal. "I'll talk to you later."

"Alright. Goodbye," Regina said, hanging up the phone and setting it down on the couch beside her.

She looked over at Henry in his swinging chair, the baby's eyes seeming to be staring directly at her, "What am I going to do Henry?"

Henry just blinked at her.

What she really wanted to do was head to Boston. Be there waiting when Emma's treatment was done. But that wasn't a realistic option. She still didn't want to take Henry out of the house. And, even more so, she knew it wasn't a good idea for Henry to be around Emma right now. Emma had a vulnerable immune system and she needed to be protected. Until Henry had a few days of antibiotics in him, it was better to keep the two apart.

Regina sighed heavily and picked her cell phone back up. She didn't want to try and call Emma while she was inside the cancer centre but she typed out a quick message.

I am so sorry for not calling about Kathryn. I hope your treatment is going as well as can be expected. xo

She never received a response.

xxxxxx

After thanking Kathryn and waving goodbye to the woman, Emma entered her apartment building. She climbed the stairs slowly. Those three flights had never been more difficult to manage and even though she took them impossibly slow, she was still panting harder than usual by the time she was pushing open the door to her apartment.

She put the small cooler bag with the Neulasta shot in it into the fridge and then she moved over to the living room, dropping her shoulder bag somewhere nearby, and flopping down onto the couch, reaching for a blanket and pulling it up and over herself. Maybe if she took a nap she could forget all about today. And oh how she wanted to forget.

Of course, that wasn't how things worked, and her phone started ringing at that exact moment.

She had a pretty good inkling who it was. There was really only one person who called her. Maybe she could just not answer. She wasn't sure she was ready to have the conversation yet. She wasn't sure she had the energy it would require - actually, she knew for sure that she didn't.

The phone stopped ringing and for a half a second she thought the decision had been made for her and then it started ringing again. She sighed and reached for the bag on the floor, shuffling through it to find her phone. Sure enough, as she'd expected, Regina's name flashed on the display screen. With a heavy sigh, she accepted the phone call, bringing the phone to her ear and offering a quiet, "Hi."

"Emma," Regina breathed out what sounded like a sigh of relief from the other side of the phone, "How are you?"

"Fine," Emma said in monotone, sitting up on the couch and drawing her knees to her chest, as she asked, "How's Henry?"

"Better," Regina answered, "the medicine seems to be helping."

"Good," Emma nodded even though Regina couldn't see her. She was glad, she hated the thought of Henry sick. She didn't say anything else. She didn't want to say anything else, her stomach rolling uncomfortably, nausea from the chemo treatment only making the knots that had been there all day worse.

"Emma," Regina said her name again, so softly, so gently, "I'm so sorry about not calling. I meant to. I really did. I swear. I just fell asleep."

Emma stiffened as she listened to the apologize. She didn't say anything when Regina finished speaking.

"Emma?" Regina sounded concerned by her lack of response.

Emma still said nothing for a long beat, and then she asked stiffly, "When were you going to call?"

Emma could practically see the frown on Regina's face as she answered in a tone filled with uncertainty, "Around nine. Once you were awake."

"That's what I thought," Emma sighed. She was such an idiot. She should have just listened to Cora. Should have given in to the guilt. She should have just listened to the voice in the back of her head that told her Regina would hurt her in the long run. Should have given in to the terror. Maybe then she could have avoided the crushing weight that seemed to be pressing on her chest right now.

"Emma? What do you mean?"

Regina was clearly so very confused and that only frustrated Emma more. How could Regina not see? "When did you decide to take Henry to the hospital?" Emma asked.

There was a long pause, followed by a hesitant, "Five."

"Why didn't you call me then?" Emma asked, it taking all of her effort to keep her voice even.

"It was five. You were asleep. And in Boston," Regina sounded defensive now.

"So?" Emma offered in reply, her tone still even, not matching Regina's defensiveness.

"Emma, come on," Regina's voice was still just as defensive, "What was I supposed to do? Wake you up when you need to get your sleep? And to do what exactly? Make you worry? It wasn't as if you could have come to Storybrooke anyway."

The weight pushing on Emma's chest increased, her stomach rolling almost as badly as it did on the worst post-chemo days. Regina really didn't get it. Like really didn't get it. "So what," she was angry now and her tone showed it, "You keep saying that I'm not some burden. You keep saying that things would be more difficult without me. You keep saying all the right things. But then you…." she shook her head, starting again, "Something was wrong with Henry. Something was wrong enough with Henry that you took him to a hospital. And you didn't fucking call me. You…" Emma swallowed thickly, the volume of her voice lowering, her next words more hurt than angry, really, "You didn't call."

There was silence on the other end of the phone, the only sounds Regina's breathing, which seemed uneven and shaky. "Emma…" she finally said, and it was a plea, although for what, Emma wasn't sure.

Emma's stomach twisted painfully and she she drew her knees tighter to her chest, her entire body shaking. "No," she said, her voice flat and even again now.

"I'm so sorry," Regina said and she did sound sorry, her voice pained.

"No," Emma repeated, her words still flat, "I can't do this right now. I….I have to go."

"Emma don't - " Regina started.

Emma hung up the phone, cutting her off.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" Emma shouted as the weight pressed hard on her chest, almost crippling now. The phone in her hand started ringing again and she hurled it across the room where it landed with a heavy thud and cracking sound and then was suddenly silent. She was probably going to regret that later but right now she couldn't think of anything else but the conversation she'd just had.

How could she be so stupid? How could she have not run when she had the chance? This was her fault, she knew it. She hadn't done a very good job protecting herself from this outcome. She was such an idiot. Emma before Cancer wouldn't have let herself get so attached. Emma before Cancer was smarter. Emma before Cancer would have reacted much differently to the guilt and the terror. Emma before Cancer would have run without so much as a look back.

She could feel the tears building up in her eyes and that only made her angrier. Stupid tears. They were stupid chemo's fault. At least, that's what she was going to blame. Emma before Cancer wouldn't have cried over this. Emma before Cancer was strong. Those stupid drugs coursing through her veins messed with her emotions so freaking much. It was awful. She refused to acknowledge the possibility that these tears weren't the drugs' fault.

The tears were now sliding down her cheeks heavy and hot and fast and she shuffled down the couch, curling up into a tight ball, pulling the blanket up and almost completely over her head.

xxxxxx

Regina tried to call Emma six more times that night. When her sixth phone call still wasn't picked up, with a resigned sigh, she left a voicemail message.

"Emma I'm so sorry. I screwed up. I know. You clearly want some space right now and I'm going to respect that. Please call me when you're ready to talk. I...I really am sorry."

She barely slept that night.

xxxxxx

After forty eight hours of waiting for Emma to call, Regina couldn't take it anymore.

Friday night after a dinner that she mostly just pushed around her plate, she finally caved, grabbing her phone and dialing Emma's number.

There was no answer.

Her stomach twisted tightly in knots.

Was Emma ever going to talk to her?

xxxxxx

Once again, Regina barely slept. Tossing and turning and replaying everything over and over again in her mind.

By the time she'd given up trying to sleep Saturday morning, she'd made a decision - she was going to Boston.

After all, it was a post-chemo Saturday, and she'd promised herself that Emma wouldn't ever be alone on one of those days again. She wasn't about to let a little thing like Emma not talking to her make her break a promise - even if it was just a promise to herself.

xxxxxx

Regina climbed the three flights of stairs to Emma's apartment and set Henry's carrier down on the ground so that she could knock on the door. Her heart hammered loudly in her chest while she waited for an answer. She was nervous. More nervous than she wanted to admit to herself.

She frowned when Emma hadn't come to the door after several minutes. She knocked again and waited once more. There was still no answer and her heart hammered even louder in her chest, now in worry. She tried the door handle and for once breathed a sigh of relief that it was unlocked.

She brought Henry's carrier into the apartment, setting it down in the living room and then heading to the bedroom where she assumed she would find Emma. The bed was oddly empty though and that only increased her worry. Was Emma not here? Where was she?

"Emma," she called loudly, hoping for an answer but not getting one.

There was only one room left to check and she carefully approached the bathroom, knocking on the door, and calling, "Emma," again. There was no answer, so she pushed the door open. At the sight she was greeted with adrenaline and terror coursed through her body.

Emma was curled in a ball on the floor. Naked. And pale. So, so pale.

Had she fallen? Was she dead? Oh god, oh god, oh god, Regina thought, her heart hammering loudly, the sound of it beating reverberating in her ears, as she rushed forward. "Emma!" She called loudly as she crouched down in front of the prone form, "Emma?"

Regina was reaching forward, prepared to shake a shoulder, to feel for a pulse, when there was a groan followed by green eyes blinking open and squinting up at her.

"Emma," Regina let out a strangled sob of relief. Emma wasn't dead. Thank god, thank god, thank god. She wasn't dead. Regina's heart was still hammering uncomfortably hard as she rested a hand on Emma's bare arm, and asked rapid fire questions as Emma shivered under her touch, "Emma what happened? Are you hurt? What's wrong? Should I call an ambulance?"

Emma didn't respond at first, she just stared confused up at Regina, as if she couldn't sort out what was going on.

Had Emma hit her head? Maybe hard enough that she didn't know who Regina was? Regina ran through a million possibilities in the minute it took for Emma to answer.

"You're here?" was what Emma said when she finally did speak, her voice quiet and so confused.

Regina frowned. What kind of answer was that? She stroked Emma's arm gently, "I'm here," she confirmed softly, brown eyes studying green ones. Emma looked so vulnerable and it wasn't just that she was lying in front of Regina naked, it was something in her eyes. "Are you okay? Should I call an ambulance?" Regina finally repeated her previous questions. She couldn't see any visible injury but something must have happened for Emma to be curled up like this without any clothes on.

"I'm fine," Emma mumbled, her eyes sliding closed with a sigh, as if she couldn't bear to have Regina looking at her any longer.

Regina wasn't convinced but she accepted the answer for now, standing and grabbing a towel off the back of the door before crouching in front of Emma once more, this time actually sitting on the ground. She covered Emma with the towel and settled her hand back on top of Emma's arm, rubbing gently once more, "What happened?" she asked. Her heart rate was finally starting to slow down but she still wasn't convinced that Emma didn't need medical intervention. She needed answers.

Emma's eyes blinked slowly up at her with eyelids down to only a few lashes each. "Dizzy," Emma finally provided as way of an explanation, elaborating only when Regina quirked an eyebrow at her, "I was going to have a bath. I went to get in the tub but then everything was black and I thought I was going to fall down, or maybe throw up, so I got into the fetal position. That's all."

That's all. Regina nearly scoffed at Emma's last words but she held the tsking sound on the tip of her tongue back. Instead she asked carefully, "Are you sure I shouldn't call an ambulance?"

"I'm fine," Emma repeated her previous assurance, "I think it's better now."

"You think?" Regina quirked an eyebrow.

Emma just shrugged a shoulder. She stared up at Regina with wide eyes filled with that same vulnerability again, asking quietly, "Why are you here?"

Regina's heart sunk at the question. Emma must still be angry. "I know I said I'd give you space," she said carefully, "but I was tired of giving you space. I wanted to see you. Talk to you. I'll leave if you don't want me here."

"Space?" Emma's brow crinkled, "when did you say that?"

Regina eyed her in confusion, "In my phone message?"

"Oh," Emma's face showed understanding then, adding sheepishly, "I sort of...broke my phone."

Regina's eyebrows arched high towards her hairline, repeating, "You broke your phone?" She tried to decide what that meant. Would Emma have called if she'd had her phone? Was she still angry? Regina had so many questions she didn't have the answers to.

Emma said nothing, just shivered under the towel.

"We really should get you dressed," Regina decided. Lying on a cold bathroom floor without any clothes on could not be good for Emma.

"I can…" Emma started but Regina cut her off.

"Let me help you," it was more a plea than the demand it would usually be.

Emma blinked slowly. "Why?" she nearly whispered, and then repeated a previous question, "why did you come here?"

Regina frowned, her heart sinking again, "Do you not want me here, Emma?"

"I...no, that's not…I just thought..." Emma sighed and Regina could feel her quivering under the hand she still had resting on Emma's arm.

"You just thought, what?" Regina was still frowning, not understanding at all what Emma was trying to say.

"I hung up on you," Emma said quietly, shivering again, "I thought that was it. That you wouldn't..."

"You thought that I'd give up after one argument," Regina said. It was a statement not a question, as she finally understood. She shook her head, "You were angry because I screwed up Emma. I know I screwed up. But that doesn't mean...I wouldn't just give up because you got mad."

"Oh," Emma said, like she was genuinely surprised.

Regina sighed softly, "Can I please help you up? And get you dressed? I think we need to have a serious conversation and I really don't want to do it like this."

Emma sighed but slowly she nodded.

Regina stood first and then held out her hands for Emma to take.

Emma pushed herself into a seated position, adjusting the towel to cover herself as best as possible, and then reached up to take the offered hands, lifting herself off of the floor with a groan.

As soon as Emma was standing, Regina wrapped an arm around her waist, worried she would get dizzy again. She could feel Emma shaking under her touch as they moved slowly into the bedroom. Regina helped ease Emma carefully down on the edge of the bed and then she said, "I'm just going to check real quick on Henry and then I'll get you some clothes, okay?"

Emma nodded her agreement and Regina moved quickly out to the living room to check and make sure Henry was still asleep in his carrier. Satisfied that he was okay, Regina headed back to the bedroom. She couldn't say she was surprised to find Emma wrapped in the towel in front of her dresser, pulling out clothes, but she sighed, "Would you sit back down before you end up curled up on the ground again?"

Emma grumbled an unintelligible response but when Regina added a, "Please," she moved back over to sit on the edge of the bed.

Regina pulled out undergarments, a pair of sweatpants, and a long sleeve shirt and brought them over to the bed, where Emma was rubbing at her shins, clearly in pain.

Although Regina had already seen plenty today, she respectfully looked away while Emma removed the towel and pulled on the undergarments, only helping with the shirt and sweatpants, which Emma's stiff limbs seemed to be having difficulty with.

After Emma was dressed, Regina perched beside her on the edge of the bed, sitting close but not close enough that they were touching. They sat in almost uncomfortable silence until Regina broke it with a soft sigh, "Emma...I'm so sorry about the other day. I hope you know that. And I know it doesn't make it better. But I did want to call you. I knew talking to you would make me feel better. But I just...I screwed up. I just overthought it. I...I thought that maybe you needed sleep more than I needed you. I was trying to be unselfish and I just ended up hurting you. But I did need you. Please believe that. I needed you. I need you. And I should have called."

Emma looked up from the spot she'd been staring at the ground and over at Regina, "I don't understand why."

Regina frowned, "You don't understand why what?"

"Why you need me," Emma clarified quietly, her head tilting, her eyes wide and plaintive.

Regina froze, barely breathing, as she watched Emma carefully, as she took in the vulnerability in Emma's eyes. Emma, sweet Emma, who seemed to never see her own worth. Last time Regina had been apologizing, she'd been hesitant to say the words that were once again on the tip of her tongue. Today though, today they seemed like the only words she could say, the only thing that might make Emma really, truly, understand. "Because I love you, Emma," Regina said, her voice thick with emotion.

Emma's eyes widened, the surprise evident. "Y-you do?" the words seemed to stick in her throat.

"I do," Regina confirmed seriously. She reached over, incapable of sitting here without touching Emma for even a moment longer. She was glad when Emma let her take one of her hands and lace their fingers together. Regina squeezed Emma's hand, repeating, "I love you."

"I…" Emma swallowed thickly, her eyes filled with emotion but seemingly at a loss for words. "I don't know what to say," she finally admitted.

Regina smiled gently at her, "You don't have to say anything." She squeezed Emma's hand again, "I love you and I will repeat it as many times as you need to hear it to believe it. I want to be yours for as long as you'll have me, Emma...assuming you still want that, that is."

Emma's response was soft, barely more than I whisper, "I do."

Regina smiled, her heart swelling, her eyes suddenly watery and she swallowed hard to hold back happy tears. She wanted very badly to kiss Emma right then but, well, it was the Saturday post-chemo, which left that off the table. Instead she reached up with her free hand to stroke Emma's cheek gently.

Emma just smiled softly, leaning into the contact.

xxxxxx

Later, sitting together on the couch, Emma curled up with her head on Regina's shoulder, Henry resting in Regina's lap, his little feet pressed into her stomach, Regina said, "Would you move in with us?" It sort of just slipped out. She had certainly been thinking about it for awhile but she hadn't actually intended to ask today.

Emma immediately lifted her head off of Regina's shoulder, eyeing Regina uncertainly as if she hadn't heard correctly, "You want me to move to Storybrooke?"

"If you want," Regina nodded, suddenly nervous and wondering if she'd just made a big mistake, "It doesn't have to be permanently. But for now. While you're still getting chemo."

Emma tilted her head, clearly contemplating it.

"I just thought...we don't see each other enough. And my house doesn't have three flights of stairs like this apartment does. Plus it would be easier, not having to lug Henry and all of his stuff back and forth," Regina added reason after reason why she thought it was a good idea.

"Umm…" Emma gnawed her lip a minute looking down at Henry and then back over at Regina. She shrugged, relaxing, "yeah, sure, I guess."

"Really?" Regina couldn't help the smile that spread across her face.

"Yeah," Emma smiled too, yawning as settled her head back onto Regina's shoulder.

It was a rather anticlimactic way to decide to move in together but anticlimactic was perfectly fine by Regina.

They lapsed into silence, watching the TV screen for awhile before Regina broke the silence again, "By the way, you forget to lock your door again."

Emma didn't lift her head from Regina's shoulder, just said quietly, almost sheepishly, "I didn't forget."

"You didn't?" Regina's brow furrowed, as she tried to sort out what that meant. She came up blank though and eventually curiosity got the better of her, "Why was it unlocked then?"

Emma lifted her head off of Regina's shoulder just enough so that she could look up at her. "It's Saturday. And you usually….I kind of hoped that maybe…" she trailed off, her voice getting impossibly quiet, Regina having to strain to hear the last words, "that maybe you'd show up."

Oh. Regina's eyes widened in surprise as a fond smile tugged at the corners of her lips. Regina didn't say anything, just pecked Emma chastely on the lips, still smiling, as Emma laid her head back on Regina's shoulder.

Emma might not have said I love you back earlier but she'd left the door unlocked for Regina. She'd hoped that Regina would come. And Regina knew that hope wasn't something that Emma did easily. Emma wanted Regina just as much as Regina wanted her. The thought made Regina's heart swell with love and happiness.

xxxxxx