The room was spinning. Sam closed his eyes again to block out the fuzzy ceiling, trying to make his mind and his body work together. Where am I…? Sam let his muscles move a little bit, trying to wake himself up. Clenching his stomach muscles for a moment, Sam soon regretted it as a shock of pain erupted in his left side, and he moaned a little bit, clenching his jaw. Before he did something he would regret, Sam mentally checked himself for any more injuries, but other than his gut and a couple bruises on his chest and face, he couldn't find anything else wrong with him. Letting his eyes open again, Sam let them drift across the ceiling above. White-patterned squares lined the roof as far as the eye could see, and Sam followed them to the wall, and downward until his eyes came upon a familiar face, head in hands, eyes downcast, not even realizing that Sam was awake. Sam, still half-asleep, allowed confusion to plague his thoughts. Crying over me? But why? Sam looked up and around again, and as his eyes finally rested on the IV plugged into his arm, it all began to make sense. He was in the hospital. His eyes moved to his guest, almost begging to be noticed, and he turned his head slowly to the side as they looked up to meet his eyes.

"How do you feel?" Voice quiet, tired, scared. Sam was surprised to hear it, and it didn't make him brave to hear he could provoke such a reaction.

Sam licked his lips briefly, testing the muscles in his throat, and then braved the words "Alright." He hesitated, unsure what to say. "What… happened?"

"You were stabbed."

Sam frowned, still confused, as the memory of the knife and the demon flooded his head. "Is – Is everyone else okay?"
" Yeah… they're fine."

"The priest too?"

A nod was the only reply Sam got, and a sad one at that.

"What's wrong then?"

"I… I messed up Sam."

Sam frowned, more confused then ever. "I… I don't understand. You weren't even there. This isn't your fault."

"Yes it is."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Sam hissed.

"You will, soon enough."

"What…"Sam shook his head, trying to clear the smog from it. " What are you talking about Ruby?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Dean tried not to fidget as he walked through the big double doors, John by his side. "I don't see why we have to do this," he wined. "Let's just go back to Sam. What if he wakes up?"

"Calm down. He'll be fine," John assured his son. "We need to see if this man's okay."

"He wasn't the one who got stabbed…"

"Dean!"

"Fine dad, let's go." Dean grumbled, hurrying through the doors of the church.

They made their way into the main chapel area, and they spread out, taking a casual peek into hallways and doors, trying to find out where the priest would be spending all of his free time. "Anyone home?" Dean called out, looking around gruffly. It wasn't that he didn't appreciate what they were doing, but he would much rather be checking up on his little brother right now. "Hello…?"

After a few moments, the priest entered through one of the side doors by John. Dean couldn't help noticing how normal he looked without the black eyes and demon smoke.

"Hello…"The priest smiled at them, if not apprehensively. " Back already, I see."

"Yes," John nodded. "We just wanted to stop by and see how you were doing."

"That's kind of you," the priest offered. "I was praying that I would get a chance to find out how you three turned out. How is your son?"

"Alright. The doctors say he's going to make it."

"That's good," the priest nodded, hesitating, as if he wanted to say something but was reluctant to.

"Father…"Dean cleared his throat, uncomfortable. " We need to talk about what happened. I think there are some things you need to know."

The priest gave Dean a weird look, as if he already knew what Dean was going to say, but merely nodded politely, gesturing for them to sit.

"Um…"Dean wasn't sure how to start.

"You take your faith seriously, do you not father?" John took the lead.

"Of course."

"So you know that there are things out there… things that are evil, that want to hurt people."

"I'm not exactly sure what you're getting at" –

"You were possessed," Dean interrupted. "By a demon. I know we are being foreword, but it's true."

The priest hesitated, processing the information, but he didn't seem to deny it. When he did respond, his voice was quiet. "I know."

"You…"Dean hesitated, taken aback. " You know? How?"

"You remember it," John looked down at the man solemnly, understanding in his eyes. "Don't you?'

The father nodded, then began to speak. "I heard someone in the church, and I came out and saw some young man go onto the confessional, and I went into the other booth. We talked for a while, and then I saw this black smoke come through the cracks all of a sudden…"Hesitating, the priest looked over to the confessional, as if the demon smoke was still there. "I couldn't control my body. My mind was screaming at him to run, to go somewhere, do something. I was praying hysterically that I could get rid of it, that it would go away… but it wouldn't." He looked to Dean and John. "How do you two know about this sort of thing? I mean… I believed that demons are real, but I've never thought of them in such physical terms until now."

"We know a little about a lot of things," Dean answered honestly. "And demons are no exception. We hunt things like this and them back where they belong."

The father nodded, frowning. "So that was what the demon was talking about, to that boy…"

"What?!" Dean stopped the man, confused. "What did the demon say to Sam?"

"I… I think you should ask Sam that yourself."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Ruby…"Sam shook his head, not understanding her sudden secrecy. " Just tell me what's going on. What's wrong?"

"Look…"Ruby ran a hand through her hair, frowning. " You were dying, and I panicked. I talked to Dean and he didn't like the idea, but I told him that it was the only way. I never thought that" –

"Ruby!" Sam cut her off. "Just… tell me slowly what you did. It's okay."

"…I found you a blood donor," Ruby started, as if she had to ease into the news.

"Thanks?" Sam wasn't sure what to say. "Ruby, I don't see how you helping me is supposed to be a bad thing. Heck, you probably saved my" –

"It was me Sam." Ruby still didn't meet Sam's eyes.

"Wha…"It took a moment for the news to sink in, for him to get it. But when the truth finally came to Sam, his jaw dropped a little. "You didn't!"

"Look Sam," Ruby looked up, her face angry and ashamed at the same time. "I wasn't just going to let you die! You didn't react to anything else; your body would have rejected it. It was the only thing that" –

"I don't care!" Sam shook his head, furious. He couldn't believe it. Ruby put more demon blood in him. How could she?! "You know how I feel about this. Do you have any idea what this could" –

"That it could turn out bad?"

"Yes! Ruby, I'm the only one of Azazel's experiments or whatever that hasn't turned into a psychopath. Do you not get the fact that I'm a freak as it is? How could you do this to me?!"

"How could I not?!" Ruby stood up, defending herself. "You were going to die Sam! There wasn't a choice here. Besides, you can control your powers now, and this won't change anything."

"Of course it will!" Sam sat up angrily, and then had to lay back down when a shock of pain ran up his entire left side. Sam squeezed his eyes shut for a second, jaw clenched in pain.

Ruby took a step forward to help, but Sam's eyes shot open and he sent her a glare that made her stay where she was.

"Just…"Sam shook his head, looking away. " Just get out."

"Sam…"

"You don't think I gave you enough already?!" Sam shot back angrily. "I did what you wanted, I played by your rules. You didn't bring Dean back, you didn't help me kill Lilith, and now I have angels trying to smite me, and my own brother told me that if he didn't know me, he would want to hunt me. I did everything you ever asked of me, and now you go around and do this to me. So what the hell am I supposed to say to this Ruby? "Thanks for bringing me one step closer to being what I was supposed to be"? I have nothing to say to you."

For a second, Ruby just stood there in astonishment. After a moment, she sighed. "I don't need to take this. So much for saving your life." Ruby shook her head, heading towards the door. "And you know what?" Ruby turned around again before she left. "Dean was the one who agreed to this, alright. He said 'anything to help save Sammy.' So don't pull that 'demon's are liar's' routine with me, because I was the one who saved your ass when it was asked of me. If you haven't noticed, saving you're ass is all I've ever done for a year and a half, and you still treat me like I'm 'just another' demon. So fine Sam, have it your way…"Ruby opened the door. "Have a nice life!" She slammed it behind her, leaving Sam alone with just his thoughts and the endless ceiling tiles above for company.

Half an hour – and a year's worth of thoughts – later, a nurse entered the room pushing a cart with some medical supplies stacked on it. "Oh! Good to see you awake Sam." She pushed the cart to the foot of the bed, and walked over beside him. "How do you feel?"

Sam shrugged half-heartedly, forcing a sarcastic smile. "Like I had been stabbed."

"Oh dear, that wont do now will it?" The nurse shook her head, pursing her lips, and Sam was reminded of one of those annoying Barbie-doll girls. Although Dean wouldn't mind…

"I guess not."

The nurse leaned over, pulling some remote control from somewhere on the side of the bed, and handed it to Sam. She showed Sam how all the buttons worked, and then checked the machine beside Sam as he moved the bed into a setting that didn't feel like he was lying down flat on his back so he could at least sit up a little bit. The nurse asked him various questions about how he felt, showed him the emergency buttons, the TV remote and then finally left with a plastic wave of farewell. "I will be back in an hour or so to check up on you," she assured him in her sticky-sweet voice. "Don't go anywhere now!"

"I wont…"Sam faked a genuine smile, and the nurse shut the door behind her slowly, trotting off to her next patient. Sam wondered how a person could possibly be so flirty, so fake, all the time. To hit on a hospital patient was just… weird. Sam shook his head. Great legs though… Too bad Dean isn't here. Although, if he was, he would probably have her number by now.

Sam shook his head, and he sighed, his thoughts returning to their natural order. Trying not to think about his fight with Ruby, Sam wondered how Dean could possibly agree to put more demon blood in him. Dean was full on against Sam using his powers, and now he just suddenly agrees to this? Did John even know? God, I hope not, Sam thought to himself. He's going to be pissed. Even more pissed than Dean would have been. Maybe even more pissed that I am right now…

Sam turned on the TV, and frowned as he switched channels for a good five minutes until he came to a show he could at least stand to watch. Daytime TV sucks… Despite the horrible TV, Sam let himself get immersed in the show, distracting him from his injuries and the decisions that had been made on his behalf. Sam was barely even aware of what was on the TV after a while, and he looked over to the machine, where the nurse had hooked up a link to the IV that connected him to his precious pain medication, anesthetic pumping into his veins with very second. Sleep seemed like such a good idea…

Dean opened the door quietly, ushering himself into the hospital room marked 112, where, according to the nurse with gorgeous legs, Sam was in recovery. The nurse, other than giving Dean her number, said that Sam would wake up anytime now, that today seemed likely. Sam was propped up into a half-lying-half-sitting-position, asleep. The TV on the shelf across the room was playing… what was it playing? It appeared to be Winnie the Pooh. Dean laughed to himself, wondering why the nurses would have turned the TV on in the first place. Maybe they think Sam has a fondness for cartoons…

When Dean's eyes drifted back to his brother, he let the smile slip from his face. Sam looked awful. He was pale, which made the bruises on his face stand out even more, and he just had the look of someone on his death bed. As if Dean hadn't seen enough of that already… Who am I kidding? There was nothing to smile about; no way that joking to himself over mundane things would make anything better. Or change what happened…

"Hey Sammy…"Dean kept his voice quiet as he sunk into the chair beside Sam's bed. " It's me. Or, I guess you can hear my voice, so you already know that..."Dean cleared his throat, trying to keep the fear out of his voice. Ever since Sam's stabbing, the earthquake, and the incident with the defibrillator, Dean was so freaked out for the kid that he would probably freak out if a bug landed on his brother. It didn't help that the last conversation he had with Sam didn't end well at all. "Sam… I – uh – I need to apologize to you for before. Dad and I are so pigheaded, you know. We're just having such a hard time dealing all this and we got so worked up about the whole deal thing. I don't expect you to understand – not that you don't – its just that we both …uh…

"Look Sammy, I know I've been giving you a hard time lately. It's just that all of this has been so hard. Coming back, everything has changed. And everything is so different for dad too, I know that… I just wanted to say that I'm… I'm sorry I never understood until now. I mean… Hell was just – just – it was horrible Sammy. I know you know that. You listened to me, you understood, but…"Dean shook his head, looking down at his brothers face in despair, wishing the boy would just freaking say something. Anything. "I was just so worked up with what happened, that I sort of forgot what you went through… I know I've been giving you a hard time lately, on your powers, and some decisions you've made but I had no right. I wasn't there. You were right. I've never really been without someone for real. When mom died, I had you and dad. When dad went missing, the first thing I did was drag you away from home, and when he died you were still with me. So when you died… I just… I was so scared Sammy. I didn't want to be alone. I told myself that it was the right thing to do, and that you would be able to survive without me even though I couldn't survive without you. I never meant to do all this to you…"Dean fought back the waterworks, wiping his eyes with the palms of his hands. God, this would be so much easier if the kid didn't just lie there… Dean was used to Sam's eye rolls and sad looks, the way he always accepted an apology but never backed down until he got one… Why wouldn't he wake up? He was supposed to wake up! "Sammy…"Dean waited a few seconds, as if his brother would just jump awake at his childhood nickname, shout surprise and fight with Dean over the remote so they wouldn't have to watch freaking Winnie the Pooh anymore, but it was to no avail. Sam was still out cold. Well, Dean grabbed the remote from the table and switched it to something at least more bearable, trying to take his mind off of Sam. Maybe he heard me. People always say that when you are unconscious that you can hear people… Dean shook his head, not liking the thought of Sam stuck in his head for hours on end, scared and alone, waiting for someone to talk to him. No… Dean sighed deeply, wiping his eyes yet again. If he heard, he heard. If not, I will just have to swallow my damn pride and apologize another time…

Allowing himself one precious glance back at his comatose brother before forcing himself to turn back to the TV, Dean bit his lip, wondering if his family's suffering would ever end. With a heavy sigh, Dean knew that, if there was an end, it was not anytime soon.