Wow, this is crazy long. I should have cut it off earlier, but it really needed to end the way it does. Maybe you'll like it more because there's more to read, especially since it's been forever since I've updated. Pretty close to two months. Wow. Well, I hope you enjoy!
Liz sleeps restlessly that night. She has visions of Slash, come again from deep within her dark mind. Blood drips from him and he taunts her until she prays for death and gets it when the blood swallows her whole. She jerks awake once, or maybe three or five times, and in the end she cries herself to sleep. It's been too long. She hasn't talked to Leo in too long. Before it was bad – the nightmares – but tonight they're savage. She's begun to crack, she knows it. She needs to talk to him. He needs to wake up. He has to.
The darkness fuzzes. Sounds trickle in, sounds much louder than normal. She rolls over and her eyes flutter open to a bright, blurry scene. "Hey!" A voice says. A hand lands heavy on her shoulder and shakes her. "Get up!" She sucks in a sharp breath and jolts upright. She jerks her gaze around and the figure is already zooming away from her. Mikey…? "He's up. Leo's woke up." Mikey throws her a look over his shoulder as he laughs.
Liz leaps from the couch. She stumbles and catches herself on the arm. She digs her nails into the fabric and propels herself across the room. She scrabbles toward the lab, her eyes widening by the second and her heart hammering in her chest. She reaches the lab in the next instant and comes to a screeching halt. She curls her fingers around the frame of the door and peers within, holding her breath as she looks onto the scene.
Leo sits up. He rubs at his head and slowly opens his eyes to a crowd. All of his brothers and his father surround him. "Guys…" His voice is weak and matches his smile. "You look terrible." He manages a feeble laugh.
Raph laughs out loud. "That's what we should be saying." He touches Leo lightly on the shoulder. "You've been out forever." He cringes as he reminds himself of just how bad the situation was for all of them, especially himself.
Even in his fuzzy state Leo notices his brother falter. "Forever?" He says half to himself. He frowns. "Right…" He snaps his head up and his eyes widen. "Right!" He hisses as the sharp movement disturbs one of his injuries.
Donnie moves in closer. "Easy Leo." Donnie sets his hands on Leo's shoulders. "Some of your injuries were pretty bad. They're still healing."
Leo nods, but he doesn't let it go. "I…I was attacked." His chest tightens as a flash comes back to him. Claws…lightning speed…and blood. So much blood. He shudders. "But I…" He grimaces and his brows furrow. "I can't remember who."
"It's alright." Donnie assures. "It doesn't matter now. You're safe and as long as you stay here you'll stay safe." He smiles, but it is broken at the edges. A terrible possibility slithers through his head, one he knows Raph and Leo too must be thinking. But no…just no. There's no way.
"Yeah!" Mikey pipes. He leaps forward and pushes past Raph. "I'm so glad you're ok." He throws his arms around Leo's neck and hugs tight. He lets out a shuddery breath and struggles to hide the pain and the tears that are so close to falling.
Leo cringes, but he forces the feeling down. He knows he was told not so long ago that ignoring his own needs was bad and paying himself more mind might save him much turmoil, but he can't help it. He wraps his arms around Mikey and rests his head on his brother's shoulder. He can't bear to upset his baby brother more than he already is.
"My son," Splinter moves to the forefront. He smiles. "I am so happy you are alright." Splinter touches Leo lightly atop his head.
Leo smiles wide and basks in the attention. With four children it is rare to be the focus of his father's love. "You shouldn't have worried father." He chuckles. Of course he should have. Leo gets flashes of how bad it was. He knows there was a terrible amount of blood.
"Are you really ok?" Raph's voice is tight as it interrupts Leo's thoughts. His hands clench into fists.
Leo lifts his head and peers up at Raph. "Yeah," He nods slightly. "I just wonder…" He drops his gaze. The truth hangs in the air. Could it have been her? He prays not, but he has a sick feeling.
Raph bites down hard on his lip. "Me too." He grits out. If he ever lays eyes on the mutt again he swears he'll kill her. As much as he hates to hurt Donnie and his delicate feelings when it comes to her, he won't be able to hold back. Not after this.
Liz stares longingly at the happy reunion. Tears itch at her eyes, tears somewhere between relief and sadness. They're a family and she is glad they are no longer broken. But it is a stone cold reminder that she has no family. Despite how long she has been here and how wonderful it would be to be a part of their world, she knows that she is not, could never be. She swallows hard. No…never. She frowns and wipes at her eyes. She takes a large step back. She might as well leave.
Leo perks as he notices movement. He looks past his father and his brothers and focuses on the girl beyond them. "Liz," Her name is a breath on his lips. His twists in his anxiety and gasps as he moves his body in the wrong way. He grips at his stomach and pitches forward.
In an instant everyone converges. They say his name and fuss over him as if he is a child.
Liz freezes and sucks in a sharp breath. Her eyes widen and she tenses. I've hurt him. Just like she manages to hurt everyone around her.
Leo waves them away. "Back up, back up." He blows out a breath. "Jeez," He scowls at the lot of them. "You don't have to worry so much." They probably do. "I just want to see her." He stretches himself so that he sees over them. "Liz," His call is much stronger this time.
Liz jumps slightly, startled out of her guilt trip. She meets eyes with him and for a long moment she doesn't move. Then she tentatively moves forward. She enters the lab and comes to stand by the Leo, the cluster of his family spreading out to make room for her. It very nearly chokes her up as she imagines herself important and belonging enough so that they make way for her.
Leo swings his legs over the edge and face her. "Did you make it alright?" He wants to believe that she is independent enough at this point to survive without him, but he's no fool. He can see it in her eyes too – she is a mere inch from the edge.
Liz trembles faintly. "Maybe," Her voice cracks slightly. "But I…I'm glad you're awake again." She breathes deeply in and out. "I…missed you."
Leo smiles at her. He reaches up and sets his hands on her shoulders. He doesn't dare go farther. "Likewise." As deep and dark as his darkness was, he still knew he was missing something, something precious like them and her and home.
Liz lays her hands over his and squeezes. She smiles and the sentiment cracks at the edges. She catches her breath.
"Liz," Leo says softly. He draws her down and to his side. He wraps an arm around her and holds her close. He sets his head atop hers and doesn't say a word. Words break. They are fragile things and tiptoeing among them is only asking for trouble.
Liz leans her head into the crook of his neck. She feels guilty – stealing his attention away from his true family – but she can't find the strength to pull away. She simply closes her eyes and shuts it all out. She lets cold hard reality wash away and the pain recede.
Leo looks up at his brothers as he holds onto her. He sees the concern spilling forth and he smiles up at them. "I'm ok guys." He uses his free hand to reach out and pat Mikey atop his head. "Really. I'll be alright now."
Mikey grins at Leo's affectionate touch. It's been too long since he has felt his brother's touch at all, let alone in such a soft way. He nods and steps back, allowing the others to get their fair share.
Donnie steps forward. "I know, I know." Donnie can't find it in him to smile even as happy and relieved as he is. "But," He rubs the back of his neck. "I'm going to keep a close eye on you anyway. Ok? I don't want you to slip into another coma or aggravate lingering wounds." He bows his head. "Sorry."
Leo chuckles. "I understand." He would have patted Donnie's head just like Mikey, but this brother is far too tall from Leo's angle. It makes him smile even more. "Just don't hover too much."
Donnie finally manages it – he smiles shyly. "I'll try." He fidgets for a moment after that and then mimics Mikey. He nudges his little brother and herds him out of the lab. It isn't that Raph has any right greater than their own, but he saw him the other day. It's best to let him get it out right up front. It will be better for everyone.
Splinter touches Leo lightly on the shoulder one last time and gives his son a tender smile before he too exits. He doesn't need to know the incidents following Leo's coma to know his most emotional son needs privacy. After the incident with Alopex, Raph is fifty layers of overprotective, especially toward Leo. So Splinter gives him his chance for relief – finally.
Raph eyes Leo's new appendage with no lack of contempt. There's no reason for him to be so angry or bitter toward her, no reason but heavy jealousy and a sense of entitlement. Honestly he should be ashamed for such feelings, especially after she tried so hard to help him yesterday. Halfway did help. Still he glares nonetheless. Only as Leo's voice reaches him does he snap his head up and the ill thoughts fall to the wayside.
"Raph," Leo frowns and his eyes swim with worry. "I know you all are worried over me and my welfare, but I have to ask. Are you alright?"
Raph averts his eyes and scowls at the ground. "I'm fine." He grumbles. He never could stand how easily Leo read him, not as a kid and especially not now. "I'm not the one who got torn apart by some mutant."
"Raph," His voice is low, warning. He levels his brother with a sharp look.
"Save it Leo." He clenches his hands into fists. "Stop trying to put everyone's needs above your own. You're the one hurt, not me." He flinches as a long buried piece of advice echoes in his head. You may be the protector, but look after yourself sometimes too. He grimaces.
Leo remembers just as well. "No," He moves on from the thought as quickly as possible. "You're wrong." As usual. "My body may be beaten, but I am happy. You," He looks his brother over a final time. "You're on the edge. Even though you can see and feel me here before you, you're an inch from cracking." He shakes his head. "Then what? What are you going to do when you snap – when you hurt someone because you hurt so badly you can't hold it in anymore?"
"Shut up!" Raph trembles noticeably. Don't lose control. Don't lose control. Don't. He's supposed to be happy that Leo is awake. And yet it's true – his volatile emotions are finally bursting forth. It's too much – the heartache, the self-hate, and even the happiness.
Liz growls deep in her throat. She can't tune it out any longer. She can't ignore this idiocy. She jerks upright. "No, you shut up!" She says it without thinking. She scowls up at Raph and does not think of backing down even as shock passes over his face. "How can you be this way? He's awake. Leo's finally awake. And all you can do is yell and pitch a fit like a child."
Leo opens his mouth to coax her down, but he finds no words to speak. All he can do is stare as she digs into Raph.
"What's the point of lying about it?" Liz throws a hand in the air. "Huh? We all know the things you do – did – while Leo struggled. And Leo's not stupid. Without seeing he knows too. So just say it already. Tell him how you spiraled until you hit rock bottom and cut your feet open to relieve the pain." She narrows her eyes and the next words curl her tongue in an almost smug way. "Tell him how you couldn't even sleep because of your fear of her."
Raph gapes. His shock however is obliterated by a haze of rage. "You…" He breathes heavily in and out. "You dirty snitch." He quakes fiercely. Beneath the harsh words lie another message. How could you? You promised. He is an inch from jumping her, an inch from more regrets.
"What!?" Leo retracts his arm from Liz and leaps to his feet. He falters slightly with the pain of the movement, but he quickly regains his fury. "You hurt yourself?" A fire lights in his eyes. "Have you completely lost your mind?"
"I didn't do it on purpose." Raph snaps back. "I was-I just…" He sighs in aggravation. "It's your fault! You had to go and get yourself half killed by God knows what. You worried us sick." He slams a hand against his own chest. "And I…there was nothing I could do." Tears well in his eyes. "I had to watch…just watch you as you laid there, barely breathing, barely living." His voice cracks. "So what? What do you want from me?"
Leo lets out a breath. A deep frown mars his features. "I know." They all know the change in him ever since Alopex. The ordeal has affected him of all people, more so even than Donnie it seems now. He walks slowly forward. "And I'm sorry. But you can't let that happen to you." He sets his hands on Raph's shoulders. "You have to control it – let it out. Rely on people." His eyes flit to Liz. Like he seems to have done with her. A privilege which she so swiftly betrayed.
Raph lays his hands over Leo's and grips a bit tighter than he intended. His body trembles and he chokes back sobs. He nods. It's just harder than it sounds.
Leo steps forward and slips his hands out from under Raph's hands. He wraps his arms around his brother and hugs tight. He rests his head on Raph's shoulder. "It's alright." He breathes. "She isn't going to come back. She won't do anything to me – or any of us."
Raph throws his arms around Leo and holds on even tighter. He doesn't bother hiding it anymore, he lets the tears break free and trickle down his face. He wishes he could believe Leo, he really does. But it's not so easy. He may not ever overcome these feelings – of the deepest kind of betrayal – because of her.
Liz sighs and smiles weakly. It's not what she expected and certainly not what she wanted, but it isn't so bad. She feels absolutely rotten for giving away Raph's secrets – especially the one concerning 'her', the her she suspects is Alopex. But she had to. If she hadn't then things surely would have escalated and then would probably not ended in comforting words and actions but lashing out and a heavy weight of regrets.
She stands slowly, keeping her eyes glued on the pair. They don't notice her shift nor do they notice as she creeps around them and slips to the door and out into the living room. She glances fleetingly over her shoulder before hurrying on. They're better that way – alone. She sinks down on the couch and her shoulders relax as she leans back against it. Tomorrow things will go back to normal. A tiny smile flits across her lips. Thank God.
She lifts her head as she glimpses a pile of clothes resting on the table ahead of her. Oh, right. She still hasn't worn those. There's just been too much going on. She bends over and picks them up. But now, now everything will calm down. Might as well celebrate this return to normal by returning a part of herself to normal too. She pulls the shirt over her head and bounces around on one foot until she wins the battle with her pants.
She holds her arms out and wiggles her legs. She looks down at herself and a large smile spreads over her face. At last. She giggles and hugs herself. Everything is falling into place.
…
After Leo wakes up everything returns to normal, mostly. Everyone is much happier and Raph starts to leave his room and act like his usual self. Of course he hovers around Leo more than usual and Donnie checks on Leo every few hours, but as a whole life is normal. As normal as living in the sewers with a group of mutants can be.
Liz too is better. She skips through the lair and along to the kitchen. She digs through the fridge and finds nothing but pizza. Naturally. She chuckles at the fact. She never knew anyone so obsessed with pizza. She would think they'd eat a bit better. But whatever.
"Looking for food?" Donnie's voice intrudes in her thoughts.
Liz raises up and glances over at him. She grins and bobs her head. "But all you have is pizza." She waves at the fridge. "And it's kinda, well, gross." She half laughs.
Donnie chuckles. He supposes as a human her tastes are very different. "Let me look." He moves to a set of cabinets and opens them one by one. He peers in and digs around. "You want a sandwich or what? Cereal?"
Liz shuts the fridge door as she twirls about. She opens her mouth to answer then snaps it shut. She jumps slightly as the space before her is suddenly filled by another turtle. As her surprise settles she smiles. She wiggles her fingers in a sort of wave.
Raph looks her over. His brows draw together and a frown curves his lips. In the end he looks completely unimpressed. "You look dumb in those clothes."
Liz starts. She opens and closes her mouth around empty words. What the heck?
"Raph!" Donnie jerks his head around. He glares at his brother.
"What?" He snorts and crosses his arms. "It's true. She looked better before."
Liz blinks. The shock and creeping hurt subsides. Better…before? Her brows furrow and she bows her head as she works through these strange words.
"What the heck?" Donnie turns on Raph, peanut butter in hand. "Are you trying to be a jerk or what?"
"No," Raph puts extra emphasis in the word. "I'm just sayin'. Because it's true. She looks dumb in those human clothes."
"Stop it." Donnie points a warning finger at his brother.
Liz tunes them out. They go back and forth for a minute or two before she settles on the true meaning behind the words. She smiles to herself. "Donnie," She waits for him to stop yelling at Raph and look at her. "It's alright." She moves toward him and gently pries his fingers from the peanut butter to take it from him. "I understand." She turns to Raph and her smile widens. "Thanks." She reaches up and pets him on the head as if he was a dog. Then she hurries out of the kitchen.
Raph makes a face. "Wha…?" He twists around to look after her. She is already gone. "She's so weird." He swipes at his head as if to rub her touch away.
Donnie frowns. "Hm." He crosses his arms. "Hardly. She just knows how to deal with you." Donnie smirks and shoots a knowing look at his brother.
Raph mimics Donnie's words in a much more high pitched tone. "Whatever." He adds at the end. "I didn't mean anything except those clothes look dumb on her."
"Ok." Donnie rolls his eyes.
Liz struggles with the lid of the peanut butter. Her tongue peeks out from her mouth she concentrates so hard. She doesn't hear or see anything around her. So she runs hard into the object in her path. She grunts and stumbles back. The apology forms on her lips but as she looks up it falls away. She gasps. Her eyes widen and her heart skips a beat. April.
"Oh, sorry." April laughs. She tucks her hair behind her ear. "I didn't see you-." She falters as she lifts her gaze and comes face to face with the mutant she has heard so much about. "Oh." She looks on in awe of the girl turned lizard. She drinks in as much of the girl as she can before it's too late.
Liz snaps out of it and scrambles back. She turns hard on her heel and rockets out of there.
"Hey!" April reaches uselessly after her. "Wait…" She sticks her lips out in a pout. What is will that girl? Can these boys not pick up a normal mutant? Ha…normal, right. Because mutants can be normal. Maybe not, but at least normal insomuch as April being able to befriend them. First there was Alopex who hated her for no fathomable reason and now this girl is terrified by the very sight of her. "Man…" She slumps. "This sucks…"
Liz zooms around the corner and back into the kitchen. Donnie notices and raises a brow. "Liz? What-"
Liz zips between the pair and pivots, placing herself firmly behind Raph. She latches onto his shoulders and ducks slightly, her eyes just peeking over the shoulder.
Raph makes a disgruntled sound. "What the heck girlie?" He scowls.
Liz ducks a little farther as if to escape from him without giving up her own personal shield.
"Donnie!" April's voice rings throughout the lair. Oh. So that's it. Donnie lets out a breath. "It's alright Liz. You don't have to be afraid of her. She's a good person. Really." A pained smile cracks his lips. "Not all people are evil."
Liz averts her eyes. She keeps her lips pressed together.
Donnie looks away as well. "I'll go greet her." He fiddles with his fingers. "You should too." He directs at Liz before turning and leaving the kitchen. "Coming April!"
Raph stares at the empty doorway for a moment then snorts. "Alright, now let go." He swats at her hands. "April isn't gonna be coming in here. So stop being a chicken."
Liz scowls. She holds on tighter, digging her claws into his skin the tiniest bit. "I'm not a chicken." Her voice wavers slightly.
Raph hisses as her claws take hold in him. "Then stop using me as a meat shield." He attempts to pry her hands off of him. "You act like April is gonna kill you or something."
"No," She says indignantly. She puffs out her lower lip. "But…she…" She averts her eyes and slackens her grip. She lets him detach himself from her. "Is human…"
Raph turns to face her. He crosses his arms. "Come on," He frowns. "You can't stay this way. Just because he hurt you doesn't mean everyone else will – or anyone. People can be rotten, obviously, but she is not one of those people." He points to the wall, indicating April beyond it. "You're only hurting yourself by thinking it."
Liz knows he's right. But she also knows something else. "You mean like the way you are with Alopex." She peers up, almost innocently so. She holds her breath, praying she hasn't once more over stepped her boundaries.
Raph stiffens. His lips curl back in a snarl. "Don't. Say her name. Ever."
Liz swallows hard. "Why not?" She gathers her strength and each word spoken is stronger than the last. "What happened with her?" With each question she takes a step forward, getting up in his face. "Why do you talk about her like she's a curse? What did she do? Was she…like me…?"
Raph breathes deeply in and out. "No."
Liz retracts herself. She frowns deeply. "No? No what?" She tilts her head.
"I'm not talking to you about anything, especially not her." His emerald eyes blaze. "You'll just go tell the whole world if I do."
Liz starts. What? Oh. Right. She bites her lip. "Uh…yeah," She tugs at her arm, er, shirt. Well, it seems she got more used to no clothes than she thought. "Look, I'm sorry about that."
Raph scoffs." Yeah," He sneers. "I'm sure you are."
"No, really." She clenches her fists. "I didn't mean to. But you…you were just," She sighs. "So frustrating. You were trying to pick a fight with Leo, and after you cried over not being able to know he was ok." She shakes her head. "I didn't want you to fight…"
Raph stares long and hard. He searches her face for insincerity and it only frustrates him more when he can find none. He emits a low growl. "Whatever." He grunts. "And those clothes still make you look absolutely ridiculous."
Liz shrugs. She drops her gaze to the ground. "Maybe. But…" She picks at the hem in the clothes. "It makes me feel safe."
Raph's brows furrow. A deep frown curves his lips. "You don't feel safe here?" He says it without thinking.
Liz perks. She blinks up at him. In his tone, is that…hurt? "I don't feel safe anywhere." She shrugs. She looks away from him. Except with the one person who I killed. "But," She looks back at him and manages a small smile. "Here is pretty close."
Raph can't bear to keep eye contact. He grimaces. "Liz…"
"April! Wait!" Donnie's voice shatters the moment.
Raph and Liz jump at the sound and jerk their heads around just in time to see April as she walks through the door and Donnie in the next instant, following just behind her.
April tosses her head. Her hair sways and splays out with the movement, spreading out and reaching just past her shoulders. "Relax Donnie, I just want to grab a snack."
Liz freezes. It's bad enough she is so close to a wretched human, but now she has to be taunted on top of that. She zones in on the curtain of orange locks that cascades down April's back. Her fingers curl inward and her hands tremble slightly. Her lips curl back in disgust and crippling envy. It was easy to forget before, with only other mutant surrounding her, but now she remembers. It hits her like a punch in the gut. Hair.
April jerks to attention. "Oh." So this is where the lizard girl ran off to. "Hey again," She tries to wave. She offers a smile, one tempered with uncertainty. "Uh, sorry for scaring you."
Liz doesn't hear a word. She plummets into the darkness of the past. She sees herself tossing her head back and forth, her brown hair swishing gracefully. She imagines the heat coursing through each strand as she curled it for a dance or one of her father's presentations. She remembers the compliments that her friends would shower on her and even some boys. For a moment she even feels the weight upon her head as if her hair has returned to her. Then it shatters. Reality crashes hard on her and the tremors in her hands have worked their way all the way up her body.
Raph notices her shift. He raises a brow and can't help but frown. What the heck? "Liz?" He says carefully. She looks almost like he did only a few days ago.
April touches her fingertips to her lips and her brows draw together. "Are you ok?"
Liz's eyes burn with slowly building tears. "Fine." She grinds out. She hates herself for it, but she can't force her gaze away from April's blazing hair. She stifles any sounds and hurries past. She can't look at the stupid stuff if she isn't within eye sight.
"Liz, wait," Donnie grabs onto her arm. "Don't be mad. Come on, just give her a chance."
"Later Donnie." Her voice is low. "Not now." She shakes her head. "I…just no." She removes his hand from her and doesn't waste another moment. She leaves the kitchen.
Donnie stares longingly after her. His hand lingers in the air. "But…" Why can't she just give April a chance? Is she really so damaged? Or is nothing more than being petty. No. He shakes his head. That would never be it. Certainly not.
Raph makes a face as a realization hits him. He looks to April. "Why the heck do you have your hair down? Lose all your hair things?" He chuckles and smiles to himself.
April rolls her eyes. "No, genius," She touches her locks with affection. "It was to prove a point. Casey said I couldn't pull of the 'hair down' look." A scowl flickers across her face. "I can so pull it off." She sets a hand on her hip.
Donnie springs on this opportunity. "Yeah, don't listen to him April." He gives one firm nod. "You definitely pull it off." A dopey smile spreads across his face. "Beautifully."
April looks at him dubiously. "Gee, thanks Donnie."
Raph rolls his eyes. His gaze drifts to the kitchen doorway. That's the way she left, the only way to leave. Unfortunately there are a million ways to branch off from there. He frowns deeply. She didn't look so good either. He looks back and forth between April and Donnie. They don't seem to be paying any attention other than to each other.
He quietly exits the kitchen and walks down the hall. He looks back and forth. She's noout here, not surprisingly. He makes his way to the living room and peers over at the couch. Not there either. It really is too open he supposes. He frowns and taps his chin with his knuckles. Where could she have gone? He gasps. She wouldn't have left. He jerks his head around. Would she?
He hurries to the tunnel. He leaps the turnstiles in one smooth move and is prepared to keep going when he sees her. Her soft green skin catches his eye and he comes to a sharp halt. Thank God. He lets out a breath. A scowl flickers across his face and his lips part to scold her. Then he stops. The anger falls away as he looks directly at her.
Liz sits with her legs drawn up to her chest. Her arms are wrapped around her knees as she rests her head sideways against them. Her eyes are red and faint traces of tears mark her cheeks.
Raph sighs. He slinks closer. "What are you doing all the way out here?"
Liz jumps slightly. She jerks her head up and stares with wide eyes. She sees it is him and quickly shoves her head back to her knees. She presses her lips tightly together and makes it a point to look as far from him as ever.
Raph ignores her annoying reaction. He settles down beside her. "Come on," He leans forward, trying to get a glimpse of her face. But the best he sees is the top of her head. Her face is the exact opposite direction of him. "Why would you go out here?"
Liz tightens her grip around her legs. "I was waiting," She sniffles.
"Waiting?" Raph frowns. He tilts his head.
Liz nods, her check rubbing against her knees. "For Mikey."
Raph makes a face. "What?" He clears his throat and quiets. Why would she wait out here for Mikey? He's ten times as likely to be in front of the tv. Come to think of it though…he wasn't. Raph blinks. But that's not what this is about. He makes sure his tone now is gentler, "What happened back there?"
Liz twists her body so she blocks him out even more. "Go away." She clenches her fists.
Raph scowls. He bites his lip to keep himself from biting back. After a moment he releases himself and speaks carefully, "Liz," He sighs. He draws his knees up and rests his elbows on top of them. He drops his head in his palms and stares at the ground. "I know I'm not good with silent understanding like Leo, or taking care of people like Donnie, and I'm especially not good with empathizing or words like Mikey, but that doesn't mean I can't help you."
Liz tentatively lifts her gaze. She glances at him from the corner of her eye.
Raph looks up. He catches her eyes on him. "So come on," He touches her lightly on the shoulder. "What's wrong?"
Liz's lip trembles and water builds in her eyes again. "It's stupid." She sniffles and rubs at her eyes. "But I…I just couldn't take it. April, she-" Her voice catches in her throat and it takes a moment for her to recollect herself. "I just couldn't stand watching her," She covers her head with her hands. "Her and her hair."
Raph sucks in a soft breath. Oh. "Liz…"
"I'm so petty." Liz whimpers. "It's so stupid. But she…she's so pretty. Just like I used to be." A sob catches in her throat.
"What?" Raph scoffs. "Don't be ridiculous. You don't need a full head of hair to be pretty."
Liz starts. Her eyes widen. "W-What?" She shifts herself ever so slightly so she can better look at him.
"Sure, April's got nice hair. And I'm sure when you were human you did too, and…I'm sorry for that. But you're not human anymore. And you look just fine."
Liz sniffles. She wipes at her nose. "You…" He looks straight at him. A frown twitches at her lips. "You don't mean it." Her eyes betray her lingering hope.
"Liz," He looks hard at her. "You're pretty. For a mutant, you are very pretty." He shows a half smile.
Liz chokes out a laugh. She smiles in return. "Thank you." She runs her fingers in small circles on her leg.
Raph's smile widens. "Except for those awful clothes of yours."
Liz snorts. She swats at him. "Whatever." She chuckles. She wipes the tear tracks from her face.
Raph watches her for a minute, pulled in by the spark in her eyes. But he knows there is probably no real reason to stay now. "Are you, uh, ok then?"
Liz sighs. "Can I ask you something?" Her voice wavers despite her efforts.
Raph raises a brow. "Uh…sure." He shrugs. He isn't sure if he likes the sound of this though.
"What would you do?" She breathes. "If you lost someone you loved." Her throat tightens and her muscles tense. "And it was all your fault…?"
Raph's brows furrow and his mouth gapes slightly. What? Where was this coming from? "I…" Wait. He does remember…something. Quite a while ago now. Something about her friend, and being dead. He grimaces. "I lost someone once. He was one of my best friends…family even." He utters a strained laugh. "But I messed up, and…he's gone now. Because I wasn't good enough." He clenches his hands into fists. He scowls heatedly at the ground. "And I…the only way to deal with it is…to move on." He puffs out a breath. "To remember the good times…and let everything else go. The what ifs…everything."
Liz opens and closes her mouth around empty words. All she can do is stare for the longest time. Then she manages it, "I'm sorry."
Raph chuckles. "Nah, it's fine. It…happened a long time ago." He pushes himself to his feet. "So…" He can't help but frown. "Whoever you lost because of what happened…you should probably do the same." He holds out his hand to help her up.
Liz hesitates. It shouldn't, but she knows to take his hand would mean to agree. Her gaze flits from his offering to his face. She bites her lip. "O…Ok." She sets her hand in his and swallows the terrible taste in her mouth – a flavor surely only meant for cold hard regret.
Raph pulls her to her feet and releases her. "Come on," He nods toward the living room. "Let's go watch some tv."
Liz smiles. "Alright. Just…please no Space Heroes." She giggles.
Raph grins from ear to ear. "Not on this planet. Space Heroes is for losers like Leo." He walks on to the couch.
"Raph," Liz gives him a sharp look. "Leo is not a loser."
"If you say so." He laughs. He sits on the far end of the couch and nabs the remote from the cushion. "So what do you wanna watch?"
Liz shrugs as she sits next to him. "Anything without shooting please." She reflexively rubs her arms. Again she is surprised by the clothing. Maybe Raph's right. Maybe it is stupid. She glances at him.
Raph doesn't notice. He flips through the channels. He blows out a breath. "I don't know. I guess this stupid cartoon is fine." A sponge moves across the screen with a starfish. "What even."
Liz chuckles. "It's a pretty popular kid's show. I watched it all the time as a kid. It's funny."
Raph shrugs. "Ok."
As stupid as the show is and how grating the sponge's laugh is Raph can't help but be drawn in by it. He loses track of the time and is oblivious as everyone else begins to trickle into the room and claim their spots around the television. Donnie sits next to Liz with April at his other side and Mikey stretches out on the floor. They watch with varying degrees of interest, but no one bothers to change the channel or even ask despite how much they'd rather be watching something else. Then Leo comes.
"Hey," Leo calls as he approaches. All their heads turn to him for reasons somewhere between attentiveness and concern that something may be wrong with him. He doesn't miss it either, but he does ignore it. "Change the channel for a minute will you?" He motions to the television. "The news is coming on."
Raph flips over to the news and prepares to be less than surprised. There hasn't been anything big since the earthquakes from those worm monsters. 'Big news' nowadays means a car crash. "Our top story tonight - feral creatures ravage New York!" They all jerks their heads up instantly. "The city is in chaos as a group of unidentified monsters roam the streets. No camera has been able to catch these creatures but the evidence of their presence is very real and very well known." Images of the city in ruins flash across the screen.
A woman appears next. She is shaking terribly and she can't keep her eyes straight. She looks over her shoulder every couple of seconds. "It was terrible!" She bites her nails. "They came out of nowhere and attacked me. Th-They-oh man," She grips her head. "I don't know how I survived."
A man appears next. He holds his shoulders back and his head high. Still, the fear lurks within his wide eyes. "It was unbelievable. I mean, I ain't never seen creatures like that." He smirks. "But I hit 'em good. Ran 'em clean over with my baby." He motions behind him, to a car. "But…" He frowns and his brows furrow. "They…they just got up and kept going. It was…unbelievable."
Another man shows up. "Yeah, I know what they look like. Like big, ugly, human sized turtles and lizards. I told you! I told you all! Those sewers hold monsters! They change animals. Just like them there turtles and lizards."
Well you heard it folks." Carlos is on now. "Eye witness accounts of these unstoppable beasts. Is there no hope? Will no one ever be able to catch these things." He shudders. "WILL I EVER HAVE A NORMAL NEWSCAST?" A nervous laugh escapes him. "Sorry," He rubs the back of his neck. "This is Carlos Chang O'Brian saying-" A scream pierces the air and in the next instant a creature catapults itself at the newscaster, its face showing clear through the camera and onto tv.
"No way!" The turtles cry in unison. "Slash!?"
Liz freezes. He mouth gapes and her eyes shoot open. Her hands tremble at her sides and her heart skips a beat. No way. He's alive. He's really and truly alive. A grin spreads across her face. She…didn't kill him. But now…she frowns. Now he's destroying the city. Why? Then it hits her. Looking for me. Her heart does a somersault. Oh, but then she must go. Right now! She has to find him! She has to tell him she's alright! She-
"What the heck have you guys been doing!?" Leo's voice breaches her thoughts. "Sleeping? Just because I'm out doesn't mean you can just not go topside! We have a job to do. We have to protect people! We-"
"Well excuse us for thinking you're more important than them." Raph scowls over at Leo.
"Don't even play that card." Leo shakes a finger at Raph.
"Guys," Donnie says with extra emphasis. "We really don't have time for this." He waves his hands in a circle, indicating them. "Slash is out there destroying the city and we have to stop him – now."
Liz looks frantically back and forth between them. What? They know him? They know Slash? But, how? Why? Stop him? No! They can't! She bites her lip. But she can't say she knows him. That would only end badly. They'd interrogate her and unwittingly break her and all of it only to go after Slash anyway. She's seen this play out before. After all Slash has done to their city, their home, they won't show any mercy, not even for her sake.
April's lips curl in a snarl as she watches the cycle of images flash across the screen, each one more horrific than the last. "What a monster."
Liz snaps her head up. He worries are consumed by a vortex of rage. Her fingers curl inward and she clenches them into tight fists. "What?" She says through clenched teeth. She turns her blazing eyes on April. It is clear the girl did not hear her. That is just all the more infuriating. Calm. A tiny part of her mind echoes. Don't do it. Don't. But the word brings up terrible memories, memories of pain, fear, and worst of all blood. All that blood…all over him…all because of her.
April doesn't even glance Liz's way. She is completely wrapped up in the images. "Just look at that." She waves her hand toward the screen. "It's absolutely unbelievable." She shakes her head. "Only a monster could do this."
That's it. Liz twists and launches herself at April.
April yelps, but there's no time for anything more.
Liz takes April to the ground. She snatches a handful of the girl's hair a pulls with all her might. Stupid girl, stupid orange hair, stupid everything.
April screams. She draws her knees in and slams them up, catching Liz in the stomach and throwing her up and over. April gasps as her hair goes with Liz and twists quickly. "What are you doing?" She has an inkling to go for her weapon, but she hesitates.
Liz growls deep in her throat. She propels herself across the room. She goes for the face with one hand and the hair with the other.
"April! Liz!" The turtles cry in unison. "Stop!" They rush from the couch and toward the girls.
April's eyes catch fire. Fine. If she wants to fight, then they'll fight. April punches back. She lands one on Liz's jaw.
Liz's teeth clatter together and electric pain races through her mouth, but she does not cave. She sinks her claws in deep to the girl's skin, too deep. Blood. The multitude of marks scouring her face all sprout blood at once. She freezes.
April doesn't. She shoves Liz from atop her and springs to all fours. She is prepared to jump at Liz.
"April!" Donnie grabs her from behind and pulls her back. "Enough. That's enough!"
April struggles against Donnie's holds. She breathes heavily in and out, her bared teeth showing vicious and her eyes filled to the brim with fury.
Raph goes to Liz. He bends down next to her. "What the heck Liz?" He helps her to her feet. Even when standing her keeps one arm around her to make sure she remains steady. That look in her eye…it's chillingly vacant. The rage from before is gone. A blanket of fear blinds her now. "What were you thinking?"
"Let me go!" April growls. "Let me go Donnie! I'm gonna-I'm gonna…" She claws uselessly at the air.
"Enough." Leo's voice reigns over them all. "April, calm down." He looks hard at her. Then he swivels. "And you," His brows furrow. "Why would you do that?" He frowns, struggling to temper his confusion with proper anger.
"Yeah," Donnie looks in disbelief at her. "She didn't do anything. And I'm sorry, but you are not that traumatized anymore. You aren't going to freak out like that for no reason. So don't even think of using that as an excuse."
Donnie!" Raph snaps. "Who are you to say what she can or can't do with her past?" He sneers. "You don't know how she feels. April could have said something or done something subtle. Like show off that stupid hair."
"What?" April explodes. "My hair? Are you freaking kidding me? She attacked me because she's too petty to deal with the fact she doesn't have hair."
"I said enough!" Leo practically screams. "Sheesh. Having a fit isn't going to solve anything."
"Yeah," Mikey pipes. "Use your words." He points back and forth at the girls.
"I'll show her words." April grinds out. "She started it, but I'm gonna-"
Liz shakes terribly. She can't take it. Not anymore. "SHUT UP." She shrieks. Everyone jerks their heads around to her. "Fix her. Just fix her, fix her, FIX HER." With each word she points even more fiercely at April. Then she shoves her face in her hands.
They all blink. Then Donnie twists and gets a good at April. "Oh God." He nearly falls over. He grimaces. "Your face…it's bleeding all over."
"You don't say?" April scowls at Donnie. "I was just attacked. By that maniac." She points vehemently. She growls deep in her throat.
"Well that's why she froze." Leo surmises. "But…"
Mikey steps forward. His brows furrow and a deep frown curves his lips. "But," His eyes shine with sadness. "Why'd you hurt her Liz?"
Liz shakes her head, slowly at first. "I…" Panic contorts her face. "No!" she jerks from Raph's hold. "I won't! I won't help you hurt him. He doesn't deserve it. I don't care what you say." She moves further away from them. "She asked for it. She-She-"
Raph turns slowly. "Liz," He makes a face. "You're not making sense." He shakes his head.
"Come on," Leo follows suit. He moves closer to her. "Just explain it to us. We won't be mad. We just want to know why."
April snorts. "Speak for yourself."
Mikey reaches back and smacks her lightly in the head.
"Hey!" She glares at him.
Mikey shrugs. "Be nice." Although he admits this doesn't look good.
Donnie stares hard at Liz. He tries to read her expression, to look through the windows of her eyes and see what lies beneath. But she's too far away and too flustered. He can't see much of anything, nothing but fear. And a bubbling of anger swells within him. No one attacks April, especially not people he trusts, not for no reason.
Liz continues to shake her head. "I…I can't." She whispers. "Just…" Her face twists in anger. "Leave me alone!" She turns hard on her heel and makes a beeline for the kitchen.
"Liz!" Leo calls after her. He reaches uselessly.
Donnie lets out a breath. "Just leave her." He feels his stomach twist in regret as he scowls in her direction, but he can't stop himself from being mad. "Seeing the blood messed her up I guess." He hopes he sounds nicer than he thinks. "So just…let her calm down. She'll be ok in an hour or so."
Mikey droops. "I guess…" He stares after her. Then why does he have this terrible feeling in the pit of his stomach. It's wrong…so terribly wrong.
Leo sighs. He turns away from where she ran. "Alright," He moves toward Donnie. "Let's fix April up." The blood running down her face causes nausea stir in his stomach. Was he always this sensitive? Or did it have something to do with the incident? With whoever attacked him?
"I've got this Leo." Donnie says in a tone much too stiff. He pulls April along. "Come on April. The medical equipment is in my lab." It's also nice and far from the kitchen, from where he might make horrible decisions in his anger.
"Yeah, sure." Leo sighs.
Mikey looks back and forth between his two brothers. "Do you really think we should leave her?" He says meekly. "I mean…that wasn't normal. Snapping like that…it's not a good sign." He pulls at his arm.
Leo and Raph exchange glances. They chew on their lip thoughtfully. "It'll be fine." Leo is the only one to answer though.
Raph frowns. I don't know. But, "Yeah," He manages a tiny pained smile. "That was nothing compared to everything else." He half laughs, but it sounds incredibly fake.
Mikey grimaces as he looks past them, toward the kitchen. "If you say so…"
Raph kicks at the ground. "I'm going to bed." It's not late at all, but he's had enough of this day. He treks off without the slightest acknowledgement. He needs to be alone anyway. Silence is golden.
Leo hesitates but then chooses to follow Raph. He doesn't have the energy to go any longer. He wants to see how April is because it looked like death itself, but he doesn't want to deal with Donnie. He gets annoyingly possessive when it comes to April's safety. Not that concern is bad, but his kind of concern can be. So Leo heads to his own room, happy to escape the regular before bed checkup for the first time since he awoke.
Mikey sways. He is torn between the sweet relief of dreams and remaining alert just in case his feeling comes to pass. In the end he settles on an in between. He seats himself on the couch and flips the channel back to SpongeBob. This way he can relax but listen too. No one is getting into any more trouble on his watch. This he swears.
Only he fails.
Liz doesn't move for hours. She struggles to control her flurry of emotions – of sweet relief of knowing Slash is alive even if not quite well, of absolute rage at that horrid girl calling her dear Slash a monster, of strangling terror at the boys going after and killing Slash, and worst of all the gut wrenching guilt at hurting each of them by attacking that girl. In the end, after all those hours, she settles on pure ecstasy and stone cold determination.
She narrows her eyes and smirks. She flexes the muscles in her fingers. Yes. This is it. She'll go and she'll find Slash and everything will be alright again. She'll stomp out those terrifying visions of blood and drowning and eternal misery. Most of all, she'll have him again, the only place she could ever really call home.
So she pushes herself to her feet and slinks from the kitchen. She looks every which way to be extra sure and she runs. She runs past a sleeping Mikey, past the turnstiles, and out into the tunnels. She leaves them all behind, praying they'll at least forgive her for all the pain she has caused, even if they could never understand.
Well, what did you think? I know I should have cut this off earlier, but the last scene was important. The whole chapter was meant to show that Liz can have a bit of a backbone and be angry even though she is quiet and meek most of the time and the last scene was the peak. I hope it worked and was still in character. I know I had fun, especially with the last scene. *evil laugh* Sorry, still don't like April. And now neither does Liz. lol One of her triggers is definitely people calling Slash a monster, probably calling anyone she cares about a monster really.
Well, I hope you liked it. Please review!