Chapter 10: Hurt
Here's the chapter you've been waiting for. Sorry you had to wait!
Enjoy!
"No Bella, you have to listen! You can't do this! You are going to have an arranged marriage in a few months!"
Then I heard a gasp behind me, and I turned around to see who it was.
Then I gasped too.
"Edward?"
I was just in time to see the emotions on his face. First, it was pure shock, and then it was both sadness and anger. Then he regained grip on himself and his face became the calm mask I recognized immediately. It was the same mask I put on when I didn't want people to know how I felt.
I noticed that Joshua left to give us some privacy.
"Edward, I can explain ev-.."
"What? You can explain that you're going to be married soon? Why does that need an explanation?" He interrupted me, his voice calm. But I knew him good enough to know that inside him there were many emotions struggling to find their way out.
"Of course not, but-..."
"Then why are you trying?" He interrupted me again, but now his voice became cold.
Apparently anger won.
"Because there is a reason for all this!" I said, getting frustrated.
"Sure… Well then, tell me the reason!"
I hissed, getting angry too. "Then you need to let me speak, for God's sake! I can't tell you if you keep interrupting me!"
"Well, then. I'm waiting."
I opened my mouth, but then I realized what he was asking of me.
I realized that I couldn't give him the reason. Then I had to tell him everything, my identity, the reason why I was here… How I fel in love with him and why that was the biggest mistake of my life.
He waited, and he saw that I hesitated. He sighed, and his voice became sad.
"Never mind. I don't need to know anymore."
He turned around, and walked away.
I didn't notice I was still standing there untill I saw that the other students around me were going back to the campus.
I turned around the opposite way of where Edward went, and when I found a bench I curled up and let the blackness surround me.
After that I avoided Edward. And since my friends hang out with him, I avoided them too.
Even Joshua and Anna let me be. I was grateful for that.
I spent all my time at the library, pretending to study but most of the time. I just let the dark feelings wash me over, like waves on the shore.
When I went home that weekend, my mother was very worried about me. She thought I didn't enjoy University. She even threatened to keep me home, but I managed to convince her by telling her that I never learned so much in such short time before.
When I was back on the campus, Alice and Rosalie tried to contact me. I said I didn't feel well and that I wanted to be alone.
After that, even they stopped contacting me.
I was all alone, and depressed. A few weeks passed by, and I didn't notice it.
Until that day.
"Bella! Stop being depressed all the time! It's really getting on my nerves." Alice pleaded.
"Then get some medicine!" I snapped at her.
"Stop, Bella. Please. You're hurting my feelings."
"I don't care, leave me alone."
And Alice left.
After that I felt guilty, but I was already depressed so I barely noticed the other feelings.
But only an hour after that, I heard the front door. Probably Alice returned to convince me again.
I groaned, and pulled my pillow over my head. Was it so hard to understand that I wanted to be alone, and just feel miserable?
But then someone pulled the pillow out of my hands, and gave me a heart attack by hitting me with it.
"Bella, come out of bed. Now." I heard a velvet voice command me.
I froze, and tried not to show any emotion.
"Bella, please. I forgive you, can we please be friends again?"
He started do plead with me. I felt my heart stutter in my chest, but every cell in my body ached to say yes.
So I compromised by getting up, and not looking at him.
I was about to ask him to leave my room so I could change, but I noticed Alice was standing right behind him. I shot an evil glare at her. She was so going to pay for this…
Then I saw the first sign of Alice and Edward being brother and sister.
She hugged him tightly, and whispered: "Thank you!" while he smiled and just nodded.
So, Edward and I became friends. Slowly, though, because it was still painful for me to be around him, and not being able to touch him. It was then when I realised that I wasn't just in love with him, but that I really started to love him.
And that was only worse, of course.
I didn't know what he felt for me. But I didn't care. As long as I could be close to him, I was fine. That was what I kept telling myself.
In the time I was depressed, Alice and Jasper became much closer, and right after I rejoined them, they became a couple. Before that, Rosalie and Emmett were already together.
It was hard for me to see the two couples, while I sat there with Edward, being single while we could be a great couple together.
I put on a smile, but I knew that Anna and Joshua could both see through that. But, lucky me, they didn't say a thing about it.I was still depressed, but I didn't let other people know that. It was difficult, especially in the evening, and when we were going out or something it was almost impossible.
I kept mailing Mandy, because my parents didn't ask me to come home every weekend anymore. My personal assistant kept me up with the news from home.
Mandy told me that my mother was about to give up, because she couldn't find the right guy for me. My dad was much easier: he didn't care if he was great for me or not.
I should accept it anyway.
Unfortunately, I found out that Anna and Joshua weren't the only ones who knew me better than I liked.
One Sunday, when I was depressed and I wanted to stay home while the others wanted to go bowling, Alice decided it was time.
"Bella, stop being depressed. It doesn't help you. Stop being miserable. You knew all along that you would have to marry someone else. Every royal goes through that, and you know that. I warned you before, but you didn't want to listen so it's your own fault. But right now you're punishing me, punishing Edward by acting like this."
Shock washed through me.
"Am I that obvious?"
Alice smiled, and shook her head. "No, but we know you, and you're not really good at lying. So we figured it all out."
I sighed. But then something hit me.
My thoughts worked at full speed, realizing what I was missing for months.
I felt the puzzle fit together. It all fit together.
I gasped. "No!"
So…. What do you think? The next update might take another while… I'm really busy with school and stuff, but I'll try to update as soon as possible.