A/N: Whoo-hoo! You guys are killing it with the reviews! Also, I was looking through the list of traffic to this story, and I noticed that I had a reader from Croatia, and a reader from Gibraltar! My mind has been blown. What country are you reading from? Tell me in your review! I think it's pretty awesome that anyone who I don't personally know is reading this, much the less people from other countries!
Disclaimer: At this point, I think you get the idea. I'm not Stephenie Meyer. Nope. Never have been, and never will be. Unless I change my name. Which would be creepy.
BPOV
"Jake," I said, as we were running through the forest. "How did Charlie… You know… take it?" My voice cracked on the last word, the stinging sensation forming behind my eyes, once again. "Is Charlie okay, Jake? I mean, he has to think I'm dead."
"Oh." Jake mumbled, slowing down to a quick walk. His sudden stop surprised me, and I didn't notice he wasn't beside me, till I was a hundred feet in front of him. I turned around, and dashed back to his side. Jake sighed, running his hands through his hair. "Not good. He's been in… He's been in pretty bad shape. The day you disappeared, he was frantic; he was running around everywhere; organizing search parties, calling up other police departments… He asked Sam to go look through the woods, since he was the one who had found you last time. Of course, we were already searching for you, but it made Charlie feel better, knowing."
"What about when they couldn't find me? What does Charlie think happened to me?" I whispered, raggedly.
What have I done? I thought, disgusted with myself. You used to want this. You begged Edward to turn you! What the hell is wrong with you?!
"Well, Charlie is still looking. He doesn't know what to look FOR though. I mean, there were no signs of an abduction, and you wouldn't just run away. Plus, Charlie doesn't really have any enemies, except for kids who he's caught drinking, and they wouldn't kidnap you. There are no footprints, no fingerprints, and no DNA left behind in your room. The pack could smell that there was a vampire, but we couldn't exactly tell that to Charlie, could we?" Jake snorted, but furrowed his brow in concern. "I'm really worried about him Bells. He's been terrified for the last week; he's hardly slept, or eaten. He's in a panic to find you; it's all he can think about. Hell, Dad had to force him to come and get something to eat with him. This can't be good for Charlie. Besides, he just lost Harry. Now he's losing you on top of it? I don't know if he's going to survive this…" Jake trailed off, regretfully. It was obvious that he didn't want to tell me this bleak news.
"Oh my God." I gasped, sinking down onto the ground, and burying my face in my hands. "What am I going to do?! I can't let him think I'm dead! Not if it's going to kill him!" I was horrified at what I had done!
Why, why, why did you ever have to fall in love with a vampire?! You stupid idiot! It's only brought you heartache, and misery.
Now, you know that's a lie. That blasted voice whispered, popping out of nowhere. Remember the meadow? I hardly think that was miserable….
God, shut UP! I screamed in my head at the voice, desperately trying to fight off the onslaught of memories, of me and Edward on that wonderful day, in the meadow. I wish I had never met Edward. Everything would be ok if I hadn't met him. I just wish he had never come here.
No you don't. That's a lie. Stop lying to yourself, Bella… The voice faded away, like someone turning down the volume on the radio.
"Bella? Are you listening to me?" Jake interrupted my thoughts, gently shaking my arm. "I said, what are you planning on doing? You can't let Charlie know what happened to you, obviously, but maybe you can let him know you're alive…" He trailed off, staring off into the distance. "He can't see you, otherwise he would know that something really weird had happened, and it would freak him out more than he already is."
"I know." I blubbered, my hand instinctively reaching up to wipe away my nonexistent tears. "Maybe I could write him a letter, or something; tell him I've run off, and am going to college somewhere. That way he'd at least know I was alive"
Goodness, calm down Bella! Being hysterical isn't going to help you come up with a solution.
"You know," I sobbed, a frenzied thought popping into my head. "For someone who can't cry, I sure as hell cry a lot!"
"Yeah," Jake chuckled, putting his hand on my back. "I guess you do. Well, you never did anything the normal way, anyhow… But you know, that could work!" Jake changed the subject, trying to cheer me up. "The thing about telling Charlie you're alive, but not letting him see you. Of course, you'd have to come up with a pretty good excuse. Just running away, isn't something you'd do. You're too sensible for that. Plus, without a high school diploma, how are you going to get into college? That would make even less sense. You'd have to come up with a logical reason for you to leave."
"Yeah… I see what you mean. I definitely would never have run away from home, and I haven't graduated yet. I can come up with something though, I'm sure…" I trailed off, attempting to comfort myself.
You'll be able to figure something out. You have to. Charlie will never have to know what exactly happened to you; he won't have to be put in danger. I reassured myself. My hopelessly bleak mood began to pick up, with this light of hope dancing before my eyes. You'll be able to tell Charlie that you're alive, and no one will have to get hurt. Everything will be ok… My thought trailed off, as the image of Jacob popped to the forefront of my mind. I still didn't know what I was going to do about that sticky issue. I loved Jake; loved him with all of what was left of my damaged heart. That's what made this decision so damn hard! It would break both our hearts if I left; I know I, at the very least, would be desolate for the rest of eternity. But on the other hand, if I DID leave him, he wouldn't have to sacrifice anything to be with someone. If I left, he'd be able to find another girl; one who deserved him. One who wasn't damaged goods. Someone who hadn't already given her heart away, and would be able to give Jake everything he deserved. Jake would be hurt by my departure in the short run, but in the long run, he would be better off. I would be the only one suffering in that equation. I could handle my own pain, but the moment that my actions hurt someone else, it became unbearable.
No! No, no, no! I do NOT want to leave Jake! My heart screamed in protest. The grief I knew I would put my heart through, terrified me. Just anticipating it caused me to shudder, and reminded me of those first, horrible months, after Edward left. But my head was saying something else…
If you loved Jake, you would leave. Are you going to be so selfish a person, as to steal your love's life away from him? You're going to let Jacob waste his life with you, just so your dainty little heart won't have to hurt? You delicate little pansy! Man up, for God's sake.
"Bella… Did you hear one word that I said?" Jake asked tentatively, interrupting my reverie. This was the second time in less than thirty seconds that he had to pull me out of my thought. He must really think I'm crazy now.
"Oh!" I jumped, recollecting what Jacob had said. "Let me think about it Jake, I'm sure I can come up with something." On the last word, I noticed that Jake wasn't looking at my face. His eyes seemed to have glazed over; focusing on a point about eight inches below my chin. I looked down, and saw that my tattered shirt had fallen open, leaving a horrifying amount of cleavage on display. If I had been human, I would have been beet-red by this point. I yanked the shirt closed, snapping at Jake.
"Eyes up here mister! Now, I'm going. I'm getting really tired of this stupid, ratty shirt." I leaped to my feet, irately tapping my foot, and glaring down at the guilty party.
"Aww!" Jake moaned, putting on his best puppy-dog eyes. "But I like that shirt! It's very stylish. I hear that grunge is the new black!"
"You are so funny." I quipped, sarcastically. "If you're going to be crude, I'm leaving." I droned, before dashing off.
"Ugh, wait for me." Jake groaned, as he lugged himself off the ground.
After less than two minutes of running, I reached my house. I stopped below my old, now dark, window, and looked up hesitantly at it.
If you do this, there's no going back. If you run now, you can try to forget about your old life, and begin with a clean slate. I thought, tensely. It would be so much easier to leave now, and never come back, but wanted to see my old life! I wanted to be able to remember what color my bedspread was, and where I used to keep my hairbrush! When I had been transformed into a vampire, I had lost all of those minute details. I still knew who I was, but I wanted to remember the little things I used to do. I wanted to remember, but was it worth the pain? If I left now, I wouldn't ever have to remember my old life; I could try to ignore my past, and move on. If I saw my old room, I would never be able to forget it. I would have to carry the memories of my old life- the life that I had been ripped away from- for the rest of eternity. I wouldn't be able to disregard my human world, because I would have tangible proof of its existence!
You don't want to move on! Just go! Jump! Make the leap! It may hurt to know, but it will hurt more to NOT know. Just jump, for goodness sake! The thought steadied me, and, at almost the same moment that Jacob burst out of the forest behind me, I leaped to the window ledge. I grasped the edge of the sill, and gingerly opened the window.
"Bella, wait! I think Charlie's here!" Jacob whispered, attempting to halt my little espionage mission. But his frantic attempts were too late; I had already landed in my room. The moment my feet touched the floor, my senses were besieged by the most overwhelmingly delicious scent I had ever experienced. My throat ripped into flames, and venom pooled in my mouth.
Where is that coming from!? My frantic mind shouted, desperate to find the source of the tantalizing scent.
Suddenly, I felt something move behind me. I growled, whipping around to leap at the flicker of movement.
"Bella!?" The man choked, as I wrapped my ice cold fingers around his throat.
End notes: Ooooooooooooooooooooh... What's going to happen now?!
On another note, being the theatre geek that I am, I went and saw Young Frankenstine last night. Upon arrival at the theatre, I realized that Roger Bart was playing Fredrick Frankenstine!!!!!! *insert geeky squeal* If you've ever seen the remake of The Producers, you've seen him. He played Carmen Ghia, an extremely gay man, who works for Roger. He was the original Carmen Ghia on Broadway, in The Producers, and the original Fredrick Frankenstine in Young Frankenstine, also on Broadway. ANYWAY, after the show, I waited out by the stage door, and got his autograph!!! *Insert a super, insanely loud geeky squeal here*
And now I'm done bragging.
Review, review, review! It only takes thirty seconds, and it means the world to me!