Gwen XI

Avocado

Last time: Just then the last segment of the screen fizzed into life.

"Oh sh-…Satsuma." Stated the Doctor.

"Avocado to you." Replied the person on the screen. Jack froze. The Doctor gaped. Ianto sighed.

"Dad, when I said I'd call you I meant on my mobile."

"But I was bored. I've already been round the pyramids five times, inside and out. I've even translated the hieroglyphs. All of them." He stated stroppily.

"Your dad… is the Master!" yelled Jack.

"Oh yey. It's Freak. Just who I wanted to see." stated the Master drily.

"Dad!" exclaimed Ianto sharply.

"What?" he asked.

"Leave Jack alone." Replied Ianto frostily.

"Master." The Doctor interrupted. "Why did you take the pyramids?"

" 'Cause I went all the way to Egypt to see the pyramids. Then I couldn't see them because of the huge queue and I wasn't allowed inside. So I decided to take them. I won't give them back until I get a guided tour!" responded the Master.

"I'm sure the President of Egypt won't mind. But you'll have to return the Pyramids." Reasoned Ianto.

"We won't reason with thieves like you English." Stated the Egyptian president.

"Oooo. Big mistake." Muttered the Master. Ianto scowled.

"I think you'll find I am Welsh. Do you want your pyramids back or not?" Jack smirked at this.

"Of course. But we do not bargain with thieves." The Egyptian screen went blank.

"They weren't exactly huge demands." Reasoned Jack.

"You are weak if you give up to thieves." Stated the UNIT representative. Both their screen and the American screen went blank.

"Just a thief, god knows one is more than enough." Stated Jack.

"Wait. You've forgiven him?" questioned The Doctor.

"For the pyramids, yes. For the year, no. I just don't want to lose Ianto over this." Replied Jack.

"Wait again. You're dating HIM! Ianto, I thought you had better taste than THAT!" yelled the Master.

"I have perfectly fine taste." Argued Ianto.

"Inter-galactic playboy." Added Tosh. Owen cracked up.

"No… Don't say that in front of him…his ego is big enough already." Stuttered Owen between fits of laughter.

"What's the joke?" whined the Master. Ianto sighed.

"For anyone not in on the joke, Tosh said earlier that I've 'bagged myself an inter-galactic playboy.' If you get it." Answered Ianto. Jack grinned.

"Don't you dare Harkness!" yelled Owen.

"Didn't realise you could read minds Harper." Sniped Jack.

"Well anyone can read you like a book." Stated Owen.

"Spoilsport."