I don't own these characters. They are the sole property of Stephanie Meyers. I only borrow them. No humans are permanently harmed through my actions, though I do confess to harassing, annoying, torturing, and exasperating them – just because it's fun. I make no money from my little stories, sad day. I only play in the sandbox, I didn't build it.

In this outtake, we get a little conversation between Esme and Edward's younger brother, Masen.

#11 I've Got a Ticket to Ride

"Hello?" Esme smiled at the sound of her younger son's voice.

"Mase? It's mom," she said.

Masen laughed. "Yeah, Mom, I know. It says so right here on my phone."

"Why are you being annoying?" Esme asked.

"Just because I can," Masen replied.

Esme sighed. "Well, if you're going to be a pain, then I'm not going to tell you what I called to tell you."

"Come again?"

"I called to tell you some absolutely delicious gossip about your brother," Esme said quietly. "But if you're more interested in playing games I'll just go do the dishes and then go to bed." Her voice was deliberately casual.

"No way," Masen said. "You've got to spill the beans now or I'll…"

"You'll what?" Esme asked, amused.

"I'll pout," Masen threatened. "And you know I'm good at it."

"Yes, but the puppy dog eyes don't work long distance," Esme pointed out.

"I've got my ways," Masen insisted.

"So do you want to know or not?" Esme asked.

"Is it good?"

"It's…amazing," Esme replied breathily.

"Shit! Edward's met a girl. Hasn't he? I know he has. I can tell by your voice. She's gorgeous, isn't she? For some reason the chicks dig that pretty boy face. I don't see the attraction really, but there's no accounting for taste. Is she a leggy blond? What's she do for a living? I'll bet she's a…hmmm, pharmaceutical rep?'

"Masen?"

"Yes?"

"Shut up and I'll tell you," Esme said.

"Okay." There was a long pause. "Uh, Mom, that was me shutting up."

"Just making sure, dear."

"Mom…"

"Yes, Edward met a lovely young woman," Esme confirmed.

"Leggy blond?"

"Uh, no from what I hear, petite brunette, and she's a teacher," Esme replied. "Though I confess I have no information about her uh…legginess."

"From what you hear? You haven't met her yet?"

"I just heard about her tonight, dear," Esme said. "Edward called to tell me that he invited her to our house for the Fourth." Esme paused dramatically. "He invited her and her boys."

There was a long silence on the other end of the phone. "No shit, Edward's dating a woman with kids. Talk about doing the unexpected. I didn't think Eddie did the family thing." Another pause. "Wait, you did say boys right, as in plural?"

"As in four," Esme said with a laugh.

"Oh shit, Eddie's going big again, isn't he?" Masen said in a low voice. "That fucker, always trying to one up me."

"Language, dear," Esme admonished. "And what do you mean he's trying to 'one up' you?"

Masen sighed as if it should be obvious. "Well, I've got two kids, and now he's dating a woman with four." There was a pause. "I wonder if Alyssa would consider popping out a couple more?"

"No," Esme answered for her daughter-in-law. "Nor should she for those reasons."

"Aw, mom."

"Don't make me call Alyssa directly and tell her what you said."

"You play dirty," Masen complained.

"Remember that."

"So, tell me more," Masen said. "I want to hear all about this wonder woman who has captured Eddie boy's interest."

"You know he doesn't like to be called Eddie."

"Exactly."

"Masen Carlisle Cullen."

"Mom, I'm touched…really. You remembered my full name; that means so much to me." Masen sniffed as if he was crying.

"Do you want to hear about Bella or not?"

"Bella, huh?" Masen made a humming sound. "I like it, very exotic sounding. Brunette, you said? It seems like our Eddie is branching out."

"You might say that."

"So what's the deal with the kids' father?" Masen asked. "He around at all? Just a jerk? Has Edward met him? Did he beat his ass yet? Is he bigger than Eddie? Does Edward need help beating this guy's ass? I'll fly in, special like."

"Masen…"

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Shut up."

"Thank you."

"So?"

"So what?"

"Mom you can't expect me to stay shut up if you don't tell me what I want to know."

"She's a widow, Masen. So no inappropriate jokes."

"Sorry, Mom," Masen said in a suitably chastened voice.

"It's all right dear, I know you're an idiot. But you're my son and I still love you."

"Really, Mom, I'm choking up here with all the sentiment you keep throwing at me."

"I'd love to throw something at you, dear, but you're too far away."

"Ouch, Mom, that one hurt. It really did."

"Masen?"

"Shutting."

"She was married to a soldier and he died in the war almost two years ago, Masen," Esme explained. "In fact, he was killed on the 4th of July, so Edward wants to get them out of town and let them have some peace and quiet for the anniversary."

"That's really nice of him," Masen said.

"Yes, Masen it is."

"Just remember, he can't share a room with her. You didn't let Alyssa and I share a room the first time we stayed at your house. Just because he's your favorite, no preferential treatment."

"I don't have a favorite," Esme insisted.

"Then how come I always had to wear his hand-me-downs?" Masen paused. "And how come you guys always gave me an earlier curfew than him?"

"That's because you're an idiot, remember?"

"Oh yeah, I keep forgetting that."

"Don't worry, Alyssa and I will remind you."

"You're good people, Mom. I don't care what anyone else says."

"Besides," Esme continued as if he hadn't spoken. Sometimes it was necessary to do that with Masen. "She'll have the boys with her and I don't imagine they'd be very happy with a man sharing their mother's bed, especially given that it's the anniversary of their father's death."

"How old are her boys?" Masen asked. "Any chance we can team them up with Kyle and Alex to make Edward's life hell? Because I would really be into that. I'd even provide financial backing."

"They're 14, 12, 10, and 7," Esme answered.

Masen gave a low whistle. "Eddie boy is going to have his hands full."

There was a long pause and then Esme laughed. "Yes, I know he will."

"He's going to lose his mind," Masen observed.

"I'm quite sure he will," Esme agreed.

"He won't know what hit him."

"Not until it's too late," Esme said.

Masen snorted. "Shit, I wish I could see it all firsthand."

"I'll keep you informed," Esme assured him. "And perhaps you and Alyssa and the boys should come for a visit sometime?"

"You're evil, that's what you are," Masen said.

"I do what I can, dear."

"Maybe a surprise visit?" Masen asked.

"Oh that's always the best kind," Esme mused.

"It won't be right away, but probably before school starts."

"Your father and I will drive down so that we can see the boys and Alyssa."

"And me."

"Must we?" Esme asked.

"You must, it's in your contracts."

"Oh well, I guess we can endure," Esme sighed.

"So we should stay with Eddie, right?"

"Well how can you visit with your brother if you don't?" Esme asked with a wicked chuckle.

"He's going to shit himself."

"Masen…language."

"Sorry, Mom, but it's just too good to believe." He laughed. "My big brother, falling for a beautiful widow with four boys. He's just bought himself a ticket to a ride he won't believe."

Esme laughed. "Yes… Isn't it wonderful?"