Happy (late) birthday to Cyber Drakonian! Sorry I couldn't yesterday, but the cloud cover made it impossible for me to do anything on the wireless.
"Explain to me again why you don't believe in angels," said Lina.
After the mess with the shape shifter, who really didn't like Lina because she had smelled something wrong and sent Xellos after it...thank the Lady they escaped before the cops showed up, even if Lina had to put the fear of Herself into the poor idiots who had gotten caught in the mess.
Honestly, who calls Shifters "man droids"?
Sam was looking at Dean expectantly.
"Look, I can believe demons exist, the Lady only knows how much crap they've put us through. But angels? Not a chance."
"Yet there has to be something to counter the demons, otherwise they would have run roughshod over the humans by now," said Lina, countering his dismissal.
From what she understood of these...angels...they functioned much like the Dragon race did, only they were more arrogant and had to take human vessels. They were also much, much harder to kill, though the Lady still outranked them.
In terms of power she rivaled the one they called "Father".
Dean and Lina continued their stare off, until finally she sighed.
"Okay, I'll admit there aren't any angels around here. Just a misguided ghost priest."
Dean looked triumphant.
"However angels are real... real dicks that is. Xellos has had a few run-ins with the idiots who won't take 'get lost' as an answer. Thankfully they've yet to cop on to his disappearing trick, but they're still pretty annoying. And from what I've heard from him most of the ones he's run into are sanctimonious assholes who automatically assume they're in the right just because they're 'holy' and 'light'. They also look down on us like monkeys."
Sam looked disappointed at that. So he decided to change the topic.
"Any idea how long until the timelines equalize for us to visit your world?"
Before Lina could say anything, Xellos appeared and gave an exact time frame.
"One year, nine months, three weeks and four days. And that's not including the time down to the second, which I'm not bothering to keep track of," said Xellos.
Lina blinked.
"So...set my calender then?"
"She seems to think that a certain event must occur before she allows you to leave. Specifically you must prevent two things from happening, though if you prevent the first then the second will have almost no chance from happening."
"What's the second?"
"Dean spilling blood in hell," stated Xellos simply.
"Say what now?"
"There is a cage in hell, and Dean fits the requirements as a key player into breaking the first of many locks, which would open it. Doing that would bring something rather headache inducing to Earth. So keep him out of hell and away from demon deals, and you'll have succeeded in what the Lady sent you here for," said Xellos.
"Great. So all we have to do is convince the priest to give the old one the last rites, and it should take care of the problem here, right?"
"Essentially."
"Good. Then you get to tell Sam more about angels, and I'll look them up and hopefully find something that can help us deal with this crap."
Lina's search into angels eventually lead her to, strangely enough, old societies where hunters used to go in order to get information.
"Hey Bobby, you ever heard of something called the 'Men of Letters'?" she asked, looking up from Sam's computer.
"They went extinct one night a couple decades back, but they used to supply good intel to hunters while they were active. Why?"
"Because this symbol looks hella familiar, and I can't remember why."
Sam, who was mostly passing by on the way to get something to eat out of the fridge, paused when he saw the symbol Lina was talking about.
He backed up and went behind his wife.
"What?"
"Dad's journal."
"Huh?" said Lina.
Sam went into his room and brought back his dad's journal, which was still the mess it always was. He flipped through the pages to the back and found an almost illegible note from someone named Henry...which was right below the symbol on the site page.
"Okay, now I'm weirded out. Who's Henry?"
"Our grandfather. Specifically the one who up and left dad years ago and never came back," said Dean.
Now that peaked Lina's interest. If she knew secret societies, and she did since her world was rife with the damn things, that meant Dean and Sam could be what were known as "legacies". And if Bobby was right, that meant that there was a treasure trove of goodies just waiting to be found.
And if there was one thing that got Lina's blood pumping, it was the thought of a treasure hunt, even if all the treasure was happened to be old books full of magic...not all treasure had to be gold and jewels.
With that old familiar spark back in her eyes, Lina spent every waking moment trying to locate where the Men of Letters had hidden their library.
There was no way they were stupid enough to house it in the same place as their headquarters. Not with how vicious demons were.
Thankfully she could drive on her own.
It took three false tries and a lot of hard work digging up the last grave which didn't fit in before she found a set of dog tags. Jackpot.
"You want us to go where?" said Dean incredulous.
"Lebanon, Kansas. I might have a solid lead on the last remnant of the Men of Letters."
"Explain to me again why the hell we should care about them and waste the gas?"
Dean was in a foul mood after the last hunt, and wanted to go out and kill something.
Lina threw a dagger right in the middle of his legs, causing Dean to yelp at how close it had gotten to a certain part of his anatomy that he would very much like to keep intact.
She was having a rough week herself, since it was that time of the month for her.
Sam, the peacemaker of the three, sighed.
"How about we go on a hunt and if it's on the way we'll stop by?"
"What kind of hunt?"
"Well a college professor who wrote a successful book just took a nosedive out the window for no apparent reason," said Sam.
"Sold," said Dean. Hearing Lina growl, he winced. "We can hit this place on the way back? Why are you so interested anyway?"
"I haven't had a good adventure since I got to this planet, and I'll be damned if I let a possibly lucrative treasure hunt pass me by all because I was afraid of a little work."
"I highly doubt there's going to be any gold or treasure chests," said Dean.
"Treasure isn't always gold and jewels you idiot. I used to go raiding old tombs and temples just for the chance at a rare book full of old spells. And according to Bobby, these Men of Letters used to be collectors of the really rare and valuable books meant to help kill things. No way am I passing up a chance at their infamous library," said Lina.
"A library?" perked up Sam.
"And possibly some more effective weapons, considering I highly doubt they were dumb enough not to pick something good up."
Dean perked up at that idea.
"Plus it might give us a way to kill that damn yellow eyes for good without having to try and use that stupid gun...or maybe even tell me how to forge a new one," said Lina.
"Sold. We'll make that pit stop after this hunt," said Dean.
One week, and Dean felt like he was in his own personal hell.
Not only were they getting nowhere in this damn hunt, but some asshole had messed with his Baby! He would shoot people for less!
To add to his current migraine, Lina had somehow managed to crash Sam's computer while on the Busty Asian Beauties website, despite her claims she hadn't been trolling around the 'more interesting' parts of the internet after what happened last time.
(The last time being that Lina very nearly ended up with a fifty-five year old pervert who found the fact she was very open about her bedroom activities attractive, and he had managed to hunt her down until she put the fear of the Lady into him. Dean had laughed himself sick when he found out and Lina nearly set him on fire for it. Needless to say they were forbidden to speak of that headache every again lest Lina went on a rampage.)
Though she didn't deny she had a subscription to the 'Plus' package, just that she had been on it when she was more interested in finding more about the Men of Letters.
At least Sam wasn't blaming him for crashing it.
Suddenly they heard a racket outside, and looking out the window provided an unusual scene.
Lina was chasing the janitor who had witnessed the first death around with a flaming sword and not bothering to hide it.
"...Didn't her parents ever teach her not to run around with sharp objects?" said Dean finally.
"Think they'll chalk all this up to a movie thing?"
Thank the Lady for Hollywood and amateur film makers. Because so few believed in magic it made it easier to cover up the use by claiming they were doing a movie.
"Probably. Wonder what he did to piss her off so much?"
Sam dug out some binoculars and looked.
"Let's see...righteous indignation, absolutely pissed off expression on her face, eyes lit up like fiery coals...and a slap mark on the janitor's face... He must have grabbed her ass or otherwise tried to make a pass at her," concluded Sam.
Dean paused.
"You can tell that from all those signs?"
"The slap, mostly. Lina hates it when people try to make a pass at her when she has her wedding ring on. Unless it's me doing it," said Sam.
Lina always wore her wedding ring. Always. Mostly because it kept the other guys away from her, but also because it was something she made herself and doubles as a protective amulet. Sam wore his for the same reason.
"Do not rope me into another discussion of your sex life," said Dean with a grimace.
"But Dean, I thought you enjoyed hearing all the dirty details," smirked Sam.
"Not when your wife spells my room and then records my performance with a one-night stand and starts to give me pointers!" Dean shot back.
Lina had, in a mood to spice up her usual pranks on Dean, used a spell to record sound and visual using a crystal ball she had jokingly bought and a video camera. Sam had no idea she had done it seeing as how she cast another spell to silence the room she had it in, but the fact Lina had been critiquing his brother's "performance" in bed and actually mentioned things Dean did the night before had been mortifying...more for Dean than Sam. Sam quickly got over it as Lina started commenting on how to 'improve' that aspect in a very loud voice while Dean's face took a rather red hue from embarrassment.
He was just glad Bobby hadn't heard what she said.
When Lina came back, she looked annoyed.
"What happened?" asked Sam.
"Stupid janitor thought to slap me on the ass while I was at the bar gathering intel. I'm pretty sure the asshole is the Trickster we've been hunting for the past week and a half," said Lina.
"How can you tell?"
"The little shit made some throw away comment about how I must be very good at lying my ass off if a 'witch' could fool a pair of hunters long enough to join them."
Sam and Dean winced. If there was one thing that set Lina off faster than someone hitting on her, it was being compared to a witch. No wonder she had chased him with a sword she had set on fire.
"So the janitor is the one we're after?" said Dean.
"Yup. Pretty sure he might be behind the flat tires on the car. Want me to hold him down while you set the bastard on fire?" asked Lina hopefully.
"Hell yes! The sooner we kill that son of a bitch, the sooner we can get out of here!"
"And head towards that house in Kansas," Sam reminded him.
"That too."
The Trickster (who turned out to be called Loki) had been caught completely off guard by Dean's fireball to his ass.
"How'd you guess it was me?" he had to ask. Neither Sam or Dean had gone anywhere near his locker long enough to find the candy wrappers or the articles.
"You pissed off my wife long enough to get her attention. Never call Lina a witch...it only ends in pain," said Sam wisely.
"Wait...you two muttonheads were actually desperate enough to make a deal with hell for magic? What sort of hunters are you?"
"That does it! If I hear one more reference towards us making deals for our power I am setting those feathers of yours on fire, you overgrown chicken!" said Lina irate.
She worked her ass off to get as good as she was with her magic. The mere thought of people assuming she made a deal for her power pissed her off immensely.
Lina started chanting under her breath, and she held her hands at an angle like she was about to hold a two-handed blade.
Loki's eyes shot open wide in disbelief (and realization) when Lina's Ragna Blade came forth in her hands.
"No way... How in the hell did a sorceress from one of HER worlds come here?!"
"So you recognize this. Good. Then I don't have to tell you that you had better start explaining (and fast) before I use this to cut you in half for pissing me off so thoroughly. And for getting Sam to blame me for crashing his computer again."
"Wait, that was you?" said Dean.
"Well yeah, how could I resist pranking the infamous Winchesters?"
Lina dropped the spell and stared at him.
"You call those pranks? Letting the air out of tires and crashing the computer? What are you, three?" she said incredulous.
"Those were pretty weak... I mean even she can do something better than that off the top of her head while half drunk," said Dean.
"Are you actually critiquing my pranks?" said Loki incredulous.
"Well considering Lina and Dean have been in a prank war since we've gotten married, we have every right to criticize your pranks. They were childish, boring, and only served to irritate others. Not really Trickster material to be honest," said Sam.
He would have expected this out of a kid. Not a Trickster.
"I'm all ears to how you think you can do better?"
"Well for starters last week I laced Dean's room with a clairvoyance spell and recorded him and some floozy going at it...and then gave him a scorecard on how he did the next morning while he was hung over," said Lina.
Loki choked in disbelief.
"Then last month you put a fake snake in his bed and made it look alive with a little fishing line and some recorded snake sounds," said Sam, remembering how loudly Dean had screamed when he thought there was a snake in his bed.
"And let's not forget my favorite pranks... Kool aid and bullion cubes in the showerhead," said Lina.
"I stand corrected. You're definitely more fun than these two," said Loki, impressed in spite of himself.
He might have to drop in on the little sorceress for a quick laugh or two...and to scare the Winchesters.