Chapter 10: Mission Initiated
So while Watts went to gather information and his balls and Zone was preparing a hot water bottle for his colossal cramps us four SeeDs and Rinoa clambered on top of the train and waited to align with the Galbadian train. I squinted as the train got closer. If we only had five minutes to complete this mission.
"There's still time to take out the engineer and take control of the train!" I offered before taking a running leap on the Galbadian train. Selphie and Rinoa followed suit. We went over to the second carriage and Squall began to climb down the side, ready to punch in the key codes. I only just realised that no one had listened to me. This was so needlessly complicated.
"Zell, Selphie, keep watch on the guards while Squall and I decouple the cars!" Rinoa ordered. I furrowed my brow at her as she noticed me.
"Well what the fuck am I? Chopped liver?" I asked. "If you only needed three of us I could have taken care of your needlessly useless comrades."
"Will you shut up?" Rinoa snapped. Oh I upset her friends, big whoop. "Look just keep watch on the guards! And warn us when our train's closing in!"
"I didn't train in swords and guns just to train watch!" I yelled back.
"Dante will you shut up and follow orders?" Squall shouted at me. I stuck my finger up at him which served to piss him off.
"Fine, as the Princess commands," I clearly was talking about Squall and he caught on. I crawled over the train. The train shifted a lot as the cars separated and moved apart, giving our train the space it needed to join up.
"We'll move to decouple the cars again," Rinoa shouted over the winds. "Here are the codes, you decouple the cars from here!" I took the codes and leapt down to the side of the train, breaking open the code thing. You know, why does a train have this? Does a train really need to have codes that will temporarily decouple the cars?
I punched in the codes and got the last one in before the door by me swung open and a Galbadian soldier stared at me. I stared back before pulling out my revolver and firing it through his skull, leaping onto the door, swinging round it and getting inside, slamming it shut. Before the second soldier realised what was going on he had a bullet through him.
Wasting no time I went back outside and climbed up the train roof, getting on the resistance's train as we left the Galbadian train and taking the President with us.
"This is amazing!" Rinoa squealed in joy. "Finally we can get Timber its independence back!"
"We've waited for so long to get that bastard," Zone scowled. I flicked my hair back in a motion that was more girly than I had anticipated before folding my arms. Before I could get a word in edgeways Watts got there first.
"That was perfect, sir! Amazing, sir! You're the best, sir!"
"Say 'Sir' one more time and, so help me, I will remove what is left of your balls and toss them off this train," I snapped. Honestly how fucking annoying was this guy? Sir, sir, sir! Yeah shut the fuck up! There's a fine line between being polite and just looking like a complete twat! Everyone stared at me and I shrugged. "Well we've got to seem imposing and threatening in front of the President otherwise we won't be taken seriously... well that and he's asking for it."
"So, are we ready for the serious negotiations?" Rinoa asked. Serious negotiations? Negotiations alone would have worked fine. Sweetheart, if you're trying to be tough it's not working.
"Gathering information is my speciality!" Watts cried before running off. Zone got period cramps again and ran away also. I frowned, wanting to make a remark so badly. Ah what's stopped me before?
"I wonder if he'll gather enough information to find out where their balls went off to?" I mused. They've just said that they've been waiting forever for this moment and they run off pissing their pants? What... ugh my faith in this resistance is diminishing gradually.
"Figures you'd be obsessed with balls," Zell scoffed out. Oh low blow there Dincht.
"Well I least I've got mine, Screamer McChicken-wuss," I replied smoothly, looking unaffected and serving to anger him more. What he doesn't understand is that I will always win in this war. Always.
Rinoa was the first to approach the President, who seemed unnaturally calm despite his current predicament. That was when it clicked with me that something wasn't right. A bunch of guards who barely noticed trains coupling and uncoupling, a President completely unguarded in his own car and was now uncaring of the fact he was kidnapped. He was still reading the paper.
"President Deling!" She said loudly and firmly. "As long as you... don't resist you won't get hurt," The man seemed very calm, not even acknowledging her presence. The girl clicked the pinwheel on her wrist, ready to fire it at him if he tried to attack. "You've got some guts, well as you can see you are outnumbered so you will do what we tell and if you don't-"
"If I don't," The President interrupted, not looking at her. "What will you do? Young. Lady."
"What's wrong?" Squall asked.
"What's wrong?" I repeated, raising my eyebrow at him. "We've drawn a blank; this isn't the President."
"Of course," The man stood up and slowly approached Rinoa, talking slowly and robotically. "I am what you call a body double. With all these resistance groups in Timber, would you really think the President would not pass around a little false information? You amateurs took the bait." Rinoa gasped at the word, backing away in fright.
"Amateurs?" She exclaimed. The body double started to jitter and convulse in a rather disturbing manner.
"And what would you have done is I had resisted? YOUNG LADY?" He shouted. Squall cut the body double in half, only to learn it was the shell of... what? A zombie? You've got to be fucking kidding me.
I pulled a Cure spell from Zell and threw it onto the zombie thing, firing a few rounds before running and cutting it, gagging as its bowels fell onto the floor of the car. It was slow and could barely move so it gave us an advantage and we spread out, taking it out with ease. Okay a zombie body double? What ever happened to good, old fashioned, living body doubles? Too last year? Probably.
"Are you okay?" Squall asked Rinoa, who nodded but was shaking.
"Well, mission failed, I guess," I shrugged, cleaning the disgusting gunk off my sword. "Do we get paid now?"
"No! Everyone back in the meeting room now!" Rinoa snapped. I sneered at her visibly. Seifer she may be an angel round you but she is one angry lady.