I might update more frequently now.
The story is really starting to get somewhere so I guess I'm anxious to post it.
Let me know what you think?
Enjoy!
It wasn't entirely a plea for remorse, what Tibia had said to Camber days ago. She felt like she was loosing her mind and that was clear by how little she slept the second and third night she stayed in his home. Even when she got back to working at the Tavern her smiles were forced and she held little interest in conversing with the staff or even Bellaca or Luca. The first day Bellaca simply let it go but this was the second she'd said nothing more than enough to be polite. Tibia collected her tips for the day and walked out the door with only a small goodbye to Bellaca and Luca. She didn't wait.
She'd run for hours, worked on her car, called friends but nothing helped quiet the itching beneath her skin that the situation was causing. It was as if her body demanded her to simply leave but she knew she'd never make it. She struggled when she had savings AND a vehicle. They already thought she was starving herself. She didn't want to imagine her situation if she didn't have either.
"Tibia, wait." Bellaca called to her, chasing after her as she walked out. She didn't much care for the sudden change in her new friends attitude. "Is something bothering you?"
Tibia spared her only a glance, not slowing her pace any as she clutched the strap of her bag so it wouldn't slip, "It has nothing to do with you, Bellaca."
Bellaca appeared by her side almost instantly. "Something has happened. Otherwise you would have no reason to be so ill-tempered with me."
"I'm not ill tempered with you. If your brother didn't share it with you then it's really not something for you to worry on." Tibia said softly.
"Camber?" she assumed, only knowing what information Kael had passed onto her. She knew Camber had been busy and Tibia in his house would only add to his stress. "I heard you were staying with him. I know he's not around much, but I'm not sure why that would bother you."
"Yes, then he did not tell you why I did not want to stay with him." Tibia shook her head, "I don't want to talk about this."
"So you'll continue you roam around miserable?" Bellaca frowned.
"I'm going crazy." Tibia snapped at her, "I am loosing my damn mind and.." She sighed heavily; "I don't know what you want from me. I can't help you understand. It's clear that explaining it gets me nowhere anyway."
"I'm sorry Tibia." Bellaca sighed, walking beside her. "I wish I could understand how this seems unreasonable to you. I want to understand."
"Not unreasonable. I never said it's unreasonable. I said it would drive me crazy. I told him, I told him why. I haven't told anyone since I was sixteen." Tibia stared ahead, rubbing her arm.
"Camber tries to protect those around him." She said softly. "It's in his nature. It has been that way since before he was alpha. Is it who he is."
"This is the wrong way for me and wrong for others when I'm involved." Tibia shook her head, "I need control in my life."
Bellaca nodded. "I think he feels that...control is pointless to have when there are other more serious threats in your life. What does control mean when you're weak, hungry, malnourished. Even lonely."
"It's better than having every fucking luxury and being under someone else's will. You don't know what that's like so I know you wont understand" Tibia sighed.
"I know what danger and pain are, Tibia. I can't share your experience but I know what they are. I know what loosing a mother, father, and brother are. I'm sorry you're unhappy but things are different here. Camber didn't react badly to your presence here, he only wanted you to have someplace so call home during that time." Bellaca sighed softly.
"So your brother told you? About my father?" Tibia raised an eyebrow disbelievingly.
"He didn't mention your father to me." She shook her head.
"Should ask him. He probably thinks I'm lying." Tibia muttered, "If he doesn't...he's cold. It doesn't matter how different things are, it doesn't change what I've been through, it doesn't make this easier to deal with."
"Maybe he thought that you would tell me if it was my business. Camber is many things but I wouldn't call him cold." she said softly, keeping the pain of her own experiences out of her voice. "Maybe you should try talking to him again."
"I don't share my past...and I told him." she said quietly, "I don't know how better to explain this. My father implanted in me a need for control and to you this is miniscule but to be given a choice. To be told I can either move into a house I don't feel comfortable in or leave; when leaving right now would very likely kill me unless I could make it to unclaimed wilderness, it puts me in a state I'm struggling to suppress."
Bellaca sighed softly. "Would letting you go back to sleeping in your car really fix that?"
"Yes." Tibia said simply. "This situation is my life. It's been my life since I was fourteen and it will not change when I leave here. Even staying in his house might be fine if it were not a demand."
"It wasn't at first." Bellaca shook her head. "It's not gonna get better this way. His mind won't change without reason."
"And any other reason I give him will not be a good one." Tibia said simply, "Why are you not with Luca?"
Bellaca paused. "Because my shift ended the same time yours did and I wanted to talk to you. Luca is eating with Jade, Edan and a few of the other wolves that came in a while ago. Didn't you notice?"
"No." She shook her head, "I'm slipping."
"That's not good for you. You know it's not." Bellaca said softly.
"I can only repeat so many times how I'm losing my mind." Tibia sighed, "I'm trying Bellaca, that's all I can do."
"Maybe trying something else would help you." Bellaca said softly. "I know you will probably never feel safe here, but for a moment, let your guard down a little."
Tibia shook her head, walking over to her car and opening her door to shove her bag inside. "You may have experienced hard timed sweetheart, but I cant see your life being much like mine. You want me to let my guard down? Fine. My mother and I had to run because we killed my father. He turned into a psychotic, sadistic and controlling son of a bitch. It started with him just wanting me at his side or in the house. For me to not being able to leave a room without his say so. Not being able to eat without his say so."
Tibia growled softly, continuing. "And one day I snapped, I proved my dominance when I tore him apart and when my mother saw I left him alive she took off his head because we both knew he was too far gone to recognize defeat. My mother endured years of it though, even before he was insane he was not a good man but she'd never leave her pups. So we ran, and we never stopped. I can't breath when someone tells me where I'll go or what I'll do and I don't even have the choice to say no. And that's just a piece of my past Bell. A piece. This will never get better if your brother does not back off. All I can do is draw into myself because I will not act out and put us all in a terrible position."
"Tibia." Bellaca said softly. "I am sorry. You know I am. But to be perfectly honest with you, no other alpha would care. No other alpha would care a fraction of what my brother cares. I'm sure you know that. I'm sure you don't understand that he is actually a strong alpha. Because he is not a monster you don't see the strength he has. If you think taking away the control in your life is anywhere on his mind, then you truly are taking for granted how hard he could be making things for you."
Bellaca paused and seemed to be working on her own frustration. "You are not pack, so he must watch you carefully to protect his wolves that means so much to him. Your feelings can't be his first priority and still he tries."
"I can smell his power. You can't smell mine. I've worked that hard to conceal it. No other alpha would care is right. I wouldn't be in this position with any other alpha. I didn't ask you to follow me Bellaca. I didn't volunteer my story until it was impossible to say anything else. I am not saying your brother is using even an ounce of his strength to confine me in the small way he can manage. I am trying to communicate that you should not expect me to be lively when I am trying not to be a threat. By confining me in this small way it is drawing about a defensive side of me. Just because a situation can be worse does not make this one any less horrible." Tibia dug her claws into the seat of the car.
"You're focusing only on the horrible, Tibia." Bellaca sighed heavily.
"I wish you could see in my head and see how impossible it is to do otherwise." Tibia closed her eyes for a moment before relaxing her grip and walking around the car to open the hood.
Bellaca shook her head slightly. "You can't act like that forever. You were suffocated before and now your are doing it to yourself."
"Please just...you can't understand. I wish you could...but you cant." Tibia reached under the car to pull out her tools and the parts she'd collected earlier so she could pick back up where she'd left off.
"Is the terror you went through something you would wish upon me to understand? I don't think you're that kind of person at all. Listen to yourself Tibia." Bellaca said. "Is it us that frighten you so?"
"It's not conscious. I can try all the logic I want and I still can't sooth it." Tibia said as she started to work.
"Then you should try talking to Camber again before it eats at you." She said, looking less then pleased.
"I don't know what else to say." Tibia muttered.
"So you give up and mope? Say you need the control to function but won't say another word on it?" Bellaca asked. "You know Camber is a tolerable alpha and you're not even going to try to talk to him again?"
"I tried twice, how many times would you like me to try? Until his stubbornness overcasts his good reasons and I want to hurt him? Would you like me to fight your brother? That is the scenario that has played out in my head and it is not something I want but my self control in this type of situation does not have a good track record. I'm just trying to keep the peace until I can leave."
"Camber is far from a crazed alpha. You let me know and I'll be there, if nothing else to prevent a fight from occurring. Something can be done." Bellaca said, arms crossing under her chest.
Tibia gave her an exhausted look, "I really don't know what you expect, but if you honestly think he'll change his mind."
"I simply refuse to believe that nothing can be fixed to your liking." Bellaca said with a shrug. "There is a middle ground somewhere between you."
Tibia stared into her car for a minute before murmuring "I'm sorry I'm so...difficult."
"I expect it's not your fault." Bellaca muttered.
"You're too nice" Tibia offered her the first smile she'd managed in the last few days.
"That's my Bella" Luca commented from where he stood a few yards away. He's approached them slowly, not wanting to interrupt the heated discussion.
"You know, I don't like you trying to sneak up on me." Bellaca pouted, looking back at him.
"Pity, I find it amusing," He chuckled, walking closer until he could kiss her jaw gingerly and press his nose to her ear.
She sighed softly, leaning against him fully as if she were tired. "I know you do."
"You two getting along again then?" Luca looked back at Tibia.
"Only because she a persistent sweetheart. It's hard not to." Tibia nodded.
"Yes, I have my moment." Bellaca chuckled softly.
"Many of them" Luca purred.
"If you say so." she smiled faintly, nipping at his neck with her pointed canines from where her head laid on his shoulder.
"Jeez," Tibia smiled lightly, "You guys don't need to stay here. Go have fun in your house with the blinds drawn."
"Problem with public affection?" Luca grinned, head tilted.
"Only sometimes." Tibia continued working on her car, "Like when I'm not involved or don't want to be involved. I think this qualifies as both."
Bellaca laughed. "I think that's good to know. That's a sure way to bring out my wolf, I think." She said, grabbing Luca by the front of his shirt. "I'm a poor sharer. Let me know when you wish to try again, Tibia."
"Probably tomorrow. I'd like things to be peaceful again." Tibia said softly, "Even if the hype is just in my brain."
Luca grinned slightly at Bellaca, wrapping his arm securely around her. "How would you know how you are with sharing? You've never had to."
Bellaca smiled sweetly and Tibia and nodded before turning back to Luca with a growl. "And I don't plan on it."
"Good, neither do I." He leaned down to steal a kiss before murmuring against her lips, "Lets go home."
She leaned up slowly, nipping at his lip roughly before smiling a little. "Good bye Tibia."
"See you sweetheart." Tibia shook her head, keeping her attention on her car. She ignore the small smile that wanted to tug at her lips at their affection.
Bellaca's smiled grew as she unnecessarily led Luca away by his shirt. He didn't hesitate to follow or fight his current position. In fact he enjoyed it. He traced his claws down the underside of her forearm and watched her muscles twitch.
"If you start that now we won't make it home." she warned with a slight grin.
"Not such a bad thing either." He purred.
She suppressed the shiver that wanted to crawl down her spine. "We're still to close to Tibia." she smiled, leading him back down the path.
"Mm, I'm still not hearing much that would make me want to stop," he leaned in to kiss her shoulder.
Arching towards him she had the urge to snap at him playfully but that wouldn't help them here. "C'mon, I have a bit of built of frustration I need to take out on you."
Luca growled in a lustful way, "I think I'm looking forward to it. I think you've been neglecting me."
She growled back, showing her canines and quickening her pace. "You're too tempting Luca."
"Not enough I see, maybe I should try harder." Luca slid his arms around her waist, nibbling on her jaw as they walked.
Bellaca hissed in delight, her hand going up the back of his shirt. "You will make us cause a scene, won't you."
"As if anyone is bold enough to watch." He tugged at her earlobe, using his teeth to toy with it gently.
"I could think of a few who would if they were to stumbled upon us." she chuckled, tilting her head back for him and digging her claws into his back.
"I don't care." He growled out, latching onto her throat as it was offered.
Her growl turned into a moan as she moved to face him, her hands still under his shirt. It wasn't often she gave him her throat but just being comfortable enough to do so meant something.
His teeth and his tongue teased the vulnerable flesh in a way that made her ache. She knew he'd never be anything but gentle with her.
She let out a breathy sigh and arched against him. "Are we stopping or walking?"
"Cant multitask?" he mumbled against her skin.
Purring loud she dragged her nails against his back. "Depends."
He groaned slightly at the feeling, picking her up suddenly, "I can fix that."
She looked down at him with a soft growl and pressed her forehead to his. "Which problem would you be fixing?"
"Your new found inability to walk." he grinned, tilting his head back to press his lips to hers. It was enough to make her growl again but she welcomed the kiss, her arms sliding in place around his neck.
He tried to stifle his grin, pausing for a moment to enjoy the kiss as he squeezed her close to his chest.
Bellaca tightened her legs around his hips, seeing no reason to make things easy for him. With a louder growl she nipped his lip, wanting nothing more then to be as close to him as she could get.
He ran his tongue across her lower lip, squeezing her sides lightly. "See? Home is too far. We won't make it there."
She purred. "Then I should make you take us home just to prolong the fun."
"Evil woman," he pulled her more tightly against him.
"You can handle it." she purred louder, pulling at his bottom lip with her fangs.
"Fine." He growled softly, lowering her to the ground.
She laughed, taking off abruptly. "Keep up then, pup!"
He grinned and followed after her, knowing he could only keep her pace because she was holding back, but a chase was part of the game.
Thank for reading! Please review!
Silverbolts- yeah, it does a bit but she can handle it.
BubblingB- thanks for reading ^_^