Bella slept until ten o'clock the morning after the bonfire. She and Jake had gotten to Charlie's house just before midnight. Much earlier than they had expected to.

"Bells, what's wrong?" Jake had whispered to her while Sam and Leah were telling a story about a deep-sea fishing trip they'd gone on.

"Nothing," she replied, but she couldn't look at him.

She kept her eyes on the dancing light of the bonfire. Like his eyes…yellow.

No. The shade of Edward's eyes was so much more complex than a single primary color. Butterscotch, amber, gold…none of them were quite right.

But it was a color she'd never seen before. It wasn't natural. No…it wasn't human.

"Are you not feeling well?" Jake pressed, rubbing her back lightly. He was so warm.

And Edward is not.

"Not really." Bella realized that she was breathing shallow and fast. If she didn't get a grip soon, she was liable to go into a full-blown panic attack. She put her head down between her knees and curled in on herself.

"Bella?" Quil's startled voice floated into her consciousness. "What's wrong with her?" someone else asked.

"Maybe she had some bad s'mores," Leah said, but her voice was concerned. Out of nowhere, she was kneeling right in front of Bella, stroking her head.

"Can you just take me to Charlie's, Jake?" Bella forced herself to take slow, even breaths.

"Sure. Hey, guys, I'll pick up that cooler some other time, okay?" Bella felt his strong hands on her elbows. "Come on, Bella, let's get you home."

She didn't really remember getting into the truck or the ride into Forks. She felt…disconnected. Apart. All she could focus on was the image of Edward's burning ocher eyes.

"We're here, Bella," Jake's soft, worried voice reached past her fog, and she realized that the truck was stopped in front of Charlie's house. She looked up and saw that all the lights were out except for the porch light. Good – Charlie was already in bed.

"I'm okay," she whispered when Jake opened the passenger door to help her out. The alarm in his eyes helped her to focus – she managed to find the hidden key and get them inside, then find sheets and blankets to make up the couch for Jake, without breaking down.

"You just yell if you need anything," she said quietly as he took off his shoes and socks.

"You too, Bells," he replied, pausing and gazing at her, worry still furrowing his brow. She nodded and escaped upstairs to her old room.

She kicked off her shoes and pulled off her jeans, then burrowed into her comfortable old bed in her shirt and panties.

It took her a long time to fall asleep.

•••

"You should call her."

Edward looked up from the book he was reading. Rosalie was sitting on the floor in his room, painting her toenails. He found it amusing that she had chosen blood red polish.

"I don't know her number, Rosalie."

She snorted. "And have no way of tracking it down? Please, Edward. You can do better than that."

"She clearly doesn't want to talk to me."

"You don't know that. Maybe she's waiting for you to make the first move."

Edward laid his book down on his desk. "Rose…"

"Well, you said yourself that you can't read her mind. Maybe now you get to go through all the normal relationship stuff that the rest of us have to deal with. All the uncertainty and the anticipation…and the fun." Rose carefully replaced the brush in her bottle of polish.

He smiled wryly. "You think this is fun?"

"It is from where I'm sitting." She pursed her lips and blew gently on the nails of one foot. "It's nice to see that the impervious Edward Cullen has an Achilles' heel."

"I'm so glad that I entertain you."

"You really do." She stretched out her leg and leaned back on her arms, watching him. "We've all had to deal with this shit, Edward. Embrace the pain. Call the girl."

"And tell her what? 'Hey, baby, I'm sorry I ran out on you in a public place. How does pizza sound?'"

Rosalie shrugged. "If you feel like choking down human food, that'll do. Or you could go for a movie."

"You fail to address the problem of my spastic and insulting behavior."

Rose waved her hand. "Oh, that's easy. You just tell her that you were overwhelmed by your attraction to her and panicked. Actually, that's not a lie. Just leave out the whole bloodlust thing."

"And how does this solve the problem of me wanting to kill her all the time?"

Rose sighed. "Edward, please. You're just stalling. You are clearly head over heels for this chick. You can rationalize all you like, but eventually you're going to cave in. Admit it, you can't get her out of your mind."

Edward smiled bitterly and picked up his book again. "So now you're reading minds?"

Rose was quiet for a while. Then, she picked up her bottle and began working on her other foot. "You remember when Emmett was changed?"

"Like I could forget."

"I was a mess, right?" She carefully stroked the brush over her big toenail. "I was terrified that when he came out of the change, he would hate me. That he would despise all of us for what we were and what we'd done to him.

"But you were there for me, and you reassured me. You told me that he could hear my voice, and that even though he was in the middle of that pain, he liked me. And in those first months, when he was so nuts and we were so awkward with each other, you were there to tell me that he was already in love with me."

"Actually, I believe I told you that he was dying to screw your brains out."

She threw him a scowl. "You are so romantic."

"Is this going somewhere, Rose?"

"My point is that when it comes to this kind of stuff, you can't trust your own judgment. It takes someone who's got a little distance from the situation to give you some perspective."

"Two things," Edward interrupted, holding up a finger. "First, I can read minds and you can't. And second, you've never met Bella. Pardon me if I don't really trust your judgment."

"Edward, please. I am a woman. I have observed human behavior for just as long as you have. Longer, considering the amount of time that you spend sulking in this hole." She indicated the dusty books and cobwebby rafters around her. "Bella's behavior, as described to me by yourself and Alice, clearly indicates that this girl is into you. Would you stop being so stubborn? Put on your big girl panties and call her."

Edward would have continued his policy of practiced indifference, except that every member of his family had given him their own version of The Talk in the past four days. Esme had informed him that any girl would be crazy not to want him, despite the fact that he was a bloodsucking fiend. Emmett was of the opinion that it was high time Edward got laid.

And then there were Alice and Jasper.

To his surprise, he found himself truly liking them. He was still a little pissed about the nice tour they had given him of the Skykomish Public Library, but, as Alice pointed out, it had been well meant. Bella was alive.

"She's completely spoiled you," Alice informed him one morning as she helped him straighten the books in the stacks downstairs. "She's had the guts to come here and try to break through your little personal fortress. You need to reciprocate."

Edward scowled at her. "I went to the library," he objected.

"Yeah, because you thought Jazz and I were going to kill her. And you bailed on her at the first sign of adversity." She picked up a book on kama sutra and tossed it aside. "I need to look at that. Anyway, you need to man up, Edward. Do the woo. She shouldn't have to chase your skinny ass all over town."

"She's hardly chasing."

"Well, you haven't exactly given her any encouragement. I think she's shy," Alice said. "She's a very sweet girl. I can't wait to get to know her. She and I are going to be such good friends."

"I suppose you know this from one of your visions, huh?"

"Not just one. In most of the possible futures, Bella and I are close. For some reason she doesn't really like me shopping for her, but other than that, we get along great."

Edward grinned, catching Alice's mental image of dragging a reluctant Bella through a huge department store, throwing outfits into her arms. The long-suffering look on Bella's face sent a bolt of longing through him.

He missed her.

It had only been four days since the aquarium, but each day seemed longer than the last. Every hour he made up his mind to go find her, and every hour he chickened out.

It was driving Jasper crazy.

"Funny thing about my abilities, Edward," the tall, brooding man said to him one day as they trekked through the forest, looking for something more interesting than deer to drink. "I can project emotions onto you, but your emotions are reflected back to me as well. Every time your mood shifts, so does mine. And I'm getting a little tired of the constant mood swings. I feel like there's a fucking soap opera going on in my head."

"Sorry." Edward rolled his eyes. "I'll try to be more considerate of your delicate sensibilities."

"And while there's a time and a place for everything, I'm a little sick of being so horny all the time. Have you considered taking a little private time to deal with some of your, ah, needs, man?"

Edward groaned. "For God's sake, can we not talk about this? I think I liked you better when you had Elvis Presley songs on a continuous loop in your head to keep me out."

Jasper laughed. "So that worked, huh? Rose said it would."

He lasted five days. Five long, frustrating days before he went to Bella's apartment.

•••

"Come on, Bella. We're going out."

Bella kept her eyes on her computer. "I don't want to."

"I don't care. We're going out, we're going to get smashed, and you are going to tell me what the hell is up with you."

"Leave me alone, Jacob."

"Oho. The full-name treatment." Jake rolled his eyes. "If you don't come out with me tonight, I'm going to call your mom."

"Jake!"

"I mean it, Bella. Go home, put on something hot, and I'll pick you up at seven. Otherwise, I've got Renee on speed dial."

Her annoying, adorable best friend leaned across her desk, kissed her cheek, and with a wink was out the door and headed out of the library.

"He is so cute," Josie moaned. "Why don't you want to go out with him?"

"It's not like that," Bella said, scowling down at her keyboard. "He's a friend. He's making a pest of himself at the moment, but he's just a friend."

"Well, I for one am on his side. You've been ten shades of depressing for the past week. It's Friday night, Bella. Go out and have some fun." Josie turned around, checking to see if Jake was still within range. "I'm sure your friend would love to show you a good time."

Bella rolled her eyes, but didn't respond. The fact that Josie was not the only one to suggest allowing Jake to lure her out of her bad mood did nothing to alleviate her irritation. She had spoken to her mother several times during the week, and while Renee was three thousand miles away, she was still frighteningly attuned to her daughter's emotional distress.

And if Jake actually did call her, Bella figured that odds were excellent that Renee would hop on the next plane to SeaTac.

"Honey, I wish you'd tell me what's wrong," her mother's worried voice had repeated half a dozen times in the past week. "Is it a guy?"

Bella closed her eyes. Yes, mom, the man that I've been snuggling with and fantasizing about for the past two months seems to be a supernatural murdering fiend, and I'm a little upset about it. What do you propose I do? "Yeah, mom. But I'm okay, I promise. I'll get over it eventually."

"What happened? Did you have a fight? Did he cheat on you or something?"

Bella wasn't really sure how to answer that one. "No…it just didn't work out."

"Why not, sweetie?"

"Uh…" Bella switched her phone to her other ear, choosing her words carefully. "We just…weren't compatible." Please, mom, don't push it…drop the subject…

"What, he wasn't interested in commitment?"

"Mom…"

"I just worry about you, baby," Renee sighed. "You're such a beautiful girl. You should get out more. Date a little." She paused. "What about Jacob? Have you thought about maybe going out with him? I think he likes you."

"Oh, jeez, mom," Bella moaned. "We've been over this. Jake is my friend. My best friend. I'm not romantically interested in him. At all."

"Why not? He's cute, and smart, and you two have fun together."

"Mom," Bella rubbed her forehead. "I have to go, okay? I'll call you later."

Over her mother's protests, Bella flipped her phone shut and changed it to vibrate mode. Renee had called two more times that day, but in a fit of cowardice, she'd let it go to voicemail both times. She didn't want to talk about dating. She didn't want to talk about men, period.

I don't know if I can control myself.

I wouldn't be good for you.

You're so delicious, Bella.

What was his game?

Was it some kind of vampire foreplay thing? Did he get a kick out of kissing her and making her want him, before sinking his teeth into her? Had he watched one too many episodes of Buffy back in the day and decided to play the sexy, brooding vampire card?

Bella, this is not a WB cult phenomenon, she scolded herself. Vampires – if indeed they do exist – are not sexy. They do not lust after human bodies. They lust for blood.

The bottom line is that you have to stay away from him. Period. The end.

The images on the screen before her blurred, and she just made it to the bathroom before the tears spilled over.

•••

"See, the thing I don't get," Jake was saying carefully and earnestly to the guy seated next to him, "Is why Honda discontinued the Prelude in the early nineties. Those were some awesome cars. So much better than the Celica –"

"God, Jake, give it a rest," Bella interrupted him loudly. "No one cares about your stupid Prelude obsession. Least of all the poor guy who gets to sit next to your drunk ass at this…" she waved her bottle to indicate their current surroundings, "…quality establishment."

"I resent your tone," the bartender said mildly.

"Sorry." Bella set down her beer with just a little more force than strictly necessary. "No offense intended. It's a fine place." She hiccupped softly. "I'm sure your mother is very proud."

The bartender looked at her impassively for a moment, then moved along down the bar.

"Bella," Jake whisper-shouted. "Never insult the bartender. He might spit in your beer."

Bella's eyes went wide. "Really?"

"Well, no, not yours," Jake amended after considering for a moment. "You're too cute a girl to spit in your beer. But he might spit in mine."

"Why? You didn't say it."

"But you're clearly here with me. For all he knows I'm taking you home tonight."

Bella snorted. "In your dreams, Black. You are going home to your cold, lonely bed all by yourself tonight."

"Well, so are you," he sniffed.

"Maybe, maybe not," Bella glared at him, offended. "Maybe I'll find some hot stud to sweep me off my feet. Maybe that guy," she pointed, making no effort to be circumspect, at a blond guy at the other end of the bar who had been watching her.

"I am not going to let you go home with some random loser who'll probably give you an STD or steal your wallet or lock you up in the basement –"

"Shut up!" Bella hissed, and dissolved into giggles.

"Speaking of," Jake said, "I think we've reached our limit. What do you say we get a cab and toddle on home?"

"This was your idea," Bella objected, taking a swig of her beer. "It's still early, and you want to call it quits?"

"It's almost last call," the bartender offered mildly.

Bella glanced at him, surprised. "Oh. Where did…the time go?"

"Time flies when you're drunk off your ass. Can you call us a cab, man?" Jake asked the bartender, pulling out his wallet and fishing for a tip.

Bella leaned on Jake's shoulder during the cab ride home. All the beers she'd drunk were making their presence in her bloodstream fully known. The world spun crazily around her, and she was pretty sure she would have been sick if Jake hadn't been there, solid and warm and constant next to her.

"So, are you going to tell me what's wrong?" he asked her softly, stroking her hair as they watched the streetlights go by.

"Oh," Bella sighed. "It's nothing, Jake. Just a stupid guy."

"A guy?" He shifted a little next to her, pulling her further into the nook of his shoulder. "You didn't tell me. What happened?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing, hell. Did he hurt you?"

"No, no. He's just…it's just not going to work, Jake."

He was quiet for a minute, then sighed and laid his chin on her head. "Well, you know I'm glad. But I'm sorry you're hurting."

"Jake…" Bella closed her eyes and started to pull away.

"Don't, Bells." Jake hugged her tighter. "Just let me hold you for a while, okay?"

She knew that she shouldn't. She should put a good three feet between them, should stop snuggling into the warmth of his shoulder and make him stop stroking her hair in that incredibly soothing way. But she couldn't seem to make her alcohol-saturated limbs follow her brain's urgings.

Somehow, they made it up the two flights of stairs of their building to her floor. Bella stood with her back to the wall while Jake messed with her keys and got her door open. "How long were you seeing him?" Jake asked with practiced casualness as he helped her sit down on the couch and sprawled next to her.

Bella laughed humorlessly. "I wasn't. That's the pathetic part, Jake. I barely know this guy. And…I let myself get all wrapped up in him." She pulled her cashmere blanket, the one she used to snuggle up on the couch, into her arms and hugged it to her chest. "I've never felt this way before. It sucks."

Jacob smiled sadly at her. "It'll pass, girl. In the meantime you can watch lots of bad reality TV and soap operas. And eat ice cream. I'll help."

Bella snickered. "I wonder if I have any Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough." She tottered to her feet and threw the blanket at Jake, then headed over to the tiny kitchen. He squawked in tipsy indignation and threw the blanket back at her, rubbing his nose as if he was about to sneeze.

Her hopes for caloric comfort were dashed, however, when she peered into the freezer. "Hm. Burritos…some frozen peas…popsicles. No ice cream. Curses."

"I'll get you some."

Bella turned, surprised. She hadn't heard him come into the kitchen after her. But there he was, much closer than she had realized. Blinking tipsily, she steadied herself on the counter behind her.

"Thanks," she mumbled, and out of nowhere she was crying in his arms.

He held her for a long time, making soothing noises as she sniffled pitifully into his chest. Jake was good for that. He was so comforting, and solid, and considerate.

Why can't you just love him? A quiet voice whispered in her head.

She wanted to. She knew that he loved her, much more than he intended for her to know. Everything about Jake was just…perfect.

But she couldn't.

Maybe you just never tried, the voice said. Have you ever let him kiss you? Has there ever been a time that you didn't push him away when he got too close?

No. She never had. Even now, she felt that it was time to gently push him back, to regain her equilibrium. But alcohol and grief slowed her survival instincts, and before she knew it, his lips were on hers.

It was a profoundly different kiss from the one she and Edward had shared in the aquarium. Where Edward was cold, Jacob was burning hot. Where Edward was hard and unyielding, Jacob was firm, pliant muscle. And where Edward resisted her at every turn, Jacob couldn't seem to get close enough. His long, warm arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her close, tucking her into the protective lee of his body. She felt surrounded by him, caught up in him, especially when he gently pressed a knee between hers and nestled himself against her hips.

She shivered at the feel of his erection, hot and insistent against her stomach. Jake's reaction was rather more dramatic. He groaned and opened his mouth, tenderly coaxing her lips apart and tilting her head back with the force of his passion. His hands fisted in her shirt.

Somehow, Bella discovered that her arms were wrapped tightly around his neck, and she was on the counter, her legs twined around his and her pelvis pressed to his. Her head spun pleasurably, the sensation of his hands roaming across her back and into her hair comforting and soothing.

"Bella baby," he whispered, his mouth leaving hers and trailing across her cheek to her ear. "I love you. I'm so in love with you."