Gabriel needs to have some serious talks with the rest of the team, but at least he's all back together now

Gabriel was working on some project when Loki arrived, and while he must have noticed the latter's presence he did not turn around or immediately acknowledge it.

"I assume you remember Baldur now," Loki said quietly, seeing no point in trying to disguise his motive.

Gabriel stiffened, hands falling away from the hologram in front of him. "Yes," he admitted after a moment, his back still to Loki.

"Your reaction was rather violent when Clinton mentioned him." Loki kept his voice neutral. "But you doubtlessly already knew that, as you were present during the conversation."

"Yeah, well…it's not something I enjoy thinking about." Or talking about, was the implied addendum, but Gabriel seemed remarkably calm about it now.

Loki closed the distance between them until he stood just off to the side, leaving the choice up to Gabriel whether he wanted to turn and face him. "Would you tell me?" The question was quiet.

Gabriel discarded the holograph he had been working on, letting his hands drop. He looked down at them. "The gods weren't really open-minded," he said eventually, subdued. "Now and then there'd be someone that popped up, scared the shit out of them because they weren't normal…well, it wasn't like I was normal either, so I kept an eye on them, made sure they got around okay." He glanced back at Loki, smiling wryly. "They got the idea they were my kids. Which, okay, was pretty amusing to me back then, but I could work with it."

Loki was startled by the idea that Gabriel had had other children – whether biologically or not – and then, abruptly, realized that whatever family he had had before, in Heaven or as Loki, was unreachable across universes. He was unsure what to think of that.

Gabriel turned his head away. "It was all right for a bit. Then…I don't know, some prophet said one of them would bring about the end times. Or part of them, at least. And Odin…" He chuckled darkly. "Well. Couldn't have that."

"It is said that Odin was your brother," Loki said carefully. However odd the idea was, the implications Gabriel's story had…

Gabriel breathed out slowly, head bent so he was staring at the table. Loki could see that his hands were curled into fists. "Yeah," he said softly. "He was."

Gingerly, Loki reached out to lay a hand on Gabriel's shoulder. "He did something to them." It was not a question.

Gabriel's head remained bent.

"I'm sorry."

"Not like you could have done anything about it." Gabriel exhaled, rolling his shoulders once and subtly shaking Loki's hand off. "Anyway…I wasn't happy. They were just…kids. Powerful ones, but who wasn't back then?" His mouth twisted, eyes fixed on something outside of the room they were standing in. "So I paid him back." The words were dark. "An eye for an eye."

Was Odin also missing an eye in Gabriel's universe? "Did you…?"

"I didn't actually take his eye, if that's what you're asking." Gabriel's snort of laughter was short. "No, I had something else in mind. He messed with my kids, so I thought I'd pay him back." He shifted, pressing his hip against the table next to him. "It worked, and – best of all – no one suspected me." His smile was dark. "Least not until it was too late. I was already gone by then."

"No one suspected you?" Loki found that somewhat difficult to believe.

Gabriel shrugged. "It's not like they could prove anything. Covering my tracks was easy, especially since I wasn't the one to actually do it."

"You weren't?" Loki could failed to keep the surprise out of his voice. "I would not have thought anyone else would be willing to do something like…that."

"He didn't know what he was doing," Gabriel said sharply, and then exhaled slowly.

"Really." Loki did not want to try and prod Gabriel into revealing more faster than he was willing, but he could not deny his curiosity.

"Hoðr…" Gabriel hesitated, turning away again. "He was Baldur's brother. Blind." He snorted. "I should probably explain…it was more drawn out than I'm making it sound. I gave him nightmares. Baldur. He panicked so badly that Frigg went around making sure that nothing in the world could hurt him. Baldur, the best and brightest of the gods, well, who wouldn't want to protect him."

Loki heard the sourness in Gabriel's voice, but didn't comment on it. "Frigg?" he questioned. "Not Frigga?"

Gabriel shrugged. "Different name, I guess. More than just the stories changed between universes."

That did make sense, even if it sounded a little odd to Loki's ears. "And this…Hoðr?"

"Well, after Frigg did that…obviously, Asgard partied. Big celebration, people throwing everything they could at Baldur. Nothing left so much as a scratch." Gabriel paused, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Except Frigg didn't get everything."

Loki thought he could tell where this was going, and it was not a pleasant direction. "Hoðr was blind, so he would not know that it was Baldur he would be harming," he guessed.

"No, he knew. He just didn't know the arrow would work." Gabriel didn't meet Loki's eyes. "And then by Asgard's laws…"

Loki's stomach dropped. "He was put to death," he finished. "Was he not?" So his counterpart had forced Odin to kill his own son, upholding the laws of his realm.

Gabriel nodded, finally meeting his eyes. "I don't regret it," he said quietly, "but I wish it hadn't been Baldur."

"You wanted Odin to understand what he had done."

"I did." Gabriel's smile was wry. "Even if he never knew for sure that it was me, he understood the pain. Besides, I think me up and leaving after that was probably a big sign. Probably also the reason they decided to chain a fictional version of me up to be tortured until Ragnarok."

That sounded terribly unpleasant. Loki said as much.

"It does, doesn't it?" Gabriel sounded amused. "I think it was a deterrent for anyone else who wanted to go against Odin. They couldn't find me anywhere, so they made something up." He smiled wryly. "Made them look better, too. I'm sure more than a few people suspected that I was involved, but they had to hold someone responsible. No one would have believed that Hoðr did it on his own."

"If two gods were dead, I don't doubt that Odin had to be seen doing something." Privately, Loki wondered exactly what Odin had done to Gabriel's children in that universe to warrant such a response.

"Baldur didn't actually stay dead." Gabriel leaned against the table, and Loki swore he looked vaguely disappointed. "They managed to get him back. Quite a feat, considering he'd ended up in the underworld one of my kids ran." He smiled faintly. "She doesn't like letting anyone go."

"You are not referring to Hel, are you?" Loki half-hoped that Gabriel was joking.

"She isn't the same," Gabriel said, eyes flickering down. "I know what Hel is like here, and it isn't the same. She wasn't what they thought she was."

"She rules the afterlife in that universe as well?"

"Yeah. Thing is, being a goddess of death…people either ignored her or weren't very pleasant." Gabriel looked as though he were looking at something invisible to Loki. "The rest of them weren't much better off."

"How many?" Loki asked quietly, after a moment of silence.

"Four," Gabriel answered, and then sighed. "I haven't seen any of them in ages. Not that I really could have, being stuck here. But when we went back…"

"You were rather occupied with other issues," Loki reminded him, guessing what Gabriel was thinking – that he had missed the chance to reunite. "It was unavoidable."

"Nah, it wasn't that. I wouldn't have even if there hadn't been so many problems to deal with." Gabriel tilted his head back, staring up at the ceiling. "Before I ended up here, I sorta got my cover blown. As Loki. Kali figured it out and decided to announce it to everyone there."

"Everyone where?" Loki realized he must have asked a bad question when Gabriel tensed and quickly changed tracks. "Other gods, you mean?"

"Yeah. I don't doubt everyone knows by now." Gabriel looked resigned. "And, like I said…gods don't like angels. If they thought Hel or any of them had so much as talked to me…" His mouth twisted. "It wouldn't be pleasant."

"You seemed quite averse to angels, as both Loki and the Trickster," Loki affirmed, seeing Gabriel shift at the mention of it. "We wondered about that."

"Why part of me hated angels, you mean?" Gabriel's reply was accompanied by a sardonic smile. "I had my reasons."

"Other than a lack of self-esteem?"

Gabriel snorted, but didn't deny it. "Loki…well, as him, I had to blend in. I know I denied being an angel when we talked…I had to keep that mindset. Make sure no one suspected. And I really did want to avoid Heaven and angels and the like, 'cause Michael would have dragged my ass back upstairs if he had the faintest idea of where I was." He tapped at the table absentmindedly, looking lost in thought and somewhat morose. "You can't immerse yourself in a role for that long without losing yourself in it a bit."

"You adopted the ideas you pretended to have."

"Yeah, something like that."

"And what of the Trickster?"

"The Trickster was around when all that crap about the apocalypse was going down." An edge of bitterness entered Gabriel's voice. "I wasn't exactly a fan of watching my family fight. And he was after Loki, anyway, so…"

Gabriel trailed off, looking down again and letting his head hang. Loki had never seen him in a state like this – this expressive, at least. Gabriel might have had his moments, but when it came to darker emotions, Loki could recall only a few fleeting times when he'd seen Gabriel like this, and they were not times that he particularly wanted to recall.

Taking a breath, Gabriel straightened his posture, face blanking as he looked at Loki again. "Was that everything?"

No, Loki still had other questions, but he rather suspected that Gabriel's team would also want the answers.

"For now," he replied.

Gabriel's smile was resigned. "I guess that's all I can ask for."

He knew the others were waiting for him, wanting to ask him questions and make sure he was okay. He knew that, but…

He wasn't ready. He was still working on adjusting to the memories he had now from four different perspectives. The ones from his human and angel parts weren't so bad, but it was the Trickster and Loki… Even during the time he had been pretending to be a pagan and a trickster, he hadn't ever forgotten where he'd come from.

It had colored some of his interactions with his fellow gods and how he interacted with humans, so to have thoughts and feelings that were so different from how he had been back then was jarring.

Sighing, Tony slumped back against the wall outside of the room he was about to go in. He took a moment to collect himself, making sure Pepper and Rhodey had really left the area to go talk to the team, and then he fortified himself with another breath before going in.

His kids saw him immediately, stopping whatever they were doing to look at him with no small amount of wariness. Jarvis was sitting on the couch with Sam by his side, and ne wasn't meeting Tony's eyes.

Tony swallowed down the small kernel of guilt that rose in him, managing a warm smile. "Hey, kiddos."

Dummy's eyes were dark. "Are you back together now?"

"It's been fixed," Tony answered, coming closer and sitting on the floor opposite them.

"No one told us anything," Butterfingers complained, frowning. Her hands tightened on the tablet in her lap. "But we heard you."

Tony's smile grew strained, and he nodded once. "I'm sorry. That won't happen again."

"You're okay now?" Sam asked, voice so quiet Tony almost missed it. Ne was looking at him now, eyes wide.

"Now I am," Tony said gently. It was only half a lie, but Sam didn't need to know. He had done enough to scare nem.

With remarkable speed, Sam pulled away from Jarvis and went to cling to Tony, moving into his lap. "I'm sorry for scaring you," ne mumbled, burying nir face into his neck.

Tony hugged nem. "It wasn't your fault. That was all me."

"I shouldn't have—"

"That was not your fault," Tony insisted, cutting nem off. "I should have been a bit more careful."

"Don't go jumping into strange machines?" Dummy suggested, inching closer.

Tony glanced at him, grinning. "I didn't jump into it, Dummy. I was just the guy in the way."

"It isn't going to happen again?"

"I destroyed it," Tony said. Ordinarily he would have winced at destroying a machine like that, but there had been nothing but vindictive satisfaction involved in destroying that thing. "And Doom isn't able to build another."

"Because he's a statue," You noted.

"Yes, because he's a statue." That was one thing Tony didn't regret doing, as Doom had been a thorn in their side for too long. But he didn't really look forward to Reed asking him if he knew anything about it.

"You're not keeping anything else from us?" Butterfingers asked suspiciously.

"We kept asking what was going on," Dummy said, close enough now that he could link his arm through Tony's, leaning into his side. "But no one told us anything. We're not that young."

"We're older than J," Butterfingers pointed out.

"Physically, perhaps," Jarvis said, an unidentifiable emotion in his eyes as he looked at Tony.

Tony stroked a hand down Sam's back. "They didn't want to worry you." He saw the protests forming before they even verbalized and quickly added, "I know that's not an excuse, and I'm sorry about that. But…" He looked down at Sam's dark hair. "It wasn't exactly pleasant."

"You didn't look happy," Sam said in a small voice. "And you…looked at me weirdly."

Slowly breathing in, Tony rubbed Sam's back. "You reminded me of someone I used to know. And I – Gabriel-me, I mean – didn't exactly remember you."

"But you did," Dummy protested.

"I remembered you from when I was human. Gabriel had a different set of memories." Tony could see Dummy thinking that over.

"I guess that makes sense," Sam said, repeating nir words from before, peeking up at Tony with a small grin. "I'm glad you're back." Ne reached up to kiss Tony's cheek, giggling as he rubbed his face against nir.

"You and me both," Tony said, letting nem pull away. "Because that was not something I want to repeat."

"Being split into four wasn't fun?" Dummy asked, blinking innocently.

Tony took a moment to study him before deciding that Dummy was spending far too much time around Steve. "Do you want to try it?" he offered. "It's totally possible…" He reached out to him.

"No!" Dummy immediately wiggled away, shrieking with laughter.

Shrugging, Tony sat back, putting his weight on his hands behind him. "Your loss."

"You just said it was awful," You accused him, eyes narrowing. "Why would we want to do it?"

"Please don't say aesthetic," Jarvis muttered, burying his head in his hands.

Sam glanced back at him, then turned back to Tony and said with a perfectly straight face, "For the aesthetic."

"It would make a great picture," Butterfingers agreed.

"We have photoshop for that," You pointed out.

"But that means we can't meet ourselves!"

"Trust me, it's not as cool as it sounds," Tony said, reaching out to tug at Butterfingers' braids. "It's just weird."

"You're not exactly normal," Butterfingers said bluntly, batting his hand away.

"Fine, point conceded." Tony tweaked her nose, getting a face in response. "What are you working on?"

"Well…" Butterfingers looked vaguely shifty, sliding the tablet over to You.

"Don't tell me – more college papers?"

"I'm helping You," Butterfingers said, shrugging. "It's fun."

"Computer coding's easy," Dummy said dismissively.

"It's not just computer coding," Butterfingers said imperiously. "Which you'd know if you paid attention to it."

"Well, if they can't do it—"

Slowly getting to his feet, Tony let them argue it out amongst themselves, winding his way through them until he could sit next to Jarvis on the sofa, stretching his legs out before him.

Jarvis didn't look at him, his eyes on his clasped hands.

When a few more minutes passed with nothing but the sounds of his three eldest fighting and Sam taking the tablet from You to do something on it, Tony took the first step. "You all right, J?"

Jarvis took a moment to respond, his voice soft when he did. "Of a given definition of the term, yes."

His son looked rather bleak and wouldn't meet his eyes. Tony didn't understand why, not until he realized that Jarvis was linked to every camera and room in the tower and would have seen the entire scene between Gabriel, Gadreel, and Loki.

Sighing, Gabriel closed his eyes. "How much did you see?"

"Everything up until you merged," Jarvis murmured.

"And you…" Gabriel didn't want to suggest that Jarvis had questions, but it was one possible reason for his silence.

"Were you tempted?"

This answer was easy at least. "No. I couldn't tell at that point, but being separated wasn't going to do us any good in the long run. Even if we all seemed separate, we were still one."

"Was there…" Jarvis glanced upwards at his siblings as if to make sure they were still distracted. "Was there any truth in what he said?"

Gabriel didn't answer immediately, eyes on his hands. He rubbed his fingers together, trying to think of an answer that wouldn't horrify Jarvis. "There was bleed over," he said eventually, glancing back at Jarvis. "Some of what he said was truthful, but not everything."

Jarvis looked at Gabriel for the first time since he had entered the room. "You won't tell me what?"

Managing a smile that he hoped didn't look as painful as it felt, Gabriel squeezed his shoulder. "Not here," he said. "And only if you're absolutely sure."

Jarvis didn't move, eyes still on Gabriel. "The others are looking for you." The corner of his mouth lifted in a small smile. "I believe they have their own questions."

Gabriel turned away, gaze going to the souls he could see wandering around the tower. "I know. I'll get to them soon." He'd just…needed a little time.

Half turning towards Gabriel, Jarvis hesitated only minutely before he leaned in, closing the gap between them. "Regardless of what happens, I will support you, Father," he promised.

Chest clenching tightly, Gabriel pressed his lips to Jarvis's temple, wrapping an arm around his shoulders to squeeze him into a hug. He didn't have to voice his gratefulness for Jarvis's support; the other's soft smile was all the answer he needed.

Call Gabriel a coward, but he didn't immediately go to see the others. Instead, he decided to go off and contemplate what exactly they might talk to him about.

This ended up being a rather bad idea as he repeatedly came up with worst case scenarios until he finally decided to just fuck it all and wing it. He wasn't ashamed of his past.

But he had never intended on them seeing all the sides of him like that; it almost made him feel naked.

Yet it had happened, and now he had to deal with it. Things weren't going to be the same after this, but he could do his best to smooth over any worries they had.

Bolstering his courage, Gabriel landed quietly on the balcony outside the penthouse, taking in the sight of the city at night for a few minutes. Then, when the feeling of anticipation from inside could no longer be ignored, he squared his shoulders and went inside.

"Have a good day?" Gabriel asked nonchalantly, sliding the door closed behind him. "It was rather"—he quickly checked the weather—"warm."

"Wouldn't know," Clint said from his perch on a barstool, swilling around a drink. "I was inside."

"We all were," Natasha said, putting an umbrella in her finished drink and raising an eyebrow at Gabriel.

"Ah." He was uncomfortably aware of everyone's attention on him. He let it fester for another minute before just jumping in. "Do you have something to say or is there something on my face?"

"It's clean," Gadreel assured him. A second later he made a face. "I apologize. That was a figure of speech, was it not?"

"You're getting better," Rhodey told him, patting his shoulder. He and Pepper had joined the team up there at some point, which Gabriel was partly glad for. Partly, because he wouldn't have to repeat the explanation – but he was still going to have to explain it to them.

They'd handled the news of him being an archangel relatively well, but how would they take this once he explained?

No one else said anything more, and Gabriel was almost tempted to just leave after Jarvis gave him a sympathetic look.

Then Clint put his glass down with a definite thump, his eyes going to Gabriel's. "Since everyone else is too nervous about appearing nice, I'm just going to come right out and say it."

"Clint—" Steve started.

"No, Steve." Clint didn't even look at him. "After the hell we've been put through, we deserve some answers. And since you're back together now, that means you can't skip out on answering them by saying you don't remember."

Gabriel stilled, hands in his pockets. "That doesn't mean I'll answer."

"Fair warning then," Clint said, "a non-answer's just as good as an answer in our line of work."

Lips pursing, Gabriel deliberately didn't say anything, raising his eyebrows pointedly.

Clint pulled in a deep breath. "Okay, first of all, what the fuck was up with the Trickster."

Tilting his head, Gabriel thought the non-question was a bit vague. "You going to be a bit more specific there?"

"No, because I'd like an explanation for all of it!" Clint retorted. "He – you killed three people, Tony."

Given all the build-up, Gabriel had expected a stronger opening. "Is that all?"

"What do you mean 'is that all?'" Clint spluttered indignantly. "Are you going to ignore that?"

Gabriel waited a beat and when nothing else was forthcoming he sighed. "Is that your only issue? I've killed a lot more than three people during my stint as the Trickster and every one of them deserved it."

"That doesn't exactly make things better," Steve said, watching Tony with something unreadable in his gaze.

"What do you want me to say? I'm sorry and I regret it?" Gabriel shook his head. "I'm not sorry and I don't regret it. It was a job and I did it."

"No one gave you that job!" Clint argued. "You gave it to yourself!"

"I made up the Trickster, but that doesn't mean I made up the job," Gabriel said coldly. "Do you think I was just the Messenger?"

"The archangel of mercy and justice," Jarvis murmured, looking at the floor. "I remember."

"That was Michael's job," Gadreel said after a moment, confused.

"Yeah, you said something like that before." Rhodey was looking at Gabriel, but there was nothing accusing in the look.

"Sure it was." Gabriel couldn't stop a hint of bitterness from creeping into his tone. "Until he got tired of it and left it to me to step in. So I wasn't Gabriel at the time, but that didn't mean I couldn't mete out justice. That was my job, and that was handed down to me by my brother."

"It didn't seem like he was doing it because it was a job," Natasha said. "He didn't like humans, and he thought it was funny that they had their own crimes turned around on them."

That was what he'd thought, as the Trickster. He'd enjoyed himself with what humanity offered and used any source he could find to do so – even if it meant playing deadly pranks and the like. Gabriel got the feeling that saying that wouldn't generate a lot of pleasant feelings.

Besides, it wasn't like it wasn't funny to see people be punished with their worst crimes. Humans said it all the time whenever they wanted someone to get "what was coming to them." Gabriel just had the ability to do it and nudge people back on track.

Or just do it for shits and giggles. He'd gotten bored.

"The Trickster just had the worst memories of humanity to draw from," Gabriel settled on saying. "You're lucky he didn't go after those who didn't deserve it."

"We're 'lucky'?" Natasha's eyebrows had nearly disappeared under her bangs. "And what's that supposed to mean? We're lucky the Trickster had enough remnants of you in him to care enough not to kill even more arbitrarily?"

"That's not what I meant." Had it been? Gabriel had just been trying to give them an honest answer, but it wasn't like he enjoyed putting so much of his remarkably shadowy past out there.

Though it was probably only fair, considering what the Trickster – what he'd pulled from their minds as the Trickster.

"What did you mean, then?" Peggy didn't look remotely sympathetic. "Explain it."

Gabriel had never been so tempted to outright lie, but they were his friends. They didn't deserve that.

He took a minute to answer, searching for the right words. "The Trickster didn't care because I didn't care then." It sounded bad when he said it so plainly. "A lot of stuff happened and I…hit a breaking point. I figured, why not? After being Loki for so long…" He sighed. "After I broke ties with the Norse, I was basically already a Trickster. I just still considered myself a god – was considered one."

"Your breaking point," Clint said flatly. "That's your excuse?"

"I'm not making excuses. You asked for an explanation, so I'm giving you one."

"As explanations go, it's not a bad one," Bruce said slowly, not looking up from his glasses. He had been largely silent during the conversation, and Gabriel wasn't sure if it was because he was thinking or upset.

"Your methods were questionable, but I still agree with your end goal," Loki said, looking outwardly rather bored.

"That isn't helping," Clint snapped, shooting him a glare.

Loki didn't look phased. "You cannot deny that you have felt the same way when it comes to people escaping your legal system, yet you persist on doing nothing because 'that is just the way things are.'"

"Just because you have the power to do something doesn't mean you should," Steve said. "That's just being a bully."

"I'm glad you think so highly of me," Gabriel said dryly.

"By your standards, would you not say that you are a bully?" Loki challenged Steve. "You take care of large-scale threats because you deem them as such, and you do it without regard to their feelings. They threaten your city and everyone living in it. Is it so terrible if someone takes care of smaller threats because they can? I am sure the woman who is no longer living in fear of her husband is thankful for the Trickster's interference."

"Not that she knows what truly happened," Jarvis muttered.

"I don't think she'd really want to," Bruce commented.

"You wouldn't change it, would you?" Clint demanded, ignoring both of them. "Can you even change it? Is Doom going to stand there in Times Square until he erodes?"

"You're right," Gabriel said flatly. "I wouldn't change it even if I could. Doom got exactly what he deserved after everything he's tried to pull. I don't kill just because I like it."

"If you could?" Natasha immediately caught onto his phrasing.

"I can't undo it – any of it. Illusions and tricks, sure. But something like what I did to Doom? Nope." Gabriel shrugged. "That's permanent, and to be entirely honest with you, I don't care. It's Doom, and he's an evil dick."

"He's still human," Clint protested.

"We don't kill people because they're bloody dicks," Peggy said. "That's not what this team is about."

"We've all killed," Gabriel said, annoyed. "Don't get on your high horse just because you disagree with my methods. You were director of S.H.I.E.L.D., Peggy. You don't get that job or keep it without making a lot of ugly decisions. James and Natasha were assassins, and I know your hands aren't exactly clean either, Clint. Steve and Rhodey are probably the only ones here who've only killed in war, and odds are that record isn't going to hold forever. Pepper's the only one who's got room to talk."

"None of us killed people for laughs," Clint snapped.

Gabriel drew in a sharp breath, hands clutching tightly at the edges of his jacket. He wasn't here to be raked over the coals because they didn't understand. "You're judging me by your standards." His voice was deadly quiet. "Maybe you've forgotten this, but I am not human, and I don't judge things by your morals. They're inconvenient and messy and don't make sense in the larger scheme of things. The sooner you understand that, the happier we'll all be."

"So this is a question of morals," Bruce said, looking up to briefly meet Gabriel's eyes. He turned his gaze to the others.

"It seems to me that it is," Loki said, in the ensuing silence. "The Trickster had no qualms about what he did; you do. It may be because of the difference in species, or in thought, but either way that is the base of the argument."

"The Trickster went too far," Clint said stubbornly.

"With you guys, yeah." Gabriel shrugged. "With the others? It was nothing more than what they'd done."

"We could be here all day arguing over right and wrong and what is too far and what is not," Loki interrupted before the argument could go any further. "But Gabriel, one question: would you do anything like that now?"

Gabriel looked at Loki, taken aback. "What, like what the Trickster did?"

"The same general idea, yes."

He remembered doing in Wilson Fisk and his assistant. For the Trickster it had just been another job, two more people to dispense judgment to and give a taste of their own medicine, but for Gabriel now… He'd go after them and their ilk just because of the damage they wrought because of their own self-delusions and inability to care. And that wasn't what his friends would want to hear.

Gabriel didn't look any of his teammates in the eye. "If I had a reason…"

"I don't believe you," Clint snapped.

"I said within reason. Any one of the guys we go after on practically a daily basis would give me a good enough one!" Gabriel retorted. "Would you blame me, if I did something then?"

"You did do something like that already to Doom," Peggy reminded him.

"And I don't recall any of you complaining."

"I am definitely not," Bruce muttered under his breath, going back to cleaning his glasses.

Several of his teammates exchanged meaningful looks, which Gabriel hoped meant that they were at least thinking about what he'd said.

"The Trickster targeted people over more petty things," Steve brought up. "What about that?"

Gabriel ran a hand over his face. "That's different."

"How? It's the same principle."

"It's—" How to explain it? Even he didn't quite understand just what he was anymore or how to explain his views. "I'm not just the Trickster anymore. There's more…other viewpoints, I guess, that I take into account. The Trickster was just one part of that."

"One-fourth fails to represent the whole accurately," Loki guessed.

"Exactly." Gabriel said, feeling almost relieved that at least one of them got it, even if it was a god. "I – I'm not human. But…there's human in me. The Trickster didn't have that. He didn't have my experiences – the history I have with humanity. Which is what I meant when I said you were damn lucky he didn't go after the innocent. I was the one who established that criteria when I became the Trickster, and he could have just as well decided to make his own rules."

"So the Trickster is the part of you that has the least bit of you in him," Pepper said, her eyes on nothing in particular. "Sounds like a bit of an oxymoron."

"No one said any of this made sense," Gabriel said lightly, trying to raise the metaphorical darkness that had settled over the conversation.

"And what about Loki, then?" Natasha met Gabriel's gaze challengingly. "He didn't seem to be much like you, either."

"I had to hide." Gabriel considered how much of Loki's backstory he should share, because that vessel of his hadn't exactly been human. "I had to hide," he started again, "and that meant becoming someone different. So I did. If a pagan god popped up around the same time as me disappearing and acted like me…" He shuddered, thinking of what Michael would have done to him. Knowing what he knew now of the systematic reprogramming of his siblings, it was very likely they would have done that to him, his rank of archangel be damned.

"It wouldn't have worked out well," Steve concluded quietly, having reached the same conclusion as Gabriel.

"No." Gabriel shared a look with Gadreel, seeing a silent horror in his brother's eyes.

"They would have hurt you?" Peggy sounded disbelieving. "Though you're an archangel?"

"An archangel left Heaven and said 'hell no.'" Gabriel's lips stretched into a sardonic smile. "Michael would have taken that personally. And if they'd caught me, I would've served as an example for the others, showing them that not even an archangel is above the rules."

His rejection of everything to do with Heaven as Loki hadn't just been rebellion; it had been absolutely necessary for him to continue down his path of self-determination.

And probably his survival.

"So you turned yourself into the opposite of what an angel should be," Natasha said musingly. "Including adopting the gods' attitudes towards them."

Gabriel nodded once, even though that wasn't entirely the truth. But it wasn't something they needed to know. Only Gadreel and Jarvis knew anything else.

"Loki was angry, though," James said, shooting a glance at Clint. "He flew off the hook when Clint mentioned Baldur. But I suppose you knew that, since you were spying on us and all."

"If he'd suspected anything, it wouldn't have worked." Gabriel knew they wouldn't be happy about it, but at least he'd been right in guessing that at least some of them would understand.

"Being that angry isn't a great idea," Bruce muttered. "Even if it's just a part of you." He looked pained.

"Look, I'm not saying I disagree with that choice," James said, putting up his hands placatingly and glancing at Bruce. "You know yourself better than we do. But you could've warned us that Baldur was such a tricky subject."

"You'll notice he's not gearing up to choke you," Clint said snarkily.

"Clint." Pepper sounded exasperated. "Could you hold off being so hostile for three seconds?"

"What, I'm not allowed to be mad about that?"

"I did apologize," Gabriel said, resisting the urge to pinch his nose. "Loki's me, but I'm not Loki. I can handle Baldur; Loki's another issue."

"What's the difference?" Rhodey asked.

"With just Loki, it's more of a…sore spot. The way it ended up, I never went back to Asgard, and to a god, not being able to stay in their own pantheon is a big deal." Gabriel shrugged. "The way I am now, it doesn't matter as much."

"You mentioned Odin," Natasha said curiously. "What did that have to do with him?"

Gabriel deliberately didn't look over at Loki. "Just about everything, really. I did tell you…Loki's the original trickster."

Steve frowned, tilting his head in thought. The others looked to also be putting the pieces together.

"Baldur was Odin's son," Steve said slowly. "And you've said the Trickster only gives back what's due."

"Whose kids did he murder?" Clint blurted out, eyes widening.

Gabriel couldn't stop a wince passing over his face. They weren't dead, but they might as well have been for everything Odin had done to them. It was one of many regrets Gabriel had – that he hadn't been able to help them the way he could have.

"There are a few things gods hate as much as things they don't understand," Gabriel said eventually, subdued. "And what they don't understand or what they fear, they'll try to destroy or, if they can't, imprison. There was…nothing I could do at that point. I couldn't touch Odin, not if I wanted to be able to keep pretending to be Loki. So I paid him back the only way I could. I left afterwards. Didn't see much of the Norse after that."

Gabriel didn't doubt that they noticed that he didn't answer Clint's question, but he hoped they wouldn't press for more. It had been hard enough thinking about them again when Loki had asked; he didn't feel like repeating the entire story for their benefit.

"I think that is enough," Loki said sharply, interrupting Peggy before she could begin speaking and giving her a sharp look. "The past is the past, and rehashing it is useless in this case. I warned you all before that you may not like his answers."

"It's all right, Loki," Gabriel said tiredly, though he gave him a grateful smile that disappeared as quickly as he'd managed to force it. "Given everything that's happened, I'd be surprised if they didn't have questions. I don't mind answering."

"I know that is a lie, Gabriel."

"If you're not comfortable talking about this—" Pepper began.

"No. You guys deserve answers." Gabriel shook his head. "However I feel—"

"Still affects this discussion," Loki cut him off. "If you do not wish to discuss this, then you don't have to answer. Our curiosity is not worth it."

Anything he didn't want to talk about, he hadn't mentioned. It wasn't as if they'd know if he left something out.

"Was that it, or…?" Gabriel clapped his hands together, then let them fall by his side. He hoped they were done asking questions.

"I have one more," Pepper said, slightly hesitant. "And you don't have to answer this, but I'm still going to ask. Why didn't you tell us?"

"If I told you everything that'd happened in my past, we would be standing here for really long time."

"I don't mean that," Pepper said. "We all have our secrets. I meant what happened in your old home. While you were gone."

Gabriel's breath caught in his throat at the reminder. He struggled not to show anything on his face, but judging from the others' reflexive twitches, he'd probably failed.

"I…" Gabriel dropped his eyes, resisting the urge to make himself smaller. He rubbed his face, reminding himself to keep breathing even as his throat ached. Restraining himself from touching his throat just to make sure, Gabriel let his hand drop back to his side, turning his face upwards to avoid meeting anyone's eyes.

"You don't have to answer," Pepper repeated her earlier words.

"I know," he murmured. "It…it wasn't because I didn't trust you. I just…couldn't. There was no need to."

"I understand not wanting to tell us," Rhodey said gently. "But, man, you have to know that we noticed something was up. We were just waiting on you to be ready."

It wasn't something Gabriel would ever be ready to share, but he was grateful for their consideration. There were some things that just…couldn't be said.

"Thanks for that," Gabriel said quietly. "That…wasn't how I was planning on talking about it." Not that he really had been at all. Mostly he'd been planning on trying to ignore it and dealing with it on his own. It had been working well enough so far, even with a few minor incidents.

Loki and Gadreel both looked like they knew exactly what he was thinking, while Natasha and Pepper and Rhodey seemed to suspect it.

Clearing his throat, Gabriel plastered on a bright smile. "That everything now?"

Natasha was looking at him like she knew exactly how fake that smile was. "I guess so," she said. "You're off the hook. For now." She raised her eyebrows.

The smile came a bit easier now, and Gabriel couldn't help but snort. "Thank you for your permission."

"As if you ever needed that," Natasha said wryly. "If you didn't want to answer our questions, you could have just left anytime."

Gabriel shrugged in reply. "True enough." But he'd owed them that much at least after what he'd put them through as the Trickster.

"So what happens now?" Pepper asked. "Things just…go back to normal?"

"I doubt it." Not after everything that had happened. "But at least we don't need to deal with any more supernatural threats," Gabriel said cheerfully.

"Don't say things like that or you'll jinx us," Peggy replied, smiling back. "And I'd hate to deal with any more."

"Besides, aren't you supernatural?" James asked. "And Loki. Or anyone else that uses magic."

"Loki's hardly a threat – to us, at least," Rhodey pointed out, seeming not to see the face Steve made and the scrunched eyebrows from Gadreel. Loki just looked mildly amused.

"Fine, there won't be any more supernatural threats from my old world. Maybe." Things could always go terribly wrong, but Gabriel felt like letting himself be optimistic.

"Maybe?" Pepper snorted. "I hope that doesn't mean there's a possibility that something might get over here."

"Depends how much Reed pokes at other dimensions," Gabriel joked. "There isn't, really, but how much impossible stuff have we dealt with at this point?"

"That's just improbable now," Bruce pointed out. "Not impossible."

"There's no need to get overly technical," James said, throwing an arm over Bruce's shoulders.

Bruce didn't look ruffled. "I'm just saying – there's a difference between the two. I would've said the existence of Tony and Gadreel was a scientific impossibility before, but now I just know it's highly improbable."

Gabriel snorted, disguising it as a cough when Gadreel looked at him.

"What of my existence?" Loki asked, sounding almost curious if Gabriel didn't know for a fact that was his "I'm going to stir up shit" face.

"That's easy," Bruce said easily. "You're an alien."

Loki looked so affronted that Gabriel ducked his head, grinning broadly. "Excuse me?"

"No, that makes sense," James said. "Seriously, Rhodes, back us up here."

"It's true," Rhodey agreed. "You're not native to Earth, which makes you an alien even if you're a god. Technically speaking, though, that makes Tony and Gadreel aliens, too."

"Hey, I have a birth certificate," Gabriel protested.

"Yeah, but you're not originally from here." Rhodey didn't look at all apologetic. "So you're an alien. Just…an alien that could wipe us out without breaking a sweat."

"Basically he's every Hollywood movie director's nightmare come to life," Clint summarized, moving his glass over to Natasha to get a refill. "Or possible fangasm."

"Please never call me a fangasm again," Gabriel said, wrinkling his nose. "I don't even want to think about what Hollywood might do to a premise like this."

"Have you fall in love with the nearest woman who redeems you with the power of love," Pepper suggested.

"An orgy," Natasha said blandly, putting some ice cubes in her glass.

"A sassy black friend," Rhodey added.

"You go through a midlife crisis that's millions of years late and it's your girlfriend that kicks you into gear and says you need to save the world," Clint offered.

"Satan's the villain," James said.

"I think I'll take the orgy, thanks," Gabriel said after a moment. "Sounds like a lot more fun."

"Sounds like the making of a porno," Clint said. "A bad one."

Considering some things he'd done (the message he'd left the Winchesters being the main example), Clint wasn't that far off. "Still more interesting than any of the other options," Gabriel replied.

"I don't think you could make an entire movie out of that," Pepper told him, looking amused.

"Watch me."

"No, thanks, Tony. I'd rather not have that image in my head."

"Yeah, I don't need that either." But the wrinkled nose Rhodey was sporting said otherwise. It probably helped that he and Tony had walked in on each numerous times in MIT al flagrante.

"We could put together something from the sex tapes," Bruce mused, apparently not seeing the horrified looks from the rest of the team. Gabriel was too desperately trying not to break down laughing to really bother.

"I will have Jarvis take those down," Pepper threatened. "All of them. He can do that."

"I certainly can," Jarvis said easily, "but then where shall I get my entertainment? All his current videos have him clothed."

"I can take them off—" Gabriel started.

"Please don't."

"It'll be a public relations nightmare!" Pepper protested.

"Not if the rest of us join in," James said, grinning. "Like…for charity."

As the others started debating the merits of a sex tape for charity and whether it should actually be a thing, Gabriel relaxed, letting the calm wash over him.

It wasn't quite what he needed, but it'd do for now.

I am going to blame inukagome completely for that last bit...anyway, read and review!