In pursuit of Olympic dreams

by LadyZeia

[AU-Canon Divergence/Alternate Timeline] Rin returns to Japan with one goal in mind: Rio. He's got it all planned out—kill it at the Olympic Trials, make the National Team, and—in Rio—show the world. Falling in love, though? That isn't supposed to happen… Olympic Free. Language, adult situations. RinHaru/HaruRin. Epilogue: Follow the sun / Our shining, brilliant future.

11. Fly, free, and farewell

Chapter 11: Fly, free, and farewell

A/N's: Beta by M.H.

Quick shout out to my guest/anon readers—Thanks so much for your reviews! I always love hearing from you.

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Friday, May 20th, 2016

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They gathered in the lobby of the Athlete's Village, just after breakfast. Outside, two buses were parked just beyond the entrance, waiting to transport Japan's National Swim Team to Day 1 of the Japan Open, at Tatsumi International Swimming Center. Rin was all suited up—he wore his Team Japan warmups over his official Team Japan leg skins. His swim caps were tucked into his gear bag. He was ready. Standing with his teammates—all of them in their matching red and white uniforms, representing Japan—it felt like Rio. He couldn't wait to get in the water and compete.

So why the fuck do you keep yawning? He shot a glare at Haru beside him, who was rubbing his eyes.

Haru noticed after a moment, looking sleepy as he dropped his hand to his side. "What? It's not even 6 am."

"Yeah, that's why we went to bed early."

Blue eyes flicked to Rin askance. "I had trouble sleeping…"

...alone. Rin's face heated. Just because we've been sneaking in naps every chance we get… "Tch." He looked away.

At the head of the gathering, Coach Fujino cleared his throat. "A few words, Olympians." He was dressed in Team Japan warmups, attended by his staff and Captain Ikehara. Fujino's disposition was sunny as usual. "Except for those races where you're qualifying for additional events in Rio, today is not the day for all-out, world-ending effort." He paused, smiling warmly, and clasped his hands behind his back. "Listen to your body; see how your capacity had changed since the trials. You don't have to be the fastest you've ever been; you just have to be faster than the other swimmers." His gaze swept the Olympians. "Use the clock for you. Don't let it own you. Show your strengths, but don't show everything. Be like ninja. Keep your secret weapons hidden."

A rumble of laughter went through the team.

Captain Ikehara, standing on Fujino's right, coughed lightly, covering a smile. "That's pretty corny, Coach."

"I know." Fujino winced, smiling. "My kids tell me that, too." He rocked back on his heels. "Alright, Olympians, have fun out there. Remember, this is your send off. So enjoy it."

A pang tempered Rin's eagerness as they all headed outside into the cloudy morning to board the buses. He followed Haru, his friend's glossy, black hair at eye level. When this comp's over, you're leaving for Norway. Two months was a long fucking time. It didn't used to be, but… What am I going to do when I can't hug you every day?

They climbed onto the first bus, taking a seat near the back and stowing their gear bags on the rack above. It was a tour bus with cushy, padded seats, two to a side.

Haru took the window seat. As soon as they were settled and the bus began to move, turning out onto the street, he closed his eyes and leaned against Rin's shoulder. "Wake me up when there's water."

"…Ah." Rin turned his head, his cheek brushing the softness of Haru's hair. He inhaled discreetly, taking in the familiar scent of Haru and chlorine, as if he could memorize it. As Rin gazed out the window, not really looking at the city flashing by, he slipped his hand between the seats, meeting Haru's against the cushions. Rin wove their fingers together and sighed, squeezing gently.

Haru squeezed back.

-x-

Tatsumi was packed with swimmers, trainers, and officials, more so than during the Olympic Trials. In addition to the various Japanese clubs competing, Rin saw swimmers from India, Sri Lanka, Mongolia, Hong Kong, Taiwan…and, of course, the Australians in green and gold. Rin and Haru stashed their gear and headed out for warm ups in their swimsuits and caps with goggles slung around their necks. The main pool was crowded with competitors circle swimming…running into each other's feet, passing, getting bunched up at either end of the pool. Rin doubted the 25m warmup pool downstairs was any better.

"Nn." Haru was frowning.

"It's only gonna be worse in Rio," Rin said. "Come on."

They made their way towards the blocks. While Haru decided on a lane, Rin scanned the other swimmers, looking for familiar faces in yellow caps with green lettering…

"Hey, Rin!"

He spun, searching the crowd until he spotted the waving hand. "Ty!" He grinned, tapping Haru's shoulder and heading over.

They caught up behind the blocks of lane four, Rin and the lanky Australian in black jammers with ice blue eyes and pale blond eyebrows.

"Hey, good to see you," Rin said in English as they shook hands. "Congratulations!"

"Thanks! You too." The guy grinned, flashing perfectly straight teeth. "Four events, right? That's fantastic. And you're up for number five tonight, yeah?"

"Yeah, the two hundred free. Barely missed it last time."

"I heard. Heartbreaker."

Haru joined them, glancing between Rin and the taller Australian.

"Haru." Rin switched back to Japanese. "This is Ty. We swam for the same club in Sydney."

Haru stepped forward, surprising Rin, and extended his hand. "Nice to meet you. My name is Haruka Nanase."

Haru. Flush with pride, Rin fought the urge to grin like an idiot.

"I only swim free."

Ty laughed as they shook, glancing aside to Rin. "This is the guy you told me about."

Haru's eyes flicked to Rin.

Rin's face heated.

"Pleased to meet you, Haruka." Ty smiled broadly. "Ty Bingham. I swim everything, but it's IM and free, mostly."

Haru nodded.

"As for the rest of the crew, Dillon over here's fly." Ty pointed and a guy in black leg skins paused his stretching to wave. "Dave's back. Tristan's breast, wherever the hell he went." Ty shrugged. "Ethan's our sprinter and team captain." Ty raised his voice."Hey Ethan—"

"Ethan McInnes," Rin said to Haru. "Rio's his—"

"—third Olympics," Haru said. "I know, Rin."

Rin cocked a brow. "Since when do you…"

"What?" Haru shrugged. "If I'm gonna care about times and stuff, I should be familiar with the competition, right?"

Rin smiled.

Ethan joined them, his ash-blond hair dripping wet and askew. The guy was several centimeters taller than Rin, wearing marine-blue jammers with his yellow swim cap tucked into the waist band. "Ty, you're slacking off again? I told you to get in the pool."

"Ethan, you remember Rin Matsuoka."

Brown eyes fastened on Rin with a spark of recognition. "Yeah. Good to see you, Rin." Ethan gripped his hand in a firm handshake. "We swam together a couple times."

"Yeah, back in Sydney," Rin said. "Good to see you. This is—"

"Haruka Nanase." Haru extended his hand.

"Ethan McInnes. Hey, congrats on the national record, both of you. In the fifty free, right?"

"That's right." Rin grinned.

"Guess that'll be the time to beat. Should be fun," Ethan said.

"We're looking forward to it," Rin said and Haru nodded.

"Fantastic. Well, we'd better get cracking, yeah?" They parted with a wave.

Rin slung an arm around Haru's shoulders as they turned away. "Haru, you rocked that."

Haru was quiet. By the look on his face, he was puzzling through something.

"Haru?"

"Cracking," Haru said. "Like an egg? I don't get it."

Rin chuckled. "Cracking, like… 'Get to it.' English is hard enough, right? Without the sayings, too. Then throw in Australians having their own words for stuff. Like swimsuits are sometimes called cossies and our warmups are trackies."

Haru hummed. "What's mackerel?"

"Still mackerel." Rin gave Haru's shoulders a squeeze. "You'd be fine."

"Hm."

-x-

Rin's program for the morning was two prelims—the 200m fly and the 200m free. The women's prelims for the 200m fly were up first; Rin watched from the waiting area as they cycled through the heats—each heat lining up behind the blocks prior to the finish of the previous race. There were only a few people watching from the stands—mostly other swimmers and their teammates.

It was one thing for Coach Fujino to suggest he take it easy, especially when the 200m free was the race that mattered, but. Kawamura was relaxing nearby in his warmups, listening to music. Rin folded his arms, taking a few deep breaths and centering himself. I hate that someone like you is faster than me.

Across the room, Dillon Lee, from Australia, was stretching. He had top seed and would swim in the seventh heat. His warmup jacket was a bright goldish yellow—the color reminding Rin of Gou's Iwatobi T-shirt—with green accents that matched his green pants. Rin didn't really know the guy. They'd swam together in a couple of competitions over the years; Dillon was from a club in Queensland.

The men's prelims for the 200m fly directly followed the women's races. Seven heats, sixty two swimmers. It was ten swimmers per lane, except for the first heat of three. Rin was in the fifth heat. The stadium was relatively quiet through the first four heats—mostly the sound of the water and a modest amount of cheering. Rin shucked off his warmups, joining the lineup while the fourth heat raced down the length of the pool. He pressed his goggles into place, donning his Team Japan swim cap over his usual one and making sure everything was secure.

When the fourth heat was on their last fifty meters, Rin walked out in line with the rest of his heat, standing well behind the blocks as the race finished. His teammates in red and white were easy to spot, clustered near the rail in the seats closest to the waiting area. Haru was there beside Mikoshiba and Momo. Just seeing him loosened Rin up a little. He exhaled as the buzzer sounded, ending the fourth heat.

A blast of music played briefly over the speakers, then the fifth heat was announced.

Rin stepped up to the block on lane four.

"Matsuoka-kun!" "Rin-senpai!" The Mikoshiba brothers were loudest, but it was a chorus of voices cheering him on.

You guys. Rin adjusted the start block, buoyed by their regard, but by Haru's presence most of all. At the four pulse whistle, he set one foot on the block, giving his shoulders a shake. At the long whistle, he stepped up and bent into position.

"Take your marks."

Rin tensed in the quiet stadium. At the start signal, he leapt forward, piercing the sparkling water. When he surfaced, his team was cheering—a steady chant led by one of the girls. Rin powered down the pool and back for the first hundred meters. At the turn—

"The leader is in lane four, Matsuoka Rin, Team Japan—"

He didn't hear the time, but—Team Japan—fuck, that felt good. Rin couldn't help turning it up a little even though he was supposed to hold back…

At the end of two hundred meters, Rin slapped the wall in first place, well ahead of his competitors.

"Matsuoka!"

Pulling his goggles down to his throat, he glanced at the board—1:56.76. It wasn't anywhere near his best time, but it was a respectable effort and put him in first place overall for now.

Rin swam to the side, getting out as the sixth heat—including Kawamura—took the blocks. He went back to the waiting area, toweling off and donning his warmups. The ready room was crowded with the women waiting to swim the 200m free next, including all four members of the Team Japan 4x200 meter relay team.

"Matsuoka, nice work," Takara said, her goggles perched on her forehead, below her swim cap. Her Team Japan kneeskins were black with white and lavender, with JAPAN on the left thigh and the flag on her left shoulder.

Rin paused at the lack of sarcasm in her voice. She just seemed focused. "Thanks," he said, hanging his towel around his neck. "Good luck, ladies." He nodded at Takara and the others, ducking out of the room.

"Rin." Haru met him in the hall, a sports drink in hand. "Thirsty?"

"Yeah, thanks." Rin took the offered can, capturing Haru in a one-armed hug that was way too brief, but there were only a zillion people milling around, so…

"You don't wanna watch the rest?" Haru asked, shoving his hands into the pockets of his warmup jacket.

"Nah. I don't wanna get riled up." Rin popped the tab on the can and took a long drink. "I'd rather be here…" with you.

Haru's eyes warmed. They found a spot to lean against the wall, listening to the cheering in the background as Rin continued working on his drink.

A display screen in the hall scrolled with the overall results at the end of all seven heats.

"Looks like you set the pace, Rin," Haru said.

"Ah…" He glanced at the board, lowering his half-full can. Kawamura was third with a time of 1:57.10 while Dillon Lee had taken second at 1:56.94. He didn't know much about Dillon's usual times, but Kawamura was holding back. Rin rolled his shoulders, sighing in an attempt to keep the agitation at bay. No point stressing about it—his performance in this race was not important. Gotta keep remembering that.

He lifted the sports drink again but paused, noting that Haru didn't have anything with him. "Want some?"

"Sure." Haru took the can and drank briefly before passing it back. "Thanks."

Rin finished the rest and chucked the empty can into the appropriate bin. As the women's 200m free heats got underway, the competitors for the men's race gathered.

"Hey, that was some nice fly, Rin," Ty said, he and Ethan joining them in Australian green and gold.

"Thanks," Rin said, accepting the slap on the back from his former teammate.

"What's the time you need in the free?"

"One forty-six, ten." The time that was burned into his memory.

Ty gave a low whistle. "Harsh."

Yeah, trying missing it by .04 seconds sometime…

"Sounds like a good challenge," Ethan said, stretching his long arms over his head.

Ty grinned. "Looks like it'll be you and me, Haruka."

There was a look of concentration on Haru's face as he processed the English. "Yes," he said.

Haru had top seed and would be swimming with Ty in the final (8th) heat. Ethan had seeded into the 6th heat, along with Mikoshiba. The way it worked out, Rin would be swimming in the 7th heat, in lane four, with Sugiyama in lane three. It would be Rin's first time seeing the guy swim in an actual competition. Sugiyama's times in the 200m free were good—Rin had seen enough in relay practice to respect the guy's ability. That said, the last time we swam against each other seriously… There was still a bitter taste in Rin's mouth from the occasion.

Sugiyama arrived on the edge of the milling group, in his Team Japan warmups. His eyes sharpened with recognition and he plucked wireless ear buds from his ears, coming over. "Ethan, good to see you again," Sugiyama said, extending his hand, though his face didn't change from his normal cool, detached expression. His English was good, barely accented.

"Noboru! Good to see ya!" Ethan grinned and the two men shook hands. "Still stuck up as ever, I see."

Sugiyama's lips pursed. "Well, you haven't changed."

Ethan laughed. "I heard you're only swimming relay this time around? What a waste."

The guy shrugged. "We'll see."

The blithe, non-committal response left Rin hot with irritation. Is that how it is? Swimming against us is beneath you, but here… Out here with the 'real' competition… A small voice in the back of his head wanted to remind him that he was being hypocritical. He'd left Japan to train in Australia. But I'm not being an ass about it and only deciding now that I want to compete in other events—

A sudden realization flooded Rin with cold. The 200m free. There was one spot up for grabs—the one he wanted, the one he'd claimed the moment he knew he'd get a second shot at it. Rin tensed up, though he worked to keep his hands loose at his sides, keep it from showing on his face. The slot is mine. I'm not letting you have it.

Haru touched his arm. "Rin, wanna go check in?"

He met Haru's gaze, the calm, unruffled look that said, You don't need to do that, Rin.

Rin relented. "…Yeah."

They slipped away from the others, joining the growing line of competitors waiting for check in and inspection with the clerk of course.

Rin stood behind his friend in line, shoving his hands into the pockets of his warmup jacket. He stared at the JAPAN on the back of Haru's jacket. "Haru…"

"You'll swim better if you're relaxed, Rin."

He exhaled. "You think so?"

Haru glanced back over his shoulder and nodded.

I wouldn't know. I'm never…relaxed. Unless I'm with you. Weight pressed upon his shoulders. And you're leaving. On Tuesday.

It must've been showing on his face again, because Haru's expression sobered. "I'm just glad we're swimming together. Maybe it's selfish of me, to want you to enjoy it too." Haru twisted forward once more. "I guess it is. If you'd rather be irritated, that's your choice—"

Haru. Heat gathered in Rin's throat. He snaked an arm around his friend from behind, capturing Haru in a half-headlock, half-embrace, mindful of the fact that couldn't be less alone. If it was just us, nothing would stop me from tackling you right now. "Haru, shut up already." Rin controlled his voice as best he could, holding the emotion at bay.

But the way Haru smiled with his eyes, some of it must've bled through.

-x-

Rin stood behind the block on lane four in his leg skins, waiting for the 6th heat to finish. Ethan, the veteran Australian sprinter, occupied the lane, his 100m split right at 52 seconds. Mikoshiba was in lane three, a length behind. As the swimmers completed the flip turn for the final fifty meters, Rin pressed his goggles into place and made sure all the straps were covered by his Team Japan swim cap.

"Nii-chan!" Momo was yelling from the stands, hopping in place against the rail. Captain Ikehara was next to him, supervising.

Ethan led the heat to the finish, his smooth, powerful freestyle familiar to Rin from previous competitions in Australia. If he could get over this stupid rivalry with Sugiyama and forget about the pressure of the clock, he'd be looking forward to swimming against Ethan in the final. Yeah, you won every race back in Sydney. But you're up against me and Haru, this time.

Rin swung him arms, keeping loose as the heat finished and the times flashed up on the clock. Ethan's time was 1:46.30. Rin grinned. Yeah, the final was going to be a good race. Mikoshiba finished just under 1:48.

The 6th heat competitors swam to the side and climbed out of the pool, heading back towards the ready room as the announcer called the 7th heat.

Ethan flashed Rin a smile as he passed. "G'luck, mate."

"Thanks." Rin grinned back.

He stepped up to the block at the whistle, to a smattering of people calling out his name and Sugiyama's. From the corner of his eye, he saw Haru watching from the ready room entrance, just beyond the edge of the pool deck, in his warmups and swim cap with his goggles perched on his forehead. Knowing Haru would be swimming right after him in the same lane was a pretty good feeling. Not as great as a relay, but almost. Watch me, Haru.

He ignored Sugiyama in the lane on his right as he climbed onto the block and took his position for the start.

"Take your marks."

The stadium hushed—

Rin sprung forward at the buzzer, diving into the cool, still water… Beneath the surface, streamlined dolphin kicks had him surging forward to just shy of the fifteen meter mark. Rin broke the surface to the sound of his teammates cheering, pacing himself so he wouldn't tire too early. Sugiyama, on his right, and the swimmer in lane five on his left both matched him, stroke for stroke. After the first turn, Sugiyama started to pull ahead. Rin refused to be baited, holding back and conserving for the sprint… Sugiyama was a half a length in front of him going into the turn at one hundred meters, the announcer calling him in the lead. The fifth lane swimmer was ahead by a slimmer margin. Rin flipped at the wall and pushed off with everything left to give. He built his speed steadily, overtaking first the swimmer in lane five and then gaining on Sugiyama. They hit the wall for the final turn at the same time, the deafening cheers of the crowds going muffled as he submerged. At fifteen meters, Rin surfaced in an all-out sprint, knowing that Haru would be waiting for him at the finish line. He charged forward, leaving Sugiyama and the rest of the swimmers behind as he stretched for the wall—

Rin thrust his hands against the wall and popped up to excited screaming. Raking off his cap and goggles, he turned for a glimpse of the board. 1:46.08. Yes! He slammed his fist into the water as the other swimmers finished around him. And he wasn't even breathing as hard as he should've been. Taper was paying off. You were right, Haru.

He swam to the side and climbed out, eager to see the look on Haru's face—

Even through tinted goggles, Rin could see the excitement in Haru's eyes and he felt a thrill in response, like he could live off the happiness Haru wore. –The look that was just for him. God, he wanted to hug Haru. But he had to settle for a shared warm look as they passed. To Haru's left, Ty was grinning, giving him a thumb's up.

Rin was on cloud nine when he got back to the ready room. He grabbed a towel, standing just off the pool deck as he dried off, watching Haru climb onto the lane four block at the whistle. Ty was in lane five.

"Take your marks."

The overhead lighting glistened off slick skin as Haru dove in at the start signal, sliding effortlessly into the water. I never get tired of watching you swim. Rin draped the towel around the back of his neck. Just like I never get enough of swimming with you. Or… His face heated. Touching you…holding you…napping with you… Rin bit down on his lower lip, forcing his attention back to the race—

Haru and Ty were leading the pack into the first turn. Steady cheering followed them, along with shouts of "Nanase-senpai!" and "Haruka!" Coming up on 100m, the two were trading the lead back and forth. At the wall, the split went to Ty, just under 52 seconds. He started to pull away as they headed towards the final turn, but Rin watched, breathless, as Haru built his speed—smooth and effortless, claiming the wall for the last flip turn and racing towards the finish— Ty had come up to a full-speed sprint, but even his raw, powerful strokes couldn't catch Haru.

Haru slapped the wall sub 1:46 to loud screaming from the crowds. And these aren't even the finals. The official time flashed up as 1:45.94 and Haru was studying the board with raised brows like he wasn't sure the time was right. And the way he was breathing, Rin knew Haru could do it all again.

Rin waited, impatient, as Haru climbed out of the pool, exchanging a handshake with Ty as the 8th heat swimmers filtered back towards the ready room. He pressed himself to one side of the entrance, making room, the anticipation building in his chest as Haru walked towards him. Haru, being his usual cool self, pulled off his cap and goggles as he approached, flinging the water from his hair.

Rin had him the second Haru was within reach, a crush of arms around Haru's damp torso. Haru was hugging him back and it felt so damn good, though it wasn't nearly enough. If there wasn't a shit-ton of people here, I'd kiss you on the mouth right now… He forced himself to draw back, but it was really fucking hard to let go.

Haru's blue eyes were warm as they parted, an expression that Rin soaked in.

"Rin…one, two," Haru said, the words themselves simple and not especially earth-shattering. But the way Haru said it, the way he smiled faintly, and the look in his eyes…

It stole Rin's breath and made him forget everything. Haru. He wanted to run his fingers through Haru's wet hair, wanted to kiss Haru's damp lips until they reddened… Rin swallowed hard and stepped back, trying to maintain some reasonable amount of self-control.

Haru's gaze flicked over him, studying, reading… Then Haru's eyes glittered, leaving Rin no doubt at all that Haru could guess what he was thinking.

Rin's cheeks started to burn. He looked away as footsteps approached—the first heat of the women's 100m backstroke. The eight women walked out in line, passing them.

He cleared his throat. "We should, uh…"

"Yeah."

After rinsing off and donning their warmups, they headed for the stands, joining Mikoshiba, Takara, and the rest of the team, watching Momo finish first in the heats for the men's 100m backstroke and Captain Ikehara clean up in the men's 100m breaststroke.

They broke for lunch afterwards, in small groups, leaving Tatsumi for the sunshine and mild temperatures outside.

"Hey, Rin! Haruka!" Ty was waving from the bottom of the concrete steps, with half of the Australian contingent. "Wanna grab a feed with us?"

Rin smiled, glancing aside at Haru. "You up for this?"

Haru, beside him, took a deep breath. "Yeah, let's go." His lips pursed. "Do you think they eat saba?"

They ended up at a place Rin and Haru had frequented during the Olympic trials. The athletes squeezed around a narrow wooden table, sharing menus.

"The mackerel with miso is good here," Haru said to the Australian on his right. Her damp blond hair was pulled back into a smooth ponytail; she peered at the pictures on the Japanese menu.

"I'm keen on miso," she said. "But that's soup, right?"

"Miso can be used in many different ways," Haru said. "It's made from fermented soybeans."

The guy on Haru's left leaned over, pointing at a different picture on the menu. "What's this one?"

"Saba shio. It's salted mackerel. That is my favorite."

Rin, seated across from Haru at the table, watched with pride welling up in his chest, a glass of water in hand. Haru, I always knew you could do this if you wanted to.

Ty tapped Rin on the shoulder. "Rin, what do you recommend here that's not mackerel?"

Rin tore his gaze away, turning his attention to the menu. "If you want meat, I suggest…"

-x-

Events that evening started with the B-finals for the morning's races. Rin and Haru split their time between cheering with their team and the warmup pool. The stands were fuller now, with other spectators filtering in as time went on. From the second row, they were watching Mikoshiba in the men's 1500m freestyle timed finals when Rin's phone buzzed in the pocket of his warmup jacket.

He leaned back in his seat and pulled the phone free, glancing at the text message. "Gou says their plane just landed."

Haru started to reply, but his phone buzzed too. He looked at it. "Makoto says the same thing. He thinks they'll be here in an hour."

Rin nodded, tapping out a quick reply. [See you when you get here. I should be done swimming by then. Sousuke and Makoto are there to pick you guys up.]

Gou texted back. [Yup, I know. I've been texting them already.]

Rin sighed.

Haru cocked a brow; Rin showed him the text. "You should resign yourself to the fact that Gou spends most of her time with guys, Rin. It's not a new thing."

Rin scowled. "You are not helping."

Haru just shrugged.

-x-

At the specified time, Rin joined the other competitors for the men's final of the 200m butterfly. There were ten swimmers—eight from Japanese clubs and two from the invited nations—Dillon from the Australian team and a competitor from Taiwan. Rin had top seed for the race, lining up between Dillon and Kawamura. With a blast of music and swinging, multi-colored lights, they walked out through the archway, the announcer listing off their names as the crowd cheered.

"…In lane three, Kawamura Ryouta, Team Japan. In lane four, Matsuoka Rin, Team Japan. In lane five, Dillon Lee, Team Australia. In lane six…"

Rin stripped off his warmups behind the blocks, shoving them into the provided bin. He splashed water on himself from the bucket and adjusted his goggles and swim cap. The 200m free, the race that mattered, would be held in less than twenty minutes. Tactically, he in no way wanted to concede or lose this race. Strategically though… Let's just call this a warmup.

Haru was watching from the stands; Rin felt his calm gaze as the whistle blew and he approached the block…

Rin claimed bronze with a time of 1:54.15—a personal best that he wasn't disappointed in at all. Kawamura clocked in for silver at 1:53.98 while Dillon took gold.

Rin climbed out of the pool, drying off and spouting the usual lines for the post-race interview. He threw on a smile for the podium, giving a thrilled look to the camera for the bronze medal he'd settled for.

"Even phoning it in, you're not bad," Takara said when he got back to the ready room. She was smoothing a crease out of her swim cap.

Rin answered the venomous compliment with a smile. "Thanks. I thought the same thing, watching your 800 free."

Takara's face darkened, her voice sharpening. "No point wasting effort where it doesn't count." She'd gotten 4th place in the 800m free timed finals earlier.

"I couldn't agree more," Rin said, answering in cool tones. "Good luck out there."

Green eyes flicked over his face, as if to ascertain if he meant that or not.

He did. Both slots in the women's 200m free were up for grabs. Though he'd never heard Takara outright say she was going for it, he knew she was. For once, I can empathize.

She exhaled, settling her goggles over her eyes. "Thanks," she muttered, like it pained her to get the syllables out. "You too."

Rin left the room as the women lined up for their race. At the check-in station, he caught up with the other finalists for the men's 200m free.

Haru met him with a warm, amused look. He reached out, grasping the bronze medal that hung from Rin's neck and studying it briefly. "It's the first time for this color," he said.

"Tch, Haru." Rin snorted. "It's still on the podium."

Haru smiled with his eyes and they went to check in.

-x-

The women's qualifying time for the individual 200m free was 1:56.82, a crushing two seconds under the qualifying time for the 4x200m freestyle relay. Five women from Team Japan had made it to the final, including all four members of the women's relay team. Rin watched on the screen in the ready room as Takara stepped up to the block on lane five, to shouts of her name and her teammates'. An Australian was top seed in lane four.

The ten swimmers mounted the starting blocks, tensing for the buzzer—

"She's not relaxed," Haru murmured.

Rin glanced at him, but Haru didn't elaborate.

Takara's form was damn near perfect. If she was stiff, Rin couldn't tell. She surfaced from her dolphin kicks at a good pace, trading the lead with the Australian on her right.

"Her best time's one fifty-seven something?" Rin asked.

"Yeah," Haru said.

The two women hit the wall for the first turn at virtually the same time, then Takara began to pull ahead. She led the pack by a sliver at the 100m split.

The announcer's voice came on as the women flipped into the second turn. "The leader is in lane 5, Sakamoto Takara, Team Japan, at fifty-seven, fifty-seven."

Rin watched Takara accelerate into the third and final turn, leading by more than a stroke. She came up charging through the last fifty meters. He forgot about their rivalry as the clock ticked up and the swimmers neared the finish, holding his breath and silently pulling for a fellow athlete—

"Sakamoto!" "Taka-chan!" Their teammates in the stands were shouting.

Rin felt it in his gut as Takara hit the wall and her time flashed up: 1:56.99. She'd taken first place, a half second ahead of the Australian beside her and the rest of the finalists. On the screen, Takara face crumpled with anger and frustration; Rin looked away, feeling an echo of her pain.

Takara managed to pull it together graciously for the interviews and the podium after, but her eyes were swimming with fire when she got back to the ready room in her warmups, her long black hair loose and wet, her gold medal gleaming against her chest.

Rin didn't say anything and neither did Mikoshiba, who was standing nearby with his arms folded over his warmups, his face shuttered.

But Haru stepped forward. "Takara."

Rin inhaled. Haru, what the fuck are you doing?

Takara's eyes flashed rage at Haru. "Like I want any fucking sympathy from you, Haruka."

Haru, unfazed, lifted his brows. "You looked good in the water."

Haru, she's gonna punch you in the face—

Takara stilled and for a second, Rin really thought he might have to intervene— But her breath came out in a puff and she scowled. "You and your stupid water fetish." She flung her arms around Haru's shoulders, squeezing briefly. Haru accepted but didn't return the embrace. Then she pulled away, her face easing a little. Her eyes flicked to Rin. "I expect you guys to clean up out there, Matsuoka."

Rin released the breath he didn't know he'd been holding. "That's the plan."

"Good." Takara walked off, following the rest of her teammates from the ready room.

Rin pursed his lips, looking at Haru.

"What?" Haru asked. "She needed that." Blue eyes softened into a gentle look like, you don't need to be jealous, Rin.

"Hmph." Rin snorted, looking away. I'm not.

The announcer came on over the speakers. "Next up, event twenty-two, men's two hundred meter freestyle, final."

As everyone moved towards the lineup, Haru caught his hand, holding him back…

Rin glanced over, meeting Haru's gaze and a very clear flick of blue eyes towards his lips. His breath caught.

"Race me, Rin," Haru murmured, the words full of warmth and tease and promise.

Fuck, Haru. Rin's exhale trailed over his teeth. He grinned, slinging his arm across Haru's shoulders as they headed for their place in line.

-x-

The ten of them walked out in their warmups to loud music and the announcer's voice. "…In lane two, Mikoshiba Seijuurou, Team Japan—"

"Sei-chan!"

Rin lifted his brows at the sound of Nagisa's voice. You guys got in early.

"—In lane three, Ethan McInnes, Team Australia. In lane four, Nanase Haruka, Team Japan—"

"Haru-chan!" "Haruka-senpai!" "Nanase-senpai!"

"—In lane five, Matsuoka Rin, Team Japan—"

"Rin-senpai!" That was Nitori's voice. "Rin-chan!" "Onii-chan!"

Rin grinned to himself as he stopped behind the block on lane five and peeled off his warmups.

"—In lane six, Ty Bingham, Team Australia. In lane seven, Sugiyama Noboru, Team Japan. In lane eight…"

He glanced at the stands as he settled his goggles into place, seeing his sister and Nagisa hanging over the rail and waving. Nitori was also on his feet. With them were Sousuke, Makoto, Rei, and Gou's friend, Hanamura Chigusa.

Rin smiled. He adjusted the block and stood back, circling his arms to stay loose and warm.

The shouting continued, the watching members of Team Japan joining in and Rin exchanged grins with his former teammate, Ty, noting a quick exchange between Haru and Ethan on his right, though not hearing what was said over the din of cheering. The whistle pierced the air, sending the competitors to the blocks. Rin felt good as he climbed up onto the lane five block, relaxed and ready. The nerves he should've felt weren't there. Because I'm surrounded by my friends. He felt Haru's gaze and glanced over, meeting the warm, charged look in blue eyes. Haru. A thrill went through him and he placed his feet, bending into position.

"Take your marks."

Rin tensed for the start…and flew at the buzzer. The noise of the crowd vanished beneath the surface of the pool as Rin dolphin-kicked forward, sensing Haru on his right and Ty on his left. Haru took the lead underwater, his movements streamlined and smooth. He surfaced first; Rin followed, catching up. They settled into their usual pace for the first fifty, conserving their energy. Ty was testing him on the left, little surges forward to take the lead, baiting him to charge in and follow, but Rin held back, waiting… He wondered if Ethan was doing the same on Haru's right.

Rin and Haru hit the turn in unison, flipping and kicking off the wall. Rin set the pace for the second fifty, Haru trailing him by half a stroke, Ty by two. Into the second turn, he heard Australia instead of Japan, though not the time—Ethan was leading. Haru came off the wall strong for the third fifty and Rin built up to his sprint… Then, they were racing all-out—him and Haru—battling stroke for stroke into the final turn… He lost Ty as they flip turned, dolphin-kicking with precise, powerful motions and breaking the surface for the last thirty-five meters…

Haru got faster and faster with each stroke; Rin surged forward, overtaking his friend and then falling behind repeatedly as Haru's speed increased. And he loved it, his entire body humming with the thrill of swimming with Haru, competing with Haru, aiming for Haru. You've always been more incredible than me. I've always looked up to you. And you're here. You're here—

Rin didn't breathe for the final fifteen meters, pulling out everything he had left and charging after Haru, into the wall—

He hit and popped up, lungs burning, muscles screaming. The stadium was filled with excitement, cheering, voices overlapping. Rin yanked his goggles down to his throat, turning and swimming towards the lane line at the same time Haru was coming towards him. They gripped hands over the line and Rin finally lifted his eyes to the board…

1 – Heat 1, Lane 4 – NANASE Haruka – JPN – 1:45.57

2 – Heat 1, Lane 5 – MATSUOKA Rin – JPN – 1:45.70

3 – Heat 1, Lane 3 – McINNES Ethan – AUS – 1:45.72

"Yes!" He'd done it! Rin launched himself over the lane line and tackled his friend.

Haru lost his grip on the line and they both went under—

Rin embraced Haru beneath the surface, his arms winding around Haru's neck, his lips finding Haru's—

He popped up with a fist pumped skyward in triumph, finally catching his breath.

"Rin, nice race," Ethan said from lane three.

"Thanks! You too!" They grabbed hands briefly over the line.

"Rin!" Ty swam over, laughing and joining them in lane four. "What the fuck! I've never seen you swim like that!"

Rin grinned from ear to ear. "I told you, right?" He slipped his arm around Haru's shoulders, still bobbing in the water. There's nothing else like it—swimming with Haru.

A shadow fell over them from the blocks. "Matsuoka, Nanase, let's go," Mikoshiba said in his captain's voice, looking stern with a hand perched on his hip, but his eyes were alight with excitement.

Ty laughed. "Better not get our arses DQ'd, eh?" He swam for the side of the pool with Ethan.

Rin followed, climbing out. Haru trailed behind, getting out last and that uncharacteristic hesitation on Haru's part made Rin pause and glance back… Haru's face glowed from more than just exertion, his eyes warm with quiet pleasure.

Rin's eyes widened. Oh fuck, I just… His face heated. "Haru, that's doesn't count. That's not one of the five."

Haru cocked a brow, his eyes dancing with amusement, water rolling from his swim cap down the curves of his face. "You're saying that was an accident? Because it felt pretty intentional to me, Rin."

Damnit, Haru—

Haru smiled, his gaze flicking to something behind Rin. He took hold of Rin's arm, steering him around— "Let's go, Rin. They want to interview us."

Oh great…

Haru had the first interview in front of the sponsors' wall while Rin waited, watching from the side.

"Nanase-kun, congratulations on another personal best. What can you tell us about tonight's race?"

Haru leaned towards the microphone, the goggles dangling from his neck. "It's one of my last races before leaving. I wanted it to mean something and I wanted it to be a race I wouldn't forget."

The words drained the life out of Rin's body. The race was so good, I forgot. I forgot we only have two more races like this before you leave…

The reporter, dressed in a business suit, nodded as she took back the microphone. "And was it everything you hoped?"

When Haru spoke again, his voice was softer. "Yeah," he said. "And more."

Haru. Emotion caught in Rin's throat, hot and suffocating. God, how the fuck am I supposed to do this? I thought I'd be fine. Just two months. I'm supposed to be the one prepared to do this, it's supposed to be easy for me—

"Thank you, Nanase-kun. Congratulations."

"Thanks." Haru stepped down from the wall. His eyes widened with a trace of alarm. "Rin?"

Oh fuck. Rin drew a thick breath, trying in vain to compose himself. He stripped off his swim cap, running his fingers through damp strands of hair, stalling for precious seconds so he could get it the fuck together. But it was still too soon when he was standing in front of the sponsor's wall with the camera in his face.

The reporter offered a sympathetic smile. "Matsuoka-kun, the last time you stood here after this event, you'd missed the Rio qualifying time by less than a tenth of a second. How does it feel to blow that time out of the water today?"

Talk about a softball question. He wasn't about to complain. "Obviously, it's an overwhelming feeling. Redemption, revenge…I'm not even sure what to call it. This race was really important to me for a lot of reasons. I don't take it for granted." Anytime I get to race you, Haru. Especially now.

"Are you excited for the chance to compete internationally prior to Rio?"

Rin managed a smile. "Of course. It's going to be great, getting more experience on an international level." He hoped that line was convincing enough. "Then again, tonight was also special—Ty's a former teammate of mine and Ethan and I have raced before in Australia. It was a great opportunity all around. Beating the clock was the goal, but there's no better feeling than getting to race with people I care about." Fuck, did I just say that on national TV? He kept smiling—nothing to do now but own it.

The reporter nodded in apparent approval. "Congratulations, Matsuoka-kun."

"Thanks." He stepped down as quickly as he could without it being weird.

Returning to the blocks, he grabbed a towel and dried off before donning his warmups and joining Haru and Ethan on the podium. He accepted silver to Haru's gold and the three of them posed for pictures. Rin gripped his medal in one hand, giving the cameras a better view and keeping it together, barely.

When the camera operator motioned for a picture of just the two of them, Rin unashamedly choked back tears with his free arm slung across Haru's shoulders. Haru's arm was tight around his waist.

"Rin-chan, you can do it!"

Damnit, Nagisa. As soon as they were done, Rin scrubbed one hand over his face, sniffing hard.

"Rin-senpai!" "Haruka-senpai!"

Haru lifted one hand in a wave to the stands. With the other, he grabbed Rin's hand and tugged.

Rin clung to Haru's fingers, even though his face was burning, and let Haru lead.

-x-

After a quick rinse off, they grabbed their stuff and left the locker room. Ty tagged along as they headed up into the stands.

"Onii-chan!" "Rin-senpai!"

Rin barely got his feet planted before Gou and Nitori barreled into him with hugs, nearly knocking him over.

"Oi!" He peeled them off, one at a time. Gou and Nitori were both wearing white T-shirts that said, Go Team Japan! in large red letters, with a small Japanese flag on the upper left. Gou wore hers with a gray sweatshirt and leggings while Nitori wore a teal sweatshirt and skinny jeans.

"Haru-chan!"

Haru grunted as he got an armful of Nagisa.

"Careful, you guys," Makoto said, smiling. He also wore one of the T-shirts, beneath a red flannel shirt.

"Seriously, what's with the shirts?" Rin asked. Nagisa, Rei, Hana, and even… "Sousuke?"

Sousuke was leaning back in his seat with a fond smile, his hands tucked into the pockets of his skin-tight black jeans, the T-shirt accentuating the fact that he was still fucking cut, despite giving up on swimming. He shrugged. "Your sister insisted. It's not like I could turn her down."

"Gou?"

"Onii-chan, aren't these great?" Gou spun, pulling her ponytail out of the way and dropping her sweatshirt off her shoulders. The back of her T-shirt said, My brother is an Olympian!

Oh, great. Nitori, your T-shirt better not fucking say…

Nitori was gazing up at him with liquid aqua eyes. "Senpai, do you want to see what mine says?"

"I get the idea, thanks," Rin said, shoving a hand into his hair.

Gou tied her sweatshirt around her waist. "I knew you'd—" She cut off abruptly, staring behind Rin. "Onii-chan, who…?"

Gou's friend Hanamura popped up beside her, eyes wide and lips forming a delicate O-shape. The girl's updo of light brown hair was secured by a barrette with three pink rosettes. She wore a short black skirt and black tights with her T-shirt.

Rin followed their gazes.

Ty lifted a hand in greeting. "G'day, loves. Name's Ty Bingham."

The girls stilled, their faces blank with shock—

Hana was the first to recover, slipping past Rin and extending her hand. "Hi, my name is Chigusa," she said in rough English.

"Hey there, Chigusa. Nice to know ya," Ty said, taking her offered hand.

Hana squealed, fanning her face with her free hand. "I could just listen to him talk all day!"

Ty smiled politely at the Japanese, clearly not understanding a word.

"Hana!" Gou's face flushed. "Let go already!"

"Nnn." The girl reluctantly backed away.

"You must be Rin's sister?" Ty asked, holding out his hand.

"Yes…" Gou laughed sheepishly as they shook. "That is… I am…" She gave up, sighing dreamily. "Flexor pollicis longus."

Rin's brow twitched. "Hey now…"

But Gou just shoved him aside. "Onii-chan, shouldn't you catch up with Sousuke or something?"

"Oi!"

"Gou, is this your brother?"

Rin turned at the unfamiliar voice, finding himself face-to-face and eye-to-eye with another girl in a Go Team Japan! T-shirt. She was taller than him, with tight orange corkscrews for hair, gathered back in a patterned headwrap and exploding behind her head like a starburst. Her eyes were gold like the medal around Haru's neck.

"You're even cuter in person," she said, staring at his face.

Rin blinked. "What?"

Beside him, Haru looked disconcerted.

Makoto came to the rescue. "Rin, this is—"

"Mikoshiba Mikan," the girl said, flashing her teeth in a grin.

"A…ah." Momo…Mikan… Your parents apparently have a thing for…

"Fruit," Haru muttered.

Orange-colored fruit. Rin wondered off hand why Seijuurou hadn't been named after a persimmon or something.

"Haha! Have you met my sister?" Mikoshiba appeared then, slinging an arm around his sister's shoulders. "Good to see you, Mika-kun!"

"Sei-nii!"

"Where's—" Mikoshiba stopped short, his eyes laser focusing— "Gou-kun!" He pushed past Rin, dragging his sister with him.

Rin sat down, just to get out of the way, landing between Sousuke and Nitori. "I'm gonna regret introducing them," he muttered, watching as Mikoshiba unsuccessfully tried to interject between Gou's broken English and Ty's smooth, Australian accent.

"I'll keep an eye out for you," Sousuke said.

Rin exhaled. "Thanks. I owe you."

"Nah. Getting to watch you swim like that is more than enough for me."

Rin glanced at his friend, at the uncanny warm look in emerald eyes. His brows lifted. I can't remember the last time I saw you look happy about anything. Not to mention that you and Haru are within a few meters of each other and it's apparently fine… Granted, Haru had been pretty well enveloped by the Iwatobi alums, two rows down. But still… "Sousuke…"

"Bronze in the fly, though," Sousuke shook his head. "You're better than that."

"Tch." Rin sat back, thrusting his hands into his pockets. "It just worked out to be the less important race, today. Tomorrow and Sunday won't be like that."

"Right," Sousuke murmured.

Rin cocked a brow.

Sousuke settled back with a smile. "You're good enough to do it all, Rin."

He exhaled. "Maybe."

They lapsed into silence; Rin felt Nitori's gaze. "Ai, how's school going?"

"Oh!" Nitori looked surprised at being addressed. "It's, uhm—"

"Nagisa, I said we weren't going to talk about that," Makoto said, his voice slightly elevated with alarm.

"Not going to talk about—oh. The water—"

Rin got distracted by Makoto's attempts to hush Nagisa. They must've been talking about Rio. He met Haru's gaze, questioning with a glance. You didn't tell them? Not even Makoto?

Haru shook his head and Rin got the impression it wasn't a topic Haru was ready to broach with his friends.

He nodded and leaned back. Haru tilted his head in a gesture of gratitude, returning to whatever subject Makoto had managed to steer the conversation to.

"…And I made a list of all your competitions and the time zones and the websites for streaming, so I can be cheering you on—"

Weren't we talking about calculus or something? Rin smiled, resting a hand on his kouhai's shoulder and squeezing affectionately. "Thanks, Ai. Just don't let it interfere with your studies."

Nitori's pale cheeks flushed. "Uh, hai—"

"Ai-chan!" Nagisa was waving from the front row, standing against the rail. "It's time for Momo-chan's race!"

"Oh!" Nitori hesitated, looking torn.

"Go," Rin said. "I'll be cheering from back here."

"OK." Nitori got up, smiling as he climbed down to the front row, where Nagisa and the others were already yelling.

"Momo-chan!" "Momo-kun!" "Momotarou!"

Down by the pool, Momo peeled off his warmups and waved vigorously towards the stands, dancing around in his Team Japan speedo. "Gou-san! Mika-nee-chan!"

Rin smiled, doubting Momo had the discipline to hold anything back in this race. Not fucking likely.

"So. You're doing it too, now," Sousuke said, his voice low.

"Hmm?" Rin flicked his gaze towards his best friend.

Sousuke still wore an open, easy expression, but that was only a façade. His eyes were a shade darker, slightly narrowed when he spoke. "Holding entire conversations with Nanase without a word. I've only seen Tachibana do that."

"Huh?" Rin frowned. "What're you talking about?"

Sousuke chuckled, but the sound lacked any actual mirth. "And you didn't even notice."

Pff. Rin turned his attention back to the pool, where the swimmers were jumping into the water and climbing up to the holds for the start. "Sousuke, you're imagining things." Haru and I don't do that, it's just him and Makoto…

"Hmph. I'm not the only one who saw it, Rin."

The ready and the start signal were given…

In the first row, Haru was seated between Rei and Makoto. Haru's gaze was intent on the race below, Rei was supervising Nagisa and Nitori against the rail, and Makoto…was looking at Haru. Makoto was smiling in that sweet way he always did and no one who didn't know him would think anything was amiss. But the look in Makoto's eyes…it was like he knew he'd lost something.

Rin sobered fast. Fuck, was Sousuke right? Makoto, it's not like I was trying to…

"Are you still gonna deny it?" Sousuke asked.

"Deny what?" Rin looked over sharply. What the hell are you getting at now?

Sousuke expression had cooled. "That something's going on between the two of you. Especially after the way you pushed him underwater..."

Rin didn't answer, his face hot. He didn't know how to answer that.

"Well." Sousuke smirked. "That's progress at least."

"Momo-chan, fight-o!" Nagisa thrust a hand into the air as the swimmers hit the turn and started back the other way—Momo, in lane four, was leading the charge, a stroke or so ahead of the Japanese swimmer in lane five and the Australian in lane three.

"My advice…"

Not that I fucking want it, but that's not going to stop you from giving it to me, is it?

"Do what you need to do, to get it out of your system before he leaves. You don't want to be pining for two months and then fuck things up in Rio because you can't keep your hands to yourself."

Rin's hands curled in the pockets of his warmup jacket, his entire body stiffening with anger. "Lay off, Sousuke. It's none of your fucking business." Just because you and Kawamura think a quick fuck is another item on your to-do list for the day…

Sousuke rolled his eyes towards the ceiling, his voice nearly swallowed by the sound of cheering as Momo claimed gold down below. "Prude."

Rin slit his eyes. "What did you call me?"

"Guys?" Makoto looked back at them, lips pursed and glancing between the two of them with a concerned expression. "Maybe take that outside?"

Nitori turned from the rail, his brow knit with worry. "…Senpai?"

Rin got himself under control with a breath. "No need. We're done," he said. There was no fucking point continuing to argue about it. He folded his arms.

Beside him, Sousuke sighed.

Makoto watched them for a moment more, then relented, turning forward again.

Haru didn't turn, but by the stiffness in his shoulders, the way he shifted slightly in his seat…Rin wondered how much of that he'd heard.

-x-

A cloudy, rapidly darkening sky waited outside after the races concluded for the evening. Rin slipped the strap of his gear bag onto his shoulder, frowning at his sister and Hana still fawning over Ty and other members of the Australian team.

"I'll make sure the girls get back to your place without company," Sousuke said, trailing him.

"Thanks. I appreciate it," Rin said, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jacket. It was the most they'd said to each other since Momo's race and that was fine. He needed to cool off before reengaging. Though, lately, this was becoming too fucking normal. Us, fighting over Haru. Why the fuck does it matter to you anyways? "See you tomorrow."

"Ah."

Rin walked away, leaving his best friend behind.

"Ah, Senpai—" Nitori caught up with him.

Rin managed a smile for his kouhai, giving Nitori's shoulder a gentle shake. "Ai…look out for him tonight, OK?"

Nitori's face brightened. "Hai, Senpai! You can count on me."

"Thanks. See you in the morning."

"Hai!"

He skirted the Mikoshiba siblings, heading for the Iwatobi alums. Haru was in the center of the little gathering, surrounded by Makoto, Rei, and Nagisa in their Go Team Japan! T-shirts and light jackets. They were all laughing and chatting together like the old friends and teammates they were. Even Haru looked happy and at ease.

Rin's steps slowed. He felt…selfish. Even though it's Haru choice and I'm not making it for him… In some ways it still feels like that…like I'm taking him away from you guys. I'm greedy, aren't I? But I've always been like that with you, Haru.

Nagisa noticed him first, trotting over and grabbing his arm, pulling him into the group. "Rin-chan, do you really have to go? We hardly got to spend any time with you and Haru-chan." He pouted, clinging to Rin's arm, blond hair falling across his forehead.

"Nagisa-kun…" Rei sighed. "We'll be coming back tomorrow."

"Hopefully we can go to lunch with everyone," Makoto said, smiling.

"It should work," Haru said. "There's a few hours between the prelims and finals."

Rin nodded. "Yeah." He didn't say anything else, but managed an easy smile.

Haru glanced at him, reading his face with a flick of blue eyes. There was a slight hardening of Haru's gaze, the look something like, You're not OK.

Rin softened his eyes in reply. No, but I will be.

Haru exhaled, looking unsatisfied but apparently willing to let it go for now.

So Sousuke was right. We are doing that thing. Talking the way I was always jealous of you and Makoto…

"Haruka, Matsuoka…time to go," Takara said from behind them. There was still a bitter edge to her voice.

"We're coming, Takara," Haru said, crossing to Rin's side.

Nagisa loosened his grip on Rin's arm. "…Is that Taka-chan?"

"Eh? Who's asking?" Takara flicked a section of loose black hair over her shoulder.

"Sakamoto-senpai, I'm sorry we missed your race in the 200m free," Makoto said.

Takara's face clouded and she glanced away. "Don't be. I'm glad none of you were here to see it."

Been there, Rin thought, not saying a word.

"Sakamoto-senpai's swimming in the 400 meter individual medley tomorrow," Makoto told the others. "She was just over national record time in the Olympic Trials."

Takara rolled her eyes. "Don't bother trying to cheer me up, Makoto."

Makoto smiled warmly. "I'm just stating facts, Sakamoto-senpai."

Takara's face tensed, like she'd retort. Then she exhaled roughly. "Damnit, Makoto, I hate it when you do that. See you tomorrow." She turned to leave. "Wonder twins—"

"I said we're behind you," Haru said and glanced at Rin.

"Ah." Rin turned, falling in with Haru. They both waved. "'Night."

"Goodnight, you guys," Makoto said. "Get some rest."

"Ne, ne, Mako-chan, do you think that…?" Rin didn't hear the rest of what Nagisa said.

They boarded the bus with their teammates, Rin getting the window seat this time and watching the sunset reflecting off Tokyo buildings and elevated trains as they made their way back to the National Training Center. Haru was quiet beside him, his eyes closed but Rin knew he wasn't sleeping.

By the time they arrived, the sky was dark except for a white halo of clouds surrounding the nearly full moon. They filed off the buses and headed directly for the dining hall, gathering at their usual table.

Momo's overflowing tray was half-desserts. He was his typical exuberant self—and now we're adding sugar? Mikoshiba, beside him, was uncharacteristically sullen, picking at his food.

"You're really letting him eat like that, Seijuurou?" Takara asked, seeming a little more put together after devouring half a plate of pasta.

Mikoshiba sighed, nudging a piece of chicken with his fork. "Do you think I could learn to speak English with an accent, Takara-kun?"

Takara rolled her eyes. "If she's gonna hop into bed with a guy just because he's got a sexy voice, she's not worth your time, sweetie."

"Oi." Rin frowned. "You're talking about my sister."

"Are we?" Takara smiled at him across the table—it wasn't a nice smile, per se. "Then she must be a helpless romantic, completely out of touch with her feelings, and if you aren't the one she's interested in…" She glanced at Mikoshiba. "I wish you luck scraping your ego off the floor, my friend."

"Hey!" Rin's face burned; he glared at her. What the fuck are you trying to say?

"Sakamoto-san," Ikehara said, lowering his tea cup. "We all know you're upset about your race tonight, but keep it above the belt, hmm?"

Takara's cheeks darkened with a blush. "Sorry," she muttered.

Rin pursed his lips, irritated. He finished his food with a few more bites and got up. "See you guys in the morning."

Haru moved to follow.

"Oh, Nanase-kun…" Ikehara said.

"Ah." Haru stayed behind.

Rin dumped his tray and headed for the elevators. A tone played when the car arrived and he got in, breathing a sigh of relief to finally be alone. As the elevator doors slid closed, he leaned back against the far wall. Why the fuck is everyone on me tonight? After qualifying in the 200m free he'd been on top of the world, except for the fact that Haru was leaving. But all the cheap shots since— Don't take it out on me. Just because I made it and you didn't. He didn't want to include Sousuke in that statement, but he did.

There was another chime and the doors slid open…

Rin's eyes widened when he met Haru's startled face. How did you…? Then he realized the car hadn't moved—he was still on the first floor.

"You're hanging out in the elevator, Rin?" Haru asked, getting on and hitting the button for the sixth floor.

"Eh." Rin rubbed the back of his neck. "Guess I forgot to hit the button." That was fucking stupid.

Haru's eyes sharpened with concern, though he didn't comment. The car lurched into motion, carrying them upwards. They got out on the sixth floor and Rin led the way to their room, swiping his keycard to unlock the door. He flicked the lights on as they entered.

"What did Captain Ikehara want?" he asked, dropping his gear bag at the foot of his bed and flopping down on top of the covers, staring at the ceiling.

"He's got a meeting with Coach Fujino," Haru said. Rin listened to Haru's bed creak as he sat down. There was a rustle of fabric, followed by shoes softly hitting the floor, one at a time. "Until 8:30. He won't be back until after."

"…Ah." Rin shifted, glancing at the clock. It was a few minutes before eight. He closed his eyes, grateful for the reprieve, however brief. "Na, Haru—"

Rin was interrupted by a warm body sliding against his in a T-shirt and jammers only, Haru's arm wrapping his waist.

"Hm?" Haru asked, as if cuddling in hadn't completely derailed Rin's train of thought.

"…Let me take my shoes off."

Haru withdrew his arm.

Rin sat up, pulling off his shoes and his warmup jacket, straightening the dark gray T-shirt he wore underneath. Then he laid down on his side, his heart starting to pound as he tucked an arm around Haru, their bodies flush and faces close. Strands of ebony hair shifted across Haru's forehead, above blue eyes that Rin felt searching his face. Rin swallowed, suppressing the urge to look away, letting Haru see the tempest of emotions that had to be swirling in his gaze. There was so much of it—of everything—welling up inside him and he didn't even know where to fucking start—

Haru exhaled, running a hand through Rin's hair…

Rin lost it, burying his face in Haru's throat and clutching fistfuls of his T-shirt. "Haru, I can't fucking do this." I hate feeling like a selfish jackass, but I need you. "Two months."

"That's my line, Rin." Haru's fingers continued to thread through his hair.

Rin drew a ragged breath, lifting his head. "You were so great today. With the Australians. You blew me away."

Haru's face clouded, his expression a little self-conscious. "Because you were there. That's why I thought I could."

Haru. Rin struggled to breathe around the hot lump forming in his throat. He freed one hand to lay against Haru's cheek, watching the skin beneath his fingers redden in a slight blush.

Haru's eyes softened to a disarming look that flooded Rin with warmth. "The way you swam in the 200 meter free…"

Rin sniffed hard. "Because we were racing, idiot." Because I love swimming with you.

Haru smiled, drawing his hand down the side of Rin's face. "I was really happy."

"Haru…"

Haru sighed, closing his eyes and snuggling in. Rin wound his arms tightly around his friend, laying back as the tension slowly leeched from his limbs…

---

Saturday, May 21st, 2016

---

It was before 7am when they disembarked on the curb outside Tatsumi, the morning partly cloudy and temperate. The street was lined with buses, letting off scores of competitors. A few dedicated supporters had gathered to meet them despite the early hour. Rin looked for his sister…

"Yoshino!"

"Chiyo!" Ikehara left them, taking the concrete steps two at a time to join a woman in a black Team Japan T-shirt—official fan gear by the looks of it. A toddler in overalls and a pink shirt clung to her pant leg.

"The captain's family?" Haru watched quietly from Rin's side.

"Looks like it," Rin said.

Ikehara embraced the woman briefly, then picked up the little girl, holding her high overhead. "Mana-chan!"

The little girl squealed happily.

Rin looked away, feeling a brush of old pain.

"Nanase-kun, Matsuoka-kun! Come over here for a sec."

Rin steeled himself, following Haru over to join the small gathering.

Ikehara was beaming, the girl perched on his hip. "I want you guys to meet my family. My wife, Chiyo…"

"It's so nice to finally meet you," Chiyo said, smiling. The wind played with her chin-length chestnut-brown hair. "Yoshino's been talking my ear off about you two."

Really? Rin blinked. Yeah, we've been hanging out since the first training camp, but… Being the topic of dinner conversation at the table of a three-time Olympian was pretty incredible.

Ikehara laughed. "I wish I could say she's exaggerating, but she isn't. And this is Manami."

The chubby-faced toddler studied him and Haru with large brown eyes… "Nn!" Her gaze fastened on Rin. She reached out with short arms, making grabbing motions with her hands.

"Uh…" Rin stared, unsure of what to do…

"Mana-chan." Ikehara chuckled. "You're usually so shy. …Did you want to try holding her?"

Rin rubbed the back of his neck with one hand. "I don't really know how to—"

"Can I?" Haru asked.

"Sure." Ikehara passed the child over.

Haru settled the girl on his hip like a pro. "Hello, Manami. My name is Haruka."

The girl stared back at him, her face framed by wisps of brown curls. "Har…ka?"

Haru nodded.

"You know what you're doing," Rin murmured.

"I helped Makoto with Ran and Ren a lot, growing up."

Oh.

"And this is Rin," Haru said, shifting the girl towards him.

"Rin!" Mana lunged towards him, forcing Haru to step forward. Her tiny hand shot out, grabbing a fistful of Rin's hair.

Rin grunted in surprise.

Chiyo inhaled in a panic. "Mana-chan, don't pull!"

"…She's not," Rin said. The girl was just holding his hair gently.

Mana snuggled against Haru's shoulder, popping her thumb into her mouth—her other hand still grasped Rin's hair. She blinked sleepily, looking content, like she was ready to settle in for a nap.

"I think she likes your hair, Rin," Haru said.

Rin sighed.

"I'm so sorry," Chiyo said, looking embarrassed. "She is tired. I had to wake her up early for the plane this morning."

"It's fine," Rin said. His face warmed a little though. Haru had a bemused look in his eyes. Oh, you're really not helping.

"Rin-chan! Haru-chan!"

Haru glanced behind them, since Rin couldn't turn his head. "It's Nagisa."

Ikehara stepped close, reaching for his daughter. "Alright, Mana-chan. Time to let them go."

Mana popped her thumb from her mouth, releasing Rin's hair. "They have to go?"

"Yup." Ikehara gathered the child into his arms. "You can watch them swim later."

"Okay. Bye-bye!" She waved with both hands. "Har-ka, Rin, bye-bye!"

Rin and Haru waved as Ikehara and his family headed off.

Nagisa got to them first, wearing a faded athletic jacket over his Go Team Japan! T-shirt and jeans. "That was…"

"Ikehara Yoshino," Rei said, adjusting his glasses. "Four-time Olympic medalist."

Hana was right up with him, brushing aside a lock of tawny colored hair that had escaped her up-do. "He's team captain, right? Gosh, his family's so cute!" She covered her mouth with one hand. "Gou, just imagine being married to all that muscle!"

"Cut it out, Hana-chan," Gou said, blushing. But she did have her pearl pink camera in hand and ready.

Nagisa grinned. "Ne, Mako-chan. Didn't Haru-chan and Rin-chan look cute holding the baby?"

Rin's face heated. "Oi, Nagisa—"

Before Makoto could reply, the Mikoshiba siblings appeared with Sousuke and Nitori.

"Good morning, everyone!" Mikoshiba said, his arm slung around his sister's shoulders. They were very nearly the same height.

"Gou-san!" Momo bounded up to Rin's sister.

"So many people," Haru muttered, edging away.

Makoto smiled. "We should let you guys get to your warm ups, right?"

"Aww…" Nagisa clung to one of Haru's arms.

It took a few minutes to extract themselves, but they were finally able to slip away, leaving Mikoshiba and Momo to follow them later.

They checked in at registration and headed down the hall towards the locker room.

"You don't like kids, Rin?" Haru asked.

Rin pressed his lips. It's not that. "I just…" He trailed off, going quiet. Maybe it is. Kids just weigh you down, drown your dreams. At least, that's what I always thought. He thought back, though, to Ikehara, smiling and embracing his family—a life that seemed like nothing was lacking, like no dreams had to be sacrificed. I don't get it. How you can do all that. When my dad…didn't. He didn't end up saying anything else and Haru didn't press him.

-x-

Rin's races that morning were the 50m fly and the 100m free. The warmup pool was full-on chaos as usual, but once the programs started, things calmed down a little. Rin stayed down below between races, hanging out in the hall with his earbuds in and his eyes closed. He had texts from both his mom and Lori, congratulating him on the race last night and wishing him luck for today.

[Every time you race with Haru, it's like magic,] Lori wrote. [Russell and I can't wait to see you guys compete in Rio.]

[Thanks, Lori,] he'd written back.

Rin felt a little drained. Yesterday had been so emotional—the highs so high and the lows so low. It felt good to withdraw into himself for a few moments. Haru was with him, quiet and radiating his usual calm. They were standing close enough against the wall that their arms brushed when one of them shifted. Rin was grateful that words were so often unnecessary with Haru. That you're content to coexist with things that aren't perfect…aren't fixed. You're teaching me how to let things be.

After Ethan smoked everyone in the prelims for the 100m free, they went out to lunch in a huge pack, nearly filling one of the restaurants near the stadium. Rin ended up sitting between Rei and Nagisa, across from Makoto and Haru. Gou and Hana were flanked by the Mikoshiba brothers at another table, joined by Mikoshiba's sister, Sousuke, Nitori, and Takara.

"Your form in the 50 meter butterfly was particularly beautiful today, Rin-senpai," Rei said, lowering his chopsticks and resting them just so on the chopstick holder. "Even for such a short sprint, your movements were precise—utterly exquisite." His eyes glowed behind his glasses.

"Hmph, glad you thought so," Rin said, finishing off his soup with one last swallow. "What about you, Rei? You haven't given up on swimming, right?"

"Rei-chan and I joined the team at school," Nagisa said. "We'll make the first years' relay team if Rei improves his time a little."

Rei drew himself straight. "I've done the calculations. It should be possible for me to achieve the appropriate time one week prior to the final time trial, as long as I stick to the prescribed regimen."

Rin smiled. "Make sure you get enough rest. That's important too."

"Of course! I have rest periods factored in, to the minute."

Naturally.

"And your keeping up with your studies as well, right?" Makoto asked.

"Ahhh, Mako-chan." Nagisa pouted, leaning his head on Rin's right shoulder. "Physics is so hard."

"It's all perfectly logical, Nagisa-kun," Rei said. "If you'd just memorize the laws and formulas…"

Nagisa made a whining noise. "But I don't wanna. Why can't I be like Rin-chan and not have to go to school?"

Rin sighed.

"You have to be disciplined, Nagisa," Haru said, lifting his rice bowl. "Even more than at school."

"…It's not like I'll be swimming forever," Rin murmured, setting his empty soup cup on the table. My goal is to go to three or four Olympics like Ikehara and Sugiyama, but… He felt Haru's gaze.

"Oh, have you decided on a future career goal?" Makoto asked, his friendly smile evident in his voice.

"Not really." He lifted his water cup. "Though I'll probably stay on at Koutei, at least for the near term."

Nagisa raised his head. "You mean you're not going back to Australia after Rio's over?"

Across from him, Haru paused, his chopsticks lifting a small portion of rice.

"Nah." Rin drank. There's too much here for me, now.

Haru was looking away when Rin lowered his cup, but the quiet pleasure in blue eyes was obvious.

-x-

…In the finals that evening, Rin eked out a gold against Dillon Lee in the 50m fly. The 100m free went to the Team Australia captain, undercutting both Rin and Haru by more than a second. Rin took silver and Haru, bronze. Mikoshiba and Takara each won gold in their respective 400m IM events. Momo and Mikoshiba tied in the 200m backstroke for bronze, behind the Australian swimmer, while Captain Ikehara took silver in the 50m breaststroke.

---

Sunday, May 22nd, 2016

---

Rin woke before his alarm, sitting up in bed and stretching. One bed over, Haru was still asleep. If today was anything like the previous two days, Haru would sleep in until the very last second. You'd get up earlier if there was a bath nearby.

Ikehara was awake, sitting on the edge of his bed already dressed in his warmups, a clipboard in hand as he went about his captainly duties.

Rin climbed out of bed, running a hand through his hair as he grabbed his gear bag and started going through his normal pre-comp routine.

"Matsuoka."

"Hmm?" He paused, glancing over at his captain.

Ikehara lowered the clipboard. "You saw the start lists, right?"

Rin sobered. "Yeah."

Ikehara nodded. "Good luck today." He went back to checking his paperwork.

"Thanks." Rin grabbed his toiletries bag, heading for the bathroom. Per Coach Fujino's instructions, neither of his races today should've mattered—his spots in the 50m free and the 100m fly were already assured. The fact that one slot in the 100m fly was up for grabs wasn't directly the issue, either. But Sugiyama had decided to enter, meaning…the fly leg of the medley's at stake tonight.

-x-

The day was unseasonably warm with mostly clear skies and a fair bit of wind. Rin's races were back-to-back, the 50m free with Haru, Ethan, and Ty…and the 100m fly with Sugiyama, Dillon, and Kawamura.

Ethan had top seed in the 50m free, the 7 heats dotted with competitors from all of the participating nations. The Australians had several of the top spots, with six swimmers in the event. By draw, Rin was in the 6th heat and Haru was in the 5th. Ty was swimming in the 7th heat, alongside Ethan, in lanes 5 and 4, respectively. Rin waited in the ready room, music blaring from his earbuds. It bothered him to aim for a time that was merely good, but he had to conserve for the fly race next.

While the third heat was swimming and the fourth heat was walking out, the fifth heat was lining up. Haru stripped off his warmups, donning his swim cap and goggles.

Rin shut off his music. "Haru." They bumped fists, but Rin caught his friend's hand, briefly, before Haru pulled away. You've got this one for both of us, today.

Haru's gaze warmed. He nodded, squeezing Rin's fingers before heading out.

The third heat concluded, the fourth heat took the blocks, and Rin got ready, peeling off his warmups. The fourth heat had just finished when he high-fived Ty and Ethan and got in line, snapping the strap of his goggles before slipping his Team Japan swim cap over top. Onscreen, he watched Haru take the blocks for the fifth heat.

They walked out after the buzzer for the start, Rin catching the end of Haru's dive and the underwater phase. He stood behind the lane four block with his goggles on his forehead, holding his breath as Haru surfaced, charging down the length of the lane—

Haru took one breath and slapped the wall at the finish for 22 seconds, even, winning his heat. He was breathing hard but didn't look exhausted.

Rin grinned as he took the blocks for the sixth heat, locking eyes with Haru once before he bent into his starting position—

Rin allowed himself a costly extra breath, finishing second in his heat with a time of 22.75. It put him in third place overall, going into the seventh heat.

Climbing out of the pool, Rin headed for the ready room. Haru was waiting, a towel slung around his shoulders.

Rin clasped his friend in a quick embrace. "One breath in the fifty." He grinned, squeezing Haru's shoulder.

"Yeah." Haru looked pleased.

They watched the seventh heat on the screen as Ethan put up 21.80 on one breath and Ty came in shortly thereafter at 22.16.

"I bet neither of them breathe in the final," Rin murmured.

"Hmm."

Rin glanced sidelong at his friend. "Haru, don't you dare."

Haru smirked with his eyes, catching Rin's fingers for half a second as he headed off. "I'll watch from upstairs."

Rin watched him go, exhaling and smiling to himself.

-x-

Rin passed the women's 100m fly heats with more music and a sports drink. The only good thing, going into the men's 100m fly heats, was that he'd know, early on, what he was up against. Sugiyama was swimming in the third heat (of seven) in lane five. Rin had top seed in the seventh heat, Dillon was in the sixth heat, and Kawamura was in the fifth.

Sugiyama was the defending national record holder with a time of 50.76 from the Olympic Trials prior to Beijing in 2008. Somehow the guy had choked when it came time to swim the actual event, not even making the podium. If Rin really wanted to know what happened, he could've asked Ikehara… Maybe someday. For now, it was much easier just being competitors and not knowing anything. Sugiyama, on the other side of the ready room, was swinging his arms, wireless earbuds tucked into his ears.

As the men's heats started, Rin turned off his music. The first two heats passed uneventfully, the best swimmer not even breaking 54 seconds. After the third heat walked out, Rin moved towards the screen, listening to the cheering and watching Sugiyama mount the block on lane five in black Team Japan jammers slashed with red.

"Take your marks."

The starter sounded— Sugiyama's form was flawless from the moment his feet left the block. Strong dolphin kicks beneath the surface had him surging ahead into an early lead… But that was nothing compared to the raw power coupled with mechanically perfect strokes of butterfly that followed from the fifteen meter mark. An icy feeling spread through Rin's stomach as he watched. He'd seen Sugiyama swim fly before—countless times. This was different—you weren't showing all your cards even then. Tension climbed up Rin's back, spreading across and running down his arms to his fingertips. He turned from the screen and walked a few steps away, taking deep breaths. He couldn't afford to get stressed out now. Don't freak out. Keep it together, stay loose… But no matter how many times he repeated those words to himself, it didn't seem to help.

You need to relax, Rin… Haru's voice echoed in his ears, from his memories.

Rin closed his eyes, running his fingertips down the vertebrae along the back of his neck, remembering Haru's touch, Haru's hands working the knots from his muscles. He thought of the happy look in Haru's eyes, afterwards, when you said those words I won't ever forget…

I'd never ask you to give up your dream, Rin.

Rin exhaled, his eyes still closed, feeling his shoulders start to unwind. His dream was safe with Haru. Until you said that, I didn't know how much I needed to hear it. …Like I've been searching for a long time, but I wasn't even aware—

Rin flinched at the announcer's voice: "The swimmer in lane five, Sugiyama Noboru, Team Japan, has set a new national record—50.72 seconds." Loud cheering followed.

…But that flinch was all. He was still thinking of Haru when he rolled his shoulders and stretched, working the tension out, one limb at a time. It wasn't like the fear was gone when he opened his eyes and started peeling off his warmups, but he felt a lot calmer.

The seventh heat walked out as the sixth heat was finishing. Rin settled his goggles into place as Dillon slapped the wall at 51 seconds and change, taking the second spot overall, so far. As Dillon's heat cleared the pool, the cheering started up again. Rin heard his name shouted by several people. He adjusted the start block and looked up to the stands, searching for one and only one face... Haru wasn't with the Iwatobi and Samezuka alums on the left side of the arena, he was over on the right hand side, standing next to Captain Ikehara at the rail with their coaches and the rest of Team Japan. Even from this distance, Rin could read the quiet confidence in Haru's gaze.

His heart settled as he propped one foot on the start block on lane four, waiting for the long whistle… Fifty meters of glassy water spread out in front of him. Rin smiled, eager, hopping up and dropping into position…

"Take your marks."

At the buzzer, he leapt forward—

Rin slapped the wall at the end of 100 meters, knowing he'd just delivered a personal best. He took his time pulling off his cap and goggles, drawing a deep breath before he lifted his eyes to the board. 50.89. Rin grinned, slamming one fist into the water. Striking distance—it was a time he could be happy about.

He climbed from the pool, unable to help but notice the difference. The last time we went head to head, I fucking cracked. This time… Rin lifted his gaze to the stands, finding Haru again. The smile they shared…he was pretty sure Haru was thinking the same thing.

In the ready room, Rin dried off, gathering his gear. After a two-second rinse-off shower, he donned his warmups and headed up into the stands. The women's 200m breaststroke heats were going on when he joined his teammates, accepting slaps on the back and high fives from several of the others.

Assistant Coach Maekawa swatted his arm. "Well done, Matsuoka."

"Thanks." Rin grinned, slipping past her to the rail.

Haru was waiting with unmistakable warmth in blue eyes; Takara was beside him.

Rin slid his arms around Haru's shoulders from behind, loving it when Haru reached up to grasp his elbow. The glance they shared was charged, tender, and significant, all at once. There was a faint, happy blush in Haru's cheeks when he turned forward again, returning his attention to the race below.

"Matsuoka." Takara flicked hair behind her shoulder as she looked at him. "Nicely done."

"You too," he said, referencing her top finish in the women's 200m IM, the first race of the day.

She smiled and went back to cheering. "Yumi-chan!"

It was the fourth heat (of five) in the women's 200m breaststroke.

"Nine heats in the men's, right?" Rin asked.

Haru nodded. "Captain Ikehara's in the ninth heat."

"Guess we'll be here for a while then." I don't plan on moving.

"Yeah." Rin could hear the smile in Haru's eyes.

They stayed just like that and Rin didn't give a fuck who might be watching. Haru didn't seem to mind either.

-x-

After Ikehara rocked the prelims for the men's 200m breaststroke, Rin and Haru joined their friends for lunch. Sousuke was notably absent from the group…but a quick glance located him heading off with Kawamura and a few in Todai blue and yellow.

"Senpai." Nitori caught up with Rin as they headed down the concrete steps leading out of the stadium. "Yamazaki-senpai said to tell you he'd catch up later."

"Yeah." Rin ruffled the guy's hair. "Don't worry about it. I know." He smiled. "What time does your plane leave?"

"6pm." Nitori's lips pursed. "I promise I'll watch Senpai's races at the airport."

"Thanks. Your support means a lot, Ai."

Nitori's aquamarine eyes widened, his entire face glowing with delight. "Hai!"

…They said goodbye at Shin-Kiba station after lunch, with Makoto planning to shepherd the Iwatobi and Samezuka alums to Haneda to catch their plane.

"Onii-chan!" Gou squeezed him in a tight hug. "Good luck out there. Take lots of pictures, OK? Safe travels and all."

"You sound like Mom," Rin said, stroking her hair.

"I do not!"

Rin chuckled, pressing a kiss to his sister's forehead. "I'll be careful. Take care of things here—and Mom, OK?"

"I will." Gou giggled as she let go. "Onii-chan, you're being so affectionate."

Rin's brow twitched. I am not.

"Haru-chan!" Nagisa attached himself to Haru's waist, wailing. "I can't believe you're leaving!"

"Nagisa, it's not forever," Makoto said.

"But you're not coming home for three months."

Rin saw Haru stiffen.

"Nagisa-kun, we talked about this," Rei said, his voice gentle. "We're not supposed to—"

"It's OK," Haru said. "I…" He paused, drawing a breath. "I can't believe I'm doing this either. …But it's my dream and it's important to me, so I'm going to."

Haru…

Haru's expression softened. "Thanks for coming to see us off."

His words hung in the air for a moment.

Nagisa's face crumpled. "Haru-chan!" He sobbed against Haru's chest.

Rei lost it too. "Haruka-senpai!" He wrapped long arms around them both.

Then Makoto sniffled, joining the hug.

Rin held back, not about to interfere…until Nagisa's hand flashed out, grabbing his arm and pulling him in.

"Rin-chan!"

"Oi—" He ended up pressed against Haru, surrounded by their friends. He quickly lost track of who was hugging him, who was crying on him— You guys. Rin smiled, warmth gathering in his throat. I'll miss you, too.

Rin caught a flash of orange hair out of the corner of his eye. Momo… The kid bounced up to Gou.

"Gou-san! I'll bring you back a Brazilian stag beetle!"

Gou shied away, laughing uneasily. "Momo-kun…"

Momo's older sister, Mikan, appeared and hooked an arm around Momo's neck, dragging the kid away in a headlock. "Momotarou! Give your sister a hug!"

"Mika-nee-channnn…" Momo made a face, struggling in vain against his sister's grip.

While Momo was otherwise occupied, Mikoshiba slipped in to talk to Gou. Rin's brow twitched. Since I'm conveniently trapped here…

Mikoshiba rubbed the back of his neck, looking atypically sheepish. "Eh, Gou-kun… Is it OK if I send you a postcard or an email sometime?"

"Oh." Gou blushed faintly. "Yeah. …That's OK."

Mikoshiba blinked in disbelief. "Really?" He brightened.

Gou stepped forward, giving the guy a three-second hug. "Take care of my brother and Haruka-senpai for me, OK?"

Rin's eyes widened, his brows climbing his forehead.

"Y-yeah," Mikoshiba said, sputtering. "Of-of course." His cheeks flushed pink.

Gou whirled and scampered away, joining Hana. The two of them were instantly conferencing, their heads close together.

"Gou, I can't believe you actually—"

"Hana, shut up." She cleared her throat. "Mika-senpai, we'd better go…"

Mikan stopped grinding her knuckles into the top of Momo's head. "Coming!"

Makoto took that cue to withdraw from the Iwatobi group hug. "Nagisa, Rei, it's about that time…"

Rei stepped back, cleaning his glasses as he composed himself. Nagisa reluctantly let go, brushing the tear streaks away. He rested his forehead against Rei's back, sniffling.

Makoto smiled gently. "I'll be back before your finals tonight, I hope."

Haru nodded. "Thanks, Makoto."

Rin and the other Olympians waved as the Iwatobi alums and Mikoshiba's sister headed off towards the station entrance. They kept waving until their friends disappeared inside.

Rin caught Mikoshiba looking at him warily and lifted a brow. "Hm?"

Mikoshiba cleared his throat. "Er. You're not gonna hit me or something?"

"Nah." Rin shoved his hands into the pockets of his warmup jacket. "I'm pretty sure she was just feeling up your traps. I wouldn't get your hopes up."

The guy smiled, not looking disappointed at all.

Momo peered suspiciously at his brother. "Nii-chan, what're you talking about?"

"Haha! Nothing, little brother!" Mikoshiba slung an arm around the kid's shoulders. "Are you ready for your race in the fifty?" They started off towards the stadium.

Rin lingered behind with Haru, waiting without saying a word. They had time. It was a few minutes more before Haru finally turned away. Rin caught a glimpse of liquid eyes and reddened cheeks before Haru leaned against him with a sigh. Rin drew an arm around Haru's shoulders, squeezing gently as they slowly made their way back…

-x-

The A-Finals Sunday night started in the late afternoon. Takara took gold in the first event—the women's 200m IM. A few races later, Momo was pouting on the podium with a silver in the men's 50m backstroke; the Australian swimmer took gold.

The men's final in the 50m free was at 4:45pm. The announcer's voice blared from the speakers, over the music and cheering as the ten competitors walked out to take their positions on the opposite end of the pool. "…In lane three, Ty Bingham, Team Australia. In lane four, Ethan McInnes, Team Australia. In lane five, Nanase Haruka, Team Japan. In lane six, Matsuoka Rin, Team Japan. In lane seven…"

Rin shucked off his warmups into the bin, pressing his goggles into place and smoothing his swim cap.

"Well, Haruka. You ready, mate?" Ethan asked, two lanes over.

"Yes, thank you," Haru said, straightening after adjusting the block on his lane. "Good luck to you."

Ethan grinned. "You too."

Rin glanced at his friend fondly, though he paused at the glint of mischief in Haru's gaze. "Haru."

"Don't worry, Rin." Haru lowered his goggles into position. "I don't need to do something stupid to be fast."

Rin relaxed. The four-pulse whistle sent them to the blocks…

At the long whistle, Rin stepped up, drawing a breath and centering himself, hearing the loud cheers from the stands.

"Take your marks."

He gripped the block, tense in the silence—

The start sounded and Rin dove, slipping into the cool water. He dolphin kicked smoothly, feeling Haru already starting to pull away, beside him. Rin curbed his competitive instincts, holding back even though it was damn hard to do, swimming next to Haru. He wasn't that far behind when they surfaced, Rin coming up to a sprint that was slightly less than his maximum. He lost ground to Haru with the first breath at twenty-five meters and the second breath at forty meters. But he still kicked it up for the finish, stretching out for the wall—

Loud cheering and excited screaming met them at the finish.

"The swimmer in lane five, Nanase Haruka, Team Japan, has set a new national record, at 21.66 seconds."

Rin tugged his goggles down to his throat, glancing at the board as he swam towards Haru's lane.

1 – Heat 1, Lane 4 – McINNES Ethan – AUS – 21.59

2 – Heat 1, Lane 5 – NANASE Haruka – JPN – 21.66 NR

3 – Heat 1, Lane 3 – BINGHAM Ty – AUS – 21.91

4 – Heat 1, Lane 6 – MATSUOKA Rin – JPN – 22.45

Rin grinned, ducking under the lane line and hugging his friend. "Haru—"

Haru didn't say anything as he caught his breath, but his eyes were pleased when he pulled off his goggles.

"Haruka!" Ethan grinned ear-to-ear, draped over the line between lanes four and five and extending his hand. "That was fantastic! Let's do that again in Rio!"

Rin let go, so Haru could greet the Australian with a handshake over the line.

"Thank you," Haru said. "I will look forward to it."

Rin watched, bursting with pride. He didn't even care that he'd missed the podium.

They climbed out soon after, Rin grabbing his stuff and watching from the ready room entrance as Haru was interviewed and photographed with the Australians after receiving the silver medal.

"Haruka!" "Nanase-kun!"

"Haru!" Makoto had made it back in time, apparently.

Haru waved before he stepped down and walked towards the ready room, flanked by the Australians. Ethan and Ty were laughing, English flying back and forth. Haru looked happy—bright and challenged and satisfied, despite that he likely wasn't following the conversation.

You're incredible, Haru. Rin felt breathless and warm, a lump forming in his throat that was some emotion he couldn't quite put a name to. Maybe admiration? It was…but there was more, too. Rin waited, his heart starting to race as their eyes met—

Haru left the Australians, enfolding Rin in an embrace that was startling enough. Haru's hugging me? But Rin's brain checked out when Haru's lips touched his cheek.

"Good race, Rin."

Rin flushed hard.

Haru kept it brief, drawing back with a faint smile. "You got this."

He relaxed. "Yeah." They bumped fists and Haru left.

Rin moved to the edge of the room as the women lined up for the 100m fly. He grabbed a cup of water while the men gathered—Sugiyama, Kawamura, Dillon Lee, and another from the Australian team. Rin drained the cup in quick swallows, his face still burning where Haru had kissed him. But he wasn't nervous like he should've been.

After the women's race was complete, Rin lined up behind Sugiyama. The guy hadn't said a word to him or anyone else. He was completely focused; untouchable. No wonder he had an edge, when he could shut out the world like that. It was different from Haru's sense of calm, though. Sugiyama was like a steel fortress, cold and emotionless.

There was a blast of music. "…Next up, program 90. Men's 100 meter butterfly, final."

Rin followed the guy out and took his spot on lane five. Sugiyama had lane four. Dillon was in lane three and Kawamura was in lane two.

"Matsuoka-kun!" "Sugiyama-senpai!" "Kawamura-kun!"

"Rin!" Makoto's voice came from the left hand side of the stadium. He was sitting with Sousuke. Haru was over on the right side with the Mikoshiba brothers, Takara, and the rest of Team Japan.

Rin smiled as he peeled off his warmups and adjusted the starting block.

The whistle sounded. Rin approached the blocks, moving his goggles into place. He set one foot on the block, drawing a deep breath as he looked down at the shimmering water, the turn officials waiting at the far end. Fifty meters down, fifty meters back. Let's do this. He grinned as he climbed up at the whistle and took the starting position.

"Take your marks."

The stadium went quiet for the start. At the buzzer, Rin launched forward, piercing the water fingertips first and starting his dolphin kicks. He pulled ahead underwater, but knew Sugiyama would catch up once they went to stroke. He surfaced first, switching to the rapid fly that Rei called beautiful. He felt good—limber from his previous race but not tired. When Sugiyama caught up with him, Rin turned it up, keeping pace at Sugiyama's shoulder and conserving what he could for the sprint on the back half.

Sugiyama hit the open turn first, but Rin was right behind him, slipping underwater and making up the difference. They came up neck-in-neck—

Rin built his speed, hitting all-out at the halfway point and taking the lead briefly. But Sugiyama wasn't far behind. When the guy kicked it up for the last fifteen and surged ahead, Rin didn't let him get away, pushing it and making his rival work for every centimeter of that lead—

With a final burst of speed, Rin stretched for the finish and slammed his hands home.

"The swimmer in lane four, Sugiyama Noboru, Team Japan, has set a new national record, at 50.54 seconds."

Rin twisted around, breathing hard as he yanked his goggles down and looked at the board—

1 – Heat 1, Lane 4 – SUGIYAMA Noboru – JPN – 50.54 NR

2 – Heat 1, Lane 5 – MATSUOKA Rin – JPN – 50.59

I did it. Rin's eyes watered as he caught his breath. I really fucking did it. A whole second off my time in the fly. He peeled off his swim cap and thrust his fist into the air. "Yes!" It felt like gold.

"Sugiyama-senpai!" "Matsuoka!"

Rin followed the rest of the swimmers to the side of the pool and climbed out. Staff members led him to the sponsors' wall to be interviewed.

Sugiyama went first, brushing one hand through his close-cropped black hair as the reporter asked the first question.

"Sugiyama-kun, congratulations on beating your own national record time twice in one day," she said. "Previously, you stated you did not plan to participate in any individual events in Rio. Have you changed your mind?"

"I'll be discussing that with the coaches and taking my time to decide," Sugiyama said.

The reporter nodded, withdrawing the microphone. "What about rumors that you plan to retire this year after Rio? Can you tell us anything about that?"

"No, I can't." Sugiyama's face smoothed. "Certain rivals of mine would love to see me leave the sport. I have nothing to say to them; my times speak for themselves."

The reported smiled politely. "V-very good, Sugiyama-kun. Congratulations again."

Sugiyama nodded, stepping down from the wall. The guy's eyes were cool when their gazes met briefly.

Rin was next. He stepped up, planting a hand on his hip and smiling for the camera.

"Matsuoka-kun, you were celebrating out there like you just won gold, not silver. Can you tell us what that was about?" The reporter extended the microphone.

"I feel incredible," Rin said. "Since our first day of Team Japan training camp, it was my goal to drop a second off my time in the 100 meter fly. It was hard work and, honestly, I hit a lot of setbacks along the way. I owe it to a good friend of mine who opened my eyes and helped me break through. I'm really happy right now. So, yeah, it feels like I won it all."

The reporter smiled with obvious relief as she took back the microphone. "Well, Matsuoka-kun, it's safe to say your team is celebrating with you. Congratulations and good luck abroad."

"Thanks!" Rin grinned.

"Matsuoka!"

"Rin-senpai!" Momo's voice was crazy loud.

Rin chuckled, waving as he made his way to the podium with a stop off to grab his warmups and get dressed.

The silver medal felt good around his neck. He posed for the pictures, smiling like an idiot.

As they headed back to the ready room, Rin caught up with the gold medalist. "Good race, Sugiyama-senpai."

Sugiyama paused, giving him a dispassionate look. "Don't let one close race go to your head, Matsuoka. When we're out there and your…friend…isn't there to hold your hand…" The guy's eyes narrowed slightly. "Then we'll see if you really have what it takes."

"Ah. I'm looking forward to finding out, as well," Rin said. I'm not letting you intimidate me this time. Whatever you're bitter about—it has nothing to do with me.

Sugiyama gaze darkened.

"Sugiyama-senpai." Captain Ikehara entered the ready room, joining them ahead of the men's 200m breaststroke that would finish out the competition. "Congratulations on your national record."

Sugiyama exhaled, his expression falling back to cool and detached. "Ah. Good luck, Ikehara."

"Thank you," Ikehara said, smiling as Sugiyama headed off towards the locker rooms. "Congratulations to you, too, Matsuoka. For meeting your goal." He gave Rin a warm, knowing look.

"Thanks!" Rin grinned.

-x-

Rin and Haru wore their matching silver medals as they left the stands after watching Captain Ikehara's gold medal race.

Takara was getting a piggy back ride from Mikoshiba ahead of them, her loose black hair swinging as she held her gold medal from the 200 IM up high. "Karaoke tonight!"

Rin cocked a brow. "We're going back to the NTC. We still have curfew."

"Takara has her own machine," Haru said.

Oh, fucking fantastic. "You'd think she'd be better at the English in that case."

"I heard that, Matsuoka." Takara twisted around just far enough to glare at him. "It's on, honey. Best of three—all English songs!"

Rin snorted. "If you're in the mood to get trounced, Sakamoto. What's the prize this time?"

Takara smirked, glancing at Haru.

Haru met her gaze. "We could skip all the singing and I'll just kiss him now. That would be faster."

Rin's face warmed. Does it count as one of the five if it's a bet?

Takara grinned, sliding down from Mikoshiba's back. "Until recently, I never would've guessed you had a sassy side, Haruka." She lowered her voice to a purr, coming over and slipping an arm around Haru's neck. "I like it. It's really sexy."

Rin inhaled—

Haru batted her arm away. "Save it, Takara."

Takara chuckled and backed off. "For later, you mean?"

Haru rolled his eyes. "Or never."

Mikoshiba laughed. "Good one, Nanase." At his side, Momo was wide-eyed, watching.

They emerged from the sloped corridor into a hall; Makoto and Sousuke were waiting along with other supporters and fans.

"Haru, Rin, congrats!" Makoto waved at them.

Before he or Haru could respond, Takara slipped through the crowd of people. "Sousuke!"

Sousuke was leaning against the wall in his Go Team Japan! T-shirt and designer jeans, his hands tucked into his pockets. He didn't move to greet Takara, just gave her a mild look that had her skidding to a stop, outside of arm's reach.

Takara's face shuttered in a heartbeat. She halted her advance and spun away, moving off without a word.

What the fuck was that about? Rin frowned and he wasn't the only one who reacted. Makoto's face clouded with concern, Haru went still.

Rin looked at his best friend…

Sousuke's smile belied the fury simmering in his emerald eyes. "Rin, can we talk for a sec? …Outside maybe?"

Rin shoved his hands into the pockets of his warmup jacket. "Yeah. Sure."

He left the rest of his team, following Sousuke down an adjacent corridor…

-x-

It was sunny and clear outside, early evening, and warm enough that Rin shed his warmup jacket, tying it around his waist. He wore one of his team-issued T-shirts beneath, a steel gray V-neck with the JOC logo and slashes of white. They were on the south side of the stadium, near the service exits and loading dock.

Sousuke had dropped the false smile as soon as they were alone; Rin stood a few paces away, taking in his best friend's taut muscles, the tense cords in his neck.

"Rin, what the fuck was that?" Sousuke's voice was low, rage barely held at bay.

We're not doing this, Sousuke. Rin kept his tone calm. "What are you talking about?"

"You." Angry green eyes fastened on him, accusing. "Throwing the fifty free."

He felt it like a gut punch, felt the retort rising. Rin stuffed it down. "I didn't."

"The hell you didn't!" Sousuke's voice rose slightly. "Swimming like you didn't fucking care."

Rin exhaled carefully. "The fly was more important."

Sousuke's eyes narrowed, his large hands curling into fists at his sides. "You never used to be like this. Every race was important to you. You gave it your all every time. But now…" Sousuke's face darkened. "Now, you're being flighty and fickle. That's not you, Rin. That's him." His voice was colored with pure derision.

Rin stiffened with anger. He shoved his hands into the pockets of his warmup pants to keep from doing something stupid. "Sousuke…"

"You could've had gold in the free and shown everyone how amazing you are." Sousuke took a step forward, his voice rising steadily in volume. "Instead, you gave away the podium and settled for a silver in the fly… All because you're still hung up on the fucking relay!"

It was like a slap in the face and Rin's breath seethed through his teeth. His hands coiled tightly in his pockets; he quivered with angry hurt, wanting to let Sousuke have it— But he caught himself after one step, the wind running through their hair, rustling their T-shirts. I can't. He stared at the Japanese flag on Sousuke's T-shirt. I'm in uniform; I'm representing Japan. Rin shook himself hard, drawing a slow breath. "Calm down. I'm not getting into this shit with you right now."

Sousuke flinched with realization. He went silent, his jaw grinding as he backed down. When he next spoke, his voice was controlled. "You're going to regret it. If you come home from Rio with nothing because you were too stubborn—"

Rin heard footsteps. "Matsuoka."

Mikoshiba. The guy was using his captain's voice.

"Yeah," Rin said. "I'm coming."

Mikoshiba waited.

Rin lifted his gaze to his best friend. He forced the words out, even though it hurt like hell— "It's not your dream, Sousuke."

Sousuke's face contorted with pain and Rin turned away quickly, a hot ache running through his chest.

"See you later," he said, his voice hoarse as he walked the few steps necessary to join Mikoshiba.

Rin's former captain had his arms folded across his matching gray T-shirt, a stern look in his golden eyes.

Rin exhaled as they rounded the corner of the building, heading towards the others. "…Thanks." He pressed his lips. "I guess you promised my sister, huh?"

Mikoshiba shrugged. "Anyone could've seen that train wreck coming."

Rin sighed. Yeah. You're right.

They joined the rest of their teammates down by the curb, boarding the buses.

Haru was standing off to one side with Makoto, his warmup jacket unzipped over his T-shirt. His eyes fastened onto Rin, cold like arctic waters…but when their gazes met, Haru's face clouded with concern. Rin looked away, swallowing around the lump in his throat. He got in line to get on the bus.

"Haru, text me when you get home tomorrow, OK?" Makoto said.

"I will."

Rin climbed the stairs and headed to the back of the bus, claiming an empty seat and staring out the window with his gear bag in his lap. When Haru sat next to him, Rin didn't move. He couldn't. His eyes burned, his face was probably red and he was going to fucking lose it if he didn't concentrate with everything he had…

We clash a lot. It's not like we've never fought before. Rin looked out at the buildings flashing by and the bright blue sky. He usually wouldn't get this worked up. But lately…this time… I'm not sure if our friendship's gonna make it. The realization was crushing and Rin covered his face with one hand, just trying to breathe and hold it the fuck together—

Haru's hand curled around his, down against the seats.

Rin sucked air through his teeth, adjusting so that he was gripping Haru's hand. Haru squeezed back and Rin shut his eyes tightly, fighting the feelings he didn't want to feel.

-x-

Dinner was subdued—Rin didn't feel like talking and Takara was abnormally quiet also. Captain Ikehara was off with the coaches for another meeting. Of the others, Momo was oblivious to the mood at the table, happily scarfing his food and desserts. Mikoshiba was staring off into the distance, dreamy-eyed, and Haru was just eating.

"Taka-chan!" Yumi, the brunette two-time Olympian stopped by their table, still wearing her gold medal from the women's 200m breaststroke.

"Ah, Yumi…" Takara stretched, looking up at her friend.

"I've got just the thing for that face," Yumi said, and leaned close, lowering her voice. "Koda-kun and I smuggled in a couple of six packs…"

Takara's face lit up. "Yumi! You're a lifesaver." She popped up, grabbing her tray of half-eaten food.

"You brought your karaoke machine, right?"

"You know I did!" The girls wandered off, chatting.

Rin forced himself to choke down most of his food, then pushed his tray away.

"Done?" Haru asked.

"Yeah."

Haru nodded, getting up.

They left Momo sneaking bites of food off his brother's plate.

Ikehara was still at his meeting when they got back to their room. Just inside the door, Rin drew his arms around Haru's shoulders from behind, pressing his face into Haru's hair. Haru.

Haru reached up, grasping his arms lightly, pressing a kiss to his right arm.

Rin sighed raggedly as Haru's calm washed through him, as he slowly started to relax. He tightened the embrace, not willing to let his fight with Sousuke ruin this moment or any other. We don't have much time left before you leave. He kissed Haru below his left ear, on the edge of his jaw, and felt Haru's gentle inhale.

"Makoto's helping you pack tomorrow, right?" Rin asked.

"Yeah. I promised him…"

Rin wasn't about to get in the middle of that. Makoto needed time with Haru, too—time to say goodbye. "What time do you have to leave home on Tuesday?"

Haru paused. "6pm should be good. It's a late flight."

"…How about dinner, early? I'll cook."

Haru turned his head, glancing back over his shoulder. "What time?"

Rin shrugged. "Four? Or whenever you're done with stuff."

Haru drew a breath and Rin knew the mountain of things to do and errands to run before leaving was weighing on Haru's mind. "Yeah. Your place?"

He nodded. "So you don't have to worry about dishes or anything."

Haru's eyes warmed. "OK."

Rin smiled.

Captain Ikehara returned not long after that. The three of them spent the next hour cleaning up their stuff in preparation for checking out in the morning.

Haru packed halfway and then started puttering around on his laptop.

Rin folded his dirty laundry so everything would fit better into his luggage. He took care packing his formal suit into its garment bag.

"Rin, can you make this in your oven?"

He finished what he was doing and came over, sitting on the edge of Haru's bed and peering at the laptop screen.

The picture was vibrant with color—a fillet of mackerel over a bed of roasted potato, tomato, and onion. Haru was using the auto-translate function in his browser; it was a Spanish recipe for baked mackerel.

Rin glanced over the ingredients and prep, the translation awkward in places, but, "Seems straight forward." He cocked a brow. "How'd you find this?"

"I searched for caballa receta."

"Receta?"

"It means recipe in Spanish."

Rin smiled. "Haru, you're really getting good at this."

Haru's eyes warmed with pleasure.

"Send me a copy, so I can get everything tomorrow."

Haru nodded.

Ikehara set his bags down near the door.

Rin looked up, surprised to see their captain dressed in street clothes, as if he were headed out.

"Matsuoka-kun, I'll see you in a few weeks, I guess," the guy said. "Nanase-kun…see you at Narita Tuesday night."

Rin blinked. "You're leaving tonight?"

Ikehara smiled. "I begged and pleaded with Coach Fujino, since my family's in town and we're the first to ship out. Maekawa-sensei is upstairs; she'll make sure things don't get too out of hand." He shouldered his bags, waving as he headed out the door. "Good luck with your comps, Matsuoka."

"Thanks," Rin said. "You too."

"Don't be late on Tuesday, Nanase."

"Ah."

The door closed, leaving them alone…

Rin glanced at the clock, considering… It was just after 8:30pm.

Haru closed his laptop. "We had a long day of competition. It's not too early to go to bed."

"You read my mind," Rin said, getting up and grabbing his stuff for the bathroom.

…Ten minutes later, he was dressed for bed in his tank top and sleep pants, waiting as Haru stripped down to his boxer briefs and then pulled on Rin's shark T-shirt.

Haru paused, glancing at him aside. "Your bed or mine?"

Rin's face warmed. "Yours," he said, grabbing the pillow off his bed.

Haru drew back the covers and climbed into bed, making room. Rin slipped in after, arranging their pillows while Haru killed the lights. They hadn't drawn the blackout curtains, so the room was bathed in moonlight, highlighting the planes of Haru's face and his hair with silver.

Rin laid back, his heart running rapid in his chest as Haru covered them with the blankets and settled beside him. They curled towards each other, their legs tangling from the knees down. Rin's breath caught as Haru's warm fingers threaded into his hair.

"Is this OK?" Haru asked.

"Yeah," Rin said, his face burning. He ducked his head as he slid an arm around Haru's chest, resting his cheek against Haru's collarbone. "…Is this?"

"…Yeah," Haru said, exhaling. His fingers continued to slowly card through Rin's hair.

Rin closed his eyes. It took an abnormally long time to fall asleep…but he savored every moment of having Haru with him.

---

Tuesday, May 24th, 2016

---

Rin was just sliding the baking dish into the oven when the knock sounded at his door. Brushing back a section of hair that had escaped his ponytail, he started the timer and went to let Haru in. It hit him again—in the throat this time—when he saw Haru standing there with his suitcase. Eight fucking weeks—

"…Hey," he managed.

"Hey." Haru was wearing a blue dolphin T-shirt with black pants and red athletic shoes. He carried a messenger bag with a jacket slung over top. His black hair had been freshly trimmed.

"You got a haircut."

Haru pursed his lips, looking self-conscious. "It was getting long."

"…Guess I'd better do that, too," Rin said, standing aside to let him in. "Want help with anything?"

"Nah, it's OK." Haru rolled his suitcase into the entryway, stepping out of his shoes and leaving his stuff in a pile as Rin closed the door.

Rin swallowed, hesitating. There was still more to do for dinner, but… He turned, reaching out—

Haru's eyes widened and went liquid. Suddenly Haru was hugging him tightly, Haru's face pressed into Rin's hair, his fingertips warm through the fabric of Rin's tank top.

Rin closed his eyes against a hot rush of emotion. Haru— He circled Haru with his arms, exhaling in a shudder. He didn't have any words for how much this fucking sucked…

It was a few minutes before they parted.

Rin rubbed the back of his neck. "Can you help with the saba?"

"Yeah," Haru said, his face slightly pink.

They worked side-by-side in the kitchen, in silence, Rin prepping a side salad while Haru deftly filleted the fish Rin had gotten earlier at the fish market. The rice cooker was already going. The apartment slowly filled with the aroma of roasted vegetables and garlic.

When the timer went off for the oven, Rin withdrew the baking dish, adding a cup of white wine per the recipe.

"That's real wine?" Haru asked.

Rin nodded, emptying the tiny bottle. "Mikoshiba agreed to buy it when I told him it was just for cooking." He slid the dish back into the oven and reset the timer. "…I wanted it to be authentic."

Haru's eyes softened.

In short order, Haru had two perfect fillets, seasoning them with salt and ground, white pepper.

Rin grabbed dishes and cutlery. "What do you want to drink? Iced tea?"

"Decaf?"

"Of course."

They added the fillets to the baking dish, getting everything else on the table while the fish cooked. When the final timer went off, they crowded around the oven as Rin pulled the dish out. The fish was opaque, lightly browned and piping hot.

"It smells like food," Haru said.

"Tch. Haru." Rin set the dish on the stove and grabbed a spatula.

They carried their plates to the kotatsu, their places set with small bowls of rice, salad, and glasses of tea.

Rin sat cross-legged on Haru's right, waiting…

"Itadakimasu…" Haru lifted his fork, gathering a bite of fish with bits of roasted potato and onion. He ate, chewing thoughtfully and slowly.

"…Well?"

Haru swallowed and glanced at him warmly. "It's good, Rin."

Rin inhaled, fighting a rush of emotion. He grabbed his fork.

-x-

It was nearing five thirty when they filled the sink with their dishes.

"Just leave it," Rin said. "I'll clean everything later."

Haru nodded.

Rin washed and dried his hands. "You want hot tea? Or…?"

"Bath," Haru said, walking away and already stripping off his T-shirt.

"OK." Rin followed.

-x-

Rin climbed into the tepid water, in his leg skins, scooting forward and making room while Haru settled behind him. His eyes widened as Haru's arms twined around him, drawing him back… But any thought of protest died in his throat when Haru exhaled shakily into his hair, a tremor running through Haru's frame that had nothing to do with desire. Rin covered Haru's arms with his own, letting Haru hug him. All the language prep and reassurances in the world wouldn't make actually leaving any easier. Rin closed his eyes as Haru's arms tightened.

…6pm came way too fucking soon. Rin finished changing in the bathroom, coming out to find Haru already dressed and wearing another one of his T-shirts—this one heather gray with BONDI BEACH in blue lettering down the left side of the chest.

"I'm borrowing this," Haru said as he bagged his damp jammers and packed them away.

"Yeah. Go for it."

Haru carried his messenger bag to the entryway, setting it on top of his suitcase.

A lump formed in Rin's throat as he watched Haru slip his shoes on. Haru— The moment was here—the one he'd been dreading for days now. "Let…let me come to the airport with you," he said, his voice coming out hoarse.

Haru shook his head as he tied his shoes. "No, let's just say goodbye here. I can't…"

I fucking hate goodbyes! Rin gritted his teeth, joining Haru in the entryway, fighting to hold it together. "Text me when you get there. I don't care what time it is."

"I will," Haru said, straightening—

Rin flung his arms around Haru's shoulders, crushing their bodies together.

"Rin…" Haru's voice was ragged, his arms circling Rin's waist and squeezing so tightly that it was hard to breathe.

I can't fucking do this. I can't…I can't let you go—

Rin's mind blanked at the press of Haru's lips against the edge of his jaw, just below his right ear. Haru's arms loosened slightly, one of his hands curling around the back of Rin's neck and tangling into his hair. Rin forgot how to breathe. He slid his hands up until his fingertips were buried in the silky, smooth strands of Haru's hair.

Haru drew back and for a second their eyes met, Haru's breaths warm against Rin's lips. There were a hundred things swimming in the liquid depths of Haru's gaze. He couldn't begin to parse it all…but he saw himself reflected there against the blue—his crumpled face torn by grief and longing.

"Haru—"

The gap between their mouths suddenly vanished and Haru was kissing him… Rin's heart shattered inside him, coming apart like a thousand sakura petals flung to the wind. The kiss was firm—not tentative, not gentle—full of mutual passion with an undercurrent of raw need borne by the pain of their impending separation. It was supposed to be five kisses before it wasn't like they were kids anymore, but Rin knew as he gripped Haru's hair…they'd already crossed that line. What he felt for Haru was no longer childish and innocent, though it wasn't merely lust either. Haru… Rin melted into the kiss, feeling a sigh run through Haru's throat, the pressure softening against his lips as Haru's fingers slid deeper into his hair—

Then Haru let go, drawing back, his hair slipping like silk through Rin's grasp. Rin was breathless, his face hot, his heart pounding… He met Haru's gaze and inhaled at the staggering affection he saw in ocean-blue eyes, soaking in that look like his life depended on it…until Haru's face clouded and he pulled himself from Rin's arms.

Haru turned away without another word. Rin stood there paralyzed, his lips tingling from Haru's kiss, the pain so thick it was hard to catch his breath as Haru gathered his bags and left…

The door closed.

Rin slumped against the wall, listening to Haru's retreating footsteps and the sound his suitcase made, rolling across the floor…until Haru was gone.

Fuck! Rin's eyes burned. He scrubbed a hand over his face in a vain attempt to hold himself together…then gave up, slamming his palm against the wall. Who the fuck cared if he fell apart now? Two months, sixty days…it felt like a lifetime. Rin staggered back into the main room of his apartment, ignoring the sinkful of dishes as he headed for the bed. He yanked the covers back…and went still, seeing blue.

Rin picked up the folded garment—Haru's blue dolphin T-shirt. He sucked air, glancing at the door— You forgot— But before he took one step, he stopped himself. No. Haru hadn't forgotten his favorite T-shirt—not folded and tucked beneath the comforter.

Haru. Rin dropped down onto the bed, clutching the T-shirt in his arms, the scent of the fabric familiar, chlorine and… You knew. He leaned back against the wall as tears slipped from his eyes, tasting the salty droplets and Haru on his lips.