Poppy doesn't hate Lao's mother. Poppy tries not to hate anyone really. Hate is such a strong word really. Perhaps dislike is better. Poppy dislikes how Lao's mother does certain things... like be overbearing...and patronising...and constantly talking to people like they are imbeciles...and referring to Poppy's tapestry making and embroidery as a 'meagre talent'. Poppy especially hates it when Lao's mother presumes to know what is best for Toph.
The woman had been so adamant that Toph should get her feet bound, even though the procedure would have very possibly killed Toph. Poppy won a small victory here. It is the only time she has ever stood up to her mother-in-law. One of the only times she has ever stood up to anyone really.
The one thing Poppy especially hates...no dislikes, is the fact that now that Lao's mother has moved closer, she has started dropping round with very little notice. The note in her hand informs her that she will be graced with a visit from the old bat this afternoon.
Poppy wonders if other women dread a visit from their mother-in-law quite as much as she does.
At first she sends back a polite excuse that advises her mother-in-law that they are currently a house of illness. Though it is only the first week of autumn, there has been a sudden cold snap that has made many of her household staff sick.
Poppy has had Toph put into quarantine in the nursery. None of the sickly staff members are allowed within a five meter radius of her child. Toph's health is so delicate after all. Toph's nanny is remarkably healthy and has not even been afflicted with a slight case of the sniffles, so she is currently tending to all of Toph's needs.
The reply comes back announcing that Lao's mother will come anyway. Lao's mother has always experienced what Poppy refers to as rude good health. The woman is never ill. Possibly she just irritates germs away from her.
There is nothing for it. Poppy must make a show of herself. With all her lady's maids sick – Poppy is forced to ask the Nanny to do her hair. Nanny dresses and adorns Toph for dinner. She is as competent in this area as she is in all others.
Poppy considers the hiring of Nanny to be one of her big achievements in her long running quest to prove herself to her mother-in-law. All of the nannies that Lao's mother recommended were highly unsuitable. One of them even hit Toph for goodness sake! Poppy had chosen this Nanny herself – and this nanny was the one who had succeeded where all of Lao's mother's recommended nannies had failed.
So there.
Nanny comes when she is bidden. She very efficiently piles Poppy's hair on her head in an elaborate fashion. She updates Poppy on how Toph is doing. "She is a little bored madam, but I have set her up doing a geography activity with her rocks and she is quite content with that". Poppy will never say so, because it is vulgar to compliment commoners too much (it goes straight to their heads) but this Nanny had some ingenious ideas when it came to teaching Toph, even despite her condition. The rocks had been a stroke of genius.
The Nanny can tell that Poppy is nervous about Lao's mother. She says a few kind and encouraging things, and suddenly Poppy is telling her all about how she doesn't hate Lao's mother, she just dislikes her, and meagre talents and footbinding and do other women feel this same dread? Nanny laughs in a way that makes Poppy feel like she has made a clever joke. Nanny says that all women have a complicated relationship with their mother-in-law.
Poppy confesses that she knows Lao's mother doesn't think she is good enough for Lao – but they have been married so long now, you'd think the old bat would have gotten used to it by now and would have stopped berating Poppy at every turn. Nanny gives the pins a final adjustment and then she does the oddest thing. She lifts Poppy's chin gently with a warm hand (it is so warm even though the weather is so cold) and tells her to take courage. This visit will be over soon. Her mother-in-law can bluster all she likes, but this. is. Poppy's house. Poppy is in charge here.
Strangely it does make Poppy feel better. The combination of the hand lifting her chin and the soothing words. She has seen this Nanny do something similar with Toph, when she is fretting about some small tragedy. Something about this Nanny makes Poppy wish she were a little girl again, and the feeling is very jarring for her. She steps back slightly from the Nanny. It is inappropriate to be friendly with servants. To confide in them and seek comfort in them.
This Nanny is already over-familiar with Toph and Poppy should not be encouraging this sort of behaviour. She gives the Nanny a slightly scolding look. Nanny understands. She bows low and says that she will go prepare Toph in her best clothes for the occasion. She is once again acting like the demur servant and not like she is Poppy's friend and confidante.
This is how it should be.
Then can be no friendships between fine ladies and servants.