A/N

Hey there! Thanks for reading to this point! It means a lot to Scare and me that you've gotten this far! Now, I know I said I would upload on Thursdays, but I just get so excited and end up posting late on Wednesday nights :P sorry. Deal with it. Anyways! We're having a ton of fun writing this! We hope you enjoy it at least half as much as we do. Thanks again!

-Saerenae

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*Levi*

I was tired. So. Fucking. Tired. But what the hell did it matter?

It had been three days, three sleepless days, since the attack. Everyone was tired, but at least the others had been able doze off. The mansion had been abnormally quiet with everyone brooding in their thoughts, walking around like soulless beings trapped in limbo. Not many words had been exchanged between the four of us. We were awaiting news from Pixis.

I had spent my sleepless nights either walking the quiet halls, pacing the confines of my study, or meandering around the outside of the mansion. It hadn't been difficult for me to stay out of sight. I wasn't exactly avoiding anyone, but I wasn't attempting to keep another's company either. It was easier to just keep to myself when everyone was so helplessly lost in their separate self-created hells of thought. I could almost find solace in the quiet stillness of the night. Almost.

It was the third night that had brought me out to the back of the mansion.

Knowing it was probably past midnight, I had made my way from the solitary confinement of my room to the solitary expanse of the back yard in hopes that maybe the fresh air would help clear my mind of the images that had been so harshly painted in my memory. The cool air had collided with my skin sending goosebumps over my exposed flesh. It was a surprise to feel comforted by something so innately human, but I relished in the sensation as I made my way to the shack where Kelis had subjected me to a cold bath what seemed like eons ago.

I pushed open the door without a sound, not at all surprised to find Kelis sitting in the water. The uncomfortable pang of emotion that touched my heart at the sight of her dazed eyes made me want to announce myself in some inconspicuous way, but I couldn't bring myself to disturb the silence with such a brazen gesture. Resigning myself to the quiescence, I lowered myself on the stool and leaned against the wall.

Kelis moved, disrupting the silence with the quiet slosh of water as she attempted to wash her back. Her struggle of trying to move her injured shoulder was punctuated with a disheartened sigh before she gave in and returned to her previous state of just staring at the water in front of her.

I stood, knowing she probably couldn't see me from the angle she was facing, and picked up a rag. When I dipped it in the cold water, I watched her eyes go wide with surprise, but shook my head before she could say anything. "No arguments. Hush and let me wash your back." My voice, though barely a whisper, seemed to be louder than normal. I wasn't comfortable with the disturbance my voice had caused in the almost peaceful silence.

She had childishly placed her arms over herself in attempt to cover her chest, her eyes displaying her inner debate of whether or not to succumb to my words. Seeming to have made up her mind, she turned her back to me and pulled her hair over her uninjured shoulder. The moonlight that trickled in through the high windows of the shack exposed the numerous scars that covered her back as she tensely awaited my touch.

Bringing the stool over to sit on, I gently ran the rag across her back, putting enough pressure to clean her, but not any more than needed. After lathering and rinsing her, my fingers involuntarily traced the beautiful collection of scars adorned on her back. I couldn't help but feel a bit pained that she tensed so much at my touch, but I knew her anxiety was well placed. I had hurt her in ways she had never deserved.

"Levi…?"

I was brought out of my daze by her softly spoken word, realizing I had left my hand on her back far longer than appropriate. Withdrawing my hand, I dropped the rag into the water and stood, making my way to the door.

"Wait, Levi." Her plea sounded like a shout in the noiseless confines of the shack, bringing me to a halt with my hand on the door. She stood and stepped out of the bath, dripping water all over the place as she boldly stood facing me. Well, almost boldly. She still had her arms over her chest.

I looked at her expectantly, waiting for her to continue as a pang of hurt caressed my heart at the sight of her nakedness. There was no way I could look at her body without thinking of how I had taken advantage of her, so I locked my eyes on hers and silently prayed she would just allow me to leave. I could see her eyes pleading for something, but I couldn't tell what exactly she was wanting to request. There wasn't much doubt in my mind that she simply wanted me to stay in her presence, but I had no plausible reason.

She shivered and averted her eyes to the ground, obviously having given up on whatever she had been trying to ask or tell me. The sight of her standing there, unable to bring her thoughts to life, stopped my heart.

I was to blame for her hesitance and it hurt. It hurt like hell. In a sorry attempt to comfort her with my presence, I dropped my hand from the door and turned towards her. "I'll help you dry off." I didn't want to admit just how much I was affected by the images of her that had been plaguing my every waking thought. I couldn't outwardly admit to my guilt and I sure as hell wouldn't outwardly admit to the pain. So, I grabbed a towel and made my way over to her, avoiding letting my eyes meet hers as I began to dry her. "Lift your arms."

After a moment of hesitation, she removed her arms from her chest, her injured arm remaining by her side as she put the other one out. She was attempting to keep herself from shivering, but her attempts were made in vain.

I couldn't avoid letting my eyes drift over her skin as I patted her down with the towel. My eyes drifted up her torso and her neck until they finally stopped at her lips, and I closed my eyes for a moment, unable to resist the temptation of pressing my lips to hers. Perhaps it was the exhaustion that had me so out of control of my emotions, but I was easily able to pull away from the chaste kiss that I had so recklessly given.

My gazed met hers and the look in her eyes brought forth a pain that radiated to my very soul, causing me to just throw the towel over her face before quickly making my way out of the shack. My pace didn't slow when I made it inside; instead, I quickly fled to my room, only stopping when I had closed and locked the door.

In the quiet stillness, I could hear my uneven breathing and the pounding of my heart in my ears. It was unnerving to say the least, so I tried to find a way to unravel the silence. My solution had been to read, hopeful that the inner babble of words would drown out my own thoughts as I attempted to forget the look of hesitant hope she had given me.

I opened my eyes to find myself on the small couch in my room with a book at my feet, realizing I must have somehow fallen asleep. It begged the question of whether the scene freshest in my mind was a dream or reality. Hoping it was the former, I picked up the book I had apparently been reading and placed it on the small table in front of me before standing.

After running my hands through my hair, I ran them over the front of my shirt to brush out most of the wrinkles. The smell of freshly brewed coffee and the sounds of voices drew me downstairs to find Armin, Jean, and Kelis sitting at the table. When I walked in, Kelis's eyes met mine before easily returning to Armin and Jean. If I hadn't noticed her grip on her mug tighten slightly, I might have believed that the previous encounter was in fact a dream.

Armin looked over his shoulder to me to speak when he noticed Kelis's slight change in demeanor. "We received word from Pixis." He turned back, but continued to speak as he ran his fingers over the rim of his coffee mug. "And we have a rough plan of how to proceed."

I made my way to the table and Kelis stood, leading me to give her a somewhat suspicious look. "What?"

She looked conflicted, but finally spoke as she moved around me to get a cup from the cabinet. "I heated some water in case you wanted tea rather than coffee."

I ignored whatever emotion was trying to settle into the pit of my stomach and sat at the table in front of Jean and Armin, paying little attention to Kelis when she sat a cup of tea in front of me. "Go on." I urged Armin, dismissing the look he gave me and Kelis. He was sharp and I was far from grateful for it in that precise moment.

"We're going to stage an execution." Well, that definitely caught my attention. "It's purpose is to draw out Mikasa, who Pixis believes to be one of the leaders of the rebellion. We just haven't decided who we're going to 'execute' or why." Armin looked over to Jean who had been oddly quiet since my arrival before picking up his mug. "To draw her out, it needs to be someone whose death she would want to witness." He paused as if considering continuing his thought, taking a sip of his coffee while he pondered.

Jean leaned his chair back on two legs with his arms crossed, earning a disapproving look from me while he broke the silence. "I suggested we stage it to where you're the one being executed, but we couldn't think of a good reason." He moved to casually lace his fingers behind his head. "So, Armin being the idiot he is, suggested himself."

I looked at the blond with slight amusement, though it was most definitely not displayed on my face. Mikasa would definitely be at Armin's execution. The woman would probably attempt to rescue him."And the reason behind your 'execution' would be…?"

"Treason." Armin stated simply. He took another sip of coffee and ran his fingers through his hair before setting his mug down and meeting my eyes, waiting for my response.

I looked to Kelis who had taken her seat beside me. "You should be the executioner." My statement was rewarded with a look of absolute shock and horror, but before she could speak I continued. "Mikasa would be less likely to outright shoot Armin's executioner if it was someone she had once been close with. That moment of hesitation could mean the difference between capturing her and failing completely." I looked back to Armin to see him nodding thoughtfully.

"I suppose you and I will be the ones stuck blending into the crowd trying to capture her." Jean huffed at me. He lowered his chair to its correct position and smirked. "Commoners don't wear cravats."

I narrowed my eyes at him and restrained myself from making a retort. "I'll report our plan to Pixis and see what his thoughts on it are." My attention returned to Kelis when her elbow accidentally brushed against mine.

She muttered an apology and stared into her mug, not seeming to have any objections to the course of action that we had decided on.

I knew that I had been the one to suggest Kelis as the executioner, but just imagining her up in front of the crowd, exposed to the threat of an unseen enemy, caused another uncomfortable emotion to swell. Worry? I'd gotten too soft. The image of the attacker from a few days before driving a knife into her flesh tore at my mind.

She had been lucky and luck wasn't something I was very willing to risk lives on.

Without so much as touching my tea, I stood and started walking away.

"Wait, Levi." It was Kelis's voice, echoing the words she had spoken last night.

Her simple request made me pause in wait, but I didn't turn to look at her. I couldn't figure out how the little shit had gained such influence over my emotions, but it was far beyond irritating. "What?" I growled back.

I could hear the hurt in her voice, but I could also picture her putting on her brave face as she spoke. "You haven't eaten in days." Her words made me notice the smell of food that had previously eluded me. "Eat with us…?"

I didn't want to deny her, but I couldn't stay in the room with her much longer when she kept giving me those hesitant looks. I saw her tense almost every time I spoke, as if she thought my next words would be a physical lash on her skin. "I'm not fucking hungry." I suppose she was right to tense at my words. "Don't pretend like I'm some damn kid you need to coddle."

I heard a chair clatter and turned to see her standing with barely contained tears, a red face, and a scowl that definitely didn't suit her. I could tell that a million profanities were probably wanting to dive off her tongue, but she did well to contain them as she put her hands on the table. "My apologies for being concerned, commander." With that, she righted her chair and made her way out of the room.

I stared after her, confused by the slight prick of pain that blossomed in my chest. The distance she had put between us by not using my name left me feeling empty.

"Way to go, commander shit head." Jean growled before making his way past me. "You could at least do the human thing and chase after her."

I closed my eyes and clenched my jaw in irritation.

"I'll accompany you to report to Pixis." Armin's voice startled me, but I nodded and left the room with him following me. He was quiet until we were about half way to the castle, then he found his voice and expressed his thoughts.

"That was cruel." No need to sugar coat things.

I gave him a sidelong glance, not bothering to acknowledge his statement with anything more. It wasn't like I needed to hear what I already knew.

"But I suppose you already know that." He sighed and put his hands behind his back as he walked, making him look more like a child. "And since you already know that, I'll ask you this…"

"I swear to god, Armin, if you ask me 'why,' I will kick your ass straight in to next week."

A dry chuckle escaped his lips and he shook his head. "No, no. I already know your guilty conscience is the reason why." His blue eyes met mine and he smiled softly.

I wanted to yell in frustration at how accurate the brat was, but I wouldn't let him shake the apathetic façade I had maintained for so many years. I couldn't let him break the foundations of who I had built myself up to be.

"I simply want to know who you're really directing your cruelty towards. Kelis? Or yourself?"

I stopped dead in my tracks, trying to truly comprehend what he had just asked. I could feel the foundations of my being crumbling beneath my very feet as I tried to find a suitable response somewhere in the archives of my mind. My eyes had locked onto the ground right in front of my feet, trying to make sense of the simple question that was destroying the world I thought I knew.

Armin had stopped a few paces ahead, facing away. How kind of him to allow me to crumble in peace.

I exhaled slowly and took a step forward, desperately grasping to the unraveling strands of my sanity. "Don't fuck with me, kid."

Armin shook his head slowly and put his thumbs in his pockets, his eyes averted to the ground as he delved deep into his own thoughts.

Don't turn my world upside down.