CHAPTER 11 – The Tears Of The Phoenix
The kids knew that Harry and Draco were meeting with Professor Lupin. Hermione was probably the only one who had any indication as to why and she wasn't talking unless Harry brought it up first and he hadn't.
Everyone was welcoming Luna, when they saw the two boys walking into the Great Hall for supper laughing with each other. Then they actually sat next to each other when usually Draco sat next to Snape.
Ron felt his temper rising, and his mind was tossing around thoughts like, 'what is that dirty snake up to now?'. Then he remembered the session he had with his Dad a few weeks prior and took a deep breath. He had promised himself that he would at least try and not let his mouth take over his good sense, especially with his family and friends but also with others. Draco had done nothing rotten to him this summer, at least so far, perhaps he needed to chill and see how things played out.
Harry purposely sat next to Ron, allowing Draco to sit on his other side. Across from Harry, Hermione sensed a great change in attitude coming or a great war and braced for it.
As Harry was piling his plate with stew he tossed out a question; "Who do you think will take the England Quidditch Championship this year?"
Hermione was shocked, thinking that Harry had just lit the 'war' fuse, but she was wrong. To everyone's surprise and astonishment both Ron, who was looking at Draco waiting for the battle to come, and Draco, who was doing the same thing, yelled "the Chudley Cannons". Then they both sat there with their mouths hanging open as they had never, in all their time together, ever agreed on anything. Neither one could figure out what to do next.
"I don't know", replied Harry, "I think that the Appleby Arrows will take it."
The war began with both Ron and Draco, verbally sparing with Harry over the greatness of the Cannons and the shortcomings of his team of choice. Hermione just tucked her head and smiled to herself as did most of the adults that knew anything about Ron's love of the Cannons.
Pretty soon Ron and Draco were talking to each other with Ron spitting food, from his overly full mouth, all over Harry's plate, as he became so excited at finding someone else who loved the Canon's. Finally Harry said, "Listen Ron why don't you move to the other side of me so you and Draco can talk and I won't have to eat my supper and yours too".
Without batting an eye Ron said "sure", jumped up and moved his plate. Harry just thought to himself, 'well that potential war is over'.
Authur was beside himself with happiness as were others who knew how much Ron hated Slytherins and how fast this could have escalated into a knock down drag out war.
Albus, with a twinkle in his eye, knowing what had just transpired, turned to Harry and said, "Harry I need to talk to you after dinner, if you would come up to my office when you're finished?"
"Yes Sir" Harry replied, wondering what was in the wind now.
Harry took his time eating supper, not really wanting to go to the Head Masters office. He just knew that things were going well right now and he didn't want anything to mess it up.
He reached the entrance to "That Office In The Sky" hoping that the door was shut since Dumbledore had forgotten to give him a password. Again, fate was against him as he saw that the door was already open. Dumbledore must have remembered that he forgot to give him the password so left him with no excuse not to show up.
He stepped on the stairs and they began to revolve, lifting him up to the next platform. Arriving he noted that Dumbledore's office door was shut, so he knocked. A few seconds later he heard the word "enter". He opened the door to see not just Dumbledore sitting at his desk, but Snape, Lupin and an empty chair for him sitting in front of the desk. This was definitely NOT good news.
"Hello Harry, I hope you had a good supper, please have a seat," said Dumbledore.
"Yes Sir" responded Harry walking over and stiffly sitting in the vacant chair, the one that was closest to the door.
"That was a very nice thing you did, getting Draco and Ron talking to each other like that, congratulations" said Lupin.
"I didn't do much sir, I just knew that they both loved the Cannons and helped them to see they had something in common."
"None the less" said Albus, "It will allow them to heal their differences a lot faster than normal and that has to be good."
"Yes, Sir" said Harry, still stiff, waiting to see what the real topic of conversation was going to be about.
"Well, lets get to the matter at hand this evening" said Albus. "Harry, I have asked Professor Lupin to be with us because, while I do not know what you talked about in your sessions, I do know they would not have continued if you didn't trust him, am I correct?"
"Yes, Sir", replied Harry, "He has always been honest and up-front with me".
"Harry," continued Albus, "as you are well aware we have removed you from your Aunt and Uncle's residence because they are definitely unfit parents".
"Brilliant assumption" responded Harry.
"Watch your tone when talking to the Head Master young man" sniped Severus, "You will keep a tone of respect when talking to him."
"Yes Sir" replied Harry without looking at Snape.
"As I was saying Harry, they are no longer your guardians but by law you have to have a guardian. When Professors Longbottom and Snape went to pick up Cassy they also had the Dursley's sign documents giving up custody of you both. Cassy's guardianship was signed over to Professor Longbottom and your guardianship was signed over to Professor Snape.
Harry exploded as soon as that word 'Snape' came out of Dumbledore's mouth. He stood up and said, "WHAT IN THE WORLD IS WRONG WITH YOU, ARE YOU DETERMINED TO GET ME KILLED? NO FRIGGIN WAY SHOULD HE BE MY GUARDIAN, HE HATES MY GUTS. YOU MIGHT AS WELL SIGN MY DEATH WARRANT OR SEND ME BACK TO THE DURSLEY'S. HE HAS CALLED ME EVERY NAME IN THE BOOK, HE HAS...and about this time Harry lost it and the frustration and tears broke lose, he could contain them no more. He turned around and before anyone could stop him he bolted out the door.
"That went well, said Snape, curling his lip".
"What did you expect" asked Remus, "That he jump for joy, that the one teacher in this school that treated him like garbage all year, now has guardianship over him?"
Snape blushed, as much as Snape can blush, and had no retort for Lupin.
"Let me go find him Albus and talk with him a bit. I will bring him back in about an hour, is that OK?"
"Yes," said Albus, "we will try to meet again in an hour".
Harry raced through the castle and up to his dorm room. Once there he started packing a few things he would need for a short trip then he headed out again. He had decided to go to the Burrow and talk with Mr. Weasley, at least he would understand.
He raced through the doorway and toward the the grounds. When he rounded the corner to head toward the main hall he ran smack into Lupin who was coming to find him.
Lupin grabbed him by the cuff of the neck and led him toward one of the empty classrooms. The man was much stronger than he looked and Harry was having a hard time keeping his feet on the floor.
Lupin knew that Harry was in a rage and there was only one thing to do, although he really didn't want to do it. He closed the door to the classroom, and put a silencing charm on the room. He then sat on the desk then pulled Harry over his lap. He pulled up Harry's shirt then SMACKED him a few times on his backside.
The first smack grabbed Harry's attention, as did the sting. He suddenly realized where he was and what position he was in and who was spanking him.
After a number of swats Lupin asked Harry, "Now tell me why I had to drag you into a classroom, put you over my lap and smack your bottom for you?"
"Because you're a traitor, all that talk was a lie!"
"Let's try this again" said Remus as he added a few more swats to an already warm bottom. "Why are we here?"
Harry was crying now, as much as he didn't want to, he could not stop the tears, but he would NOT answer Lupin.
"Let's try this again, and Harry, I have all evening but I don't think your bottom does. Now why are we here?" With that he swatted with a bit more force not only Harry's bottom but that sit spot that will remind him for a few hours that he had been spanked.
"Because I yelled at the Head Master and Professor Snape," sobbed Harry.
With those words Lupin stopped spanking Harry and let him stand up. He grabbed him and held him tight and let him cry, handing him a handkerchief. At first Harry tried to push him away but Lupin would't let him go and just kept rubbing his back saying, "It's Ok Harry, it's over now, your forgiven and I am sure your Dad would have said to you right now that He still loved you!"
With those words Harry seems to wilt and just pull himself into Remus as he fought to get his tears to stop. When it felt like Harry had himself under control, Lupin said, "Harry sit down, we need to talk." And with that Remus grabbed his wand and put a cushion charm on Harry's chair to make it more comfortable.
Harry, still crying a bit, sat down and appreciated the charm right away. He still had not looked at Remus, he didn't know if he could he was so embarrassed.
"Harry, look at me," Remus said. "Look at me please!" he repeated.
Harry finally looked up at Remus and said "I'm sorry professor, I shouldn't have lost my temper. I know you taught us ways to control it but all your words just seemed to fly away and I couldn't grab them back."
"Harry I also told you that kids make mistakes, they always have and always will. People who care about them will punish them for their mistakes, forgive them and hope that they can remember how to do it right the next time."
"There will be more mistakes Harry, I can almost guarantee it, and you will be over someone's lap again, I can almost guarantee it because you will be a kid for a long time yet."
"Today's mistake is a matter of Respect for your Elders. It doesn't matter if you like them or not" said Lupin, "You should still conduct yourself with dignity and you should at least respect their position."
"They both knew that you were going to have objections. That's why I was there, so that you wouldn't feel outnumbered. You will be given an opportunity to express your concerns. When you share your thoughts on the matter you need to keep your cool and you need to share with them why you feel the way you do. Yelling will never accomplish anything except more of the same treatment that you have just received."
"You mean I will get to talk, and they will really listen?" asked Harry.
"Yes Harry, I am a counselor and I am there to insure that you all have a chance to share your thoughts. Now a counselor would not normally spank you but I also happen to have been one of your Dad and Mom's best friends. I am very sure that your mother would still be swatting your butt if you pulled that number in front of her."
Harry smiled and said, "Do you really think so?"
"Oh yes, she was a very kind and wonderful woman but she had a temper on her, worse than yours."
"Now" said Remus, "What how about, we go back upstairs and try this again?"
"OK, but only if you will cushion my chair up there too," he smiled.
"I think I can manage that," smiled Remus.
As they began to walk back Harry stopped and looked as Remus asking, "You won't tell them I got a spanking will you?"
"No Harry, that is between you and me."
"Why can't you be my guardian?" continued Harry.
"Harry I don't know how much you know about me, but the rumors you have heard are true I am a werewolf. I was bitten as a child and have to take a potion each and every full moon. The ministry would never allow me to take over guardianship, especially of you."
"So what, I don't care, and if you were one of my parent's best friends then it shouldn't matter. Wouldn't they have wanted you to take over my guardianship?" asked Harry.
"Perhaps Harry, but it just can't be. I will be there for you in any way I can, but that is not allowed."
"That's just wrong Professor, just wrong!"
"Life is not always fair Harry, but we will try and make the best of it, OK?"
"OK," replied Harry, continuing on to "The-Office-In-The Sky" and more bad news he was sure.
Soon they arrived back in Dumbledore's office and Lupin took his seat. Harry sat down and smiled to himself as he felt the cushion beneath his sore bum.
Harry started the conversation by saying, "I'm sorry for the way I acted, it was just such a surprise, and I reacted inappropriately. I was disrespectful to you both and that was wrong. I will try and keep my anger in check when I get to share my feelings about this."
Albus smiled then said, "Well said Harry, let's start this over and forget what happened. Perhaps we can talk out our differences in a calmer way. I too am sorry as I could have broached the subject with a tad bit more tack and not just hit you with it out of the blue."
"First, since you already know what has taken place why don't you share with us how you feel about it" continued Albus.
"He really doesn't have a say in this Head Master so why are we wasting our time?" asked Snape.
"Severus, he has a right to express himself even if you don't agree with him, at least you will know him better, which in turn, should help you to deal with the job of guardianship."
Harry was looking at his shoes all through this. When Remus cleared his throat, Harry took this as a sign that it was his turn to talk.
Harry took a deep breath and in a calm voice he looked at Professor Snape and began.
"Professor Snape, I came to this school all excited because it was going to be a brand new start for me. No more beatings for nine months, a chance to learn, really do well in class and not worry about getting beaten if I did better than Dudley, or beaten if I did worse than Dudley."
"It was a whole new world and while I admit I was ignorant about how it all works, I listened and tried very hard to learn."
"I didn't have a chance to read any of my text books because they were taken away from me as soon as I came back from shopping and I didn't see them again until I was packing to leave."
"When I arrived in your class I started taking notes on every word you uttered and then you lambasted me for taking notes when I should have been listening to you. Then you insulted me by calling me names in front of the whole class. You then asked me questions, some of which I have since found out were not even in the book, and when I couldn't answer them you belittled me again."
"It never stopped! Class after class, all year long. you made me feel little, useless, worthless, insignificant and feeling like I didn't belong."
"On top of that you accused me of being my father, over and over again. I have never met my father, at least so as I could remember. I decided, after awhile, that he must be a good guy since you hated him like you hated me, and I didn't think I was that bad a person."
"After a while my whole day was wrapped around dreading going to your class because it didn't matter what I tried to do to make you happy it was not going to happen."
"Herminone and those around me were my teachers. By watching them closely I learned from them. I had to because you were not interested in really teaching me anything. You just wanted to see how miserable you could make my life, as if that would make you feel better about how miserable my Dad supposedly made you feel. I soon realized I couldn't make up for whatever my Dad did to you, it was not in my power to make you feel better, so I quit trying."
"I lost total respect for you when you hounded Neville so much that he could not do his potions right because he was shaking so badly. That seemed to make you happy, when we failed. The only times we ever saw a bit of a smile on your face was when we did something wrong and messed up the potion or when you handed out detentions."
"I don't trust you, I don't respect you, and I am very afraid of you. You have made it very clear that you hate me for some reason. So in my mind you are not a person that someone wants for a guardian, especially when you are only eleven years old. At least with my Uncle, I knew WHY he hated me?"
Then Harry turned to Professor Dumbledore and said, "I want to see you as others do, with that twinkle in your eye, always being the grandfather when needed and Head Master when needed. I manage to sometimes, but most of the time my memory goes back to the fact that you dumped me on the doorstep of people who didn't want me anymore than they wanted weeds in their garden."
"That could be called just a mistake and could have been rectified. But then you just left me there for eleven years and never checked up on me. If it was important enough that you place me in a house with all those protections wouldn't it make sense that it would be equally important to at least check up on me once in a while to see if I was still in one piece?"
Harry looked at Remus, he stopped speaking and looked at his own lap as tears started dripping from his cheeks into his hands.
Much to everyone's astonishment Fawkes, flew from his perch over to Harry's shoulder and began to sing softly in Harry's ear.