A/N: Thank you again to everyone who is reading/following/favoriting! You keep me going! Also, super sorry for the delay! This chapter was rough to say the least. I deleted things, put them back, rewrote them, took them out again…it was a mess. But I finally got through it and here it is! I hope it's worth the wait! Leave a review and tell me what you think!
Beth considered Daryl's arrival to be cause for some sort of celebration so she had retrieved the canned spam from her hiding place under the kitchen sink and served it for dinner along with a can of carrots she'd found in the convenience store. They passed around a bottle of soda, flat and almost undrinkable, no one really speaking as they ate. The sun had set and the cabin was dark, lit only by moonlight that managed to filter through the plastic covered window. Beth had reclaimed her seat on the mattress, back against the fall and feet out before her, facing Daryl. Daryl had finally taken a seat on the floor leaning his back against the cabinets in the kitchenette, facing Beth.
Morgan sat in the huge recliner, facing them, studying them. Finally completely exasperated with the silence, he spoke quietly, "Think I'm gonna go recover my supplies in the morning. Kind of got interrupted today and don't want them sitting out there too long. Someone might happen across 'em." He looked at Beth and said kindly, "Got some medical supplies, think we could change out the dressing on your head, make sure it's kept clean." Beth smiled at him and Daryl winced as he remembered holding Beth in his arms while Carol had stitched up the wound in Beth's head, cleaning up the site and wiping her clean of all the blood that had escaped. He'd felt so numb, past the point of crying, and had focused on holding Beth perfectly still so Carol could do a good job. He'd focused on her face, her blue eyes closed and hidden from him, her face devoid of a smile. She almost hadn't looked the same to him, like he held a stranger in his arms. Now as he sat in the tiny cabin and watched her smiling and looking at him with questions and… hope, he almost couldn't breathe. He opened his eyes and found her staring at him, looking confused, and he tried to smile, knowing it probably didn't work. Morgan watched the exchange and sighed, twisting in his chair to face the door, "I'm just gonna be over here, sleeping and not listening to anything ya'll say."
Beth laughed a little, glancing at Daryl. Daryl nodded, moving to get to his feet, "I'll take first watch then."
Morgan looked over his shoulder and replied, "It's quiet out there but there are still animal noises, crickets and such. Walkers coming through usually shuts them up. We're also pretty concealed in here. As long as we stay quiet, don't go shooting any guns or shouting, we should be alright to all get some sleep." He looked between Daryl and Beth, giving each a knowing look, then turned to face the door again, "You two feel free to use this time to talk. Your third wheel is gonna be over here, asleep."
Daryl slumped back to the floor and cringed inwardly. Was it so obvious? Now that he'd gotten her back, he had no idea what to say to Beth, how to even explain everything that had happened between them, what they'd been through, both with the group and alone. He pulled his legs up slightly and rested his wrists against his knees, glancing up at her through the fringe of his hair. He still couldn't believe she was sitting there, alive, and part of him was convinced that he was dreaming or that this was another hallucination. He swallowed a little and flicked a wrist, "Got something to ask me?"
She shifted a little, folding her legs and focusing on a spot on her jeans. She frowned and he braced himself. He would tell her anything she wanted to know but he didn't want to have to tell her about everything she'd lost, everything that'd gone wrong. He could only hope she'd start with something simple, something that wouldn't bring up a painful part of their shared past. Finally she looked up at him, chewing her bottom lip slightly as she contemplated her first question, "So…you said I have a sister, Maggie. Rick is the leader of the group and he has a son named Carl. Who else is in the group?"
He let out a little breath, feeling relieved, "Well, there's Glenn. He's married to your sister." Beth smiled brightly, cleared excited at the prospect of another family member. "There was a group that we was a part of outside Atlanta. We were on the road trying to get to Fort Benning. We've lost most of the original group since then, just Rick, Carl, Glenn, me, and Carol left. You and Carol were friends. We found this farm, met you, Maggie, and…your Dad, Hershel." Beth watched him nervously and he wished he'd thought to not mention Hershel. She stayed quiet though, not asking about her father, so he pressed on, "After we…left we found a prison. Rick's wife, Lori, gave birth to a little girl they named Judith. Lori didn't make it through and you… you kind of took her on, took care of her." Noticing Beth's face fall slightly, Daryl added, "She's okay, she's alive." Beth smiled broadly, relief evident on her face and she nodded for him to continue. He smiled a little in return, amazed that even after everything he could still read her thoughts, her emotions, on her face. "Tyrese and Sasha are a brother and sister that found the prison and joined us. Michonne kinda did the same, just showed up one day. There's more to it but I…I don't wanna tell you too much."
Beth nodded, "It's okay. I'm still hoping maybe some of this will jog my memory, let me remember." She shrugged and asked, "So…anyone else? You said there are about a dozen of you…so…" She shifted a little, glancing at her hands then looking up, waiting patiently.
Daryl cleared his throat and continued, "Yeah, so we had to leave the prison…" He glanced at her, silently begging her not to ask why, and she met his eyes with a small smile, as if she understood. Daryl gave her a small nod and pressed on, knowing this next part would cause her more grief but knowing he couldn't keep it from her, not this. "We…we lost your dad. He…was a good man and it was hard on everyone." Daryl looked down for a moment as that memory washed over him. Beth had helped him move past the guilt he felt about Hershel's death that day outside the shack but the grief remained. Having to tell her about Hershel dying made the pain fresh again and he winced a little as he bowed his head, not wanting her to see.
"Daryl?" Beth's voice called softly across the small space and Daryl took a deep breath, feeling a sense of comfort in her voice. He may have failed Hershel, may have failed Beth, but Hershel's daughter had survived. He looked up, meeting her blue eyes, and tried to smile. She looked worried, eyes large and she leaned forward for a moment, as if deciding whether or not to move towards him.
He raised a hand, signaling he was okay, not ready for her to be so close again, needing a little space as he told her about the past, and she relaxed a little. He could tell her concern didn't dissipate but she was willing to accept his need for space, settling back against the wall to wait for him to continue. He cleared his throat a little and went on, "On the road Glenn and Maggie met a small group that supposedly were protecting a scientist who had a cure for this thing. Turned out the guy was lying to us, there ain't no cure, but their group stayed with us. Abe is their leader, Eugene is the fake scientist, Tara is someone Glenn met on the road, and Rosita is…the muscle, I guess." He smirked a little, "She's kind of like you, small and pretty, but tough as shit."
Beth beamed at him, laughing as if surprised, "Well I do believe that's high praise coming from you, Mr. Dixon."
He froze at the mention of his last name, remembering when she'd mocked him in the cabin, accusing him of trying to chaperone. Then he remembered and his stomach dropped a little. He'd never told her his last name, hadn't mentioned it in the few hours since he'd found her.
"What?" She asked, shaking him from his stupor, looking confused by his expression.
"I never told you my last name," He said in a low voice.
Beth's grin faded and she frowned slightly, looking away, searching her memories. Finally she spoke softly, a note of hope creeping into her voice, "No, I guess you didn't." Finally, she looked over at him and asked nervously, "Did we…um…ever get drunk?"
Daryl stared at her, barely daring to hope, "Yeah, on moonshine."
Beth's eyes grew wide and she said quietly, "I remember that…I mean, I don't remember everything, like I don't remember why we were there or why…we were alone…but I remember you handing me a glass…I called you Mr. Dixon." She smiled a little, watching him closely, looking for a sign that what she had remembered was real.
Finally he grunted a little, "Yeah, you was on a mission to have you're first drink and I took you to that place, gave you that moonshine."
Beth let out a little breath and her face split into a grin, "I tried to get you to drink too but you wouldn't…I thought you were trying to chaperone me, treat me like a kid."
Her grin faded into a frown and he could see the memory slipping away. He knew what came next, the drinking game they'd played, the way he'd yelled at her, made her shoot that walker with his crossbow. He'd screamed in her face, told her everyone they knew was dead and Beth had stood toe to toe with him and yelled back, fighting for her right to have hope, to be treated as an equal rather than as some dumb kid who had no business in his world. Part of him was glad she didn't remember that, glad she wouldn't see him that way, but the other part wished she would remember. They'd had so little time together but it had changed them both. He didn't want her to lose that, to not know what they'd shared.
After a moment she whispered, "You were so mad at me. You thought I was making fun of you or…something." She glanced up at him, meeting his eyes. He looked away after a moment, wishing her could take back those words. "I'm sorry, Daryl," She said quietly and he met her eyes again. He hated that she felt like she'd been the one who'd done wrong, said something to hurt him instead of the other way around. "Whatever I said…" She continued.
Daryl cut her off quickly, voice rough, "Nah, I was a dick to you. Got a little wasted and took everything out on you. You didn't do nothin' to deserve that."
She stared at him and he could see the wheels turning as her brain revealed more from their past. After a moment she whispered, "You told me everyone was dead, that we'd never see them again. You blamed yourself." She frowned a little bit, putting pieces together as asked quietly, "That's why you were so angry, wasn't it?"
He looked away, focusing on his feet, remembering with her. Finally he looked up and met her eyes again. She waited patiently for an answer so he replied gruffly, "Yeah, but you yelled right back. Got in my face, refused to let me treat you like shit…" He smiled a little at the memory of tiny Beth going toe to toe with big bad Dixon, ripping him open with every word, every statement. He'd been teetering on the edge and Beth had forced him to let it go.
Beth noticed his smile and returned it asking, "What? I don't remember much after…can you tell me?"
"Then, you just grabbed me, hugged me when I didn't expect it, and I just…let go." He replied, slumping a little against the cabinets, remembering the emotions he had felt, the weight of Beth's small frame against him and her tiny arms wrapped around him so tightly.
He looked up and found that she had scooted closer until they were sitting toe to toe. She watched him, a worried expression on her face, and whispered, "I remember that. Daryl…" Tears formed in her eyes and she leaned forward slowly. He watched her for a moment and marveled as she slowly moved towards him and wrapped her arms around him. His arms automatically pulled her close, offering the same comfort she'd once given him.
"Good," He said as she laid her head on his shoulder, "I was a dick to you but…I'm glad you remember." He laid his cheek gently against her head and added, "I'm so damn sorry, Beth."
She leaned back slightly to look at him, "Daryl, what's done is done. Everything is going to be okay."
"How do you know?" Daryl asked, wondering how she continued to have faith, after everything he'd told her and everything she'd been through.
She smiled, that same smile that had gotten him through his darkest moments, and replied, "Because every time I look at you I feel…something. I know I'm safe with you. I know you're going to fight for me like I know I'd fight for you. We're going to live because…we're together now. We stronger together, make each other better somehow." She looked in his eyes for a moment and he held her gaze, not looking away. For a moment it was like they were back at that tiny table in the mortuary, candles all around while she wrote a note to thank the owner's for the food they'd taken. She'd looked at him just like this, like she was looking at his soul rather than the facade he presented. After a moment she pulled away from their embrace, and Daryl let her, thinking he could use a little space after that little trip down memory lane. He'd never let himself think about that moment, the moment where everything seemed possible, like they were headed somewhere…important. Now that he'd let it resurface he doubted he could bury it again, not with Beth looking at him like that.
She returned to her previous position on the mattress and he watched her fidget with her jeans. He hadn't been able to say it then and…he'd lost her. If he couldn't say it now, tell her something about what he felt, he would regret it. The universe had shown him that it didn't take kindly to missed opportunities. After a moment he took a breath and said quietly, "I feel something too. You give me…hope." Her eyes shot to his and he met them for a moment before looking away. He ran a hand through his hair before glancing back at her to find her staring at him. Unable to decipher her expression this time, and feeling a little stupid, he grumbled, "What?"
She shrugged and gave him a small smile, "Nothing. I'm just…I'm glad."
He grunted, "Yeah, well…guess we better get some sleep."
"You want to sleep on the mattress? I think it's queen size, plenty of room, I don't mind sharing," Beth asked quietly. She didn't look away, her gaze showing no embarrassment or suggestion. He could tell she didn't mean anything by it, had no ulterior motive, but he couldn't accept.
Instead he stretched out on the floor and throwing his arm over his eyes. "Nah, I'm good," He replied quickly.
Beth scoffed, "C'mon, you can't be comfortable on the floor. I promise I won't try anything," She added, a note of amusement in her voice as she leaned forward slightly to look down at him.
Daryl raised his arm to glance at her for a moment before growling, "Go to sleep." Beth smiled and shrugged before laying down and Daryl felt his lips stretch into a smile in response. Even though he would rather sleep on the mattress and he would prefer to keep Beth close, he didn't want to risk her waking up and not knowing who the stranger was sleeping next to her. He figured he could stand a little discomfort on the floor if it meant keeping Beth comfortable and unafraid.
"Good night, Daryl," She whispered across the room, her voice gentle, seeming to soothe his battered soul with every syllable. He smiled to himself and listened as her breathing slowed as she drifted off, leaving him alone in the dark to watch over her.