Chapter 11:
Breakfast was served. I smirked just at the thought of Zuko's perfect tongue in between my legs. Unfortunately it wasn't the kind of meal that could feed my sexual soul.
It was breakfast with the company stakeholder and to my surprise, Aang had showed up too. I was busy making small talk and trying to be as polite as possible to all the business men when my darling husband decided to finally walk over and greet me after two days.
"Hey," He placed his arm softly on my hip. I jumped. Somehow his touch wasn't meant for me anymore. "Can we talk?"
I told the nice man I was talking to goodbye and Aang pulled me off to the side, in a room full of men who were here to see me.
"I hope you make this quick. I have long day of meeting and the big presentation today. I have to focus on that."
Aang frowned, "I haven't seen you in two days. I was worried about where you were and whether or not you were okay."
"Let's be honest here Aang, you go well over two days without even saying a word to me when we're at home. What's the difference now?" Okay, maybe that was mean. He was upset now but I had been upset for the duration of our marriage.
"You're different."
"What?" I was acting the same. I looked the same. Did he know? Could sleeping with another man once had really changed me so noticeably?
"You're different Katara. This is you. I don't know what changed but you aren't the woman I married."
Did I even care anymore?
I could feel Zuko's eyes wander towards me from across the room. I immediately felt everyone and everything fade away in the distance. I had spent a wonderful night with him and now I couldn't stop thinking about the way his hands felt on the valley of my breasts. The way his lips felt caressing my neck and the way he moved when he was close to me.
"Then let me go, Aang." With that I walked away and let him wallow in his guilt. He would pay for robbing me of my happiness and I would enjoy every moment of it.
Once I had stepped away from Aang, Zuko immediately came over to me. He made sure to not get to close to me so to not raise suspicion. To be honest, I didn't care. He could've taken me right there in the middle of the floor and I wouldn't have cared.
"How are you holding up?"
"Fine. Just a little tired." I couldn't help but to stare at his lips. God, I wanted him to kiss me so bad.
"I bet." He smirked then leaned in close to my ear. "I want you right now. Seeing him touch you in public drove me crazy."
I could feel a knot grow in the pit of my stomach.
"Let's go." I demanded him with ease.
And he followed me like a blind man with a death sentence.
His mouth smashed into mine as we hit the stall with a loud thump. We had managed to sneak off into the employee only bathroom.
The scenery included: one stall, one sink, and the perfect place me to get fucked without any traffic near by.
We didn't bother undressing this time. The need was too strong and frankly this wasn't the time to take things slow. I slipped my panties down to my ankles and hiked my dress up to my waist. I watched him unbuckled his pants and licked my lips in desire.
There was no time waste. He was erect and I was already wet. He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. Sloppy kisses seemed to be the only foreplay we had time for.
He entered me and I felt him move deep inside of me.
"God!" I groaned as he bites my neck. At this point I could leave marks with the grip I had on his neck.
"Mmm Zuko is also fine." His thrusted out fully and then rammed into me hard and deep. I thought my soul had left my body. I wanted to let out a loud scream but he covered my mouth. "No noise."
If he was going to keep screwing me like this then this no noise thing was going to have to change.
He kept sliding in and out of me, causing the familiar hot in my stomach.
"You feel so perfect. Don't leave." Zuko whispered into my ear and started to suck on my ear lobe. I didn't even care that I was in a dirty restroom or that I was having a quickie in a bathroom with one hundred people nearby. All that mattered was being satisfied.
When we finished we fixed our clothes, wiped our sweat, and stood in silence. I smoothed out my hair and slipped my panties back on while he adjusted his shirt.
I felt so dirty, so guilty but it had also felt so right. Even now it felt so right to be bathed in my sin.
It was so much more different than last night. The sex last night was intimate and blew my mind for sure but today satisfied all my urges and eased my body.
It was like Zuko was some drug too me. It was strange though that he was so quiet.
"Wait at least five minutes until leaving. I'll go first." With that he left me alone in shame, in my sweat, and in my longing.
~/~
I couldn't breathe.
This was the turning point of my career, presenting in front of 30 innovators in the tech industry. I couldn't even leave the bathroom. My heart pounded in my chest and I found myself paralyzed in the bathroom stall.
What was going on with me?
~/~
"Have you seen Katara?" Aang whispered to Zuko. Aang for the most part was normally calm but now he seemed a little worried. Perhaps it was because his darling wife had went MIA on him for two days. He assumed she needed time to cool down after their argument.
She was always so hot-tempered but in time she would usually come to her sense and come back to bed with him.
Zuko gritted his teeth and let out a long sigh. "No, I haven't seen her. We're supposed to present in 10 minutes."
Aang muttered, "She has bad nerves. She always gets like this. She has such high expectations for herself. She's probably syked out in the bathroom right now."
Zuko rubbed his temples and said, "I'll be back."
~/~
My heart beat at full force as if it was going to come pounding out of my chest. Suddenly, I felt overheated and fatigues. I couldn't breathe but I could feel the pool of sweat forming on the back on my dress.
I was paralyzed, in the very same place of shame I had just gotten screwed in hours before.
"Katara!" A familiar voice that I didn't want to hear right now. I didn't want him seeing me like this. "Katara, you have to get up. It's time."
I could hear him but the sound his voice only made my chest feel like it was going to explode. I was going to die. I was going to die a whore, a slut. I was going to be buried and my headstone would read here lies: "The Modern Day Hester Prynne: Brand her with her S".
I heard more footsteps. I knew that peculiar shuffle of the feet. I felt a warm bottle kneel beside me. I knew that smell too, like sea salt and apples.
"Katara, you need to calm down. I may not be the best partner right now and I may not give you enough credit or accolades but you are great. You can do this. You never cease to amaze me. You are kind and smart and compassionate and you're always doing for other people. You are a great mother and an even better wife. You have never failed me Kat. What makes you think you'll fail at this? You've worked so hard. I love you." Aang kissed me softly on the forehead as tears rolled down my face. "And I bet you Zuko is depending on you. He chose you for a reason. We support you and most importantly, I love you."
Zuko stood near the door and watched as Aang coddled me on the floor. Oh how his glare and anger spoke volumes in the tiny space.
My heart rate was slowing and my breathing returned to normal. Suddenly I felt a huge weight dissipate from my chest.
After all I had done and said he was still the only one that knew me. He really, truly knew me.
How I forget that Aang still loved me a little bit? If only he knew what happened in this very room hours earlier.
~/~
It was a success. I treated myself to a warm shower and washed my hair after the presentation. We now had hundreds of new investors interested in the growing industry of online dating.
The water poured down, it dripped by my side, as my mind faded into dullness and everything was a foggy illusion. The sensation of the steamy water calmed me; it took my mind of things. All the things I honestly didn't care about. It's the water. My mind swirled, and it's like I stood under an everlasting waterfall. Ever so beautiful, but it could never last, I knew that now.
A knock came at the door. Aang was off at the store and left me to relax. Maybe he forgot his key?
I draped the white robe over my body and answered the door with soaking wet hair. I didn't even have time to throw my wet curls in bun because the knocking got more insistent.
"Zuko?" He was standing there looking absolutely indignant. "What is wrong with you? You can't be here."
He pushed passed me through the doorway and into the room. He stood in the center with his hands covering his face. I shut the door behind me.
"Can you stop pacing? Talk to me? Why are you rushing over here?"
He stopped mid-pace as if everything clicked for him. "I want you. And I can't have you. That speech. GOD, that speech. He's such a great guy and I'm ME. Jesus, this is fucked up. I should've never- we should have- Now I can't stop. Now I won't let you get away. We're fucked."
Part of it made sense to me but none of it did at the same time. He must have felt any overwhelming amount of guilt, shame, and maybe some jealousy in the mix too. At least I wasn't alone in the odd juxtaposition of feelings.
Zuko started again. "This wasn't an honorable arrangement and for that I'm sorry. I let my lust and my damn ego control me. I thought it would feel good to pull a married woman. I thought it would be good to be with someone like you but really, I'm just an asshole with daddy issues and an overactive libido."
I respond, "I feel shame too. What would my kids think of me if they knew? But then I'm with you I just don't care. All of that washes away."
"You have kids with Saint Aang. You are treated like a princess. Why would even risk that for sex? He loves you so much. I saw that."
"Because, you make me forget my brokenness. It's not just sex for me. You make me dwell in the good things."
"I'm jealous, you know. I wanted to touch you and make the panic attack stop but I guess that only works when we're naked. I hate him for being able to have you all the time but I can't even hate him for that. He's such an amazing man and I'm just a banished prince."
"Well I guess we better not get caught Mr. Banished Prince. This is working for now. Let me worry about my own marriage but I'm not leaving him Zuko."
"I didn't ask you to. I never asked you to. I just don't want you staying out of habit. You deserve freedom and happiness."
"It's complicated. I told you already." Images of my belly being swollen entered my mind. Things were very complicated indeed.
"You ever think he's unfaithful? If he doesn't sleep with you-
I cut him off and finished the statement, "He has to be fucking someone else. Yes, a million times but I don't think he is. Even if he was can I really get mad now? You're lucky. You're allowed to have your cake and eat it too. You can go hook up with women at bars and screw me at work but me! Me, I have to go back to my family and look at myself in the mirror at night."
Zuko spoke, "This isn't easy for me either. I crave you. I desire you. I taste you. I sense your smell even when you're gone. I hear your moans even in the silence. I cannot control myself around you. YOU control ME. You own me now. I will serve you. I won't leave until you tell me you no longer want me. It is my pleasure to give you that which you have been deprived. Your body is intoxicating to me now and I have to SHARE you, then feel guilty about touching you. It's infuriating."
"Do you want me right now?" I asked and drop the tie on my robe. My body was bare and glistening for his eyes to see.
"God." Zuko looked speechless. "Katara." He covers his mouth with his hands. "Aang is one lucky bastard, you tease!" I slip my robe back on as he finishes speaking.
"Aang will be back soon. You should leave."
"He invited me to lunch tomorrow. I assume he wants to make sure I'm not sleeping with his wife." Zuko chuckled and gave a playful slap to my ass.
Meeting? I knew Zuko was joking but Aang and Zuko had nothing in common, except her vagina. What could they possibly talk about?
Zuko kissed her softly on the lips then left. I plopped down on the bed and sighed. My phone vibrated. It was a message from Toph.
Toph: Did you do it? Or did you tell ZuZu the truth?
I threw my phone on the floor and slammed my face into the nearest pillow.
The truth was everything was confusing and she didn't quite know the truth at all.
These were the undeniable facts:
1I was married and unhappy.
2I was sleeping with her boss, a man who made her happy but also has someone on the side.
3The kids needed stability but I needed purpose. The possibility of a future child made me sick.
4Zuko induced in me feelings I have never felt.
I was now the stereotypical horny housewife who wants MORE.
On things which may not be true:
1Maybe Aang was cheating on me but maybe he wasn't.
2The smell of peanut butter made me nauseas.
3Zuko could be playing me and then marry Mai after all.
4Maybe I would make a good divorced woman? Maybe I would make an even worse co-parent?
5The truth is relative.
Author's Note: It's been awhile FTRR fans! In my absence there has an abbreviation created by some readers which is awesome.
I apologize for the delay. I'm in college and have a busy semester. I'm vice president of my sorority and I'm finish the last few classes for both my majors. Updates will definitely be sporadic.
Also my updates may be lacking, like this one. Because I'm in school, I put 99% of my energy into editing and writing academic papers and 0.5% of my energy writing creatively.
In other words, I have little to no time to edit nor do I have enough time to write. I'll shoot for once every three week but it's almost midterm week so who knows. Ah, the struggles of being a double major!
Let me know how you feel about this chapter and any future speculations!
~Brie