Welcome to 'The Excuse for Not Having this Chapter Done'.  I'm your host, the one who does nothing, yet seemingly never has time, Kit!   Who is writing this instead of trying to cram together another chapter.

KIT: I AM writing the next actual chapter.  Eventually, this insanity will end, and the old insanity will begin over, but until then… ARG!  Well, once again, I'll be gone over the weekend.  I'm going to the renaissance fair.  Yep.  I'll be surrounded by Ye Olde Englishe speaking-e folke.  So, I get to have a weekend of fun in freezing Minnesota, you guys get to wander around aimlessly.  FUN!

JAMIE: That doesn't sound like fun…

KIT: Yeah, well neither did stuffing John in a fire-proof closet, but look how fun that was!  Anyway, I'll tell you what I'm up to.  I am devising a plot!  Two plots even!  One for the Brotherhood *it's where Blob gets his fear of Gingerbread* and one for the Acolytes (mostly Pyro oriented) because JB and Faeryeyes are out there… with pointy sticks.  They never sleep… always watching me, my precious… ::breaks into twitching fit and falls over::

::Beast steps in, takes Kit's blood pressure and winces::

BEAST: It's 142 beats a minute… in CONGA rhythm?!  My stars and garters!  Get this monkey to the medlab, stat! … I've always wanted to say that.  ::Hoists Kit up, and shuffles off::

JAMIE: … not again!  I don't like telling the readers there is no update!  They get all angry!  ::Kit renters the room, looking much more sane.::  Wow!  That's the fastest recovery from a mental break down I've ever seen!

KIT: And now… for something completely random… rejected plot ideas.

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                ::Scene opens, Kit's crouched in the director's chair, flipping through the script with distaste.::

KIT: QUIET ON THE SET!  Pietro!  ON SCENE! 

                ::Pietro zips onto the set::

KIT: Ok, in this scene, Magneto falls off the building after a sentinel nearly steps on him.  Pietro, you are horribly distraught.

PIETRO: I can do distraught in my sleep! No problem!  A-hem. 

                ::Lights dim, Magneto dodges the sentinel's leg, but falls off the building.::

PIETRO: GAAAAAAANDAAAAA~LF!

KIT: O.o …. Uh… cut?

                ::Magneto hovers back up to the stage, giving Pietro his own strange look::

PIETRO: Oh, did I mess that up?

KIT: Well… let's try that falling scene again.  One more time Gand-err… Magneto, from the top.

MAGNETO: I swear, you take a roll in a literary classic… the arts!  And you are forever known as 'Gandalf'. ::Grumbles::

(For obvious reasons, I did not use this.  As you all know, Ian Mckellen plays Gandalf and the X-men movie's Magneto… he also looks like my Grandpa when he doesn't sleep…)

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                ::YET ANOTHER scene::

KIT: Set… SEEEET… SHADDUP! ::the room quiets::  John!  Your turn!  Get up here!

                ::John jumps onto the stage, and immediately belts out the lyrics to 'Janie's got a gun', replacing the word 'Janie' with 'Jamie'.  The small boy the song is now about looked bewildered.::

KIT: JOHN!  Can't you shut up so we can film!!?

REMY: Non.  We lucky we can get homme t'shut up in his sleep.

KIT: That's it, JOHN!  Yer fired!  Bring in the stunt double!

JOHN: You can't fire me!  Who else can do my fire stuff!

KIT: Amara or Mastermind.

JOHN: ::pouting:: But who can do my scintillating wit?

KIT: Bobby … standing on his head… while being hit with wiffle bats.

BOBBY: Not the wiffle bats!  Have mercy!

JOHN: ::disheartened:: But no one looks like me!

                ::Mystique enters the room, looking disgruntled.  John pouts in his monogrammed chair::

KIT: Quiet on the set!  Mystique!  In this scene, 'John' is supposed to give an upset Jamie a hug.  Be supportive.  … and is that my milk?!  ::Kit snatches her milk from Evan::

                ::Mystique morphs into John's form and steps up to Jamie, hugging the small boy.  Jamie is quite for a moment.::

MYSTIQUE/JOHN: There, there, tot.  Would you rather we and find ice cream or something?

JAMIE: …. BOOBIES!  JOHN HAS BOOBIES!

KIT: Gah!  …. ,  WHY!  What did I do to deserve this?!  CUT!!

JOHN: Well, sheila, looks like I'm needed.  Hire me back at double my rate and I'll do it.

KIT:  Fine.  Your rate is double.  …. ::hands John nothing:: HAHA!  Now do you realize your folly of multiplying by zero!  Yer working for free!  WHOAHAHAAAAA!

MYSTIQUE: So does that mean I go back to the staff lounge?

MAGNETO: They just added a self-serve ice cream machine!

JAMIE: …Boobies!
HANK: Med staff on set!  We've had another break-down!

KIT: … I need a vacation…

(This was for TowardsZero.  SEE!  This is why I can't put Mystique in yet!  Jamie's now scarred for life.  Don't worry, she's coming in… when you least expect it!  PS: Rolled newspaper no longer threatens me.  I've been upgraded to 'folded paper fan'.  And 'Kit Treats' are synonymous with 'Cheez Itz'.  MMmmmm CHEEZ.)

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And now, for comments!  Ignore ME!  IGNORE MEEEEE!

JB: Askth, and thou shall receive… as long as it is goofy.  See, ya got a fic coming your way… eventually.

Kiki Cabou:  Yes, I am horribly addicted to Harry Potter and Monty Python… which is actually a hilarious mix!

Black Arache: HEY!  Someone who actually LIKES my interludes! …. I like you.

ASGT:  Weird that you mention it, but I just inked a henna design on the top of my foot!  It's like were cosmically connected! … or henna is good.

Tasmanian Devil: Yes, laughing seems to be a serious side effect of reading my fics.  If people cried, I might think something is wrong with me … or possibly them.

TowardsZero: THE SHEEP?! …. Wait… I digress, I like Cheez Itz.  The End

Marian: Ya wanna touch Jamie?  Well, only if you promise not to use his powers for the dark-side of pranking.

Animeluvr1: NOOO!  I have Evan's pants!  I'm a very selfish monkey.  Only milk and lots of cheesy crackers my persuade me otherwise.

Imhotep Ardeth Bey:  ACK!  You mean all this time Jamie's eyes are BLUE!?  Well, thanks for the correction, 'oh mighty one'.  I'll revise it later.  And then I'll only draw fan art where Jamie has BLUE eyes, daaa.

Stretch: Kit IS the alter Ego, and she DID take over a while ago.  And if you start running now, you may catch up to Remy.  He left screaming about a minute ago.

Lonley Poet: I'm a bad pun-ster as well.  A BAAAAD punster.

Todd Fan: My brain is run by a lazy hamster in a wheel.  It COULD get more insane, but the question is, are you afraid of cheese and sock puppets?