Here's the next one :) Talk to me ;)

...

The room was silent after that, Leilani wide-eyed and staring, me still being held by Beth and 3, 4 if you count my baby's, pairs of eyes watching me.

I felt myself sag back against Beth and she held me tighter, though I wasn't sure if it was meant to be comforting or just to keep me on my feet.

"You ok?" Beth whispered in my ear. I half shrugged: was I? "Sit down girl," she said, steering me to a chair and pushing me down into it. I hated being watched, I wanted them to look somewhere else. I stared at the wall across the room.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Duane Lee walk across the room to Dog and stopped and looked at Leilani.

"She really does look like him doesn't she," he said quietly. "Dunno how we never noticed before."

Leilani chose that moment to let go of Dog and reach for Duane Lee. He hesitated for a second before taking her from Dog and lifted her onto one hip, where she lay her head against his shoulder and sighed.

"Why didn't you tell anyone Kila?" he asked me.

"I'm sorry," I said lamely. "I guess it just didn't feel right..."

"As far as reasons go," Beth said, "that's pretty pathetic."

"I know. Before, I never told anyone cuz I didn't know who you guys were." I sighed. "Leland and I met at a gym in Kona when I was 21. Jeff, the trainer, he set us to spar because most guys didn't want to fight me, being a girl. Leland didn't care. I beat him." I had to smile a little at that. "After the fight, we went to a bar to hang out, went a little overboard and god flat out drunk. He didn't want to go home to his boys like that so he stayed the night with me, and, well, we had sex. I ended up pregnant and he didn't even remember what happened that night."

"I remember when he came home," Duane Lee spoke up. "He was so hungover and out of it I had to yell at him for a good 10 minutes before he heard me. He slept for the rest of the day." *

"So you didn't know where to find him," Beth said.

"Didn't know where to find him, didn't know if he'd care," I replied. "I met Toni after that, when i was about 8 months in. He was always there for me; after that, i didn't care if i ever found Leland. Then I saw him on tv one day."

"Why didn't you come looking for him then?" Dog asked. I snorted.

"Cuz I didn't care! I didn't need him and I didn't know him: what would it have looked like if I'd come looking only after finding out that he was famous? I didn't want to start a big thing."

"What about at the bar?" Duane Lee asked.

"THAT nearly gave me a heart attack."

"Why didn't you say something then?"

"What was I supposed to say Duane Lee? Hi my name's Kila, I'll be your hostess this evening and oh by the way, we met 3 years ago and you're the father of my child? Ya, bet that woulda gone over great."

"But you didn't try to get in touch after that?" It was Beth's turn. I shook my head.

"Again, why bother when it could do more harm than good?"

"And when Toni introduced us?" Duane Lee pointed out.

I sighed: I didn't really have an answer for this one.

"Honestly guys, I didn't want to mess up anyone's life. Duane Lee, trying to find Leland through you would've put you in the middle. I didn't want that. And I didn't want to mess with your friendship with Toni or, eventually, with me."

"But what about-"

"OK! There were lots of times I could've said something. I know I should've said something sooner but I... Didn't know how. I didn't want you guys to hate me or... Anything." I ended lamely, staring down at the table. I heard a collective sigh go around the room, then 3 pairs of arms surrounded me.

"We wouldn't hate you Kila," Beth said. "We all know what it's like being a single parent and we've all made some choices that maybe haven't been so great. We have to learn from our mistakes and move on with life."

"Lyssa and Leland both hate me," I countered.

"Nah brah," Dog said. "Lyssa doesn't hate you, she just thought you were messing with her family. And Leland... He'll cool off with time, it's just the shock and I think he's mad at himself too for not figuring it out. But he loved Leilani before he knew he was her father and he'll want to be in her life now that he does."

"Any guess on how long that'll take?" I asked miserably. I just got squeezed tighter as a response.

"Thank you," I said as I disentangled myself from them. "Really. I don't know where I'd be without all of you. Would you mind if I was alone for a bit though?"

I ended up wandering out back to the pool, where I sat and dangled my feet in the water. I was there maybe five minutes, and I thought I was alone, but all of a sudden I heard footsteps and I looked up to find Leland at the end of the pool, walking towards me and glaring.

"Leland," I managed, jumping to my feet, sliding a little in the water on the deck. He just glared as he walked past me towards the house.

"Wait!" I called, grabbing his arm.

"What?" he snarled back.

"Please Leland, let me-"

"Let you explain?" he cut in. "Explain what? Why you never tried to find me? Why you never even bothered to tell me that I have a daughter? No, you had so many chances to say something Kilauea, to 'explain'. Now I just don't want to hear it."

Wow. That made me take a step back: even my mother never called me Kilauea unless she was seriously pissed.

I hadn't realized I still had a hold on his arm until he yanked it from my grip and made to walk by, but when he did he sent me stumbling backwards, where I slipped in the puddle at my feet and fell back, right into the pool.

When I surfaced, gasping and coughing, he was still there, glaring at me but as soon as I started swimming towards the side of the pool, he turned his back to me and walked back inside, slamming the door behind him.

Heaving myself from the water, I just sat there: how did I screw this up so so badly? My eyes stung and pool water wasn't the only thing dripping down my face.

Pulling my knees to my chest, I sat by the pool and just cried and cried.

...

ok, so kinda short and miserable but whats life and love without a little heartache right? dont hurt me :P it has to be sad before it can be happy again. im working on the next one, its sort of written out in my head but havent put anything down on paper... er, word doc? lol also, im introducing something new for my stories. anyone notice the little '*' (asterix) thing up there? *points up* not a typo. that is where i will be writing a flashback in a seperate one shot type thing. i though about putting it in the story but it didnt really feel right cuz i havent done it before. there will most likely be more than one in the future, sont really know when ill get this one done either and i might even go back through the story and add some in :P i'll let you know :)