Ed and Al held up at the sight of Izumi sitting outside waiting for them. She smiled, waving them inside. "I gave Edwina your old room, Edward!" she said cheerfully.
"What're you two waiting for?" Winry asked.
"N-nothing." Ed said hesitantly. But he and Al both felt that if Izumi wasn't beating them up, then she was waiting for Edwina to take her turn.
Edward opened up the door to his old room, Al right behind him. What they saw made them freeze. Edwina was standing like a deer caught in the head-lights, a towel wrapped around her body and water dripping down her body. "You perverted little pin-heads ever heard of knocking!" she finally screeched, throwing a chair at them. It hit right on target, knocking Edward down. "As soon as I get my clothes on, all that's gonna be left for Izumi is to bury you!" she yelled, slamming the door. About thirty seconds later, she opened the door, fully dressed, and chased after them.
Just as Edward started to get outside, he felt a strong hand yank him back inside. Edwina spun him around and furiously punched him in the face. "Ow! Hey, look, we're sorry!" he begged on the ground, rubbing his cheek.
"No apologies!" Edwina howled, leaping over him and throwing Al to the ground.
"What did they do to make you so mad?" Winry and Izumi asked nervously.
"The little pin-headed, retarded, perverted bastards have never heard of knocking apparently! They burst in on me without any clothes on!" Edwina yelled, stopping Ed from running away before kicking Al's head off.
"Okay, I think they're all yours, Edwina." Izumi sighed, standing up and leading Winry inside.
"No! Winry! Help us!" Al called desperately.
"No, I really don't think so!" she called over her shoulder.
At dark, Edwina still wasn't satisfied, and was still fighting Ed and Al. Ed was covered in bruises and cuts of all sizes, and Al was in pretty bad shape too. "Edwina! Supper's ready!" Izumi called outside. "Oh, you still aren't done? And you stared before noon, and it's now eight!"
"Almost done." Edwina growled, slinging Ed across her shoulder.
"Please… No more!..." he begged weakly.
"You are in no position to be asking for me to stop." Edwina snarled, quickly shimmying up the tree. "There." she grunted, firmly wedging him between two branches. "Now I'm done!" Edwina called cheerfully, walking inside.
"You're just leaving me here?" Ed wailed.
"Shaddup!" she yelled angrily. She whipped around and pointed to Al. "If you try to get him down, I wedge you somewhere higher and tighter than a tree, so don't bother!"
"Oh, good technique. I should've used that on them." Izumi nodded, pulling Edwina inside.
"You're cruel!" cried Ed as Al meekly followed them inside.
"Yeah, well, get comfortable, 'cause you ain't getting' down for a while, shrimpy!"
Al didn't ask Edwina any questions, but did as he was told and asked. But, that night, before she went up to bed, he asked her one question. "How long are you planning on leaving brother in that tree?" he asked nervously.
"Till noon. Maybe longer." she answered, letting her long hair down.
"But it's supposed to rain!"
"Good for you. Do I look like I care?" she answered, closing the door in his face.
Al ran outside. "Brother! She says she's leaving you there until noon, maybe longer than that!" he cried.
"What? No, she wouldn't!" Ed told himself.
"You better believe she will." Al jumped at Izumi's voice. She was smiling cheerfully. "Edwina has been my friend for a long time now, and when she says she's leaving you there Ed, she'll leave you there!" she laughed. "Feel lucky she put you in the most sheltered part of the tree, because it's going to rain. Good night!"
"Teacher, you aren't going to help him?"
"Why should I? Come inside Al, before it rains!"
Al ran inside to find Winry, but found she was talking with Edwina. So instead he sat and eaves-dropped. "I really like how you stuck him in the tree! I wish I was strong enough to do that!" Winry was laughing.
"I spar with their teacher. What do you want me to do, beat him into a bloody pulp? I could do that if you want." Edwina asked. "To tell the truth, I want to do that myself, but I need to save some fun for Izumi. But I'd do it at your request."
Al was speechless, waiting for Winry's reply. "No, I don't think so. But did they really come in on you with no clothes?"
"Yup. I was stark spic-'n'-spam naked except for a towel." Edwina paused. "They ever do that to you?"
"Not yet, but my fingers are crossed!"
Al flinched at the boom of thunder and the patter of rain. He peered out the window at his brother, stuck in the tree until Edwina felt gracious enough to let him down. "Poor brother." he whispered.
"Al! Quit eaves-droppin'! I can hear ya out there in the hall!"
"Sorry!" he squeaked, scurrying away from the door.
Next morning, when Ed opened his eyes, he saw Edwina glaring up at him. He remained silent, feeling himself blush. They stayed silent, staring at each other, for a few minutes. Edwina was the one to break the silence. "Comfortable?" she asked.
"Uh…" Ed wasn't sure how to answer her.
"Good, because you got three more hours, shorty." she said coolly, walking away. "Oh, yeah. For your information, don't ramble about me being only a little older than you, 'cause I'm thirty, and proud of being this small. I ,for one, don't fancy the idea of having to duck down in my own house like Annabeth."
"You're thirty?" Edward yelped. He flinched as Edwina turned around.
"Yes. I'm thirty. Just like I told your dad a couple of days ago." she sighed, climbing up the tree and sitting on the branch next to him.
"But you said you killed the bastard! Ow!" His sentence was rewarded with a sharp rap on the head. "Jeez, what was that for?" he whimpered, aware of how at her mercy he was.
"Hohenheim is a kind man! It's my mom who's the bitchy bastard." Edwina lay down, resting her head on his back. "I can't help but look at you and see my son. You look just like him." she sighed.
"So tell me. Records say you had twin daughters, but you say you had a son and a daughter. What's true?" he asked nervously.
"Everyone mistook Len for a girl. I don't blame them. They were my own kids, and I had trouble telling them apart. Rin and Len were twins, but somehow, they were identical."
"That's impossible!"
"Tell that to my children. They were alike in every way. Rin didn't like wearing her hair long, so Len wore his hair short. Len didn't like wearing long pants, so Rin never wore skirts or long pants if he wasn't. They were perfectly identical."
Edward felt something wet on his back, and realized that Edwina was crying. "I miss them so fuckin' much!" she wept.