School's back. *without any enthusiasm whatsoever*yeaaaaaaaa. Well, taking a break from studying, I've decided to grace you with a back to school gift, a new chapter! Hope you enjoy it. Goodie of the Day:cinnamon bun flavored yogurt (never heard of it? Yoplait's thick n creamy. mmmmmmm).
There were no voices audible from outside the house, but the soft glow of torchlight still burned inside. As I opened the opulent front doors, I was hit by the much warmer and cozier air from the inside as the outside chill blew through into the hallway. Closing the door behind me, the air immediately sealed off.
"Did you have fun?" Alice asked. She was in the middle of sewing what looked like a large sheet.
"Yeah, I did," I said, not adding the incident at the club nor what I overheard. I considered asking Carlisle if he had heard of any rumors of rebellion; he knew much more about the city's politics than any of us. "Andy was great as usual."
"And how's everyone else doing?"
"Never better. What have you guys been up to since I left?"
"Not much. Carlisle's still in his lab as usual, Edward, Bella, Emmett and Rosalie went out hunting. Everyone else went to bed over an hour ago."
"What are you making?"
"Oh, this? Just some new sheets for Christelle. Those old ones of Carlisle's are so stiff and yellowing, you know?" She continued back to her work, busily working with the new sewing supplies that Christelle gave her. Her concentration seemed unbreakable; I knew she was thinking about more than sewing. It was moments like this, when Alice would get so wrapped up in her mind that she would seem to day dream for hours on end, that she was never up to talking.
My eyes felt heavy, but I paused briefly, and finally walked past the stairs and down the hall. Stopping at the top of the basement stairway, I wondered if this was really a good idea. Well, if he was busy, I would just ask another time. Besides, I wasn't going to ask what he was doing; it was just chatting with my foster father. So, after giving myself a reassuring sigh, I descended the stairs and knocked on the old, wooden door at the bottom.
"Carlisle," I called gently, "are you busy?"
"Not at all, Nahuel. Come in." I opened the door.
None of us went inside Carlisle's lab on a regular basis; it was considered his personal room. Still, we were all aware of what was inside it. It was clean and orderly, filled with stainless steel counters and glass containers filled with liquids in a variety of colors. In the corner, right on the small desk was a fading picture of Esme, held in a frame that I myself carved and plated with gold by Carlisle. There was a new addition to the room since I was last here; a small glass cage filled with several field mice. Carlisle was sitting at his desk, writing something on a sheet of paper. Even though sleep wasn't necessary for him, his eyes were still as tired looking as ever when he turned around in his chair. It was odd, but in this light, it appeared almost as if he had wrinkles, which I knew was physically impossible.
"Are you sure I'm not bothering you?" I asked politely, just to make sure.
"No, I'm just trying to figure out an equation." I glanced at his paper; it was covered with what appeared to be chemical equations, diagrams and symbols which I didn't recognize. "So, what's up? How were the guys?"
"They did pretty well," I said. It took a little courage before admitting the next line. "But, um, William came. He and I kind of…quarreled." Carlisle sighed heavily, his fist tightening fiercely.
"He didn't threaten you or anything like that?" he said, his voice a combination of concern and anger.
"No, he just said his usual comments. It was no big deal; we just went to another club." I wanted to sound brave and nonchalant, but I still felt bothered by tonight, as I had so many nights when this sort of situation happened. Carlisle was always easy to talk to about these sorts of things. He bit his lower lip.
"And that was it?"
"Yeah, that's all." He smiled gently.
"I know it isn't easy dealing with someone like William. Just remember, he has lots of power. Don't underestimate him," he admonished.
"I understand." For a brief moment, I once again considered asking him what I really came here for. I felt a little stupid; what was so bad about asking?
"Hey, Carlisle," I said.
"Yeah?"
"Have you heard any rumors concerning some sort of uprising?" Carlisle's face flinched so fast that I almost missed it. Or was it just my imagination? But now his face appeared curious.
"An uprising? That doesn't seem like a something anyone would talk about so lightly. Where'd you hear it?"
"Well." I brought my voice to the lowest whisper of registration, lest anyone else from the house would overhear. "I heard William talking about it to some officers at the bar. They seemed to be really concerned about it, even though they're not really sure if it's true or not." Carlisle listened in with an unusual intensity, making me feel a little on the spot. Finally, he spoke.
"Sorry, Nahuel; can't help you there. Who knows, it may be just that: a rumor. Don't dwell on it." His face was calm and light, but I could almost pick up a faint trace of some unknown thought etched in his eyes. Maybe it was just my imagination.
"Well, thanks anyway, Carlisle. I'll let you know if I hear anything further."
"I will. Oh, and Nahuel," he added on. I turned my head to look at him again. "I wouldn't go around mentioning this. If word reaches any of the police, it would be bad if you were implicated." He kept his tone light, but the look on his face was dead serious.
"I understand. Thanks, Carlisle."
"Don't mention it." He turned around and sat down at his desk before I closed the door behind me and ascended the stairway.
The next three days passed with a strange calm. Bella and Edward came home from their trip to Spain, and everyone else returned to their usual routine. While everything was peaceful, it was oddly quiet, like the soft wind before a powerful gale. Maybe it was my gift of foresight, but I couldn't shake this feeling of uneasiness that seemed to dwell in me.
Certainly, I obeyed Carlisle and didn't tell anyone else what I heard, not Christelle, and especially Arden. As good of friends they were, those two couldn't keep their mouths shut if they tried. But that didn't keep me from constantly thinking about it. As if some angel was whispering admonitions in my ear, I just knew that this was a rumor that wouldn't be allowed to be ignored. There was something in Carlisle's eyes that I couldn't erase from my mind. No matter how many times I imagined it, I couldn't conclude if he was hiding something or not. But this thought was stupid; why would Carlisle hide anything from us? Hell, why would he have anything to do with a rebellion? It was completely unlike Carlisle to participate, much less instigate, violence. No, the idea was completely absurd. I had to abandon it and stop worrying.
To clear my mind, I scanned the library shelves, covered in many volumes with peeling binds, nor any one that I might have missed reading. But many of the books on the shelves were already cleared away, stored away in Bella's electronic library, and then either discarded or placed somewhere safer. Giving up after several minutes, I reclined on the aging leather sofa, bored and swimming with my own suspicious thoughts.
Footsteps made their way through the library, quiet yet determined. My head turned to see Christelle standing in the doorway.
"Hey, Nahuel, didn't Carlisle once mention some sort of special peak of some kind that you guys like to go to?"
"Yeah, but we haven't gone for a while because of bad weather. Why?"
"Well, it's sunny today. Can we go?" Just what exactly would happen at that peak wasn't clear in my head. Muddled colors flooded my vision of the future, usually meaning it would be a mixed bag. Still, I saw no reason not to go.
"Sure, why not?" I said, grateful for the excuse to focus my thoughts on something other than my ridiculous conspiracy theories.
"Oh, good. I've wanted to get out of this house forever. I miss fresh air."
"Well, I assure you the air is excellent up there," I said, raising myself from the couch. "I'll see if any of the others want to go."
"Actually," she said. She caught her self briefly; I could tell she wanted to say something that she knew might not be entirely agreeable. "I was hoping it could just be the two of us," she finished, sounding a little embarrassed.
I felt the same. Now that I thought about it, there was a part of me that really wanted to go alone, but another that felt extremely uncomfortable with one-on-one situations.
"Um, ok, then." I felt dumb not adding anything on, but what could I say really? No, that's ok, let's defy your request and bring everyone! Right. "But you have to travel there my way," I said, hoping the idea of the looming prospect of traveling on my back may cause her to change her mind.
"Ah, dammit, do I have to?" she said, trying to sound playful, though her eyes revealed her true anxiety.
"Unless you'd rather walk; but it's eleven miles and plenty of opportunity of being discovered…"
"Ok, ok, I'll endure it then," she huffed. "Come on," she gestured, "lets go." She walked outside, but before we proceeded, I took a quick run around the estate property, stopping every few seconds to take in the scenery, searching for any trace, any possibility that we would be caught by another vampire. But my observations found nothing.
"Alright, Christelle, it's all clear!" I shouted from the edge of the woods. I had inspected the forest for at least a dozen square miles in no time at all. Neither a sign nor a trace of anyone who would see, hear, or smell us.
"Ok, I'm coming!" she shouted back as she sprinted towards me. It was odd watching her in the sunlight; I had forgotten what it was like to not see anyone run through it without reflecting like a thousand pieces of a mirror. But she had a glow too, in her own human way, I supposed; especially with the fresh snow on the ground, the billions of ice crystals strengthening the sun's rays. It really was a beautiful day, the best of the winter so far.
"Ready?" I asked. She swallowed hard. "Are you scared?" I asked.
"Is the Pope Catholic? Of course I'm scared! I hate it when you guys do this," she said, not bothering to conceal her anxiety.
"Do you want to walk eleven miles up steep terrain?" I asked. She sighed, seeing that she had lost the argument. I crotched down low.
"Then climb on," I said. Hesitating, she slowly wrapped her legs around my back, her arms grabbing me under my arms. I could barely feel her on my back. Actually, I felt lighter somehow. I chuckled to myself.
"What's so funny?" she asked defensively.
"You're ok with living in a house with vampires, going on dangerous space missions, and living in a rancid hole with dirty humans, yet your scared a little piggy back ride." I couldn't help myself; I laughed more. She punched me in the arm, regretting it as she rubbed her hand.
"Remember what Emmett said?"
"Don't hit a vampire," she mumbled, feeling defeated. As soon as she rewrapped herself around me tightly, I took off, starting off slowly and increasing speed with each stride. She liked this method much more than taking off at top speed instantly. Still, I could tell she was scared; the faster I ran, the more she began to wimper.
"Just close your eyes," I yelled over the wind passing in our ears. I couldn't see if she listened to me or not, but she said nothing further, so I assumed that she took heed with what I said.
It was always exhilarating, running through the forest. No matter how many times I had done it in the past, I was still amazed by how much I could see at this speed. Not one rock or branch was missed by my eyes; I could probably still count the rings on a fallen tree.
In only a few minutes, we reached the top of the mountain. Even when we came to a stop, Christelle still hung on tightly to my back.
"Christelle, we're here." Her grip from my body didn't loosen. I reached around and pulled her off me and over my head. "Come on," I teased. She protested with several curt swears that sent me laughing more. But when she caught sight of the view, she instantly silenced.
Below us the earth dropped away, the face of the mountain cliff stretching for hundreds of feet. Spread out was a view of the whole valley, the city below us dotting the blinding white landscape like a pile of scattered rocks. The trees were still bare, save for a few evergreens here and there; leaving the ground looking like it was made with countless, shining crystals. The earth glowed in its icy, barren coating, beautiful and yet saddening at once, knowing that the life underneath the unforgiving blanket was struggling, hiding away for so many months. Growing up in the Amazon, where the land was frozen in a neverending summer, I always hated the winter time. The lack of life was alien, uncomfortable, despite its alluring image. It was a beautiful sight to me, but melancholy, forever missing what mademe most feel at home. But Christelle, who had never before experienced life on Earth, never seen the snow, never seen the green trees and thick growth and wild creatures, could never miss those things. She gazed in wonder everytime she went outside, her child-like curiosity always leaving her speechless at the asthetic stimulation.
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see a long, flat boulder, obviously carved by hand to serve as a bench of sorts. That flat rock had been there ever since we moved here, and we always used it whenever we came up here to enjoy the view. It was the only unnatural thing for miles, save the city far below us.
"Come over," I said to her. She looked to the rock that I was walking towards. We both sat down, and just spent several minutes looking at the view. She began to cover her eyes, growing sensitive to the overpowering lights.
"See," I said, "I told you it was worth the trip."
"It's beautiful," she said quietly. "Whenever I tried to imagine what winter on Home looked like, this is always how I pictured it." She squinted her eyes tighter after a slight tilt of her head sent a powerful reflection right into her face. "Well, maybe toned down a little." She smiled. For a few moments, we sat there, absorbing the valley below, Christelle especially. It was such a quiet moment, yet there was so much to be said about moments when all you need to feel happy is just the presense of someone else. Words weren't completely necessary right then.
But Christelle, ever the loud mouth that she always was and will ever be, needed to fill the quiet peace.
"Hey, Nahuel, can I ask you something?"
"Sure, what is it?" She turned to me with a little playful smile on her face, like she was when she was about to ask a personal question.
"I've been curious. What are you afraid of?" Knew it.
I chuckled a little. "That came out of nowhere."
"Well, I've been thinking a lot lately. You're cautious, of course, more than most people, but you're not afraid of being out here, afraid of being discovered. You weren't afraid to risk your life to chase down vampires and save me. Hell, you weren't even afraid to stop Arden. So just was scares you?"
"Hmmm...William," I said with a little smile.
"Oh, I've heard stories. Terrifying," she said with slight sarcasm.
"Really, who told you?"
"Emmett," she admitted. We both laughed.
"But seriously, he's no laughing matter."
"True. But I see right through you." She kept a keen smile, but I felt my throat swell up. "You may be afraid of William, but that's not really what you're afraid of. No one's greatest fears are every concrete." Now, I felt uncomfortable.
I realized I didn't recall ever being asked that question. Just what did frighten me the most. It was never something I would really want to share with anyone anyway. I was already seen as timid, weak among my peers. To give them a chance to find a way to bring me into that insecurity further was not something I ever wanted. But what would it hurt to tell Christelle? She never laughed at me-well, not out of spite anyway-and besides, she had this weird ability to make me spill my guts to her. Still, I wouldn't reveal it immediately.
"Well?" she inquired. I realized I remained unresponsive for several seconds. A little embarrassed, I coughed.
"Well," I said as I cleared my throat. I rested my elbows on my knees, folding my hands and resting my chin on them. "I don't know, really."
"Come on, there must be something," she said, keeping the tone light. As I contimplated how to answer her question, my mind swam with ideas of anything that would sound like a good answer. Certainly I was afraid of a lot of concrete ideas and possibilites. But something intangible? I suppose I had those too. I had my future that I cringed thinking of, I had doubts of my own security, and I had my family I worried for, whom I loved and cared for that I felt were beginning to slowly degrade as time went on. And then it hit me so hard that I anticipated falling backwards off the bench. I realized the answer to her question, and thinking about it made my chest ache. Memories played their terrible dance, filling me with moments of exquisite joy and ages of the deepest grief.
Before I knew it, I couldn't stop my mouth from revealing what was hiding inside me.