MinnyFox: Yes, haha, it's supposed to be a funny fic full of angst and drama, and it has it's highs and lows - just like my moods : ( haha! Don't worry too much, these dorks straighten themselves out soon. Then the fic continues to atrocious levels before i, er, left it abruptly. And your reviews are absolutely amazing! Don't worry about 'errors' and all that - it's awesome that you can express your opinion and comments to me!

Chapter Eleven

The next morning, Sanji opened heavy eyes to catch sight of the ceiling. It took a few moments to remember where he was and why, but once he did, he looked over to check on the other man. After all the fuss about their beds being too close – ending up in Sanji moving it back to where it originally sat – he was surprised to see that, sometime in the night, Law had moved his bed near his. Which gave him a little comfort; even if they were having troubles, the man felt the need to be close to him, anyway.

Sanji sat up, rubbing his eyes, blearily thinking about what he needed to do for breakfast, then remembered he didn't have to – this was Zeff's place. Zeff would do all that. But then he remembered the dishes that he hadn't finished, so he rose up from the bed, carefully making his way through the darkness to the bathroom, intending on taking a shower to wake up. He was itching for cigarettes, but he had no idea where Law had hidden them.

Afterward, he headed downstairs, where he turned on the overhead light near the sink and ran hot water to finish the dishes. As they soaked, he went in search of his cellphone. His screen lit immediately with messages from the Strawhats.

"Where are you?' Zoro had asked early in the morning. Sanji remembered belatedly that they were supposed to go for a walk in the park, so Zoro could continue showing him how to meditate. When he hadn't answered, Zoro had sent, 'Just call me later. I'm going to catch up on sleep.'

'It's over, I buried the evidence,' Robin had sent mysteriously. Then a few minutes later, 'Sorry, that was meant for someone else! : ).'

'Sanji! The name of that place where we saw that hot guy with the shirt!' Nami exclaimed. Then followed it up with a few phone calls and then shouting texts that he was cock blocking her.

Luffy's was several large bubbles of surprisingly long content, something the teen never really did. Sanji supposed he was feeling someway about 'losing his job', and he felt bad. He figured he should make it a point to go hang out with him once they returned home.

'I'm hungry. And Sabo said I couldn't drive to McDonald's anymore, because I eat everything before I come home, then leave again because I'm hungry, and he says it wastes gas, and I'm like, well, maybe I should walk! And he won't let me do that, too, because he says I take too long getting home, and who the hell is this guy to tell me how to live my life, eh, Sanji? I told him, you can't talk to me this way! And Ace was like, Yeah! And then we all fought because Sabo's been really controlling, lately, and once we realized it was only because Koala was mad at him, me and Ace went to go visit her because Ace told Sabo that he was going to the grocery store, and so Sabo let us go, and then we talked to Kaola, and Koala was just mad at us at first because it was three in the morning, and but it was only because Sabo wouldn't commit to her, so then when we told her we had to go back, she gave us her eggs, and Sabo asked why would we buy a dozen eggs with only four eggs in it, and now we can't go anywhere with the credit card, and Garp told us that we were grounded, and Ace and I were like, We're full grown men, now! It was great! So…I'm hungry. Did you make breakfast yet?'

'Never mind, that crazy old man came over and now we can't go anywhere, and I'm only texting because he can't find me in my special place.'

Sanji didn't know what to say to all that, but Ussop's seemed a little more reasonable. 'Hey, Sanji, does Chopper like cartoons? Have him watch this – I'm sure he'd like it. If he wants, he can come over and we can marathon a few seasons, and you can have some alone time.'

Jittery and short tempered from not having his cigarettes, Sanji sat down at the counter, jiggling his knees, scrolling through more messages. Notifications from his social media accounts – all of which he hadn't even bothered with since he'd 'come back' – drew his attention next, so when he pulled up Doflamingo's latest Instagram video, he watched a minute's worth of Doflamingo ranting and raving about how Chik-Fil-A shouldn't be closed on a Sunday. The comments below told him that his viewers agreed, but what really popped out was Kid's response: "Do your own frying from now on!"

To which Doflamingo replied: "how hard is it to cook, anyway?"

Almost three hours later, he posted another video with firetrucks in the background at their mansion, the fire chief frowning up at him as Doflamingo interviewed him. Sanji wondered where Corazon was, because he was usually in the background, looking sullen or trying to avoid Doffy's antics.

He found Kid's comment once more, then tapped on his icon – once it took him to his page, he saw that Kid had posted recent videos of his own. He and Bonney were shopping, and he would randomly approach scared teens and ask them what their favorite meme was. When they didn't answer or gave an unsatisfactory answer, Bonney would take their bag or an item of clothing from them. By the time they left the mall, she was carrying multiple bags and wearing several layers of clothes, laughing.

Sanji shook his head, annoyed at their antics. But he noticed that one of Kid's followers was Apoo, so once he tapped on his icon, venturing on his page, he saw that Apoo had been partying with a well known DJ at a club at Crocodile's casino. In one of the scenes, in the far background, he swore he saw Kaku and Spandem walking past an open doorway.

He knew Crocodile would not like those men being there. He would throw a fit if Zeff approached him without arranging a meeting, first. With how suspicious he was that other night, he wondered if this was an arranged thing, or the pair had just shown up anyway. He knew it was only a matter of time before Crocodile lost his head over something Spandem said, so he hoped Luffy was being patient.

He scrolled through his messages again, before returning to Instagram. He scrolled through his page – all of which were taken before Hiluluk, which meant he hadn't posted anything in literal years – then reflected on each photo. With each photo came a different memory. He remembered going to the Snack Hut for the first time with his friends, Gin eager to show off his uncle's place, then getting into a fight with Pearl over the food. He'd taken pictures of the park where he'd walked with Zoro and Mihawk, so they could meditate. Pictures of the aquarium and his friends. School pictures with his friends. Dishes from the restaurant. The city scape. All of these once important things that he felt he needed to share with the world. Little by little, different memories popped up in response to these, and he realized just how important it was to save an image.

He flicked out of there and opened up his phone's photo album. He hadn't taken many pictures lately – only homework reminders, notes on the white board, a flyer for a fresh farmer's market nearby. Looking around, he scanned the kitchen and the nearby dining room for something to take a picture of, and found nothing standing out. So he grabbed his coat from the rack near the hallway, and went outside. The air was chilly, and it was still dark. But he went down to the lakeside and settled for a picture of the changing sky colors over the lake. When he figured out how to post the thing on Instagram, he was surprised at how many likes he received just seconds later.

"That's a nice picture, Sanji," Bepo told him from over his shoulder, startling him so badly that he dropped his phone with a surprised shout. "Sorry. I thought you heard me."

"It's okay. I guess it's true what Law says about you," Sanji said, picking up his phone and wiping it off. "That you're his best ninja."

"Aw, I'm sure he doesn't mean that!" Bepo said with a blush.

Sanji tapped on the screen again, handing him the phone so he could take it at a different angle. "Take a picture of us, Bepo."

Once Bepo did, he also took a picture of Sanji standing against the lake, Sanji posing automatically with a cheery smile. Giving him the phone back, Sanji had to snicker as he looked at the photos. He liked the one of Bepo in his winter coat and scarf – literally things that he didn't need to wear, being that he was a polar bear - and his red face and tired smile, both of them looking out of place for the area.

"I haven't used this thing in ages," he confessed, fiddling with filters, not knowing the difference. He decided to use the one of himself against the lake, because putting Bepo out there wasn't a good idea, considering he was Law's 'best ninja'.

"It's good to see you using it again! I understand that you remember things better when you look at these things."

"I suppose…" Both of them looked up when they saw Law looking at them crankily from the porch, tugging on a jacket, sword in mouth. Bepo ran over to assist as Sanji hurried after him, hoping he could get his cigarettes back.

"Morning, senpai! Aren't we looking wide awake and fresh today? It's a brand new day, and we're capable of brand new things!" Bepo said cheerfully, his voice overly loud in the still air. He held his sword off to the side and adjusted his jacket so that Law could push his good arm through it, the other dangling over his shoulder.

"Good morning," Sanji greeted him cautiously, reaching out to make contact with him, but Law pulled out of his reach. Annoyed, Sanji turned away to look back at his phone, not wanting to bother with his attitude this morning. He received a few comments on his picture, so he walked over to a porch chair and flopped into it, opening up the app to look at the comments while Bepo gave Law a report of last night's activities.

From 'nice pic!' to Doflamingo's 'are we cracking out early, today?' – which Sanji did not understand, considering that the man was up at the same time – they were indication that people paid attention to him. Some were 'welcome back!' comments made from people he didn't even recognize; some were flirty, some outright asked if he'd been dead these past few years. Rude comments were ignored, but the others were a nice sign that he was not forgotten.

Over a hundred likes since the time he posted it, and he shook his head incredulously. He couldn't imagine being that type of person, anymore, where a hundred people could take notice of him and enjoy that he was there.

'Did Law take this picture? : ( : ( : ( ; ( ' came Kid's comment.

'fuck off,' he had to reply, automatically steamed.

Then he lowered his phone, a bit shamed by his reaction and the sudden understanding that Law's attitude towards him was just. If Sanji could be so utterly annoyed at another man's attention towards Law in the form of a comment, then the fact that another had told on him for his attraction to him was several times worse. Guilt ate at his stomach, again. He would just have to endure and wait until Law decided he was over it, and with his stubborn streak, Sanji had no idea when that would happen.

'Goddamn, who shit in your Wheaties?' Kid replied almost instantly.

'Your desperation,' Sanji replied back, frowning.

'After I rescued your stupid deer for you! Next time I see you, we're having words!'

'Wow, aren't you two up way too early?' Ace commented. 'GM Sanji! Come make me breakfast! I'm still in bed! :P'

'Kid! You've been up all night! I'll bring you some cookies,' commented AnonymousEgg1234. 'unlock your door.'

'Welcome back, Sanji!' Nami commented with smiley faces. 'I'm going to tag you in my next post.'

'this picture sucks,' Gin commented. 'you're not naked enough.'

'are you ^ serious?' asked Pluton-Babe 235.

'GB! I have a task for you!' Doflamingo commented. 'And you can't say 'no'! I won't allow it!'

'Tell Law I miss him! don't let your jealousy stand in the way!' Kid commented.

'wow, kid, that's seriously desperate,' Hogback commented. 'how embarrassing, especially on a social media platform such as this one.'

'Why the hell do all you weirdos follow me?' Sanji asked, tagging all of them.

'So I can kill you!' BigLikeARock exclaimed – Sanji had no idea who that was, considering the user was private and there were no pictures. He blocked that person based on this principle.

'because I haven't seen Law in 53 days, fourteen hours and nine minutes!'

'Gin, you too? I guess I'm not that surprised.'

'so I can plot my next move based on your location!'

'It's good to keep track of my enemies.'

'Robin, I know that's you.'

'Sorry, I thought I was commenting on someone else's picture. :D'

'This is seriously sad,' MountainWind000 commented, 'all these badass MFrs commenting and threatening each other over a selfie lake picture on Instagram.'

'it's the only way to reach each other if certain people are avoiding other certain people.'

'Calling each other out on soc med is the only way to go! That way, you can't avoid it! you're doing it in front of a bunch of people, so you have to act! LISTEN TO MY MIXTAPE located in the link in my bio, IF I FAIL AT THIS, I WONT WITH THIS SICCCCC BEAT' BadEDMforLYFE commented.

'in this day and age, if you can't hang on social media, then wtf are you doing with your life?' Doflamingo commented. 'GB. Hurry up. My home. Stat. Or Stan gets Cora's wrath.'

'Too late,' C0rawsaan said, including a picture of a gun, a coffin, and a cigarette.

'dic pics, noaw!' 69BonneyBabe69 said, along with an eggplant emoji.

"This is overwhelming," Sanji said aloud, looking up from his phone. In the span of only a few minutes, this entire thread had turned into something else. His phone kept vibrating with incoming notifications, and Law looked over at him with a frown. Sanji held it out to him, and Law took it, Bepo looking over his shoulder.

Then Law gave him an exasperated look. "First off, you're now in the public eye. Posting shit like this when we're trying to hide out isn't helping any. Those looking for us can guess this location, and come looking for us. Second, why are you friends with these people?"

"I haven't played with that application since I came back! I don't know what I'm doing, okay? I just thought taking pictures would be…helpful with me remembering things."

"We're not staying here long, anyway. Tell Zeff what you did, and what to expect. Then pack your shit. We're going back home before any of them can show up here."

"Senpai, please don't be so mean first thing in the morning," Bepo admonished.

"Fine," Sanji muttered, glaring at Law before stalking off, slamming the door behind him.

Law looked down at his phone, at the continuing conversations slash threats on Sanji's picture. Passing it to Bepo, he dictated a few things, Bepo making a face as he followed the order. Once the message registered to everyone on that thread, Sanji's phone blew up again with responses.

'LAW! You bastard! How dare you! In public!' Doflamingo shouted in all-caps.

'controlling jerk. Let's hope *you do before I find you,' Gin responded, along with skull emojis.

'You're such an ass, Law,' Nami responded. 'has sanji-babe been holding out lately, is that why your boxer-shorts are in a wad?'

'threatening me with a good time? : )' Robin commented.

'WTF? I can't imagine Blackleg talking like this, this must be his jailer,' SuperBigandBlue1 commented.

'you have to SHARE!' Ace commented, middle finger emoji up. 'you can't keep him to yourself!'

'Give him freedom! Let him be an individual!' DragonClaw007 said. 'you're so rude. You must not have a lot of things to do.'

'Shit, you've just reminded me how much I hate you,' Kid commented. 'God, I hate you so hard. You brutal bastard. Make your own account! PLEASE'

"Send us a dick pic!' 69BonneyBabe69 shouted in all caps, along with a sweating emoji and eggplant.

"I'm done. Delete that picture, that'll erase all the contents," Law said, walking back into the house as Bepo did as he'd ordered, shaking his large head with exasperation. Telling all the people commenting on Sanji's picture to 'suck a wart infested dick and die a flaming death in moving traffic on your way to your mom's house' wasn't a very nice thing to say.

Zeff was finishing up the dishes Sanji had been soaking in the sink, and when Sanji confessed to what he did, Zeff shrugged. "You'll be long gone by the time I get certain visitors. If they want to stay and chat, I'll welcome them. My guests should be gone by then. Go home and think about what I'd told you."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. Get some rest, it looks like you've been up all night. You'd better not be stressing over what was said."

"I'm not. I just…wish things were a little different."

"Sanji. Call me if you need anything. There's always room here for you and that mutt if you need to come back," Zeff told him sternly, wiping his hands on a paper towel. "If things grow worse, absolutely do not hesitate to come here. Or call me to come get you. There's no shame in coming home if things don't work out."

Sanji pulled his lips between his teeth, holding back all the denials and responses that he wanted to let fly – but he nodded instead, not knowing just how much better Zeff felt at that moment for that acknowledgement. He went upstairs to wake up Chopper and the other two. By the time all four of them came back downstairs, three of them bleary eyed and stumbling sleepily, complaining about the early hour, Zeff had made all six of them breakfast sandwiches for their trip back.

"Thank you for your hospitality!" Penguin and Shachi said in unison, bowing with sandwiches in hand.

"Thank you, Mr Redleg," Chopper said timidly, holding onto Sanji's leg.

"Thanks, old man. I'll let you know when we get there," Sanji said to him.

"I'll handle whoever comes this way. Don't worry about it," Zeff told him, reaching out to ruffle his hair affectionately. As they all tromped out the door with their bags, Chopper struggling to carry his suitcase, he followed them out.

He looked at Law, who was giving Sanji back his phone, looking foul tempered. When Sanji made to say something to him, he walked away, and Zeff reddened, intending on walking over to slap some sense into the man over what a child he was acting like. But he knew he'd come off in a similar manner. So he remained on the porch, and all of them piled into the truck. The polar bear waved at him meekly, then climbed into the truck before Zeff could return the gesture.

Law took a few steps towards him, just close enough to be heard. "Thank you for allowing us to stay here. I apologize for the inconveniences caused if anybody shows up."

"You could apologize for your damn attitude towards my grandson, who is nothing but appreciative and loving of your stupid ass. I don't know why."

"I don't know why, either," he heard Law mutter before climbing into the passenger side seat, Bepo maneuvering the truck away.

Back at home, Chopper lugged his suitcase to his room, while Sanji followed Law to the bedroom. He waited for Law to put down his sword, then reached over to help him out of his jacket. Chopper wanted to look it over, so after Law sat down, Sanji went to the bathroom and drew him a bath. Then returned to him, looking to assist in any other way that the other man needed.

The heavy silence between them made him uncomfortable.

"Can I have my cigarettes, please?" he asked.

"I'm still not happy," Law told him.

"What can I do to make you happy? For fuck's sake."

"Do you feel miserable?"

"Yes."

"I don't think you feel miserable enough."

Sanji glared at him, arms crossed tightly over his chest. "Please don't be this way. I'm tired of this. Can we go back to being friends, again?"

"I don't want to be friends with you."

"Then what can I do? What do I have to do to make you get over this?"

"There's nothing you can do."

Closing his eyes with exasperation, Sanji tried not to think of the times when they were kids, and Law was throwing a sullen fit in his room. But it was hard not to compare that time with this one. "Your attitude is just…please lose the attitude."

Law studied him for a few moments, then narrowed his eyes. "I don't have an attitude."

"Then what is it if it's not attitude?"

"It's a perception problem with you."

Incredulously, Sanji gaped at him. "How is this a 'perception problem' when you're acting like this? Everyone around us can agree that you have a fucking attitude!"

Law frowned as it appeared Sanji did not remember that he himself had uttered these same words to Law years ago. "Don't talk to me, then."

"I'm supposed to ignore you, then? I can't do that! I live with you!"

"Then don't live with me."

"You're such a fucking child. Don't say that, you're just saying spiteful things because you're hurt. I regret saying anything to you."

"You just regret getting caught."

Sanji sighed and made to walk away, to busy himself with cleaning, or starting food prep for lunch. "You're not being fair."

"How is this not being fair?" Law asked him, standing up and walking after him. "You know what's not fair? Is the dedication and loyalty I had towards you, all these years! Not even counting the ones we were together, it was before all that!"

Sanji had nothing to say to that. He looked down at his fingers, picking at his nails as guilt ate at his insides.

"When I thought this was going to be a forever thing, this happens. People kept telling me to pull back, to watch it because you're young – "

"Don't say it! I'm tired of hearing that!"

" – but I didn't listen to them, because I believed in you! But now, you tell me not to make big decisions, to not buy a house, because you're not sure if you'll even be around!"

"That's not what I meant! I don't know what I mean, anymore!"

"Then I find out you're playing paddy cake with a guy that's trying to intimidate us all into following their rules - ! How the fuck am I not supposed to feel any other way than being pissed?"

"…I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, I don't know what to say, or how to fix it."

"Then don't tell me I need to drop my fucking attitude!"

"I'm sorry. Look, I don't know what to do. At least tell me what to do, how do I fix this?"

"I don't know. But I don't need you in my face, telling me what I can't feel, or what I should be doing or how the fuck I should think about it. I don't even know what I want, right now. I want to leave you, but then I don't want to. I want to give this up because everyone is fucking right. For sure, I want you to feel the way that I do – "

"I do! And you can't just leave me because of this! Not after everything we've been through! Don't be such a stupid jerk!"

"Quit calling me names!"

"Don't throw around that stupid reasoning for breaking up! Because we're not! All over something only you made bigger with your goddamn imagination! Law! it's unacceptable! What the fuck is the entire point of all your struggles to get me where I am today if you're just going to walk away from it like a fucktard?"

"Looking at you pisses me off, and not seeing you pisses me off."

With exasperation, Sanji said, "Then decide on what you want to do! Because not everyone should have to suffer this stupid attitude of yours!"

"I just told you, I don't know!"

"Then figure it out! And don't even think of breaking up with me, because I won't let you. You can treat me like shit all you want, but I won't let you break up with me after everything you've done for me. I refuse to let you go because of your stupid insecurities."

"Stop telling me what to do and how to do it when you caused this problem in the first fucking place!"

"You're such a baby, I didn't do anything to actually deserve this! All I confessed to was admiring another man's looks, and nothing else. That's all. That's like looking at someone's picture – it means nothing. It means absolutely nothing. It doesn't mean I'm going to race off with him or be unfaithful – he touched me. He said these things to rile you up. And I don't even know what to say to fix it because, yes, they happened! I was only asking you for help and understanding because I'm all mixed up! For you to turn it around like I did some sort of crime – it's not fair! You're being fucking ridiculous!"

"How would you feel if you were in my shoes? How would you feel if I came up to you, and told you I liked, for example, Kid's ass in those leather pants he always wears?"

Sanji glared at him. "Very specific, considering what sort of a hard on he has for you. You went right for his name. Then, fine. I understand. All right? Now, shut up about it. You're being unreasonable."

"How is this 'unreasonable'?"

"Get over it!"

"Did you really just tell me to 'get over it'? Considering that you have to deal with that smug fuck because of your position?"

"What do you want me to do, goddamn it?"

Admittedly, Law didn't know what he wanted Sanji to do. He had been so wrapped up in his hurt that he lost track of what needed to be solved in order for him to get through this. It was surprising that it hit him this hard when Sanji had asked him repeatedly for an answer previously. The fact that he was just now focused on it made him feel stupid. Penguin was right – he let this consume him when there were other things he should have been focused on.

He turned away from him and returned to the room, and he heard Sanji give a snarl of frustration, stalking after him.

"I don't know. Fuck off," he said tightly, walking into the bathroom and slamming the door behind him, locking it.

He stood there for several moments, frustrated. He was angry because he felt betrayed. He felt hurt. He felt scared that Sanji would leave him. Feeling scared because it felt like everyone was against them being together. Feeling certain that he was holding this man back. Knowing he didn't want to go on alone without him, after being without him, after admitting that he needed to be with him. All these things, and he couldn't say any of it. He felt it wouldn't come out right.

He felt he had to strike out as maliciously as he did yesterday because he had to protect himself. He felt he had to be as intimidating and angry as possible to keep Sanji close, because wasn't that what men did to keep what they wanted close to them? Snarling at anything that threatened to take away their closest treasure?

Maybe he hadn't grown up. But that was the thing – Sanji knew this, and he stayed with Law despite it. He looked beyond it. He said all the wonderful things that Law just could not imagine coming from anyone else. Sanji looked at him, really saw Law for everything he was, rather than the physical object that everyone else did. And Law felt safe and happy and comfortable, and to have it taken away…he felt he had to be this way.

But Sanji said he'd fix it. How? How should he fix this?

In all the chaos of Law's feelings, he didn't even know what he wanted from Sanji at this point. Not to go. Not to think these things. Not to cave in to the others' demands. Not to accept the social pressure from those that left comments like they did on Instagram this morning. Not to accept that man's goddamn advances.

So what could he say to Sanji to fix it?

With a frustrated growl, he kicked off his shoes, then fumbled with his pants. He could climb out of those, but his shirt was going to give him problems. He paused in mid-shuffle, then glared at his reflection in the mirror. The shirt he had on was a simple tee, but Penguin had cut deep on that side to leave it as a muscle shirt, the other sleeve clinging to his shoulder and arm like a glove. He removed the sling, but the pain it caused as it forced his ruined arm to support its own weight was an uncomfortable sensation that made him cringe. He leaned back first against the counter, reaching for the collar of his shirt, then tugging upward. It took him a few moments of shuffling, twisting and cursing until he was able to toss it off.

"Let me help you," he heard Sanji growl from the other side of the door, obviously standing there.

"Fuck off!" Law snapped at him, flicking a shoe against the door.

He heard an answering thud as Sanji kicked the door himself, then silence.

Law then glared down at his pants, then looked at the bath. It was warm and inviting, and he knew he could handle it. But he should've let Bepo stay over, so the bear could wash his hair. Maybe he didn't need his hair washed, then. Fuck it. He wasn't going to impress anybody.

He looked at the bandages, then curled those fingers into a light fist. It took some effect, some gut clenching pain racing up and down the nerve endings there. He could feel the foreign weight and substance of the staples, the feel of unnatural 'silence' there. As if his arm wasn't his own.

"How are you going to get dressed, asshole?"

Law froze for a moment, then glowered at his reflection. He looked at the door again, and kicked it. "Get out of here! I need some fucking space!"

"Jerk! I was just trying to help!"

"I don't want your goddamn help!"

"Fine! You figure it out!"

He heard the bedroom door slam shut, shaking the walls. With a huff, he shuffled out of his pants and underwear, kicking them to the side. Then he approached the tub, and carefully climbed in. Sanji had put in a rubber mat that looked like goddamn moss, and while it felt amazing on his feet, it wasn't comfortable on his ass. All prickly and unnatural, so when he sat down on it, he winced and shifted about until he could rip the thing out and toss it on the floor. Then he sat there, considering the position he had to sit in. he couldn't lean back – it'd get his bandages wet. But it was uncomfortable just sitting there, when he really wanted a moment to think about things.

He grabbed the soap from the nearby dish, and watched it slip out of his hand, falling into the water. Growling, he shifted around until he could find it, then used it awkwardly on himself. It took a bunch of shuffling around and twisting, but once he felt somewhat satisfied, he tossed it onto the floor. Then sat there for some time, until the water grew cold, and his skin turned pruney. He still wasn't sure how to answer Sanji's question.

"Are you dead?" Sanji asked against the door, and Law reached behind him and threw one of the shampoo bottles at it. "Jerk!"

When he heard the bedroom door slam, Law glared at the soapy water around him. He found his answer as he sat there in silence. He knew what he wanted; he just wasn't sure how to say it. He leaned against the tub edge and managed to push himself up to his feet with an awkward movement, then grabbed a towel and wrapped it around himself, needing to use both hands to do so. After the pain throbbed to a slow ebb of discomfort, he dripped his way to the door and opened it, looking out to see if Sanji was out there.

He saw his clothes laid out on the bed – underwear, his favorite joggers, a muscle shirt, socks that doubled as slippers. With a heavy frown, he dressed carefully, struggling with each item. By the time he'd pulled on his socks – why the fuck had he never considered how hard it was putting a sock on with one hand - the door opened again, and he looked back with exasperation, rubbing the stinging pain from his arm after he'd used it to get everything on.

"You did it. Good job. I'm so proud of you," Sanji said sarcastically, coming around the bed to glare at him. Then he crouched in front of him, pulled on his left sock properly, and then automatically rolled up the hems of his joggers to rest right above his calf, where Law liked it. He just sat there, watching as Sanji fussed over the material with a glowering expression – not at the task, but having this attitude just for him. Then he stood up and grabbed his towel, reaching in to dry his hair.

Law sputtered and pushed back from him, snatching it from him. "I'm not a fucking child!"

"You're dripping all over your clothes! You're going to catch a fucking cold!"

"Goddamn it, I can do it by myself!"

Sanji straightened up and glared at him, obviously waiting to see him do this. Out of pure spite, Law settled the towel on his head and rubbed – it was a rather pathetic sight. He threw the towel at him in exasperation as Sanji struggled not to laugh at him, catching the material. He went and put it back in the bathroom, cleaned up the mess Law had made – meanwhile, Law just glared at him the entire time.

When he returned to him, he had a hairdryer in hand, intending on drying his hair that way. Law kicked it away from him, then regretted it, bending over to clutch his toes while Sanji retrieved the device and put it away, trying not to laugh.

"I just want you to love me," Law then said truthfully. "And not leave me. That's all I want you to do."

From the bathroom, Sanji gave a harsh exhale, a combination that might've been a chuckle or a breath of relief. He shut the cupboard door, where he'd put the hairdryer away. He returned to him with an upset expression, as if unsure what sort of face to make. "You stupid man. Of course I - !"

"But I feel that you don't. I feel that you'll leave once you have the chance, when you realize that everyone was right. That you can have better than me. Because, in actuality, there is a lot better than me out there. There are men that will treat you better and can give you everything that you want – "

"I don't want all that - !"

" – who won't feel the way I do if you even accept a look from another man. Who doesn't have a screwed up family, or a fucked up personality – when I think about it, I have the personality of an ass, and – "

"And you're now realizing it?"

" –who won't terrorize family pets with – "

"I'm not a pet!" Chopper cried tearfully, obviously unable to help but eavesdrop from his room nearby.

Sanji stooped to hug him tightly around the neck, giving a low sound of distress. He couldn't help but let his emotions speak for him, feeling Law touch him, then wrap his own arm around his shoulders, both of them leaning on each other heavily. He ended up sitting next to him on the bed, nearly on his lap, mindful of his other arm.

"Stupid stupid stupid man," Sanji said into his shoulder, sniffling, feeling uncontrollable tears wet Law's shirt. His fingers clenched into the material, scraping against his skin. He couldn't get close enough, feeling utterly relieved for this moment. "You're so stupid. Don't do this again. It hurts when you're angry at me."

"Could you not touch me with your eye sweat? It's really gross. I just said some of the most difficult things I could say, and you're dripping on me with your fluids."

Sanji bit his collarbone without lifting his head, sniffling, wiping his eyes on Law's shirt as he gave him a disgusted look. "You don't complain about my fluids when we're - !"

"I'm being serious, and all you can talk about is sex."

Sanji squeezed him tightly, wrapping his legs around his waist, his arms wrapping around his neck. "I forgive you for all the shitty things you said to me, yesterday."

With a shamed frown, Law did turn to face him, supporting himself with his good arm as Sanji laid on his back, not letting him go. He leaned down, unable to look Sanji in the eye at that moment – pressing his forehead against his wet cheek. "I apologize for that. That was…I was only…well, there's nothing to excuse it. It was a lot of things, and not any of it acceptable. I don't think that you should."

"Kiss me, jerk. You have some making up to do," Sanji murmured against his skin, guiding his mouth to his, and Law went with it, thinking that it was a little too easy to fix the mess that had been made because of things. He didn't think that it was fixed, but there was time to make up for it. Kissing Sanji, he felt a rush of relief hit him, because Sanji was so accepting and forgiving and he didn't hold back from expressing himself to him.

He kissed him back with desperate pressure, just mashing his mouth with his, then forced his lips open with a bite on his lip. Invaded his mouth with his tongue, tasting his teeth, the inside of his cheeks, and then seeking out his tongue. He took that, too, sucking on it, adjusting his body over his so that Sanji had to take the full weight of him. His good hand went to his face to wipe away the moisture there, then to his hair, pulling on it, his forearm resting alongside his head.

He felt Sanji's hands on him, curled up to his shoulders as he fitted himself against him, knees on his waist, heels resting atop of his ass. Law kissed every bit of his mouth that he could, tightening his grip on his hair then forcing him to look away, so he could move down the length of his cheek. Smelling him –some mixture of smoky cream and sunshine – he reached his ear. Took his earlobe into his mouth and felt his dick harden beneath him as Sanji gave a low noise, pushing up against him. Sanji's hands left his hair and went to his waist, to pull his hips in close as his legs tightened around him.

Caught up in the feel of him, wanting badly to be close to him again, Law said low, "I want to fuck you. I want to be in you."

"Haah…I need you, too," Sanji replied, pushing up against him, seeking friction to soothe the physical want that had become suddenly urgent, all part of the making up process.

"Ew. Really? And how are you going to accomplish anything with that arm?" Chopper asked from the edge of the bed, frowning at them both with his hands on his hips. "This is not acceptable activity. You'll need to wait at least a week before you engage in any fornication, or else you'll rip the stitches!"

Sanji shoved Law off him with a mortified expression, hands covering his tented pants. Law fell off the bed with the force Sanji used, causing a curse to leave him, both Chopper and Sanji wincing.

: :

That afternoon, Kaku frowned at his iPad, meandering through all the social media accounts of the syndicates, surprised at just how active they were, today. After this morning's fiasco on Sanji's Instagram account, he'd decided to spend the time creeping through the other's just to see what they were up to. Lucci was glaring out the window with Hattori nestled into his hair, and Jabra was snoring loudly on the couch bed nearby. Califa was playing on her laptop, and Lucci didn't know why they had to be in here with him.

"Why is it that almost everyone has an account? It astounds me how much of a follower base all of them have," Kaku muttered, skimming his way through Luffy's pictures, but he took sloppy pictures of food and bugs – one picture looked suspiciously like a spider lounging in weed, but maybe it was moss.

"It's the best way to reach their customers," Hattori said. "Duh."

"Oh, now, let's not be so surly. Admittedly, that is a great idea. But not all of them have this power. The younger generation uses it like a weapon, much like Doflamingo. If you look at his account, it's ridiculously rich – his fan base is insane. He's practically a celebrity, and all because he does this stupid stuff. It's no wonder he's so reveled. Kids love him."

"Which is straight up retarded."

"Someone's in a mood," Califa commented, pushing her glasses up, looking over. "How are you, today, Rob? Feeling a little more put together?"

"I should be able to walk, soon," Lucci told her.

"The doctors are confident that you'll be fine in another week. Spandem feels he should keep you out for a little longer than that."

"I'll kill him if he does."

"Consider your wellbeing, man," Kaku said gently. "That move sliced through your insides. I'm surprised the team was able to put you back together."

"It was only a light scratch."

"Shut up," both Califa and Kaku said together.

"How did the meeting go between yourself and Crocodile?" Lucci asked him, finding the remote to the bed, and pressing a button. As it allowed him to sit up with some effort, Kaku logged out of his account. Then logged into Lucci's before handing it to him.

"Not good. He was pissed that we'd showed up without arranging a meeting, first. Not that he has anything to hide, he's just a real prickly guy. He felt we were intruding into his personal business. His casino does amazing with profits, and he really has nothing to hide. So…we left after the first show of temper, just to keep the peace."

"Pussies," Lucci sneered, before looking down at the iPad. Once he found what he was looking for, setting the notifications alert for all of Sanji's accounts, he then started looking through the Strawhats' accounts. Every one of them was up to date – save for Zoro, whose last post was a Thanksgiving picture showing off Nami's bracelet and the mess Luffy made with his mash potatoes, and Sanji's, since Law deleted his first picture in years this morning – and none of them mentioned their activities for today. He tossed it aside, a little frustrated. He knew he'd almost taken off Law's arm – he'd felt the snap of bone, tore away flesh and muscle – but there was no mention of the man anywhere.

He wanted to know just how bad off he was compared to him. But he was comfortable admitting that Law being one-armed in their next battle was Lucci's advantage. This time, he'd take off his head.

Not because of the man Law was lucky enough to have, but because it was only business. If he could help eliminate that group altogether, there would be perfect harmony with only those involved with the syndicate world. Nothing to interfere or throw off or invade with total freedom and ability. He might be Corazon's son, but rules were made for a reason, and Law kept breaking them, causing unsettled actions within the syndicates because of his selfish actions. Admittedly, while they were mostly rules broken for Sanji's wellbeing, they were still rules being broken and it permitted continued lawlessness.

"Crocodile is actually a scary man when he's pissed," Kaku admitted. "I watch Doflamingo's videos with him all the time, and I still don't see how he manages to escape that man's wrath."

"Doflamingo is an idiot, and those tend to last longer than an average man. Once I am mended, I will make the rounds necessary. You shouldn't be too soft on these men. They fail to follow rules, they need an iron fist to keep them in check."

"This isn't about ruling a kingdom or whatever, Lucci. This is about making sure people are cooperative with each other. We all need to get along. Like Zeff did."

Lucci frowned, Hattori moving to a more comfortable position on the bed, feathers flurrying about. "I don't know how he did it," he said, more to himself.

"Age is a factor. They respected him because of it. He was more involved in this world before he even came to the states, so they trusted him to know how their world works. He didn't try to change anybody – he just expected them to follow a rule, and if they didn't, he got rid of them without negotiation."

"Isn't it ironic? I thought about this more than once. That the same family Zeff watched eliminated for their potential in power was the inspiration behind us?"

"Not exactly," Califa said, drawing her chair closer to the bed, shifting the laptop onto the edge of the bed. Kaku saw that she'd captured security screen shots of Shachi and Penguin in an effort to get their faces on record. She was only able to get a glimpse of Penguin's vague profile and Shachi's hair covered face that really gave them nothing solid. She was running what she could with their pictures to others in an image identifying database, and all the hits she received were from Japanese actors.

"Zeff hadn't meant it to be this way. We are not the Vinsmokes. They were a different breed from us. Their snobbish lust for power is not something that we share. We want things to be fair and equal, run correctly. I saw the very same records as you did, Rob. We're nothing like them."

"Imagine if they were still alive today," Lucci said. "What they'd bring to this world. I'm pretty sure they'd be their own crime family. Bigger than us."

"You're obsessed with them."

"Not in the way that you think. I'm more of the challenge. Right now, as it is, we're above everyone in terms of power and control. No one is truly safe if we chose to invade their space. They could fight us, but only if they knew we were there. How many operations have we completed where our subjects hadn't even known we were there until we'd killed them?"

"All of them. None of these people even recognized us when they saw us at the meeting," Kaku said. "But – "

"Blackleg mentioned a 'Hiluluk', so I looked into that name. It was the name of a woman whose family was tied into the faction that killed the Vinsmokes years ago. A quack doctor with direct ties to the Vinsmokes. He was also involved with the White Rabbit and the Tea Party."

"I don't think I've heard that name, before. Was he involved with the syndicates?"

"No. I pulled up his files, and he was an asylum director for this town a few hours away. Which made sense, given Blackleg's disappearance. Hiluluk's wife was one of the persons that Zeff slaughtered to keep them from bothering the only survivor of the Vinsmoke family, so of course, Hiluluk had some reservations about it. Whatever he did to Blackleg to mess up his head caused him to be this person, today. I found it interesting that whatever hallucinogen he forced him to ingest to ruin his mind that way was also connected with the Vinsmoke's abilities out in the field. If there is such ability where the users are rendered invincible to perform a job, what other sort of feats were they capable of?"

"You're not interested in power for yourself, Rob," Kaku pointed out. "Because you're the worst one out of all of us."

"I'm not interested in that sort of power. I'm not interested in false actions. Just…if there is still that sort of power running around today, subdued and contained, what is the potential in it if it were released?"

Kaku studied him for a bit. "You're obsessed."

"We saw a little of it the other day. What other person do you know that could tear down a building with his goddamn feet? Other than Roronoa's ability to cut through almost anything?"

"And…so? What about it?"

"Rob's thinking with his pee-pee again," Jabra said, sitting up with a loud yawn. "That's what this is about. I've seen him drooling in public whenever Blackleg's around. Which is pretty gross, considering that he's not even – "

Hattori attacked him, and Jabra cried out, waving his arms around frantically as feathers fluttered everywhere. Rob gave him a patient look. "Hattori. Naughty."

Kaku rolled his eyes. "C'mon."

"Look. Fine. So I might be personally interested – "

"'Might' isn't the word we're using, here, because it's wrong," Califa said firmly.

"Fine. Yes. He's my type. I want him. For a night. Or two. Maybe six."

"There we go, the truth comes out," Califa commented, looking proud of him.

"But the rest of it is true, too. I am interested in the other aspects of it. But, it's not to say that – "

"Instead of doing this whole denial thing, why don't you do this normally, like normal humans?" Kaku asked him with immense exasperation. "We're already aware of how you operate. Instead of going to war with them like you normally would, why don't you just…I don't know, send flowers, instead?"

"Kaku, this is wrong," Califa admonished. "Blackleg is happily taken. We shouldn't encourage Rob like this."

Kaku gave her a skeptical look. "Were you looking at the same post I was this morning? We all have to admit, Law isn't the most…functional human being. He's everything wrong about a human being when it comes to manners and – "

"And how's he different from Lucci?" Jabra asked suspiciously, spitting out feathers. "Because I'm pretty sure you just described him, too."

Kaku didn't have an answer, sweating once Lucci frowned at him for not having a response.

"Uh…"

"Rob has his good points. He just needs the right person to bring them out," Califa said with a firm nod. To Lucci, she said, "Ask him on a date. And make him bring Shachi with him. We can double."

"You're like, ten feet tall compared to Shachi," Kaku said. "And not you, too! What is with you people and liking people you know you can't have?"

"We're goddamn assassins, goddamn it! We don't have the opportunity to choose normal when it comes to dates!" Jabra snapped at him, standing dramatically. "Why do you think I go after waitresses and strippers? Because that's all that will hang out with me!"

"Liar! That's just your preference! You like throwing money around!"

"Well, I do, but it also makes me feel bad ass, too." Wiping off one palm, as if making it rain, Jabra said, "I'll support you, you, you, your three kids…and you, dance, mama, dance for me, work for your college education..."

"You're disgusting."

"I like small men. It makes me feel powerful," Califa added with a shrug. Cradling her arms to her chest, she said, "I can hold them to me like babies and love them and take care of them and make them call me 'mama' – "

"Why am I just learning this about you people?" Kaku cried in horror.

"Back to me, now," Lucci interrupted. "What were you saying about dating 'normally'?"

"I don't want to participate in this conversation, anymore," Kaku muttered, looking forlorn.

"Why are you asking the virgin, anyway?" Jabra asked. "Look, if you want to date someone 'normal', let's plan it. First off, there's this thing called 'woo-ing'. Are you aware of it?"

"That's stalking them on social media and avoiding hitting 'Like' for a post they'd put up three years ago," Califa said brightly.

"That's following them on the streets while not letting them know you're watching them – just so you can learn what they're like without scaring them," Lucci said with an intense expression.

"That's romancing them through humorous emails and tagging them on memes on their Facebook pages, disguised as someone non-threatening," Kaku commented.

Jabra worked his jaw as he considered their answers, rubbing his chin. "Wow. We're all stupid."

"I think it's just you," Lucci told him.

"Look! Okay! If you want to do this the right way, you have to convince Blackleg that leaving Law is the right thing to do. How are you going to do that?"

"Kill him."

"Take off his other arm."

"Deport him back to wherever Corazon found him."

"NO!" Jabra shouted impatiently. "We have to do this the normal way! Healthy competition. It doesn't involve killing, strangulation, maiming, deporting, slandering. It involves good old flower deliveries. Candle light dinners. Flavored lube and underwear for those unpleasant moments."

"There it is…"

"What? C'mon, that's great advice!"

"Do men use dental dams?" Califa asked. "For certain areas?"

"…What."

"But I like the smell of him. He's very clean," Lucci said.

"It involves phone conversations! Actual conversation! Like, 'Hi. What's up? What's your interests? What's your goals for life? Want to exchange Netflix passwords?' That sort of thing. Not anything threatening…"

"I'm watching you is nice, because it's assuring him that he isn't alone."

"I like your post from January is a good one, too, because it means you're interested in his life."

"Oh, wow, NO! Disregard that!"

"This is difficult when none of us knows how to 'woo'," Hattori said with a scratch of his head.

"We might need some help."

"Call Spandem."

"Are you serious? 'Spandem'? The guy that wears floral prints and doesn't bother fixing his hair? The one that uses for lunch dates? And GoFish? And Tinder? Swipe right."

"Then who do we ask?"

Kaku frowned. "We're going to need some outside help. Califa."

"Right away," she said, shutting her laptop and then marching off.

Jabra reached out and patted Lucci's knee. "We will help you woo Blackleg properly. But first, you've got to trust us. And no more trying to kill Law, because it's only making them closer. Right now, as we speak, Blackleg is probably babying the hell out of him. That draws in the feminine instinct, you know. Wanting to care for another person."

"I don't think he's feminine at all, to be honest," Kaku said. "I don't even know him that well. He rarely speaks in public. And he might dress…interesting…but I don't see him using feminine movements. Then again, he does hold that little mutant to him like he would with a kid, but a lot of men do that with their children."

"But I bet he's the girl in the relationship, just from the way he let Law fight for him that one day. And he doesn't even fight that much – the others step in for him."

"Who knows? Maybe Law likes being secretly dominated, and Blackleg's the aggressor in the bedroom."

"No, he doesn't," Lucci assured him.

"How do you know? Don't tell me, you've walked in – "

"I'm not that crass. I'd probably just end up killing them both out of spiteful jealousy."

"There's a lot of killing going on here. Maybe we should watch Nicholas Sparks movies, again."

"I only say that because of the way he fights. He's very aggressive, cunning, but he's very self-conscious of himself. Physical contact isn't something he's wild about. Meanwhile, when Blackleg's fighting, he'll use any part of his body for contact that allows him up close and personal for his use. His physical comfort indicates that he's – "

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, fighting styles matter."

"I just think that if you're trying to get his attention, you should do it in another way," Kaku said. "The last guy you chased…well…that didn't end up well."

"In the end, his weakness was his own undoing."

"In the end, it was your damn excitement that killed him. Literally."

"Ah, yeah, there was that…"

"SO! Let's say this," Jabra interrupted, hitting Lucci's shin with one palm. "In my experience, the first thing I want these girls to notice about me is my looks. Am I manly enough? Do I carry myself with confidence? Are these hairs on fleek?"

"I'm sure I don't have that problem," Lucci said. "He's noticed me."

"Then part of the battle is won! Second thing. What about yourself appeals to him?"

Hattori shrugged. Lucci shrugged.

Jabra studied him for a few moments, Kaku tilting his head as they looked at him with thoughtful consideration. "It's probably not your hair. Law's hair is short."

"Your facial hair is on fleek, though."

"Stop saying 'on fleek'."

"Let's return to this at a different time. Your personality…"

Jabra and Kaku looked at each other, then said in unison, "Moving on."

Lucci frowned at them. "What's wrong with my personality?"

Jabra laughed hysterically while Kaku wrinkled his forehead.

"Are you seriously asking that of us? Your friends? Your comrades? The ones that don't judge you to your face?"

"Or the ones that will tell you to your face that your personality sucks!" Jabra chuckled. "It's like taking up a conversation with a goddamn rabid animal. 'Why does nobody love me?' Because you fucking kill them, is why!"

Lucci frowned slightly.

"And besides, I'm really hesitant on doing this. He's with someone. Homewrecking isn't cool," Kaku said, tapping his index fingers together with anxious action.

"It's not homewrecking if Lucci's got a foot in the door. After all, Law got so pissed when Lucci told him he did a little touchy-touchy and Blackleg was up to it. Maybe they have an open relationship? They do that, nowadays. What's wrong with these kids? What's wrong with monogamy?" Jabra cried, unable to understand it – totally ignoring what he was contributing to. Kaku frowned at him with judgment.

"Besides, why should someone so young be tied down so soon?" Lucci asked with a slight pout.

"How old is he?" Jabra asked suddenly. "He's legal, right? At least? Jesus, aren't you older than Law?"

"This is another discomfort I feel. With your experience, why pick someone that young?" Kaku asked.

"It doesn't matter."

"But your personalities probably won't even – "

"It wasn't his personality that caught my eye. Idiot."

"Step back, Kaku. This is my area of expertise!" Jabra said, standing up and pushing his chair noisily away from Lucci's bed.

"Gladly," Kaku mumbled, crossing his arms over his chest with a frown.

"Standard wooing is important, even if you do intend on it being a one night stand! If you want to woo correctly, you must get him to look at you. Pay attention to you. Notice you. Instead of trying to kill his boyfriend, kill his issues with loyalty. Kill his faithfulness. Stab him. Hit him with your car. That way, he can't go anywhere. He'll have to notice you – "

"That is horrible advice!" Kaku cried incredulously. "Listen to yourself!"

"I am. It's a pretty amazing plan. If this guy is as awesome as you say he is, he'll keep himself from dying. Essentially. But at least he'll notice Rob."

"I won't stab vital areas," Lucci assured Kaku. "Just enough to make him bleed out to a point where he has to depend on my quick medical attention, forcing him to like me."

"NO STABBING! You want him to like you, right?"

Lucci thought about it. "I suppose that's the goal. I'm not looking for a relationship. I just want – "

"Stay out of this, Kaku. Let the men speak," Jabra said firmly, hands on hips.

"I am a man."

"Either way, I just…I think if he notices me, then I'm halfway there. I just need to convince him that I am a good candidate for very rough, hot, violent – "

"Stop!" they both cried.

" – combat. What? What did you think I was going to say?"

"Nothing," Kaku said nervously.

"My way hasn't been working very well. After visiting his place that he shares with Law, it'll be difficult to convince him otherwise. The pictures on the walls suggest a very loving relationship. And their families are intermingled. It'll be a struggle to convince him to look my way." Lucci steepled his hands together, resting his chin atop of his fingers. "But I'm sure with some waterboarding and psychological warfare, he'll realize that his relationship is a farce, and will want to turn to me for comfort, considering that I will be the only one to administer this slightly tilted level of pain and pleasure."

Kaku and Jabra thought about it for a few moments. Hattori preened, then fluttered, waddling over Lucci's legs to nestle close to his thigh. He looked down at him, petting him gently. Then he looked up.

"That little mutant he cares for. He's very soft towards him. If I can worm my way in through him, I'm sure I'll succeed."

"Brilliant!"

"Great idea!"

"Don't kill it."

"Please don't eat it. If he cares for it, eating it is out of the question."

"Rude," Lucci muttered.

"I hope you all are discussing murder in here," Spandem said, strolling in with jacket over his arm. "Where's Califa? And Blueno? We have a meeting, right now."

"Murdering someone's ass!"

"What? Gross." Spandem frowned at Jabra while he was given a pair of dark looks from his comrades. "I need an update on your recovery, Lucci. Will you be ready to stand and look intimidating for Friday's meeting with Doflamingo?"

"Most certainly."

"Excellent."

"Boss, hypothetically…how would you woo someone?" Kaku asked curiously.

Spandem snorted. "Swipe right and hope they don't ditch you when they agree to meet up. Then show off my money. My Rolex helps, too. Oh, and brag about my yacht. Bitches love yachts."

Jabra pointed at him, looking at Lucci. "This guy has it. Maybe you should listen to his advice."

"Lucci, the important thing to remember is that money talks!" Spandem said grandly. "Show it off! You work hard for it!"

"I haven't been paid in quite awhile," Lucci reminded him darkly.

The awkward silence in the room made Hattori coo softly.

"Well, you have a nice house, right? Show off your maintained yards! Show off those rose bushes you like to keep. Bitches love roses. In fact, show off your kitchen! Take pictures of that boring place of yours! Women love seeing houses, and how men live," Spandem said.

"Spandem…do you pay attention to our lives?" Jabra asked curiously.

"No. Quite honestly, no. Why? Should I?"

"YES."

"Did I miss something?"

"About a thousand different plot points!"

"Never mind," Lucci said. "I'll do this myself."

"Are you sure?" Spandem asked. "I'm sure I can provide some type of assistance."

"I think you've given him plenty of good advice," Kaku said cautiously. "Right, Lucci?"

"No."

"Well, then, good luck," Spandem said with a huff. "Can't say I didn't try. Now…what…what were you guys talking about in the first place?"

"Never mind. I'm over it."

With a look of frustration, Spandem's face grew red. Then he cleared his throat and said, "Let's commence with the meeting, then."

"I'm tired. I need to rest. All this excitement has left me feeling terribly exhausted," Lucci said, finding the remote to his bed and resetting the level.

"Okay. Well. You two, come along. We'll have Califa and Blueno meet us at Applebee's. I'm starved."

"Would you like anything?" Kaku asked Lucci.

Lucci waved him off, looking out the window with a thoughtful expression, Hattori settling on his shoulder. The three left the room, Jabra muttering, "Yeah, right, like any of that stuff will help him, anyway."

"Let's be positive! You just don't know until you try, right?"

"What are you guys talking about? Tell me!"

: :

Sanji shivered, feeling it from his mid torso to his head as his spoon hesitated in mid-air from Law's open mouth. Chopper was just looking at them with disgust, sure that Law wasn't that helpless, in that he couldn't feed himself. Ever since they made up, the pair kept touching each other, and even at the dinner table, over lunch, Sanji was sitting in his lap and feeding him tomato soup like the man couldn't do it himself. For some reason, this was acceptable behavior between them.

"Just got the heebie-jeebies," he said, pulling his spoon back as Law moved to bite down on it. A moment later, he sneezed soundly over Law's head.

"You got your snot juice all over me!" Law growled with a look of disgust, as Sanji patted his sneeze-germs from that wild black fluff.

"Someone might've been talking about me, again," Sanji said, stuffing the spoon into his mouth without looking. He then asked, "Where's my phone? Did I forget to do something, today?"

"Weren't we supposed to meet Zoro today? To meditate?" Chopper asked, looking excited about it.

"Ah, right, yeah, and I promised Luffy I'd go meet with him, too. But I'd…rather not if you can't go anywhere," Sanji then said, looking at Law's arm with concern.

"It'll be fine. I'm feeling too tired to do anything, anyway," Law said, hand creeping over Sanji's ass, sliding into his pants pocket. Sanji swatted that hand off him as he gave Chopper an embarrassed look, but the reindeer was too focused on his food to even notice. "But not too tired when it comes to certain things."

"Chopper, Ussop said he had a cartoon marathon he wanted to share with you," Sanji remembered brightly.

"That's great! I'd love to see what he has!" Chopper said excitedly.

"How convenient!" Law exclaimed hand up to immediately teleport him there when Sanji slapped it down, sliding off his lap.

"I'll run him over there, then check in with Zoro," Sanji said, ripping of his apron, then hurrying off to find his phone, eager to get the reindeer off to the sitter's.

Once he was gone, Chopper looked at Law suspiciously, the man frowning down at his bowl, as if he couldn't feed himself.

"No strenuous activity!" he advised firmly. "You'll pop your stitches. Then it'll take even longer for you to heal!"

"I promise, he'll do all the work."

"It's okay to help out with an occasional chore, just don't push it."

"I'll restrain myself."

"Also, I hate to say it, but refrain from any sexual activity while you're on these meds. You can make Sanji sick if you both are exchanging body fluids. What I'm using is meant for healing grave injury – a healthy person can get sick from the extra protein, and it might cause discomfort in certain orifices. It's fine on you, but if he were to receive, he might become ill with an uncomfortable infection."

Law stared at him with rising venom, mouth bracketing with tension. "…I need a new throw rug, and you're absolutely perfect for the shitter!"

"Stop!"

"You'll taste delicious in the fucking stewpot!"

"Sanji! He's threatening to cook me again!" Chopper hollered, then snapped at him, "Just use a condom, you bastard!"

Law shrugged, figuring Sanji could pick some up on his way back from Ussop's. Then he figured he might as well as go anyway, because Sanji might get embarrassed with the task and not get the right kind. Annoyed at the hassle it took just to plot their damn sex life, he stabbed his spoon into his tomato soup, hoping nothing else came up today.