Love-

Love, is such a fickle thing. It gives you the highest highs, and the lowest lows. Love hurts, love heals. Love transcends all. It knows no race, age, gender, or creed. Love is blind, love is deaf. Love makes you see the world through rose colored glasses. You could conquer anything and everything with love.

Love could also break you, and make you feel worthless, and weak.

Never had Callie felt so completely raw, broken, and empty in her life. She should have known better than to think she could just be fuck buddies with Arizona. She knew the minute she met her she wanted something more, something bigger, with the blonde. And the amazing, mind blowing sex only led to deeper feelings, it only led to love. Because it was more than sex. She could feel it every time they touched. It was beyond physical, no matter how animalistic or "rough" or wanton the encounters were. She connected with Arizona on a spiritual level.

And she knew Arizona felt it too.

Still, the blonde refused to admit it. And that's why Callie had to stop what was going on, or push the blonde to get past whatever it was that made her set those stupid, stupid rules in place. She had confessed her feelings to Arizona, in hopes of reciprocation. But, she knew the risk she was taking, and when Arizona reacted the way she did, she knew she had to end it.

That was four days ago. Four agonizingly long and painful days. She had chosen to end the little liaison they had going, but it didn't make her heart hurt any less. So, that's how she found herself here waiting for her red headed friend in an expensive hotel bar at one of Addison's many New York City hotels.

There were several conferences being held in the hotel at the time, and Addison wanted to make sure they went off without a hitch start to finish. Callie could have stayed home and waited for her, but then she'd just cry, and she was tired of crying. She just didn't want to do it anymore. In public, she could push her feelings aside for a while.

It was busy in the hotel, busier than Callie had ever seen it. Her eyes watched the world around her, it was still moving, people were still living. Two women were strolling arm in arm sharing a private joke and laughing. A young couple was seated next to each at the back of the lounge sharing whispered words, and loving glances. The bar was bustling with happy, smiling people. Happiness was still all around her, but it wasn't within her. And while the world around her kept on moving hers had completely stopped.

"Can I have another?" She asked the bartender with a soft, sad smile.

She had been sipping on whiskey neat. Not her first drink of choice, but it was just the right drink to ease her pain. It was a slow numb instead of a forceful one, and she didn't want to be completely hammered when Addison decided to join her, so they could start "operation de-funk Callie." As Addison put it.

"Sure thing. Rough day?" The striking young bartender asked with a smile.

"You could say that." Callie breathed out as she played with the rim of her empty whiskey glass.

She spun around on her barstool and let her eyes once again take in her surroundings. "So that piano over there, does anyone ever play it?" She asked noticing the baby grand in the corner.

"Very rarely." The man behind the bar shrugged. "It's such a shame too..." He smiled.

Taking her offered drink he had placed down, Callie slammed it back. The warm liquid slightly burned on its journey down, but it was a welcome burn. She eyed the piano with interest, and decided now that her liquid courage was taking effect she was going to play.

It had been a while since she tickled the ivories. She learned to play as a child. She learned appreciation for it as a teen, and then found a cathartic release in playing it as an adult. Although it has been many long years since she had played in front of anyone other than her family, or more recently Arizona, she took a risk. She had nothing to lose, she was already broken, maybe this could help start to heal her.

Her fear of public speaking, was at the depths of her thoughts. It was buried way down deep. Not only was she slightly buzzed from the amber liquid she had consumed, but her heartbreak left her completely numb, at least at this point in time. She literally felt nothing, she didn't even feel sad at the moment. This was a new stage in her "grieving" process.

First she was unbelievably sad. This was of course her own doing, she was the one to end it, but had she kept things going the way they were going, she would only fall harder, fall deeper. So she took the risk, and then instantly regretted it when it left her alone.

Second was anger. So unbelievably angry at herself for thinking she could change Arizona's way of thinking, and mad at Arizona for being so amazing that she was sure she'd never find anyone to replace her. No one could make her feel like Arizona, and now that was lost forever

Third was denial. She flat out started denying her feelings for the blonde. She dulled the pain with a nice bottle of vodka, which she hated. She hated using alcohol as a coping mechanism, yet she did it. Mark had to carry her to bed. That wasn't embarrassing.

Fourth stage just hit. Complete numbness, and emptiness. That feeling of wanting to feel something, anything. Even if it was pain, because at least the pain let you know you were still alive.

She knew Addison was going to grill her about this, like Meredith had earlier that day. She couldn't talk to Meredith about it then, and she wasn't sure if she could talk to Addison about it now. But, what she was sure of, was she was going to play that piano, and she was going to get drunk, good and drunk on a Tuesday night. And she was going to take someone home. Yep, that's what she was going to do.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

The only light coming from 154 attorney street, apartment 5 D, was the one coming from Arizona's laptop. The laptop that has gotten her through all of this years classes, and half of last years. But this time she was using it for a completely different reason.

This time she wasn't using it for writing a paper, or research. She was using it to load music on an iPod she spontaneously bought, because she was going to let the music tell Callie how she felt.

She couldn't find the words, and quite honestly she felt like she screwed up... Bad! So she was going to hopefully let the music do the talking, because she was in love with the one and only Calliope Torres, and she was going to do whatever it took to get her in her life, and keep her there.

Hopefully it wasn't too late.

"Florida is way too humid this time of year!" Teddy said, swinging open the front door and disturbing the otherwise quiet dwelling. "And if I saw one more woman over sixty in a thong I was going to puke... I don't even wear a thong on the beach!" She joked, dropping her bags to the floor.

"So you had fun then?" Arizona asked with a slight smirk. She was hurting on the inside, but she was also glad to see her roommate and best friend.

Teddy crossed the room and plopped down dramatically on the couch. "Yeah, but what's with the dark vibe going on in here?" She asked leaning her head on Arizona's shoulder.

Arizona sighed deeply. She hadn't told Teddy about what had happened between her and Callie this past Friday. In fact she avoided it at all costs because she didn't want to hear the "I told you so" speech, and because it was painful. She had spent most of her weekend in tears.

But, there was only so long she could avoid it, and Teddy was persistent. Besides, it might help to have someone else's point of view for once.

"Callie told me she loved me." Arizona said in a quick rush of words.

"And you freaked." Teddy said shaking her head without even blinking. "She's great Arizona! I don't know why you even have those stupid rules." She sighed.

"I didn't freak, I froze. Well first I snapped at her. And then she told me she loved me and I froze." Arizona defended. Her eyes were focused on the computer, but she could still feel Teddy's gaze on her.

"You froze? She confessed her love and you froze?" Teddy enquired

"Yeah." Arizona sighed, her eyes finally meeting Teddy's. There was sadness and hurt behind them, and Teddy could see it all written across her best friends face. Had Arizona Robbins finally fallen for someone?

"Well... How do you feel? I mean about her, how do you feel?" Teddy asked, perking up.

"I love her... I have fallen for her, and I'm hoping I didn't blow it. I think I did..." Arizona confessed letting a tear fall. "You should have seen the look on her face." She said shaking her head before wiping away her tear. "I love her Teddy. I haven't even told her those words, but I love her. I've been holed up here for four days trying to think of a way to tell her this. I- I... God, Teddy I love her." She said whole heartedly.

Teddy was shocked. She had never seen Arizona this way. Not even after her breakup with Lauren. The smaller blonde looked so sad, defeated, and even maybe a little hopeful? She too hoped Arizona didn't completely blow this. "You have to tell her! It's never to late... Why are you still sitting here?!" She asked in a hyper manner.

"I'm making her a playlist of songs to tell her how I feel. I've spent most of this weekend on it, and I'm almost done." Arizona said at almost a whisper. Suddenly the idea seemed cheesy, and it really sounded odd out loud.

Teddy smiled, her eyes glittering with the light off of the computer. "I think that's wonderful. I'd totally forgive you if you wronged me after that." She slightly smirked in a teasing manner. "Now finish that up, and we are going to meet my sister for drinks at her hotel."

Arizona sighed deeply. The last thing she wanted to do was go out for drinks, especially on a Tuesday night. "I don't think I feel like it." She shrugged.

"This isn't a negotiation. I haven't seen you for days, you need to tell me all the details, and Tiffany really wants to see you." Teddy said firmly. "Besides, I know you haven't done anything all weekend, I can see it on your face, and you don't have class tomorrow. Up... Put on a pretty dress, put some makeup on, relax, and then tomorrow go get your girl!" She smirked before disappearing into her room.

"My girl." Arizona thought with a smile. How she hoped to call Callie her girl. How she hoped she hadn't completely blown it.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

"I'm so sorry that took so long!" Addison said, taking the seat next to Callie at the bar.

"Oh- uh... It's ok." Callie said coming out of her daze. She was just about to make her way over to the piano before her friend had interrupted her thoughts.

"I know I said we could leave and go do something, but one of the conferences is running long. Would you mind terribly if we just sat here and got drunk for free?" Addison asked with a small smile.

"Drunk is drunk." Callie returned the smile. She was already feeling a slight buzz. And it was just enough to keep her comfortably numb.

"What are you drinking there? That's not the norm." Addison said arching one of her perfectly shaped eyebrows. "Is that whiskey?"

Callie nodded her head as she absentmindedly spun the cup around a few times letting air seep into the liquid. "Tequila and vodka have had their turn this week." Callie said letting out a humorless laugh.

Addison sighed, this wasn't really completely out of character for her friend. Not to be drinking to drown out some of the pain, but to be drinking this much was kind of worrisome. "Cal... That's not healthy. I'm here if you need to talk, you know that."

"I know," Callie breathed out. "I blew it I fucking blew it. Why can't I ever just leave well enough alone?" She shook her head.

"You didn't blow it." The red head said shaking her head. She wasn't one hundred percent what had happened, but she knew her friend well enough that she gathered Callie was talking about Arizona.

"She didn't want anything more then sex from me... And I agreed to it. I agreed to it because she's amazing, and beautiful, and funny. And underneath her guarded self, she's so caring and gentle. I thought I could change her." Callie blurted out. The alcohol was definitely making her feel brave, open, and honest.

"Cal..." Addison had started, before she was cut off.

"I had been having the worst day," The Latina began. "I ran into Felix. I was having dinner with some of the buyers for "Barneys", and he was a few tables over." She shook her head at the memory. "I caught his eye completely on accident, and the next thing I knew he was talking to me." Callie shuddered.

"Wow... You haven't mentioned him in a while." Addison said wide eyed.

"I hadn't thought of him in a while." Callie shrugged. "I tried to avoid him, but as I was leaving he grabbed my wrist and asked me if I wanted to have a drink with him. "For old times sake."" Callie said rolling her eyes and using her fingers to make air quotes. "I tried to tell him no, but his grip just got tighter, so I walked to the bar with him."

"How was it? Was it weird?" Addison asked genuinely interested

"Very," Callie confessed. "And the whole time I'm sitting there with him, all I can think of is Arizona. This guy, the one I was supposed to marry, the one I was so in love with I thought he was going to break me for good when he broke up with me. The one who walked away when I needed him most, was sitting with me." She sighed. "He was telling me all of these wonderful things, things I had wanted to hear from him so many times and never did. And still all I can think about is Arizona." Callie laughed. Not a happy laugh, a sad laugh, because it was all just too much.

"So I told him goodbye. I stood up, I tried to walk away, and he grabbed me and said that id never do better then him." Callie rolled her eyes before letting out a shuddery breath. "Next thing I knew I was on my way to Arizona's apartment. I was terrified because I basically had it in my mind what I was going to do. I knew I couldn't keep things going like they were. We had sex, I told her I loved her, and she didn't return my feelings." Callie said sighing and shrugging her shoulders. This time she was fighting tears.

"Wow." Addison said at a loss for words. Felix was the one everyone thought Callie was going to end up with. The brunette was a bit of a serial lover. Meaning she fell in love all the time! Erica, Jenny, George, and Felix. She was in love with them all at one point.

It wasn't that she was desperate for love, but she wore her heart on her sleeve and cared like crazy. Still, Addison had never seen Callie the way she was with Arizona. She could see it in the club that night she met the blonde for the first time, and she could see the actual glow coming from Callie after her time spent with the blonde.

"Yeah." Callie sighed taking back another drink. "I don't know what I was thinking Addy. I didn't want to change Arizona, just her mind about the whole dating me thing you know?" She shook her head. "And it ended up with me drinking away my pain, feeling completely foolish, and empty."

Addison regarded her broken friend. She could see the truth in her words, and she felt helpless. There was nothing she could do, no words to make her feel better. All she could do was listen, and be there for her, and support her. All she could do was be a friend.

"Ms. Montgomery." A woman in a well tailored dress said, interrupting the conversation between friends.

"Yes?" Addison spun around asking, trying not to act as annoyed as she felt. She was still technically at work after all.

"The last convention is over, and Dr. Dwayne is asking to speak to you personally." The woman said.

Addison inwardly rolled her eyes and turned back to Callie. "I won't be long. Stay here, and have a drink, and I'll be back soon." She smiled, patting her friend on the arm before leaving.

Callie sighed at her friends departure and motioned for another drink. "Just a beer this time. Whatever you have on tap." She smiled to the man who had been serving her all night.

He walked over quietly and set the beer in front of her, before a small crowd of women walked into the bar and he quickly walked over to them. Her mind was, everywhere and no where at once. It felt good to get all of that off of her chest, but it also left her feeling even more vulnerable.

With that thought, she took a big swig of her beer and made her way to the piano. It was beautiful, a real work of art, and she couldn't help herself. She flipped open the lid, let her fingers quietly skim the keys, and took her seat at the bench.

She wanted to let out all her emotion, she needed to get it out, because she was hurting so bad inside. She needed release, and nothing else mattered. Not the crowd at the bar, not the bustling of waitresses and waiters serving drinks, nothing.

She closed her eyes and struck the first few cords. She thought back to that fateful night, four days ago, she thought back to all her emotions and she began to play.

The first cords came in slow, and soft.

"Say something, I'm giving up on you

I'll be the one, if you want me to

Anywhere I would've followed you

Say something, I'm giving up on you."

Came out in a perfect tone, even though her throat was tight with emotion and unshed tears.

"And I am feeling so small

It was over my head

I know nothing at all

And I will stumble & fall

I'm still learning to love

Just starting to crawl"

She sang with such conviction, because that's how she felt. She honestly never felt love like she felt for Arizona. She was magic, and she knew given the chance they could be something special. Together.

"Say something, I'm giving up on you

I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you

Anywhere I would've followed you

Say something, I'm giving up on you"

She continued. Her eyes still closed, her feet tapping at the pedals every so often. She Just felt, and let the music flow from her body.

"And I will swallow my pride

You're the one that I love

And I'm saying goodbye"

She sang, her voice cracking, but she held strong. She was completely unaware that the whole bar had stilled and began listening to this obviously heartbroken stranger.

"Say something, I'm giving up on you

And I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you And anywhere I would've followed you, Say something, I'm giving up on you

Say something, I'm giving up on you

Say something..."

She finished, letting out a breath. A breath that felt like a small weight was lifted. The song conveyed her emotions perfectly. They said everything she felt.

She closed the lid to the piano, to polite and emotional applause from the crowd in the bar. It was then that she was snapped back into reality. She smoothed down non existent wrinkles on her skirt and stood up with a small shy smile and sighed.

"That was beautiful." A familiar voice said. A voice she couldn't believe she was hearing. A voice she had dreamed about for the past four nights.

Her eyes traveled from the floor up, taking in a familiar sight. A sight she had come to cherish and love. "Arizona... What are you doing here?" She asked, as her eyes glistened with tears.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

A/N:

Your support has been amazing, and I can't thank you enough! Thank you all for sticking by me through this journey. Calzona fans are the best!

Again this wasn't edited by my amazing beta ineedyourgrace so all mistakes are mine, but I'm trying to get these out to you because I made you wait so long!

As always I can't wait to hear what you think!

Thursday's episode killed me! What did you all think?

Xoxo