I sighed. Was I really going to do this?

Yes, Yes I was.

"Well... it was about three months after I broke up with Larxene, just before I turned sixteen. I was... a little weird during those days. Cause, well-I guess I have to go through what happened when we broke up, huh?

"Basically, every summer I would go down and help out on my grandparent's farm. So for two out of the six months I was with Larxene, it was long distance. Then I came back, and she... well, she told me that sometimes people who love each other just aren't meant to be together. I was really understanding, and it didn't really hurt or anything.

"And I was cool for a while, I really was. But then I just got angry and shoved everyone away. For the most part, I sat under the maple tree in the backyard and just... watched the clouds. Sometimes I'd take pictures of things, or draw, but mostly... mostly I just kinda laid there.

"My friends were a little worried, 'cause they're all decent human beings. I wouldn't hang out with any of them, and... eventually I got into this really weird mentality that no one cared, that they'd all replaced me. So...I started doing a lot of really stupid things.

"I started to run away at night. My room was on the second story, but the roof outside the window was only about twelve feet off the ground, so I just went out the window. Then I'd walk to the bar down the street.

"I got in, no questions asked. I didn't even order anything to drink. And...that's where..." I glanced at Sora, who was sitting across from me now. "That's where I met them. They got me drunk- took me under their 'wing.' Fucked with my head a lot.

"The sad thing was, for a while there, I actually believed all the lies they were feeding me. And then one day, they took me home with them. I should have...I should have known right away something was wrong- they basically took me to what looked like a meth lab. These people... they weren't good people. They were junkies, and they were squatting in a house nearby my own, because...there's a lot of abandoned homes where I'm from, since the real estate market took that hit-anyways... I was pretty far gone at the time.

"And I passed out on the floor. When I woke up, the people I'd come to the house with were gone. There was just...this guy. And I was hungover, so what normally would have been scary as shit was kind of just... where the fuck am I? What did I do last night?

"I didn't really think much of the guy at first, until he started... undressing me. And that's...that's when I really..." I held my head in my hands, knees to my chest. "That's when I started to realize how bad I'd been fucked over. My so-called new friends had dumped me in some squatter house, essentially sold me for some heroine... and there really wasn't much I could do about it.

"He let me go. He did his damage, and then told me to leave. I limped back home-it was probably about two in the afternoon, so no one would have known I was even gone. I went home, and realized that I was locked out and in no condition to climb through a window. So I limped over to Maple and... just slept.

"My mom's the one who found me. She didn't realize anything was really wrong, so she was just like 'Don't you think you should take her to dinner first?' and I didn't actually answer, so she assumed I was just in one of my moods again- I get really down sometimes, so she didn't really think anything of it.

"After a few weeks of laying under the tree in a daze, school started up. I was forced to pretend I was okay-but everyone could tell something was up. Axel was the first one to notice, but he didn't say anything- we had a sort of agreement that if we wanted help, we'd ask, otherwise we'd leave ourselves to our own devices.-Anyways, it was around this time that I noticed that...well, the guy in the house?

"He went to my school. His name was Xehanort. His locker was three down from mine."

"Riku...are...are you okay?"

I shrugged. "I told you it wasn't a happy story, didn't I?"

"Well...yeah..."

"Do you want me to stop, Sora?"

"...only if you're uncomfortable sharing with me, Riku."

I smiled softly at him. "I wasn't ever comfortable sharing, Sora. But you wanted to know, didn't you?"

Sora nodded slowly.

I took a deep breath. "I saw him every day. He never said anything, never approached me, never even paid attention to me, really. So I tried to ignore him.

"And it worked. It worked really well. But I kept...having nightmares. And...the only place I didn't have nightmares was under the tree. So I would sit under the tree, sleep under the tree-even in winter, when the snow started falling.

"At this point, I'd been turning down every offer for sex from my friends for a good...three months. And they were starting to get concerned, because before that I'd never once turned them down-I mean, I never really had a reason to.

"So I made up a story about how madly in love I was with this girl named Maple. And...eventually they figured out that Maple was my tree. So it became this big joke between me and pretty much everyone. 'Hey, look, it's Riku the pansexual! And of course, Maple, his trusty transsexual tree girlfriend!' And for a while, life was good. I started to get better. Everything was good...until I was left alone to deal with my thoughts.

"And...one night I decided I just couldn't take it anymore, you know?" I said, chuckling. "It was stupid, really. I'm so stupid...I just... I brought all this upon myself, you know?"

"It's not your fault, Riku," Sora said, frowning.

"I took fourty-seven ibuprofen pills."

Sora's eyes widened.

"I puked them all up. They were old...they just made me a little sick. I passed it off as some kind of bug."

"Riku..."

"I thought I was being tortured by some sick fuck up there," I said, shaking my head. "I started shoving everyone away again, but that was normal behaviour in the winter for me. I always got kinda weird in the winter, so... they just let me be.

"And to be honest, I was okay after that. I eventually told Xion about my little stunt with the pills, but never told her why." I sighed. "And we all pretended that it wasn't weird how I suddenly was in love with the tree in the backyard. Life goes on. And that's the story behind Maple."

"Riku...who's Ansem?"

I smiled. "I don't know, Sora. Who is Ansem?"

"I think... I think it was you, wasn't it?"

"You got me, Sora. You got me."

"And... who were they?"

"Honestly? I have no clue. I'm not even sure... if they ever existed."

"What do you mean?"

"Maybe... maybe I'm just that much of a lunatic, Sora."

"You're not a lunatic, Ri-ri. You're just... you."

"...thanks. I think."

"They were real, you know."

"How would you know?"

"...I just have a feeling."

"Okay."

"Do you ever want to find them?"

"...Sometimes. But... I don't think it'd go well if I did."

"I'm...sorry you had to go through all that," he said, and I could hear that he was crying without even looking at him.

"Don't cry, Sora," I said, frowning as I wiped away his tears. "It's not your fault."

"I know...but you're hurting so much inside, Riku, and...I never even knew..."

"I didn't exactly want you to."

Sora wrapped his arms around me. "Whenever you're sad, or mad, or sick, or scared, or even happy, Riku, I want to know. Always."

"Why?"

"Because... I don't want you to have to go through these things alone anymore," he said, looking me in the eyes and smiling. "'Cause you're not alone. You never will be."

I smiled. "Thanks, Sora. For... being there. Even though I didn't really want you to be."

"You're welcome, Riku."

A/N: Well...that was difficult to write. I have a headache now. Was that confusing to you guys? I thought so. Sorry it's so confusing, but thanks for reading. :3

egyptian1995: My phone is supposed to be able to do the whole email thing. I'm too lazy to connect them, though. lol. And yeah...last chapter was kinda short. I didn't wanna break up Riku's story though, and if the chapter was too long I'd have felt bad... new chapters are more exciting when they come separately, y'know?

dearlybelovedangel: don't kill the soriku! D: lol xD Dude, have you ever looked up tentacle porn? Well don't. You'll have nightmares about it for the rest of your life. His fear is totally logical. xD
Sometimes I think Riku in this story would have made a really good Axel... but then I'm like NAH. 'cause in my head it's a Riku, not an Axel. I don't know if that made sense. I'm going to shut up now.