A WINCHESTER ENDING

I guess I started hyperventilating because Bobby slaps me a good one making me breathe normal again.

He's mumbling about how he can't believe that Dean and I have faced the devil and angels the fucking end of the world without a blink but losing each other turns us into blithering idiots.

I had never thought of it that way and I almost laugh. The list of things Dean and I have seen and done makes me wonder how we're not in nice little padded cells but we just keep on going but put one of us in danger and the other is stark raving mess.

So call me insane that I would rather fight demons and monsters on any given day than to face my brother's death.

My brother is everything and that's that.

We get Dean and Beau to one of the cabins, Laney says this is all normal that now we just have to wait for them to wake up.

I haven't done that a couple of thousand times in my life so of course I torture myself by going over every single one of them as I watch my brother lie there lifeless.

I eat only because I don't want to look all stressed out when Dean wakes up and doze in moments.

Beau wakes first and I finally feel hopeful as she takes a long breath and she says she feels normal no urge to feed on human blood. She does though want real food and lots of it she feels starved and thirsty.

Dean though still doesn't move and another day slides by.

I see Bobby and Laney murmuring to each other as they stare at Dean and I don't like the looks on their faces.

Another day is gone and I'm about to climb walls.

Bobby looks morose as he says. "Sam we have to face the fact that the ritual might have only worked on Beau."

"But we doubled it for two and he would have burned." I argue.

"He should be awake already." Laney says softly.

'We're waiting longer." I scream.

And we do.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Three days with Beau a weeping mess and two others telling me that I need to let go I flip out.

I grab Dean's shirt and lift him up shaking him. "This is not how Dean Winchester is supposed to go out you hear me, he's supposed to go out in a blaze of glory die a fucking hero not in his sleep!"

A small gasp of air escapes Dean's mouth and his brows furrow slightly. Why hadn't I done this earlier?

He's there he's alive just not waking up but it's all the proof I need and Bobby and Laney sigh.

Beau is calmer and Bobby is staring at me with that 'I should know better by now' look.

You have a better chance of convincing me to marry Bigfoot than to give up on Dean and he's the exact same way with me maybe even worse.

That is who we are, who we will always be and I wouldn't have it any other way.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

I feel as if I'm walking through a bog and opening my eyes is impossible for the longest time even though I hear my brother calling to me and I hear other voices as well.

I need to open my eyes I don't like Sam being upset and I can't remember what happened, why I'm like this but Sam needs me and I fight harder.

I feel Sam shaking me hard and he's yelling at me so I fight even harder.

I have no idea how long it takes but I finally push my eyes open and there he is my little brother my biggest reason for still being alive.

I see Bobby and two women who I have no idea who they are but the way I feel when I see the pretty brunette makes me sure I know her somehow.

There is something in her eyes that makes me feel cared for but why don't I remember her

"What happened?" I managed to ask in a croak.

"It worked Dean you and Beau are back to normal but of course you can never do things the normal way."

"What worked?" I'm really confused and feeling thirty kinds of crappy.

Sam stares at me and looks at one of the woman.

The other woman looks upset and walks outside and I just want to close my eyes again.

The only reason that I don't is because the look of worry on Sam's face isn't sitting well with me and I want to…no I need to know why.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

I am confused as all hell, Dean remembers me and he remembers Bobby but not Beau or Laney or why we are together in the first place.

Beau is upset but not as upset as I would expect of her and apparently she had forgotten what I do for a living and think that I don't notice the slight nod that Laney gives to Beau. I let it go because I want to get Dean better.

"Don't worry Beau he's got a hard head and he'll remember you." I say to her gaging her reaction.

"Maybe it's better if he doesn't." She says brokenly a tear slipping from her eye and she hugs herself as if she's so cold.

"I'm tired Sammy." Dean yawns tiredly.

"Get some rest bro I'm right here." I promise.

He's gone in seconds breathing in his own version of peaceful slumber.

Moments later Beau is sitting beside him making sure that he's covered and warm; she kisses him gently on the forehead and on the lips saying something I can't hear and then she curls up beside him and falls asleep.

I grill Laney about what has happened and she tells me that no part of this ritual has been normal so she has no idea how to fix it.

I take her for her word and I'm so tired it finally drags me down.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

I wake up to find Dean still asleep but no sign of Beau of Laney.

I try to call Beau but her number is no longer in service and when I call Laney she answers. "Please don't be mad at me Sam but I saw how important your brother is to you so I had to help her."

"Help her do what?" I ask.

"She thinks it would be easier for Dean to just forget she ever existed so that he could move on with his life with no regrets, no sorrows."

"I don't understand." I whisper.

"She had her reasons Sam I didn't pry but I could see how much she loved Dean and wanted to protect him."

"Protect him from what?"

"She didn't go into detail Sam but it had to be big for her to want him to forget her."

"That's why he had hallucinations and why it took him longer to wake up."

"I'm sorry Sam I hope that doesn't change things between us, I really like you and I want to see you again."

I sigh hard. "Keep in touch Laney." I say and hang up.

I should leave it alone, respect Beau's wishes but I can't do it. Dean doesn't deserve to lose the only women he has ever loved heart and soul without a memory of the intensity of such love.

He looks like regular Dean when he wakes up again and by that I mean the Dean before he met Beau, the one who is ready to go head first into a hunt and worry about the consequences later.

Maybe it is better that he goes on like this but there is one problem I remember Beau and I remember how happy Dean was with her.

Now I have the brother back that believes that will never happen for him, the brother who drinks and stares at the wall for hours thinking about what will never be his.

I know Beau has to be hurting too because she adored Dean wanted nothing but to see him happy and safe but I need answers for Dean's sake I need the truth.

Of course with Dean on full on hunter mode again it's not long before he is hurt badly enough to need to stay at Bobby's for a few days.

Another headstone another set of cracked ribs and probably a concussion.

I watch him mutter fitfully in his sleep; Bobby had snuck him the good stuff so he's going to be out of it for a few days so I leave him in Bobby's hands so that I can get the answers that I need.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

I'm staring at the ocean and missing the strong arms that held me and kept me safe for so long and begin to cry.

I miss Dean and I will always love him and as much as I wish that I could have erased him from my memories it's not possible now, because I have to keep him safe.

I know that some days are going to be unbearable and I'm going to want to run to him throw myself at him and make him remember me again with nothing but my kisses but I have to be strong for all of our sakes.

Dean taught me well and I covered my tracks and I'm no longer Isabeau Tharoe I am now Arandi Remington a name that came to me out of nowhere.

I'm sure that we are safe at least for now.

I forget though that Dean taught Sam too and Sam has been living the hunter's life way longer than I ever have or will so I shouldn't be surprised to hear his voice behind me on this beach far from where I came from and way away from where I left them behind.

I sigh and know if he's here Dean probably is too and I don't think that I can handle seeing him.

"Why did you do this?" Sam asks softly.

Tears stream from my eyes and I try to figure out what to say.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Dean taught her well, she has covered her tracks like a pro and I almost miss it but hey Dean taught me too and I've been playing this game way too long.

She changed her name and I might have missed it completely except she chose her last name to be the name of a gun just like ours and that was her mistake.

It takes me awhile to find her but I do far from where we last saw each other, far from where this all began.

I'm not at all surprised to find her on the beach staring at the waves hugging herself probably missing the arms that were always there to comfort her and keep her as safe as possible.

But even here she is a million miles away.

"Why did you do this?" I ask.

She doesn't look at me but I see the tears streaming down her face and I know that she probably thinks that Dean is near.

"He's not here, he's at Bobby's." I tell her.

She turns her head quickly. "Is he hurt?" She asks worriedly.

"Yeah he's hurt but he's going to be ok."

She sighs in relief turning back to the water. "I'm sorry Sam but I had to leave, had to get him to forget for his own good."

"How is forgetting the love of his life for his own good?" I raise by voice.

"There is no way that you'll understand."

"Make me understand, make me see why I shouldn't find a way to make my brother remember everything so that I can see life in his eyes again and erase that fucking empty pit that kills him slowly every fucking day."

"It's better this way Sam just trust me."

"I want to but I have to think of Dean."

"I am thinking of Dean, this is the only way to keep him sane and safe."

"Sane?" I ask in surprise.

"Sam you of all people know Dean better than anyone and how far he will go to protect his family."

"Yeah I do know that but if you want me to back you up Be…..I mean Arandi I need the whole story because take this how you will Dean is my first and foremost priority."

She stares at the water and I know she's debating on how much to reveal to me.

"Maybe we should let Dean decide then." I threaten.

"I'm pregnant!" She shouts at me.

"That's it you're running away because you're pregnant, are you kidding, do you know how much Dean wants to be a dad?" I feel thrilled for my brother picturing his reaction to know that he will be dad finally.

"I know how much he wants to be dad Sam we talked about it often." She says sadly.

"This is probably the one thing that will get him to stop hunting." I say excitedly.

"No it won't." She whispers hugging herself tight. "It will destroy him and I can't face doing that to him."

"What are you talking about?" I ask confused reaching for her to make her look at me.

She instinctively covers her belly protectively. "Sam I became pregnant while we were still vampires." She sobs and I get it everything slides into place loudly and my heart races.

She's right this would destroy Dean raised a hunter and knowing nothing else his entire life, how would he face fathering a could be monster and maybe having to kill his own child.

I pull Arandi into my arms as she sobs uncontrollably and I cry feeling the sorrow of the so unfair world that we live in and having to face lying to my brother for the rest of our lives though I swore I would never do such a thing again.

I love my brother and I need him safe. I am at a loss on what I should do.

My phone sounds then I reach for it trying to control my voice when I see Dean's name on my caller ID. "Hey bro you alright?"

"Sammy where are you?" He asks tiredly.

"Didn't Bobby tell you?"

"Yeah but you never leave me when I'm hurt." He sighs and I can hear the pain even over the phone.

"I think you're spoiled." I try to joke.

"Sammy everything ok?"

"No Dean it's not." I answer honestly.

Arandi looks me in the eyes pleading.

"Nothing a kiss and hug won't cure." I say.

Dean chuckles softly. "And I'm the spoiled one."

"I'll see you soon bro get some rest before Bobby goes momma bear on you."

"Too late." Dean groans and the line goes dead.
I stare at Arandi and two different scenarios speed through my head.

I love my brother; will die for him without regret and I will protect him to no end.

Either side of this life will bring Dean pain that he doesn't deserve and I'm lost so fucking completely lost.

Somebody please help me.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Not all stories can have happy endings and this is where I wanted to end this one. I have no idea whether or not to do a part three.

Thanks for reading!