Chapter 9

I need some sleep,
I can't go on like this.
Tried Counting Sheep,
But there's one I always miss...

Everyone says, I'm getting down too low.
Everyone says, you've just got to let it go.

You've just gotta let it go...

"Well, this is it. Welcome to Gekkoukan High School. Hope you like it."

"….Where have you been? Hey, let's go to Tartarus later. I need to get back into the swing of things. I can't leave all of the fun to you guys."

"Even if all you have now is hatred, one day you'll regret it."

"No one can escape time. It delivers us all to the same end."

I can't breathe. Too many memories…too many people shouting! Stop! Please stop! Leave me alone! Please stop….

12/11/2013

Akira pulled her puffy azure coat close to her chest. The winter air was killing her; being a woman, she already had bad enough blood circulation, and the chilling weather didn't help in the least. She decided to hurry home faster.

At that thought, she gave a snort. Home. What a funny word. Since the start of the New Dark Hour, Akira had been assigned an apartment nearby the Kirijo Headquarters. After only a couple of months, she already felt like it was the most comforting and enjoyable place-but not necessarily because of the location or the elegant 2-bedroom complex itself. No, she knew full well it was because of him.Due to the Shadows' desire to capture Akira (and the lack of roots for the boy in the first place), Mitsuru had assigned Akihiko to live with the girl until they could get this mystery figured out. It made Akira glad, to say the least. The muscular man was her best friend and she felt the very safest and happiest when he was near him. Those moments of happiness where what she lived for.

She hurried inside of the building and rushed to her door, Apartment inside, Akira breathed a sigh of relief. The heater was running on full blast and it jumped at the chance to curl itself around her stinging cheeks. She smiled and headed to the white marble counter in the kitchen, setting her bag of groceries down on top of it. She shook out of her coat and looked around.

"Akihiko!" She called out. No answer. She peered into his mess of a room, but all of his training equipment-his barbells, his weight bench, his punching bag, and so on-were untouched. She scouted the entire area, but there was no other living soul inside the place. She sighed, disappointment weighing down her heart and returned to the kitchen to make dinner.

Hours passed after eating, but the silverette hadn't come back. Akira didn't bother calling his cell, as it was sitting on the stand beside the front door. This was one of the days that Akihiko didn't want to be found. Akira got nervous at times like these. What had she said now? What pushed him away this time? Akira didn't know why Akihiko would ditch her like he did, but she knew at this point that it was because she stirred something inside of him that he could only take so much of before bursting out the door. Akira gave a defeated huff and put his dinner in the microwave to retain what heat it had left.

Akira was about to retire to her room for a power nap-it was nearly 8pm, and the New Dark Hour would soon be upon Iwatodai-when a knock sounded. Akira swiftly ran to it and touched the handle. Had Akihiko forgotten his keys again?

Akira's eyes looked at the hooks beside her. No, his pair were gone. She opened the door with hesitation.

Shinjiro stood before her, staring at something going on a few doors down. When Akira appeared in the doorway, his eyes shifted to her. The stern curiosity in them drifted into a private softness.

"Hey," he greeted. Akira gave him a smile.

"Hello." She had become quite fond of the tall, dark man, as he'd taken it upon himself to take care of Akira in his own way. He was there to defend her when she was in danger, just as Akihiko was, and always listened to her worries and troubles. He was her second favorite person on the team.

"Aki around?" He politely refrained from peering over her shoulder into the apartment, keeping his gaze on the blonde. Akira, still not quite used to meeting people's eyes, turned to the empty space behind her.

"Not right now. I think he went out to train in the snow." Words to comfort herself, mostly. Shinjiro could see right through her, but said nothing about it. Akira cleared her throat. "Would you like to come in? We can both wait for him. He'll probably come back just before the Dark Hour."

"Sure." Any other boy may have been uncertain or mischievous about the idea of staying in a girl's apartment-alone, nonetheless-but Shinjiro was different. Akira opened the door wide to him, allowing him into the apartment to display her trust in his intentions. Shinjiro stalked in and waited to seat himself at the counter until Akira had sealed the door again.

They sat across from each, at first making polite conversation about the weather and the people struggling to get their shopping done before Christmas, but it wasn't long before Akira's true thoughts escaped.

"Less than one week until the next full moon," she muttered, pouring her friend some steaming tea. Shinjiro drank it, but she couldn't tell if he liked it or not. He hid some expressions so well.

"Yeah. The last ones were nothin' to laugh at. They're getting persistent."

Akira shivered against her own scalding cup. The team still didn't know what the Shadows wanted with her and it was unsettling. Akira hated that she had to watch her back every night. No evening felt safe.

"Last month had two enemies in one. The main Shadow had a chainsaw for an arm, and there was the woman who hugged his leg and kept casting support spells."

Shinjiro put his mug down and stared into its contents, saying nothing. Akira took the moment to watch his face. His features was sharp, but there was a handsomeness to them. Something strange, she realized then, was that his cheekbones were fuller than she had first met him. They used to be so thin that you could see his bones trying to tear themselves out from his skin, but he looked much healthier. His lips were thin and chapped, and his jaw made him look so strong. Suddenly, his eyes closed.

"See somethin' interesting?"

Akira blushed. "I-I…" The corner of his lips twitched up in the smallest of grins and he opened his eyes to meet hers.

"Relax, kid. It was a joke."

"Oh, r-right." He had caught her gaze and held it. Akira wanted turn away, like she usually would, but something kept them on his. He was studying her very carefully, searching for something. He changed the subject, seeing the discomfort in her face.

"You remember anything from your past?"

Akira sighed. "No. I don't understand why I can't recall anything, though. It's been months, and still nothing." Akira picked at a spot on the table that she'd missed while cleaning that morning. Shinjiro watched her for a moment, then called for her attention. Akira looked up at him.

"Don't worry so much. The others are gonna help you find out what you're here for."

Akira tilted her head, her eyes lolling to the side. "Even Akihiko…" She said without thinking.

Shinjiro returned to his cup. "Yeah, even him."

"And you, too, huh?" Akira stared straight at him as she waited for his answer. Shinjiro smiled and nodded.

"Yeah."

"That reminds me, how is it that you guys are so helpful to me? I've always wondered…what is it that you see in me that makes you want to help get my memories back?"

Shinjiro rose a brow. "Ain't it obvious?"

Akira blushed, but said nothing. The boy sighed.

"It started with Akihiko, kid. He trusts you, so we trust you, too."

"Just like that. You make trust sound so easy." Some sort of nostalgia struck her heart, making it grow heavy. An inkling of…something tugged at her from the depths of her mind. She tried to grab it and pull it into the light where she could inspect it, but it slipped away.

"It's not."

Akira rose a brow at the boy, but didn't get a chance to question him any further.

The door unlocked and Akihiko stepped inside the room. He caught the gazes of both of his friends, and paused while shrugging off his jacket.

"Am I interrupting something?" He asked, half-joking.

"No," Akira answered quickly. Then, she gasped and hurried over to him. "You're bleeding again! What happened?!" Like a worrisome mother with her child, she started frantically examining the new cuts and bruises on his face. She tried to wipe the small streams of blood off with her fingers. Akihiko tried to swat her away.

"I'm fine," he insisted. Akira didn't back off and kept trying to wipe his wounds away.

"I'll go get some bandages. Go over to the sink and wash your face! I'll be right back!" She rushed off to look for medical supplies. Akihiko sighed and reluctantly went over to splash his cheeks with water. Shinjiro watched him.

"'Nother fight?"

Akihiko huffed. "These guys were tough. I took on five at once. It was a challenge, but was a good work out."

Shinjiro gave him a stern look. "…You're an idiot." Akihiko gave him a glare.

"What'd you call me?" He was more tense than usual, but Shinjiro didn't flinch in the least.

"Idiot." He repeated. "You're being reckless. Do you have any idea what you're putting Akira through with your tantrums?" Akihiko's fingers clenched the edges of the sink, turning his knuckles white. Shinjiro leveled his gaze with his childhood friend. "What's going on with you?"

"Nothing!" Akihiko hit the edge of his sink with his fist. Blood spurted from his hand.

"Bullshit." Shinjiro stood up. "You've been acting like an moron for weeks. The reason I came over tonight was to make sure that Akira wasn't losing sleep over your sorry ass."

"W-well, she doesn't have to do that. I never asked her to." Even though his tone was sharp, Akihiko's expression was growing more and more guilty.

"Tch. You're a dumbass." Shinjiro shoved his hands in his trench coat pockets. "If you don't cut the shit, I'm gonna punch you in the face." Akihiko hissed lightly.

"You guys?" Akira was standing behind the boys, staring up at them with cautious eyes. Shinjiro backed away from his friend, and Akihiko cast his head down. Akira glanced back and forth between them. "Everything okay…?"

"Fine," Akihiko muttered. Akira didn't press. Instead, she approached Akihiko and asked him to sit down. She had meant one of the stools, but the boy ended up pulling himself onto the counter. Akira sighed under her breath and pulled out a rag to dab her friend's wounds with. Akihiko flinched each time the damp cloth hit his skin.

"Does it hurt?" Akira asked him.

"No, it's just…." Akihiko winced again as she touched a gash above his left eyebrow. "Cold." Akira giggled slightly.

"You're such a baby, sometimes."

Akihiko gave a pout. "I am not."

Shinjiro watched the two banter for a few moments more before giving a small huff and heading out of the room. Akira heard his steps and turned her torso to look at him.

"Senpai," she called. "Where're you going?"

"I'm gonna get some sleep before tonight." He opened the door and started walking out. It was only partially a lie. Really, he just didn't want to be around his two friends while they played their little games.

"Okay. Well, see you tonight, then." Akira gave him a soft smile. Shinjiro gave her a nod and left.

Akira didn't look away from the door for a few minutes. Akihiko felt a ping in his chest. He didn't know what it meant, but he wanted it to go away. Immediately.

"I wonder if he's ok?" Akira said thoughtfully. "He wanted to see you, I thought. But he didn't stay very long."

Akihiko sighed and looked at the white wood his best friend had gone through. "He's fine. You don't need to worry about him."

"Ok." Akira returned to the boy and started putting bandages over his clean cuts. "How are you, though?"

"Me?"

"Yeah. Do these hurt?" She poked at one of the bandages. Akihiko grimaced. Akira tried to hide her smile.

"What was that for?!" He demanded.

"Sorry! Just making sure you're focus is back here."

Akihiko gave her a confused look. "What do you mean?"

Akira shook her head. "Nothing." The girl gave him a smile, but she seemed distracted. Akihiko thought about Shinjiro's words: had he been worrying her? She did always panic whenever he came home with injuries, no matter how small.

"Are you alright?"

Akira turned around so that he couldn't see her face. "Of course! Why do you ask?" She pulled out his surely cold dinner from the microwave and put it next to him on the counter. She started to walk away, but Akihiko still couldn't see her face. It bothered him, so he reached out for her wrist. The usual shock from their physical connection buzzed insanely. Akira then met his gaze.

"You…know that you can tell me anything, right?" Akihiko searched her face to try and understand her feelings, the ones he had so cruelly attempted to ignore. Akira's eyes betrayed her, and their crimson tint darkened ever so slightly.

"Have I been…upsetting you?" She asked quietly.

"Upsetting me?"

Her gaze met his. This time, she was searching for something within him. "Ever since that day in the hotel, you've been running away from me, like I'm some sort of…trash, almost. You can only seem to stay near me for so long before you finally can't stand the stench of me anymore, whatever that 'stench' may be…. What have I been doing to make you do…this to yourself?" She gestured to the bruises and gashes on his face without touching him.

Akihiko sighed, staring into the shadows between his fingers and her pale skin. The shade was lighter than Akihiko's and he wondered for a moment when he'd gotten so tan. It was possible that he just looked like he had darker skin when he was next to Akira, but he wasn't sure which it was…

"We're friends, aren't we, Akihiko?" The way she said his name made both his heart and lungs catch their breath. He could hear the doubt in her voice, the insecurities that had come with losing a large chunk of her identity and purpose to memory loss. She didn't have anyone but him and the team, and he could feel through the pulse under her skin her fear of being truly alone.

Miki crossed his mind then…the memory of her death, in particular. He may have had Shinjiro at his side, but after that day, he'd felt like he'd lost his only friend on the entire planet. He'd never felt so alone before, and had been trying to force that feeling away ever since he was strong enough to knock out his first opponent. Miki had been everything to him…but this girl-the one with red eyes before him-had no one to remember in the first place. Akihiko couldn't imagine a life without the memories of his younger sister, no matter how painful he may have been.

This is what Shinjiro had been trying to talk to him about. He'd been trying to warn Akihiko about being more sensitive, and putting Akira's feelings before his own. What a shitty protector and friend he was being…

Akihiko sighed and met the girl's eyes straight on. "You haven't done anything," he assured her. "It's not your fault that I've been acting this way…it's mine." Akira's head tilted slightly, but her gaze stayed trained on the boy's. Akihiko sighed again, fighting against the swelling memories of his beloved. "You just…remind me of someone I know, someone I really cared about once, before she…passed on."

Akira's features softened. She seemed to understand. "Oh…," was all she could muster.

"Please, forgive me," Akihiko added quickly. "I don't want you to take this personally. You're my friend, too, and…I don't want you to feel bad about this. It's something that you can't help. It's not your fault."

Akira suddenly moved from his grasp and reached her arms out towards his chest, stopping only inches away. At the last moment, she pulled back, then buried her head into his pectorals.

"I'm sorry," she muttered, turning her head out from his skin so she could speak. "I'm sorry that I remind you of something so painful that you feel…like you have to hurt yourself." Akihiko had frozen under her, not sure what to do from there. He felt something warm and wet slide down his muscles and realized that Akira was crying silently. Akihiko wrapped his arms around her body, all-too aware of how small and delicate she was beneath his hulking arms. He held her there for a few moments, hoping that his next words were the ones that would ease her heart.

"This changes nothing, you know. I'll still keep my promise to protect you until you get your memories back. And I'm still your friend. Please don't cry…."

Akira, after a few moments, stepped out of Akihiko's grasp and met his eyes. They stared into each other, both holding their breaths until their faces started turning blue. At last, she gave a small smile.

"Thank you, Akihiko." She said to him. Her voice was calm, and she didn't have to stumble over a sob. Her hands pulled themselves into her chest and her gaze fell to the floor awkwardly. Neither knew what to say after that, and they sat for a long time in that kitchen without uttering a word. Eventually, they both ended up heading to their rooms for a short nap before the Dark Hour.

…. ….

10:29pm

Akihiko knew that he should sleep, but he couldn't. 'If I don't rest, my body won't perform at it's top level,' he kept lecturing himself. His mind and body, however, seemed to be on different planes of thought. Akira's saddened face popped into his head every few seconds or so. To think that she'd tried to so hard to hide her tears from him…it made Akihiko feel like an ass.

More of Shinjiro's insults poured into his head. The boy tried to drown them out by putting a large pillow over his face, but only succeeded in irritating his wounds. He sighed and sat up in his bed; there was no chance of getting any rest tonight.

A sudden scream came from the other room and Akihiko leapt off of his covers, rushing towards Akira's room. The door was shut, so he slammed his shoulder into it-like any logical person would, of course. The door burst off of its hinges, landing harshly on the floor. Akira didn't seem to notice, as she was thrashing uncontrollably on top of her sheets. Upon closer inspection, her eyes were still closed.

"Noooooo!" The girl screamed. "Leave me allloooonnnneee!"

Akihiko grabbed Akira's shoulders and stated to shake her.

"Akira! Wake up!"

"No! Make it stop! Make it stop! PLEASE! Too many people shouting! I-I don't want to see anymore of this! PLEASE!"

"Akira! Please wake up!" Akihiko called again.

She was crying now, and her constant thrashing against his hold was giving her bruises. "Make it stop! I can't take it! Stop it! STOP IT!"

Akihiko desperately wrapped his arms around her torso, restraining the girl's violent flailing. Akira continued to scream. Akihiko buried his face into the crook of her neck.

"Please, calm down," he begged softly. "I'm here, I'm here…"

He remembered a time when Miki had been scared. It was late at night in the orphanage and she'd had a bad dream. She'd curled up into Akihiko's bed and wouldn't stop crying. Akihiko held her tightly until she'd calmed down and fallen fast asleep.

"Please…" He didn't realize it at first, but he'd started sobbing. The memory of holding his sweet baby sister seemed so close of a memory that he could almost smell her innocent scent. It made his heart tighten and his eyes burn. "Miki…." He was helpless to help anyone….

Finally, after an agonizing hour of this, Akira's body stilled, and her breathing regulated. She snuggled into Akihiko's body, her cold and runny nose rubbing up against his bare skin. The boy sighed in relief and wiped his eyes on the pillow beneath him. Akira's warm body nestled itself deep into his and he felt incredibly comfortable having her so close. The tight tingle of his skin touching her arms and back was like getting a gentle massage. It was lolling him into a deep and cozy sleep….

Before he knew it, the Dark Hour came, making the world a deep blue. Akira's eyes opened the moment the aura touched her skin.

"It's here," she muttered, lifting off of her companion. She kept her hazy stare trained on the window, overlooking the brilliant city.

"What is?" Akihiko asked. Akira didn't answer. She only rose from her bed and approached the window. She opened it wide and, though no breeze came in, Akihiko suddenly felt colder. He watched for only a moment as Akira stepped onto the sill-then made to jump. The silverette panicked and dashed to her side.

"Akira!" He called as he wrapped his arms around the girl's frail waist. He dragged the girl back inside, nearly toppling over as his foot caught on a jacket on the floor. The girl shook her head vigorously. Her head bobbed up and looked around the room a bit before turning to Akihiko.

"What…what happened?" Her eyes were back to normal, their red glow blinking slowly as her mind started waking up. Akihiko felt his anxiety rush full force up into his head.

"What?! You tried to jump out a window, Akira!"

The girl was surprised. "I what?"

"Do you have idea how scared I was?! I thought you were going to-" Akihiko saw Akira's face flinch as he squeezed her too tight. He quickly released her and took a series of deep breaths.

Akira looked to the window. "Why did I…?"

Akihiko's cell phone rang in his pocket. He swore under his breath. He picked it up. "Hey…. Yeah, I know. We're late. We're on our way." He put the phone away. "Let's go."

Akira followed her friend closely, unable to say much the entire trip. Akihiko glanced back at her once. For now, he decided he would keep the event to himself. But he made himself a vibrant promise to keep a more watchful eye on the girl.

... ...

Hey guys! Long time no see!

This was long overdue. But here is the next chapter. I'll be sure to post more often than 6 months. :/

The song from this is "I Need Some Sleep" by the Eels. I don't own the song or Persona 3. Thanks!